I may only be a pool of slop in a tube; but folks, this kind of hatred will only tear us apart! Can't set aside our differences and join together for the common good - of kicking these aliens off of our planet?!
USERACCOUNT: RogueKnight PASSWORD : ^^^^^^^ AFTER ACTION REPORT COMPLETE - DO YOU WISH TO SAVE? -- YES
LOGGING OFF
Amendmendum to report: Recommend that RogueKnight be placed in the tank for all future missions. The VR link is so wonky he couldn't even tell what killed him.
Oh and Private? I WAS going to cut you a check, but you BROKE ALL THB FUCKING SNIPER RIFLES. The fact that they weren't labeled yet doesn't mean you get to prank them all, maggot! Learn to aim instead of fucking with everyone else's aim or your next 'tank' will be a cardboard box. Clear?
*Salutes* Clear Sir!
I am in so much trouble. I won't break the next tank, I can't - The Commander will have me as Zen's bullet magnet when he starts charging stuff again.. I'll have to stick near PFC Food, he'll keep me alive.
They started cloning mrsnackroad earlier. That process doesn't look pretty and the smell....
And I'm going to have to sit in the Tank next time.... I wonder if I can fit my mini-fridge in the Tank Cabin. Worst comes to worst I could get a shopping bag worth of stuff in I suppose. I'll have a check when the next tank arrives... Maybe I'll take the Commander up on the Carboard Box offer, it would give something to store the food in till I rig up the Fridge...
Speaking of- everything is quiet for a few days, letting research on Laser Technology completes. That opens up Laser Pistols and Medkits. (don't ask why the medkits are laser-tech. You don't want to know.). For now, we'll head for laser pistols. We also have:
Larve (dead)
Chaser (dead)
Advanced Cannon
Scout (alien ship)
Sectoid (dead)
and Sensor Bomb
available, if anyone wants to suggest a different track.
Starting with Lasers sounds like a plan Sir! *Salute*
Sounds like too much fun to pass up. See317 enlisting, if I can get a rocket launcher and a pocket full of hand grenades, I'll be a happy little killing machine.
Alternatively give me a flame thrower, and I'll be forced to taste any alien I toast to insure that it's evenly cooked all the way through. Also, endless requisition forms for spices.
SanderJK signing up, because he heard there were job openings recently. He's a bit scared by the large amount of weeping people at the door of the facility, but eh. The guys who died were probably losers.
Which end of the gun is the one you point at aliens again?
Those cocksuckers over in command are calling me Private First Class Food these days. They say I should feel honored but the truth is I could give a flying fuck about their ranks and medals. I signed on to tear some aliens a second asshole, and that's what I did. I told that to the doctor and he says that depending on the species I'd actually be tearing a third or fourth asshole. Fucking nerd.
I should be ready to suit up again in a few days. I can't wait. I realized something on my last mission. These aliens aren't like us. When I saw that Sectoid piece of shit staring down his barrel at me, I didn't see even a hint of feeling inside those creepy ass oversized eyes.
I heard about those hippie mother fuckers who are demonstrating back in the capital. They say we should be making peace with these aliens. They think we should all sit in a circle holding hands and sing koombayah. They wouldn't be saying that if they saw the report from the last mission. 8 men went in and only one came out with all his limbs intact. Poor bastard was promoted to private.
To these aliens we humans are nothing but shit stains on this planet. All they want is to wipe us out. Well maybe they will. Maybe the human race really is doomed. Doesn't matter to me. These missions are suicide anyway. Probably a week from now I'll be a dead man, but I'll be a happy one just as long as I take a fuck load of those alien bastards with me.
CindersWhose sails were black when it was windyRegistered Userregular
edited September 2008
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
BlitzAce1981 on
PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 FFXIV - Raiden Solitaire (Sargatanas)
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CindersWhose sails were black when it was windyRegistered Userregular
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Why do you think we "executed" the alien we captured?
Carcharodontosaurus on
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CindersWhose sails were black when it was windyRegistered Userregular
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Why do you think we "executed" the alien we captured?
We do eat a lot, don't we. Then again there were over 40 of us redshirts last time I checked. I think the better question is where do we all sleep? There are only like 10 beds in the entire base.
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Why do you think we "executed" the alien we captured?
We do eat a lot, don't we. Then again there were over 40 of us redshirts last time I checked. I think the better question is where do we all sleep? There are only like 10 beds in the entire base.
Hmmm.
Dibs on the shuttle for sleeping!
Man, I've been sleeping in the alien containment room. The dissection/torture table is actually really comfy, and as long as I remember to unplug the control console I can sleep soundly without my organs being forcibly ripped from my body.
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Why do you think we "executed" the alien we captured?
We do eat a lot, don't we. Then again there were over 40 of us redshirts last time I checked. I think the better question is where do we all sleep? There are only like 10 beds in the entire base.
Hmmm.
Dibs on the shuttle for sleeping!
Man, I've been sleeping in the alien containment room. The dissection/torture table is actually really comfy, and as long as I remember to unplug the control console I can sleep soundly without my organs being forcibly ripped from my body.
It's working well so far. 8-)
sicko! o_O
looks like you guys are off to a great start. lots of casualties on both sides. can't wait for the next slaughter.
Phoenix, great lets play! Only request I have is would you mind giving us an overview of the in between mission screens. I'd kind of like to see more of the rock we're going to die for.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Why do you think we "executed" the alien we captured?
We do eat a lot, don't we. Then again there were over 40 of us redshirts last time I checked. I think the better question is where do we all sleep? There are only like 10 beds in the entire base.
Hmmm.
Dibs on the shuttle for sleeping!
Man, I've been sleeping in the alien containment room. The dissection/torture table is actually really comfy, and as long as I remember to unplug the control console I can sleep soundly without my organs being forcibly ripped from my body.
It's working well so far. 8-)
sicko! o_O
looks like you guys are off to a great start. lots of casualties on both sides. can't wait for the next slaughter.
This should be really entertaining when someone sneaks in and reactivates the rectal probulator while he's asleep.
Speaking of continuing, here we go! Shorter update tonight, I feel like crap warmed over. Sorry. Because the transport barely got home AGAIN, we have some more recruiting to do. EIGHT of them, to be specific. That means Nocren, ben0207, Carch, KapsLocked, Raiden333, kedinik, wabbiteh, Behemoth. Say "Hi guys!"
...pay no mind to Nocren, he's just sulking because his gun isn't ready yet. I gave him a rifle/shotgun combo to compensation, sort of.
Phoenix-D on
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
edited September 2008
Fine... I guess Charlene's sister, Marla will have to do.
A few days pass without incident, letting the Alien Containment finish up. Soon after, the Workshop does too...of course, we don't have any PLANS to build yet, but hey! That actually finishes out the month, and our overlords are mildly pleased with the death toll. Except for Patria.
Hmm. I think that one research lab we shot up was in Patria.
A day or two later, and JOY! New guns!
Of course, these aren't as good as X-Com's laser guns; they need batteries. Better than what we've got though, so the workshop goes to cranking them out while the eggheads turn to a rifle version.
Another Lab finishes soon after, and still no contact with the aliens. Maybe the blood bath scared them away, maybe they're off dicking with the other side of the planet.
Laser Rifle research takes only a week. By this time we've got enough pistols to replace all the current ones, so we switch production over to that while directing research into Heavy Lasers to quiet Nocren's bitching.
Finally, nearly a day later, another UFO is detected to the north, near Patria.
It flies down south, and the Raptors knock it down just as it passes onto the main continent. PFC Food and his shiny new Laser Rifle load up, along with his contingent of newbies- all the new guys except Nocren, who refuses to board without Charlene.
Behemoth is first off, and takes fire almost right away. He runs forward but doesn't see the firing alien, so wabbiteh moves out- and takes fire from another direction entirely! He can't see anything either.
Stepping forward a little reveals a Larve hidden behind the bushes. He fires, and hits! In a first, it doesn't die. Raiden333 steps up and unloads to save him. Misses entirely. Great job, guys!
Carch puts an end to the foolishness by tossing a grenade. He misses too, but the shrapnel is enough to kill it. Behemoth spots the Larve that shot at him, but doesn't have enough AP to fire. kednik does, but its way out of shotgun range.
Fortunately, there's a solution to that.
Explosives: If it didn't work, you didn't USE ENOUGH. The larve was actually out of throwing range, but still in the blast radius.
Posts
Your avatar combines with that statement wonderfully.
Little from column A, little from column B.
Racially impure!
BURN!
I may only be a pool of slop in a tube; but folks, this kind of hatred will only tear us apart! Can't set aside our differences and join together for the common good - of kicking these aliens off of our planet?!
8-)
*Salutes* Clear Sir!
I am in so much trouble. I won't break the next tank, I can't - The Commander will have me as Zen's bullet magnet when he starts charging stuff again.. I'll have to stick near PFC Food, he'll keep me alive.
They started cloning mrsnackroad earlier. That process doesn't look pretty and the smell....
And I'm going to have to sit in the Tank next time.... I wonder if I can fit my mini-fridge in the Tank Cabin. Worst comes to worst I could get a shopping bag worth of stuff in I suppose. I'll have a check when the next tank arrives... Maybe I'll take the Commander up on the Carboard Box offer, it would give something to store the food in till I rig up the Fridge...
Starting with Lasers sounds like a plan Sir! *Salute*
See317 enlisting, if I can get a rocket launcher and a pocket full of hand grenades, I'll be a happy little killing machine.
Alternatively give me a flame thrower, and I'll be forced to taste any alien I toast to insure that it's evenly cooked all the way through. Also, endless requisition forms for spices.
PSN: Lqmpley | Steam: TheOne(AndOnly)
Heh. This is going to be fun. The game looks quite good, might look for it.
Srsly make me die in a funny and grotesque way.
Which end of the gun is the one you point at aliens again?
(Don't care much what role I get)
Handmade Jewelry by me on EtsyGames for sale
Me on Twitch!
Those cocksuckers over in command are calling me Private First Class Food these days. They say I should feel honored but the truth is I could give a flying fuck about their ranks and medals. I signed on to tear some aliens a second asshole, and that's what I did. I told that to the doctor and he says that depending on the species I'd actually be tearing a third or fourth asshole. Fucking nerd.
I should be ready to suit up again in a few days. I can't wait. I realized something on my last mission. These aliens aren't like us. When I saw that Sectoid piece of shit staring down his barrel at me, I didn't see even a hint of feeling inside those creepy ass oversized eyes.
I heard about those hippie mother fuckers who are demonstrating back in the capital. They say we should be making peace with these aliens. They think we should all sit in a circle holding hands and sing koombayah. They wouldn't be saying that if they saw the report from the last mission. 8 men went in and only one came out with all his limbs intact. Poor bastard was promoted to private.
To these aliens we humans are nothing but shit stains on this planet. All they want is to wipe us out. Well maybe they will. Maybe the human race really is doomed. Doesn't matter to me. These missions are suicide anyway. Probably a week from now I'll be a dead man, but I'll be a happy one just as long as I take a fuck load of those alien bastards with me.
3DSFF: 5026-4429-6577
YOU'RE GOING TO BE TURNED INTO A GELATINOUS PASTE SUBSTANCE FOR EARTH.
God Bless Earth.
Soylent Green is redshirts!
Can't we just eat the dead sectoids instead? I hear they taste like chicken.
Why do you think we "executed" the alien we captured?
We do eat a lot, don't we. Then again there were over 40 of us redshirts last time I checked. I think the better question is where do we all sleep? There are only like 10 beds in the entire base.
Hmmm.
Dibs on the shuttle for sleeping!
Man, I've been sleeping in the alien containment room. The dissection/torture table is actually really comfy, and as long as I remember to unplug the control console I can sleep soundly without my organs being forcibly ripped from my body.
It's working well so far. 8-)
sicko! o_O
looks like you guys are off to a great start. lots of casualties on both sides. can't wait for the next slaughter.
They will! Tomorrow. I did say the updates could be sporadic, and I had other things to do this weekend. Should have updates all this week though.
...pay no mind to Nocren, he's just sulking because his gun isn't ready yet. I gave him a rifle/shotgun combo to compensation, sort of.
Hmm. I think that one research lab we shot up was in Patria.
A day or two later, and JOY! New guns!
Of course, these aren't as good as X-Com's laser guns; they need batteries. Better than what we've got though, so the workshop goes to cranking them out while the eggheads turn to a rifle version.
Another Lab finishes soon after, and still no contact with the aliens. Maybe the blood bath scared them away, maybe they're off dicking with the other side of the planet.
Laser Rifle research takes only a week. By this time we've got enough pistols to replace all the current ones, so we switch production over to that while directing research into Heavy Lasers to quiet Nocren's bitching.
Finally, nearly a day later, another UFO is detected to the north, near Patria.
It flies down south, and the Raptors knock it down just as it passes onto the main continent. PFC Food and his shiny new Laser Rifle load up, along with his contingent of newbies- all the new guys except Nocren, who refuses to board without Charlene.
This time they land in broad daylight.
Stepping forward a little reveals a Larve hidden behind the bushes. He fires, and hits! In a first, it doesn't die. Raiden333 steps up and unloads to save him. Misses entirely. Great job, guys!
Carch puts an end to the foolishness by tossing a grenade. He misses too, but the shrapnel is enough to kill it. Behemoth spots the Larve that shot at him, but doesn't have enough AP to fire. kednik does, but its way out of shotgun range.
Fortunately, there's a solution to that.
Explosives: If it didn't work, you didn't USE ENOUGH. The larve was actually out of throwing range, but still in the blast radius.