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more like sassper.
wow, and I thought I had gone a while.
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Eh, it is what it is
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Anyways we are at my place and she is giving me porn star grade head. Full on messy and fast like she is some sort of professional. Half way through her phone rings. She digs through her pocket with one hand while still messaging with her other hand and sucking away. She brings the phone up to her face to see who it is. After looking at it for a second she mumbles to me with dick in her mouth "ish mm dad." All I could understand was "Dad" so naturally I assume fun time is going to have to stop and she will have to talk to daddy.
She answers the phone, my dick in hand, pumping furiously. She proceeds to talk to her dad while wacking me off like its her sport of choice. She will say something into the phone, hear her dad start to talk and then give me head while he did. This went on for about five minutes and then she hung up, looked me in the eyes from down on her knees, and said "I'm just a committed person," burps, and proceeds without another breath.
Not bad sex, but a story none the less.
I remember riding in a morning rush hour train headed into Tokyo (meaning it was packed so fucking hard), and this salaryman is doing his best to read his magazine. He's positioned in a way that he has to have his arm over the shoulder of this poor office lady with his hand clutching some horrifying sex comic right in front of her face. They read the lewdest shit in comics, and their animus have some awful rape and tentacle and all that shit, but when all is said and done, there's a terribly low rate of sex crimes compared to the US (and a terribly high rate of super ultra mega hyper sayan fucked up porn compared to the US).
hey, i don't remember saying that
but i can't refute it
You already have, Janson. You already have.
I see. So by carrying out these seemingly harmless rape fantasies, they in turn don't feel the desire to go out and rape someone for reals, thus reducing the rate of sex crimes? ingenious
Well it's hard to rape someoen if you have to conventrate your Chi for 5 hours
Yeah I guess reading about it and jacking off thinking about it keeps them from doing it for real.
There was this one case where this guy who had been killing children (I can't remember if sex was involved) was caught and inside his apartment there were tons of those gory slasher comics. Like, stack to the ceiling and shit, all over the place. That was the one case that it happened, and afterwards people were like "omg look at what awful things pornography is doing".
Look people, dude was clearly off his rocker anyway.
Then they say stuff like "We'll i'm tired, but if you want to do it I'm just not going to be too into it."
In which case one of two things happens: A)You don't do anything because it's too much work or B) You try to go at it and slowly are just less and less into because you feel like you're getting nowhere and not performing well
Last night was B for me
why would you want sex with someone who doesn't really want it?
Eventually, the girl breaks up with me, twice. This is because she is my first girlfriend and I am an idiot. Anyway, I started talking to her again about six months after she broke up with me for the second time (a week before my birthday). During this six months, she had slept with twelve guys, after making me wait a year. I'm pretty sure anyone who frequented Flying Stove a couple years back could tell you what an idiot I was.
My first time, I think the condom was too small or something, because my dong was in pain for most of the venture. I think I might have faked it just to get out of there. For the next week or two my dong was pretty sore.
As a sidenote, both of my girlfriend's parents yelled at them for breaking up with me.
wow, that is horrible.
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oh god
So my second girlfriend breaks up with me because she has this weird inferiority complex and I'm being too nice to her. She's talking to me on AIM, asking if there's anything she can do to make the break better. Jokingly, I say "A going away blowjob!" She says "Really? Okay."
if there was anything I could beat my younger self for, it's that.
Seriously. Twenty years old and she's dating a sixteen year old and living at home.
Hahaha I remember this.
Diamond cutters.
"I thought your vagina just tasted like pennies today."
It runs out eventually, but her arm is gonna be pretty damn tired before that happens.
same.
man, you two are pretty tame if you think that's the worst.
You have no idea what the worst could be.
poop comes out
Never been worried about poop on dick, it all washes off. It's when you have a tooth embedded in your dick that I kinda draw the line though.
Alright, how exactly can we guys fake an orgasm?
Like, there is a pretty obvious visual cue if a guy just came or not that is sorta hard to fake
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I'd be worried if someones butt had teeth