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Debate and Discourse: AWESOME POST in "No [chat]ting!", by Drez

DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
edited August 2008 in [2008-2012] Awesome Posts?
DeShadowC has reported a post.

Reason:
Maybe not the most awesome thing, but it made me laugh at a customer while reading it.
Forum: Debate and Discourse
Post: No [chat]ting!
Posted by: Drez


Original Content:
Richy wrote: »
Tav wrote: »
Drez wrote: »
Tav wrote: »
Drez wrote: »
I thought Ireland was perpetual drinking and eating potatoes.

How do you drink a potato?

You've obviously never heard of poteen.

No, thank God. In fact, I've stricken your post from my memory so even now I still haven't heard of it.

POTATO WHISKEY MADE IN THE MOUNTAINS THAT TURNS YOU BLIND.
That sounds like a location in the middle of a quest in an old fantasy book. "Follow the abandoned path across the plains of death, through the mountains that turn you blind, and over the river of disemboweled souls. It's a shortcut. Much faster than that new four-lane highway they just opened up."


Hmm.
> Take potato
Potato: Taken.

> Up
[B]Mountain Pass[/B]

You have entered the Mountain Pass.  You can see a still to the North.  Behind you, to the South, is the base of the mountain.

> West
Do you want to jump off the cliff?

> No
Okay.

> North
[B]Outside Potato Whiskey Still[/B]

You have arrived at an abandoned still.  Inside you can see a Frobozz-O-Matic Potato Whiskey Maker Machine 2000 inside the still.

Your elvish sword glows faintly blue.

> In
(Opening the still door.)

[B]Inside Potato Whiskey Still[/B]

You have entered the potato whiskey still.  On one table is a the Frobozz-O-Matic Potato Whiskey Maker Machine 2000.  You notice an orc sitting in one corner eating crumpets and sipping tea.

Your elvish sword glows bright blue.

> i

You are carrying:

- a torch
- a magical elvish sword which is glowing bright blue
- a potato
- a Betty Crocker recipe book
- a treatise
- a leaflet
- a clove of garlic
- a spellbook
- a parser nymph
- a voodoo-cursed, shrunken, petrified Zen Vulgarity
- a magical dwarven uzi
- a towel

> Make potato whiskey
(With potato.)

You approach the Frobozz-O-Matic Potato Whiskey Maker Machine 2000 and put the potato in the machine.  Immediately, the machine comes to life and in less than a minute, a paper cup containing potato whiskey materializes in front of the machine on the table.

> Take whiskey

You take the whiskey.  Suddenly, the orc leaps up and smashes you in both eyes with an uneaten crumpet.  You are blind.

Yep, you're right. Potato whiskey causes blindness.

DeShadowC on

Posts

  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Well I didn't see that coming. Four stars.

    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef -- League VODS: Twitch or YouTube
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  • KreutzKreutz Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The RPG post is becoming distressingly popular amongst those with nothing to say.

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Kreutz wrote: »
    The RPG post is becoming distressingly popular amongst those with nothing to say.

    a) Interactive Fiction, which this emulated, is not an "RPG."

    b) I cannot claim to have started this or anything, but I've been posting this kind of thing very sporadically since before you even had an account here.

    c) You're a talentless fuckface.

    steam_sig.png
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Drez wrote: »
    Kreutz wrote: »
    The RPG post is becoming distressingly popular amongst those with nothing to say.

    a) Interactive Fiction, which this emulated, is not an "RPG."

    b) I cannot claim to have started this or anything, but I've been posting this kind of thing very sporadically since before you even had an account here.

    c) You're a talentless fuckface.

    I'm also confused as to how he thinks you have/had nothing to say. You actually commented a lot on that topic.

  • TL DRTL DR Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Drez wrote: »
    Kreutz wrote: »
    The RPG post is becoming distressingly popular amongst those with nothing to say.

    a) Interactive Fiction, which this emulated, is not an "RPG."

    b) I cannot claim to have started this or anything, but I've been posting this kind of thing very sporadically since before you even had an account here.

    c) You're a talentless fuckface.

    Tempted to doubleawesome this thread. Because it is doubleawesome. Perhaps even doubleplusawesome, but then the Party should decide that, of course.

    eokNV.jpg
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY EVERY DAYRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    it's no blunt quest but i enjoyed it

    xcomsig.png
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Don't call kruetz a fuckface, I think he feeds on that shit.

    You see a Kruetz.
    > I hit the kruetz over the head |

    It is the internet.
    > Fuck |

    I know right.
    > |

    sig-1.jpg
  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    edited August 2008
    Kreutz wrote: »
    The RPG post is becoming distressingly popular amongst those with nothing to say.

    Not as popular as "this post sucks!" has become with people like you, who contribute nothing, have no purpose and are beloved by no one.

    If you'd like an anime thread, please PM me to discuss it. Include pics/video of your favorites.
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Can we make it an infractable offense Tube?

  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Snerkywizards Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    That's actually a pretty damn good post and I enjoyed reading it. I would do so again, 5*.

    PIZTDhW.jpg
  • ScrubletScrublet Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Drez wrote: »
    c) You're a talentless fuckface.

    This is like pissing on someone you've beaten unconscious. Totally unnecessary. But then so totally necessary at the same time.

    subedii wrote: »
    I hear PC gaming is huge off the coast of Somalia right now.
  • Satan.Satan. __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    it is a solid piece of work.

    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    JAEF wrote: »
    Well I didn't see that coming.

    To much Poteen.

  • YarYar Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Kreutz wrote: »
    The RPG post is becoming distressingly popular amongst those with nothing to say.

    Not as popular as "this post sucks!" has become with people like you, who contribute nothing, have no purpose and are beloved by no one.
    Man it is so cliche and repetitive these days for admins to post about posts that post about other posts.

  • ForarForar #432 Already prepping for Toronto Fan Expo!Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Can we make it an infractable offense Tube?

    We'd decimate the forums if that ever happened.

    sigone.png
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Forar wrote: »
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Can we make it an infractable offense Tube?

    We'd decimate the forums if that ever happened.

    I'm only talking about in the awesome posts forum.

  • ForarForar #432 Already prepping for Toronto Fan Expo!Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Forar wrote: »
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Can we make it an infractable offense Tube?

    We'd decimate the forums if that ever happened.

    I'm only talking about in the awesome posts forum.

    Why would we ever ban it here? It's so very often true!

    Although I do prefer the "Boo, get off the stage" approach.

    sigone.png
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Well the sticky on the top does say don't be a dick. I think thread shitting constantly on threads people find awesome qualifies as that.

  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Well the sticky on the top does say don't be a dick. I think thread shitting constantly on threads people find awesome qualifies as that.

    I was saying this when it was underground.

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