Kids today or: I miss my copy of Pokemon Pearl

Kagera

Djiem wrote: »

I've never been beaten up and I'm well-adjusted and don't act like an asshole in society.
So, I'm not sure it's about the beating itself.

I would like independent corroboration of levels of asshole-ness before verifying.

Spoiler:

I kid, I know you're an asshole already.

Spoiler:

That was me kidding again.

Uncle_Balsamic

That kid is pretty ungrateful and 12 year olds are not little kids, he should have known not to do that. You made a nice gesture and that kid was damn cheeky and frankly he doesn't deserve that game.

BlueBlue

Haha, well if all went according to plan, he doesn't have the game anymore.

Trading in the game does not seem like such a big deal to me, but it may be because my own mother does this a lot. It is basically understood that any gift she receives will be the wrong color or something and returned. When you give someone money you expect them to trade it for something else - is this only ok because that is what you expected them to do with it? If they make it into origami do you want to beat the shit out of them?

The dick thing was switching to beggar-mode.

Faffel

My brother bought me a $30 copy of Shenmue for no reason when I was younger and had my beloved Dreamcast new. I traded it in a year or two later for $3, and I still feel like a bit of a dick for it. It's just the principle of it, I guess. There's a difference between a Christmas gift and handing something out of your collection because you want this kid to get something back that someone else took from him. This kid knows what it was like to have his game stolen, so why would he take someone elses then ungratefully trade it in? Even if it was weeks, that's still pretty bad. Perhaps it's the way I was raised, though.

Fizban140

That kid is a dick, you need to take the game back and teach him a lesson. That is like going to your neighbors house, asking if you can borrow his bicycle because gas is too much and then pawning the bike for gas money.

Djiem

Fizban140 wrote: »

That kid is a dick, you need to take the game back and teach him a lesson. That is like going to your neighbors house, asking if you can borrow his bicycle because gas is too much and then pawning the bike for gas money.

No. Not at all.
It's like if the neighbor GIVES you his bike, then you pawn it.

The kid is a dick, but the game was given. You can't just come back to someone and say: You know that thing I gave you? Yeah, I'm taking back.
It's as dickish if not more.

PeregrineFalcon

Djiem wrote: »

Fizban140 wrote: »

That kid is a dick, you need to take the game back and teach him a lesson. That is like going to your neighbors house, asking if you can borrow his bicycle because gas is too much and then pawning the bike for gas money.

No. Not at all.
It's like if the neighbor GIVES you his bike, then you pawn it.

The kid is a dick, but the game was given. You can't just come back to someone and say: You know that thing I gave you? Yeah, I'm taking back.
It's as dickish if not more.

It's more like "Someone stole my bike" so you give the kid a bike out of pity, and then he asks for your other bikes so he can sell them and buy a car.

Fizban140

Djiem wrote: »

Fizban140 wrote: »

That kid is a dick, you need to take the game back and teach him a lesson. That is like going to your neighbors house, asking if you can borrow his bicycle because gas is too much and then pawning the bike for gas money.

No. Not at all.
It's like if the neighbor GIVES you his bike, then you pawn it.

The kid is a dick, but the game was given. You can't just come back to someone and say: You know that thing I gave you? Yeah, I'm taking back.
It's as dickish if not more.

Well enough with the analogies, that kid is a dick for taking the game knowing he was going to trade it in soon. He didn't care about the game just the money. Mind as well have just handed him $5.

Akinos

That sob story sounds totally fake. Fuck that kid.

mcdermott

Djiem wrote: »

Fizban140 wrote: »

That kid is a dick, you need to take the game back and teach him a lesson. That is like going to your neighbors house, asking if you can borrow his bicycle because gas is too much and then pawning the bike for gas money.

No. Not at all.
It's like if the neighbor GIVES you his bike, then you pawn it.

The kid is a dick, but the game was given. You can't just come back to someone and say: You know that thing I gave you? Yeah, I'm taking back.
It's as dickish if not more.

Well, it's not so much "I'm taking back that thing I gave you." It's "You know that thing I gave you? Well I gave it to you because I thought you were actually missing your copy, and wanted to play it. Not so you could pawn it. If I just wanted to give you money, I'd have given you fucking cash you ungrateful little shit."

PatboyX

Once I give something, I give it. It is not mine. He can sell it, smash it or whatever. If I only loaned it to the kid, yeah, I expect him to hold on to it and keep it in good condition. I would still be pissed because I could have just as easily "given" it to someone else for money but, yeah, giving is giving. I no longer own it.

I would just not give that person anything else or, more accurately, not think as much about the things I give them because they are not showing that they are coming to these offers with the same mindset I am. But I wouldn't take it back nor would I be all that shocked.

RainbowDespair

Eh, giving a video game to a 12-year old boy whose family doesn't have any money to spend on new video games and not expecting him to eventually trade it away at some point is an incredibly naive thing to think. I'll admit it shows ingratitude and immaturity on the kid's part if he sold it away immediately and then started asking for more freebies, but the kid's 12 and immaturity is almost to be expected.

In short, don't give away cherished items and then become upset when the recipient doesn't cherish them like you did. If you're going to give something away then really give it away and let the recipient do whatever they want with it.

mcdermott

PatboyX wrote: »

Once I give something, I give it. It is not mine. He can sell it, smash it or whatever. If I only loaned it to the kid, yeah, I expect him to hold on to it and keep it in good condition. I would still be pissed because I could have just as easily "given" it to someone else for money but, yeah, giving is giving. I no longer own it.

Except that if I gave somebody something of mine because they gave me some stupid sob story, then they proceeded to intentionally just smash it in front of me, I'd fucking hit them. This really isn't that much better.

RainbowDespair wrote: »

Eh, giving a video game to a 12-year old boy whose family doesn't have any money to spend on new video games and not expecting him to eventually trade it away at some point is an incredibly naive thing to think. I'll admit it shows ingratitude and immaturity on the kid's part if he sold it away immediately and then started asking for more freebies, but the kid's 12 and immaturity is almost to be expected.

In short, don't give away cherished items and then become upset when the recipient doesn't cherish them like you did. If you're going to give something away then really give it away and let the recipient do whatever they want with it.

I don't think it's naive to think the kid might at least play it for a little while before talking about trading it in for some other shit. There's a difference between "at some point" and talking about pawning it off right after you gave it to him (especially since you gave it to him because he was bitching about losing his). Then asking for more.

And I certainly don't think ingratitude or immaturity is to be rewarded, and actually I think it is to be punished. Hence the reason I'd take my shit back and tell him why.

EDIT: Though really, this is why I never give anything away anyway. To pretty much anybody. Ever.

EDIT: Not that I'm a total cheapass. I'm all about buying a buddy a beer or helping a friend out if they need money. I just don't give "stuff" to people, because it's my stuff and I probably own it because I like it.

Akinos

I would usually agree that giving is giving, and I would of course expect him to eventually trade it away or lose it or whatever, but the turn around from I-wish-I-had-my-Pokemans-I-so-sad to I-CAN-HAS-MOAR-TRADE-INS-FOR-PSP? in the same visit makes the kid a grade A dick.

dr0neboy

Chance wrote: »

dr0neboy wrote: »

Chance's story is really nice and gripping but wouldn't it be even better to talk to Aaron about him expecting hand outs? I mean you were a real hero giving him that confidence boost and sending him in the right direction but why not do the same when he's starting to take advantage of the situation?
What I'm getting at is that kids are kids. You can't do them something good and then be ungrateful when they don't return the favor, you need to hint them in the right direction of returning that favor. I believe that's how you really help them out.

Actually we did have talks about not expecting free stuff later. I explained that I don't make much, couldn't afford to give him candy every day, and that one time was a reward for something awesome he did. Eventually he pared down his attempts to simply trying to purchase items he couldn't-quite-afford (short a quarter, a nickle). To be honest I can't remember if I let it slide or not - it was a while ago.

How nice, I am a strong believer in dialogue between people (especially with kids) and you, good sir, make a fine example of that.

Akatsuki

Don't know if this can be considered related, since no one took advantage of me, it just involves kids and games But last Summer I was playing Nintendogs and was, well, talking to the dog and my 2 year old nephew got curious, so he started watching me play, said that the dog was cute and started calling the dog too (name is Kirby btw). During that Summer he would regularly ask me how Kirby was doing or if he could pet him.
It was a cool feeling, because obviously I want to guide him through the world of videogames, and it felt like a 1st step and it was a way of bonding. Heart warming.

pablo_price

seriously if I had some conniving little shit try to pull that with me I would've immediately taken my game back and then double checked the rest of my stuff to make sure he didn't pocket anything while I wasn't paying attention

PatboyX

mcdermott wrote: »

PatboyX wrote: »

Once I give something, I give it. It is not mine. He can sell it, smash it or whatever. If I only loaned it to the kid, yeah, I expect him to hold on to it and keep it in good condition. I would still be pissed because I could have just as easily "given" it to someone else for money but, yeah, giving is giving. I no longer own it.

Except that if I gave somebody something of mine because they gave me some stupid sob story, then they proceeded to intentionally just smash it in front of me, I'd fucking hit them. This really isn't that much better.

RainbowDespair wrote: »

Eh, giving a video game to a 12-year old boy whose family doesn't have any money to spend on new video games and not expecting him to eventually trade it away at some point is an incredibly naive thing to think. I'll admit it shows ingratitude and immaturity on the kid's part if he sold it away immediately and then started asking for more freebies, but the kid's 12 and immaturity is almost to be expected.

In short, don't give away cherished items and then become upset when the recipient doesn't cherish them like you did. If you're going to give something away then really give it away and let the recipient do whatever they want with it.

I don't think it's naive to think the kid might at least play it for a little while before talking about trading it in for some other shit. There's a difference between "at some point" and talking about pawning it off right after you gave it to him (especially since you gave it to him because he was bitching about losing his). Then asking for more.

And I certainly don't think ingratitude or immaturity is to be rewarded, and actually I think it is to be punished. Hence the reason I'd take my shit back and tell him why.

EDIT: Though really, this is why I never give anything away anyway. To pretty much anybody. Ever.

EDIT: Not that I'm a total cheapass. I'm all about buying a buddy a beer or helping a friend out if they need money. I just don't give "stuff" to people, because it's my stuff and I probably own it because I like it.

I understand but still...I gave it away. I'm a fool for buying into the kid's story. Fool me once and all that.
I don't really make it a habit to part with something I am not ready to see gone forever. I think we all agree the kid is responsible for certain levels of callous behavior. And while I'd be irritated and hurt at his actions, I pretty well fucked myself by giving it to him. Yes, it would be within the realm of possibility to get it back but I would feel better just to leave it and just not help him in the future.

BlueBlue

What weirds me out is that Gary was originally going to trade for it - I wonder how that fit into his plan of trading for a psp, or was the sob story all part of a calculated 12 y/o scheme?

Louie

Some kids just don't have a sense of what is right or wrong, I see it at work everyday (I'm a teacher). It's up to you to tell them if they are being a dick as their friends/family might all be dicks too and they know no better.

That or punch him in the cock, he probably deserves it.

Fatty McBeardo

Jesus. As a leading member of the League of Awful Children I admit I was pretty hellish, but I never did anything that brazen. The worst I did was drag my feet to absurd lengths when it came to thank you calls and letters for birthday and Christmas gifts.

I am with the "needs a backhanding" crowd because it's the only way he'll learn. If he doesn't learn now he never will and it will hurt him later in life. That's been my experience.

mogdemon

Kid made a dick move, no question. If he was not conscious of what he was doing, then his parents neglected to teach him a few things that 12-year-olds ought to know.

That said, it would be a dickish thing for the OP to ask for it back.

I would sit down with the kid and give him a good long talk. (oh geez this turned out to be long)

"I understand that I gave you a copy of my game, and it is yours. You told me that your friend had lost your own copy, and seemed excited at the idea of replacing it. I could see you wanted that specific game, so of course I thought that you missed playing it. It made me feel good to think that you would get to enjoy playing a game you cherished once again.

"However, I was apparently wrong. I will be honest; my feelings were hurt when I realized your intention was not to play the game, but to trade it in for something different. While you may not have meant anything by it, I feel it was dishonest of you to not mention that until after I had given you the game. Before, I felt a little bit sad to part with one of my favorite games, but that was outweighed by the happiness I felt when I imagined how I was restoring something you lost that was important to you. It's just like on TV--giving gifts makes you feel warm inside, especially when the person to whom you gave the gift returns a smile and a 'thank you.' But I feel that I misjudged you, that perhaps this particular game wasn't that important to you after all. If it really was important, why would you trade it in? Wouldn't you at least want to play it first?

"Since I already gave you the gift, I can't take it back from you. But I would like you to think about what it was you did that may have hurt my feelings, and what you can change for the next time someone is gracious to you. Maybe someday soon you'll be inspired to give someone a gift, too."

mcdermott

Kid's a dick. A speech like that isn't going to turn him around, it's going to make him laugh at you when he goes home to play his new PSP. I vote cock-punching.

BlueBlue

Yeah I can't read that with a straight face either but I think if you punch someone else's kid in the cock there are going to be severe repercussions.

Darmak

Chance, your stories are the most heartwarming things I've heard in a long, long time.

mogdemon

At least my response is serious, and one the OP is actually capable of doing without getting sued

Thinking from the OP's point of view, there's not much else I could do. If the kid is still an ungrateful little shit 5 years from now, then it's the parents' fault for failing to do their job and discipline him. In the end, they're the only ones with the authority to do it, especially in this day and age where a teacher would lose their job for whipping out the yardstick. And I definitely believe in giving kids that treatment when they deserve it--but the only one who will get the honor of smacking my kids is me. (The SO can share dibs, I guess)

Sorry to derail the discussion.

Beck

Wembley wrote: »

I'm still waiting to hear from Beck about the timeline for this thing. I think he's got the right attitude, a gift is a gift and once given they can do what they want with it, but if this kid is talking about his plans to sell the game he was given in the very same trip to the guy that gave him the gift then that's a real douche move.

Sorry, I had to head to bed. I made him lunch, so...It was maybe forty minutes after I gave it to him.

And, Chance, that was a great story. Thanks for sharing!

Stormwatcher

I wouldn't take it back, but I would certainly tell him that A) I'm completely disappointed in him, and that B) he should never expect any spontaneous gifts or favors from me in the future.

When a kid looks up to someone, it really hurts when this someone gets let down by them.

langfor6

I have a similar story. A few years ago I went home for Christmas, and was visiting a friend of mine. I found out his son was playing a Game Boy Advance. This was right around the time the DS Lite was being launched. I told my friend he needed to get the kid a DS, and was told that the GBA was fine.

I wasn't going to have any of this balderdash, so I give the kid my DS. It gave me an excuse to buy a Lite.

He still plays it to this day, and I think he really loves it. I guess my story isn't that similar after all. It's better though, because it has a happy ending.

mcdermott

mogdemon wrote: »

At least my response is serious, and one the OP is actually capable of doing without getting sued

Thinking from the OP's point of view, there's not much else I could do. If the kid is still an ungrateful little shit 5 years from now, then it's the parents' fault for failing to do their job and discipline him. In the end, they're the only ones with the authority to do it, especially in this day and age where a teacher would lose their job for whipping out the yardstick. And I definitely believe in giving kids that treatment when they deserve it--but the only one who will get the honor of smacking my kids is me. (The SO can share dibs, I guess)

Sorry to derail the discussion.

My original response was serious, too. Take the shit back, tell him why. Has the whole "I'm sorely disappointed in you" aspect, as well as the you don't get to keep shit if you're an ungrateful little prick aspect as well, in case the former doesn't sink in to his little 12-year-old shit-for-a-brain.

Win-win.

Oh, and then you get to keep your shit.

Win-win-win.

DualEdge

Throw some yelling in the mix if he doesn't quite grasp the idea that you're a bit pissed off.

Djiem

mcdermott wrote: »

mogdemon wrote: »

At least my response is serious, and one the OP is actually capable of doing without getting sued

Thinking from the OP's point of view, there's not much else I could do. If the kid is still an ungrateful little shit 5 years from now, then it's the parents' fault for failing to do their job and discipline him. In the end, they're the only ones with the authority to do it, especially in this day and age where a teacher would lose their job for whipping out the yardstick. And I definitely believe in giving kids that treatment when they deserve it--but the only one who will get the honor of smacking my kids is me. (The SO can share dibs, I guess)

Sorry to derail the discussion.

My original response was serious, too. Steal the shit back, tell him why. Has the whole "I'm sorely disappointed in you" aspect, as well as the you don't get to keep shit if you're an ungrateful little prick aspect as well, in case the former doesn't sink in to his little 12-year-old shit-for-a-brain.

Win-win.

Oh, and then you get to keep your shit.

Win-win-win.

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

Speed Racer

Djiem wrote: »

mcdermott wrote: »

mogdemon wrote: »

At least my response is serious, and one the OP is actually capable of doing without getting sued

Thinking from the OP's point of view, there's not much else I could do. If the kid is still an ungrateful little shit 5 years from now, then it's the parents' fault for failing to do their job and discipline him. In the end, they're the only ones with the authority to do it, especially in this day and age where a teacher would lose their job for whipping out the yardstick. And I definitely believe in giving kids that treatment when they deserve it--but the only one who will get the honor of smacking my kids is me. (The SO can share dibs, I guess)

Sorry to derail the discussion.

My original response was serious, too. Steal the shit back, tell him why. Has the whole "I'm sorely disappointed in you" aspect, as well as the you don't get to keep shit if you're an ungrateful little prick aspect as well, in case the former doesn't sink in to his little 12-year-old shit-for-a-brain.

Win-win.

Oh, and then you get to keep your shit.

Win-win-win.

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

As it turns out, you can!

Djiem

Mushroom Pie wrote: »

Djiem wrote: »

mcdermott wrote: »

mogdemon wrote: »

At least my response is serious, and one the OP is actually capable of doing without getting sued

Thinking from the OP's point of view, there's not much else I could do. If the kid is still an ungrateful little shit 5 years from now, then it's the parents' fault for failing to do their job and discipline him. In the end, they're the only ones with the authority to do it, especially in this day and age where a teacher would lose their job for whipping out the yardstick. And I definitely believe in giving kids that treatment when they deserve it--but the only one who will get the honor of smacking my kids is me. (The SO can share dibs, I guess)

Sorry to derail the discussion.

My original response was serious, too. Steal the shit back, tell him why. Has the whole "I'm sorely disappointed in you" aspect, as well as the you don't get to keep shit if you're an ungrateful little prick aspect as well, in case the former doesn't sink in to his little 12-year-old shit-for-a-brain.

Win-win.

Oh, and then you get to keep your shit.

Win-win-win.

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

As it turns out, you can!

Ok, physically, you can, the same way you can shoot some random person. I meant that it's not right.

pablo_price

Djiem wrote: »

Mushroom Pie wrote: »

Djiem wrote: »

mcdermott wrote: »

mogdemon wrote: »

At least my response is serious, and one the OP is actually capable of doing without getting sued

Thinking from the OP's point of view, there's not much else I could do. If the kid is still an ungrateful little shit 5 years from now, then it's the parents' fault for failing to do their job and discipline him. In the end, they're the only ones with the authority to do it, especially in this day and age where a teacher would lose their job for whipping out the yardstick. And I definitely believe in giving kids that treatment when they deserve it--but the only one who will get the honor of smacking my kids is me. (The SO can share dibs, I guess)

Sorry to derail the discussion.

My original response was serious, too. Steal the shit back, tell him why. Has the whole "I'm sorely disappointed in you" aspect, as well as the you don't get to keep shit if you're an ungrateful little prick aspect as well, in case the former doesn't sink in to his little 12-year-old shit-for-a-brain.

Win-win.

Oh, and then you get to keep your shit.

Win-win-win.

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

As it turns out, you can!

Ok, physically, you can, the same way you can shoot some random person. I meant that it's not right.

the kid committed fraud to get the game in the first place. is it really stealing to take back something that was stolen from you?

Kagera

Djiem wrote: »

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

What law says you can't?

Djiem

Kagera wrote: »

Djiem wrote: »

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

What law says you can't?

Since when is it legal to steal?
And he didn't commit any fraud if he did get his stolen.

BlueBlue

Kagera wrote: »

Djiem wrote: »

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

What law says you can't?

Where do you live where it is legal to steal as long as it's from minors?

Kagera

Djiem wrote: »

Kagera wrote: »

Djiem wrote: »

You can't just take stuff from kids like that.

What law says you can't?

Since when is it legal to steal?
And he didn't commit any fraud if he did get his stolen.

Since when is reclaiming gifted property given under false pretenses stealing?

Djiem

What false pretenses?

EDIT: Also, if he's pawning the game for a PSP, well fine. He got his game stolen apparently and out of pity you gave him 10$ to buy a PSP with. Once you've given something, it's given. It doesn't matter what he does with it. Do you stalk everyone you give Xmas gifts to make sure they "properly" utilize the item you have them?

If you find that what the kid did is dickish (I do), just don't give that kid anything from now on. But if you give things, you're as expected to give them without caring what the use is going to be as people are expected to be grateful. I don't remember the last time I gave a gift and told the person: If you don't appreciate it enough, I'm taking it back.