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The Football (Soccer) Thread: I hollerd lordy lordy have mercy on me!

Lord Of The PantsLord Of The Pants Registered User regular
edited January 2009 in Debate and/or Discourse
Obligatory Torres is a BAMF picture:
fernando-torres.jpg
We now present the SECOND incarnation of the infamous "soccer" thread.
Now with 100% less Portuguese Bloke who plays for that Manchester team.
What is Football?
Football is a simple game where upon 22 men chase a ball around, and in the end the Germans win.
Wait, isn't that soccer?
Only in backwards countries like the United States and...Australia.
Man, I got so hot for Chelsea, they are my favorite team and Man United fans are piles of sticks!
You sir, can leave our cultured FOOTBALL thread where upon there shall only be the highest of discourse. I present you an example from the last thread of the way gentlemen speak about the game:
Arikado wrote:
Man, Rigobert Song is a fcking moron. He did like 5 things wrong on the play that let Egypt win.

Okay, maybe not then. But just try and remember that everyone has different opinions, and just because your team won the League and the Champions League and has that Portugese Winger Fellow, doesn't meant that they are "the best evar" or that we should "suck it."


Mission Statement: In this thread we en devour to:
* Witness trash talk between EvilBob and Lord Of The Pants, as Adelaide sell all their good young players, and as Sydney buy shit old ones.
* Call for the death of Graham Arnold, as he couldn't manage his way out of a wet paper bag.
* NOT debate the strengths and weaknesses of various Arsenal defenders, way to go to wreck a thread.
* Quote Kevin Keeganisms whenever possible. (You can't do any better than a draw away from home.)
* Smile patronizingly as that Irish guy (Tav) tries to engage us in conversation about the Irish league.
* Generally spoil any and every major sporting event that happens in Football. Normally with a thread title change. That's how we roll. We expect you are up with it, so don't whine when the thread title is "Where is your Cultured Portuguese Winger Now?"
* Not listen when people claim the England squad has a left hand side.
* Mention Football Manager, and Football Manager Live at infrequent intervals.
* Talk about our fantasy leagues, in which people will organize soon.
* Not mention any of these following blacklisted players:
Spoiler:
*Continue to post witty youtube clips, like
so:
Fantasy Details

Premier League Fantasy
Spoiler:



And finally, chill out!

Remember: Football is one of those things where you can be right in an argument and still get beaten up.

Oh and you can talk about the MLS. We have no problems with that. Except we're are mostly Europeans and Convicts in this thread.

Lord Of The Pants on
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Posts

  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I think he was disagreeing with your assertion that he wouldn't get tackled in Serie A, not where Hleb wanted to go. Seriously, if you don't want to be tackled hard, Serie A is the last place you'd want to go.

    evilbob wrote: »
    How pretty am I?
    Geth roll 1d10
    Geth wrote: »
    /me rolls 1d10 -> 10 (sum:10)
  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    zeeny wrote: »
    wah wah wah I want to go to Serie A where I won't get tackled!

    You're either new to football or you misspelled La Liga with Seria A.

    Didn't he have AC Milan in mind at the end of last season? Forgive me if I don't keep up with every whim of that whiny, overated prick.
    Spoiler:

    Yeah, what evilbob said.
    Also, I thought that you may have made a genuine mistake as Hleb did name Barca as his preferred move.

    http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_3792213,00.html

  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Hmm, guess he has changed his mind. I guess after seeing Flamini go to Milan he decided they weren't hip enough for him any more.

    Serie A seriously has hard tackling? Really? The league where everyone walks for the first 75 minutes of every game? I admit I don't watch much of it (because Five's coverage is shockingly bad. Hot Italian girl who can't speak english? Check! John Barnes on commentary? Check! Chappers from Radio One? Check! Just fucking awful), but I've never seen anything resembling the kind of intensity of tackling we see in the Premiership.

    Italians are good defenders because they're disciplined, intelligent and athletic. They aren't the british hard-man types who will kick you to shit for having the nerve to go past them.

  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I humbly disagree. I find the Seria A football at least as fast and probably more physically demanding than the EPL. The concentration of offensive talent right now certainly makes English football more attractive, but hard tackling is exactly part of the charm of the Seria.
    That discussion reminded me of the Taribo West tackle vs Kanchelskis from ages ago, but unfortunately I can't find a clip of it on the internet;o(((

    Edit:
    Italians are good defenders because they're disciplined, intelligent and athletic. They aren't the british hard-man types who will kick you to shit for having the nerve to go past them.

    Also, I don't know where that comes from, but my guess is taht's something that only you British believe. Spaniards & British have a soft defenders reputation pretty much all around Europe.

  • TavTav Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Now that's just mean....why...why would you do that?;o)
    Dude, also had that scary look when he was about to tackle somebody......those were the days....OF MADNESS.

  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    zeeny wrote: »
    Italians are good defenders because they're disciplined, intelligent and athletic. They aren't the british hard-man types who will kick you to shit for having the nerve to go past them.

    Also, I don't know where that comes from, but my guess is taht's something that only you British believe. Spaniards & British have a soft defenders reputation pretty much all around Europe.

    Like I said, I don't watch Serie A often, but I've never seen anything to contradict the popular (british) opinion of it being a far more tentative, patient, cultured game than we have over here. More quality, less fucking about.

    But the fucking about's the entertaining part.

    What exactly do you mean by soft? If you mean shit, then I agree. British (and Spanish) defenders are well worth their reputations as a largely incompetent bunch. Doesn't mean they're not going to dive in and close down and hack Mikel Arteta's legs from under him once every 15.4 seconds.

    Continental football is more of a chess match, particularly in Serie A. The intensity of the english game is what frightens off a lot of players.

    (Yes, there are some Italian defenders with epic mean streaks to them. But they're usually cast as pantomime villains in the strange intertextual meta-narrative of Alessandro Del Piero's life)

  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    How pretty am I?
    Geth roll 1d10
    Geth wrote: »
    /me rolls 1d10 -> 10 (sum:10)
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Yes, there are some Italian defenders with epic mean streaks to them... pantomime villains.

  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    What exactly do you mean by soft? If you mean shit, then I agree. British (and Spanish) defenders are well worth their reputations as a largely incompetent bunch.

    I meant soft as in "Most likely to admire skill instead of making the guy sorry he even tried to pull that shit on them". I wouldn't go as far as saying they are incompetent(well, some Spanish ones are.....), as both countries & leagues have superb players on every position. However, if you want HARD tackles & defending, you go to Italy.
    Last thing I could bring to the table:
    EPL 07/08 - Total Yellow cards: 1201 Red Cards: 61(38)
    Calcio 07/08 - Total Yellow cards: 1721 Red Cards: 116(76)
    I really, really, really don't think that such a difference can be made up from referee strictness.

    I have nothing more to add to the argument, but saying you should give the Seria A another chance. I have a shitload of English friends and every time I try to get them to watch a Calcio match with me the answer is "Zzzzzzzzzz....". There was a very low scoring, tactical period in the Calacio at the start of the 2000's, but now it has moved on,(scoring is about .10 per match less than the EPL on the season) and the pace is definitely there.

  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    zeeny wrote: »
    I really, really, really don't think that such a difference can be made up from referee strictness.

    Really? There is world of difference between refereeing in the Premiership and Champions league, for example, with a whole host of things being different as far as allowed-not allowed goes (to the extent that it's all Mark Lawrenson can usually talk about in commentary).

    Now I don't know where Serie A currently stands on that scale, but it's certainly possible.

    There's far more protection for players by referees in some environments. just look at the Euros. Every single bloody corner had to be held up for the referee to tell the players to stop touching each other. In the Premiership that doesn't happen unless somebody's throwing down (or gone down, like that pussy John T- oh wait I'm not allowed to talk about him).

    That probably should have been my original point re: fuck you Hleb. The precious snowflake wants protection from the Paul Scholes, Jon Obi Mikels and Joey Bartons of the world. Figures he'll get it in italy (or, if I'm keeping up with the news, Spain)

    Actual physical levels may well be the same.

  • TavTav Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    Matterazi being tentative, patient and cultured.

    <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Yes, well spotted, the cards number could be based on internal league directives to referees.

  • ChenChen Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Wasn't there some bloke who described defending in the Premiership as flinging your body in front of the ball to block the shot? I thought that was amusing. FOR KING AND COUNTRY.

    l8kt.png
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    It's pretty much true. We tend to just stick the biggest blokes at the back because there's more chance they'll get in the way.

  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Yes, there are some Italian defenders with epic mean streaks to them... pantomime villains.
    That's not really how they're characterised at all, except for by people like you who don't watch Serie A. The Matterazis and Gattusos aren't that uncommon.

    evilbob wrote: »
    How pretty am I?
    Geth roll 1d10
    Geth wrote: »
    /me rolls 1d10 -> 10 (sum:10)
  • thanimationsthanimations Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    The few matches of Serie A I've had a chance to watch I've liked, but unfortunately US programming is terrible for anything not MLS, EPL, or US Men's. I'd have to break down and order GolTV to see much more.

  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    Yes, there are some Italian defenders with epic mean streaks to them... pantomime villains.
    That's not really how they're characterised at all, except for by people like you who don't watch Serie A. The Matterazis and Gattusos aren't that uncommon.

    Hey, I'm not really going to argue with you (just bored and haven't got anything better to do than wax philosophical about footy nonsense), but I'm going to suggest you're wrong.

    The hard-tackling no nonsense bastards in Serie A are like pantomime villains. They're just as strong and vicious as anyone, but because you're allowed to do a lot less on the continent, they're always on the wrong end of yellow and red cards.

    Uh oh, it's Materazzi, what's he going to do this time! etc. etc.

    Over here everyone tackles hard and gets stuck in (except the few precious flowers every team has), and far less is punished. The only players we have on the same level of infamy are the guys who genuinely can't tackle, like the aforementioned Scholes and Mikel, who will almost always get i trouble when they go to ground, and guys who have been/are in jail who are just violent bastards all round.

  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    This whole argument is just going back & forth. I don't see a criteria by which we could convince each other.
    I can't agree with your view of Italian defenders as it's opinion based, not factual. We should have some match threads during the season and see if we can agree then.
    zeeny: what is your opinion?
    zeeny: (I mean as in harder tackles, more physical etc.)
    Rich: hmmmm
    zeeny: also, why the fuck does the Calcio have such a bad rep over there?
    zeeny: in your silly island nation.
    Rich: I think english players are more phyical in a challenge, but I think the italians are dirtier

    ...meh, you islanders are all the same....

  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    I've actually changed my stance at least once already so far.

    Like most football fans, I feel the most important thing is to be putting forth an opinion. It doesn't have to be right, or make sense, or maintain any sort of consistency.

    Like english refereeing.

  • themightypuckthemightypuck MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    The few matches of Serie A I've had a chance to watch I've liked, but unfortunately US programming is terrible for anything not MLS, EPL, or US Men's. I'd have to break down and order GolTV to see much more.

    You can watch Serie A on ESPN 360 for free. I tend not to because Chelsea doesn't play in Serie A (although they've got Ranieri and Mourinho.)

    “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius
  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    How pretty am I?
    Geth roll 1d10
    Geth wrote: »
    /me rolls 1d10 -> 10 (sum:10)
  • PantsBPantsB Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    Here is a yellow card in Serie A

    Here's one more representative

    11793-1.png
    Spoiler:
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    evilbob wrote: »

    Pretty cartwheel, but the tackle itself wasn't particularly bad. No studs raised, clearly making an attempt at the ball and not denying a clear goalscoring oppurtunity (being so far out, and not the last man).

    Yellow card.
    Spoiler:

  • themightypuckthemightypuck MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    PantsB wrote: »
    evilbob wrote: »
    Here is a yellow card in Serie A

    Here's one more representative

    Haha. That's one of the best I've seen.

    “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius
  • themightypuckthemightypuck MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    All this talk has reminded me how Chelsea was a PK away from winning the CL. And lost it. It's like when we sucked and beat Barca in the CL at home by like a billion goals and then Romario scored a zillion on the second leg. Or Monaco. Best CL goal ever though was JT scoring against Barca to get a shot at a shitty Liverpool side we ended up losing to (and who ended up being not so shitty).

    “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    No one cares about Chelsea's 'problems'. Stop bringing them up.

    Wah, wah we haven't won anything significant in the last 12 months oh woe is us!

    If you weren't all glory supporters you wouldn't need constant trophies to reassure you that you chose the bestest team to support, and deal with it like the rest of us do.

    Year in, year out.
    Spoiler:

  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Football is a simple game where upon 22 men chase a ball around, and in the end the Germans win.

    This quote wins.

    Games completed recently: Resident Evil 4: HD Edition, Typing of the Dead: Overkill, Sleeping Dogs, Dishonored, On the Rain Precipice of Darkness 1-4.
  • ChenChen Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Actually... Spain won. :rotate:

    l8kt.png
  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User
    edited July 2008
    All of this Liverpool hate from the first page... :( :( :( :( :(

    Guys, for serious, Liverpool is a good team.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIlPs20Ww_E&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWw5b9hBZhk
    (This video of Liverpool v. Barca was the game that made me decide to follow Liverpool)

    I mean, for real. They come back in so many situations where they really shouldn't, and that is AWESOME. And to beat Barcelona? That's no easy task.


    P.S.: Pants, <3 for the lack of Christiano Ronaldo pictures on the OP.

    Join Penny-Arcaders in EPL Fantasy Futbol! Click to see details.
    Spoiler:
  • ChenChen Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Have you seen the Champions League 2005 final? Now that was sheer madness on Liverpool's part.

    l8kt.png
  • I Am Not A BearI Am Not A Bear Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Liverpool are laughable.

    "We'll win the league this year, boys. But we'll try and do it by dropping points against all our immediate rivals."

  • themightypuckthemightypuck MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    ...drivel...
    Spoiler:

    “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius
  • I Am Not A BearI Am Not A Bear Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Also,

    BvB for life.

  • Lord Of The PantsLord Of The Pants Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    2005... I seem to recall Tomasson coming on and shredding liverpool up. He should have gotten on the pitch earlier imho. *WARNING DANISH BIAS*

    steam_sig.png
  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Chen wrote: »
    Have you seen the Champions League 2005 final? Now that was sheer madness on Liverpool's part.

    That's the first video that I posted. I wish I had been watching that game.

    And Bear, what are you talking about? Did Liverpool actually decide to do that? Or did they just happen to lose?

    Let me open up here and say this:
    I would say that Manchester United is a better team than Liverpool. But seriously, it seems like EVERYBODY likes ManU that I'd rather support someone else... it makes it more fun that way. I think Chelsea just buys talent way too much.

    I also really enjoy Arsenal... they're my second favorite club... beautiful football. Anyways, I think I digress a little bit, and for that I apologize.

    Join Penny-Arcaders in EPL Fantasy Futbol! Click to see details.
    Spoiler:
  • Lord Of The PantsLord Of The Pants Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    But team penis comparing isn't what this is about. It's about the sexy futbol!

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  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I support Manchester United because just about all of my family over in England does.

    evilbob wrote: »
    How pretty am I?
    Geth roll 1d10
    Geth wrote: »
    /me rolls 1d10 -> 10 (sum:10)
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Every football fan over here who wasn't born in a major footballing city is a Man Utd fan. Just the way it goes.
    Spoiler:

  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Australia is largely full of Liverpool supporters. It sucks so bad.

    Edit: The Chelsea fans here are pretty cool, most of them are actually from London, or at least been following them for a long time before Abramovich. There's a few though that are fucking clueless.

    evilbob wrote: »
    How pretty am I?
    Geth roll 1d10
    Geth wrote: »
    /me rolls 1d10 -> 10 (sum:10)
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