Roommate + GFs Parents + My Apartment = Right Now

Buddy Lee

SE++, my roommate cooked dinner for his girlfriend and her parents. They're over in my apartment right now. He made them some disgusting looking chicken-in-spaghetti-sauce stuff and served it over spaghetti. It looks like high school cafeteria spaghetti sauce.

He didn't even give me a heads up. I want to watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann or something. Damn it.

I keep thinking of things that I can do to just make it awkward... SE++, what kind of silly situations can you think of to make this situation awesomely awkward?

-EDIT-
Haha, he doesn't have any salt or pepper. Or Parmesan cheese.

Wiley

Stare at the mother continuously and rub your crotch while doing it.

vsove

Yell out '[Room-mate's name], it's mutual masturbation time.'

Buddy Lee

They're already here. They're at the table eating right now.

-EDIT-
Guys, I think maybe I should not make myself look bad... maybe it's time for them to find out how much of a douchebag their daughter's boyfriend is?

Wiley

Wait till they're eating then come up to him all sweaty and ask if you can borrow his astro-glide.

Ah. If you don't wanna look bad just point out all of his flaws to the parents. Tell them your conscience won't allow you to remain quiet.

Clint Eastwood

Touch his girlfriend's hair while drooling.

A Dabble Of Thelonius

Ask if he got that rash taken care of.

Clint Eastwood

"Roommate, I gotta take a leak, and my dick isn't gonna shake itself"

Vorus

go ask where the bowl you puked into last night is and then stare at the spaghetti bowl

Mr. Henry Bemis

walk out without a shirt on and make normal conversation just alternately rub one of your nipples and your belly the whole time

Buddy Lee

Vorus wrote: »

go ask where the bowl you puked into last night is and then stare at the spaghetti bowl

Haha, this is probably the best so far.

HallowedFaith

Have someone call your phone and then pretend to be telling your girlfriend that she is going to get that abortion or you're going to do it for her.

Really loud.

A Dabble Of Thelonius

Look. I have an elaborate plan but it hinges on recruiting three Bosnian gymnasts.

Clint Eastwood

Get up on top of the table and soak your nutsack in vinegar. Just squat there for a while and then be like "Oh, I didn't see you guys!" and go back to your room. Leave the vinegar on the table.

Mr. Henry Bemis

walk out with your pet in your arms and say "where's the peanut butter, i'm horny"

Fishman

"So you're Katie's parent's, huh?"

"Haley's. Our daughter's name is Haley."

"Huh. I thought Monday was Katie's day."

A Dabble Of Thelonius

Wait for a lull in the conversation and look over at your roomate and his girlfriend and ask "So are you guys going to tell them tonight?" Afterwards ask flustered and try to awkwardly take it back. All the while apologizing to the parents.

Buddy Lee

Fishman wrote: »

"So you're Katie's parent's, huh?"

"Haley's. Our daughter's name is Haley."

"Huh. I thought Monday was Katie's day."

NICE!!!

bsjezz

man go get a beer somewhere

Sara Lynn

Fishman wrote: »

"So you're Katie's parent's, huh?"

"Haley's. Our daughter's name is Haley."

"Huh. I thought Monday was Katie's day."

thisthisthisthis

Vann Diras

Fishman wrote: »

"So you're Katie's parent's, huh?"

"Haley's. Our daughter's name is Haley."

"Huh. I thought Monday was Katie's day."

this right here is the correct answer

vsove

Buddy Lee wrote: »

Fishman wrote: »

"So you're Katie's parent's, huh?"

"Haley's. Our daughter's name is Haley."

"Huh. I thought Monday was Katie's day."

NICE!!!

Do you have your passport ready? Good.

After doing this, leave the country, because your roommate will be out for your blood.

Buddy Lee

bsjezz wrote: »

man go get a beer somewhere

Probably the best idea, but I really hadn't planned on going out tonight. I wanted to spend the evening in my apartment relaxing. Fucking roommate.

Wiley

Let them hear you ask him when his girlfriend is gonna be there.

Edit: didn't see the advice above, which is much better.

vsove

Yell from your room 'Hey [Roommate], do you think three sticks of butter will be enough for the orgy? Or do you want me to buy more?' then walk out and act shocked that the girlfriend and her parents are still there.

Lucky Cynic

Just eat your dinner all calm, and then just out of nowhere say Labia.


Or Hymen.

Fandyien

You guys have all these intricate plans

Just say something crass and maybe take the last piece of bread

If they look hungry bite it, look disgusted, and throw it away

Qorzm

ask if they are her grandparents

Buddy Lee

They have already seen me in the apartment. I was finishing my dinner (since he didn't invite me to eat with them) and watching TV. Then they started eating. So I just came into my room.

Fucker didn't even invite me to eat with them.

George Fornby Grill

Fandyien wrote: »

You guys have all these intricate plans

Just say something crass and maybe take the last piece of bread

If they look hungry bite it, look disgusted, and throw it away

That is the rudest thing.

Buddy Lee

Qorzm wrote: »

ask if they are her grandparents

Yessss!!!

Polago

Nerf or nothin'

Wiley

Casually let it slip that you were surprised at how old she was, he usually likes them younger.

A Dabble Of Thelonius

Tell them all a longwinded story about an internet forum that turned on itself in an orgy of hate and dick jokes. Use as many names as possible.

vsove

Buddy Lee wrote: »

Qorzm wrote: »

ask if they are her grandparents

Yessss!!!

Then when they say 'no, we're her parents' say 'oh, my roommate said her mother was really hot and he'd - uhh - nevermind.'

simo

i wouldn't invite my roommate to a dinner with my girlfriend and parents either

Metzger Meister

"Dude, she looks JUST like your sister. Seriously, it's fucking uncanny."

J3p

Say grace maybe in an awkward way

Wiley

Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

Buddy Lee

simo wrote: »

i wouldn't invite my roommate to a dinner with my girlfriend and parents either

Would you at least give your roommate a heads up about it?

vsove

Wiley wrote: »

Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

right up until he makes you a delicious steak dinner to make up for it.

and after you finish you suddenly realize the error of your ways.