The Bastards have landed! [X-Com LP]

Vivixenne

congrats, Karl and Wallhitter

you just got promoted to babysitter

Indie Winter

hey guys, when you get to Ratio, you gotta try some of the hidden codelines we put into the Aiden AI. "Alpha-Romeo-It's Raining Puppy Dogs" is a personal favorite.

Theidar

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

hey guys, when you get to Ratio, you gotta try some of the hidden codelines we put into the Aiden AI. "Alpha-Romeo-It's Raining Puppy Dogs" is a personal favorite.

Incorrect statement proper designation is Aedan.

Theidar

Fortunately he finds your error funny.

Spoiler:

Ivar

Tofystedeth wrote: »

GOD DAMNIT!
Ivar, I want you to have my rockets.

Thanks, but I don't have a rocket launcher. Maybe I'll just throw them really hard at the aliens.

Green

Ivar wrote: »

Tofystedeth wrote: »

GOD DAMNIT!
Ivar, I want you to have my rockets.

Thanks, but I don't have a rocket launcher. Maybe I'll just throw them really hard at the aliens.

But then they just catch them with their mech suits

Indie Winter

Theidar wrote: »

Fortunately he finds your error funny.

Spoiler:

that unit appears far too fleshy for a neural AI. Have you been dipping into the alien morgues again?

Tofystedeth

Ivar wrote: »

Tofystedeth wrote: »

GOD DAMNIT!
Ivar, I want you to have my rockets.

Thanks, but I don't have a rocket launcher. Maybe I'll just throw them really hard at the aliens.

Sorry pal. You'll have to get your own. I want to be buried with mine.

If we ever get zombie soldiers figured out, I need to be ready to rock.

msuitepyon

How effective are shambling meat-puppets, though?

Theidar

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

Theidar wrote: »

Fortunately he finds your error funny.

Spoiler:

that unit appears far too fleshy for a neural AI. Have you been dipping into the alien morgues again?

That is merely his video avatar designed to put humans at ease while standing next to a sentient tank that has minimal frame of reference in common with them.

Indie Winter

Theidar wrote: »

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

Theidar wrote: »

Fortunately he finds your error funny.

Spoiler:

that unit appears far too fleshy for a neural AI. Have you been dipping into the alien morgues again?

That is merely his video avatar designed to put humans at ease while standing next to a sentient tank that has minimal frame of reference in common with them.

...

I'm going to recommend a recount of all xenobiological remains, just to be sure.

Theidar

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

Theidar wrote: »

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

Theidar wrote: »

Fortunately he finds your error funny.

Spoiler:

that unit appears far too fleshy for a neural AI. Have you been dipping into the alien morgues again?

That is merely his video avatar designed to put humans at ease while standing next to a sentient tank that has minimal frame of reference in common with them.

...

I'm going to recommend a recount of all xenobiological remains, just to be sure.

As you wish:

2 alien remains missing from storage.

A brief scan of the base indicates they are both in Synthetic Oranges quarters.

msuitepyon

Theidar wrote: »

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

Theidar wrote: »

I.H.N.I.W.T.R. wrote: »

Theidar wrote: »

Fortunately he finds your error funny.

Spoiler:

that unit appears far too fleshy for a neural AI. Have you been dipping into the alien morgues again?

That is merely his video avatar designed to put humans at ease while standing next to a sentient tank that has minimal frame of reference in common with them.

...

I'm going to recommend a recount of all xenobiological remains, just to be sure.

As you wish:

2 alien remains missing from storage.

A brief scan of the base indicates they are both in Synthetic Oranges quarters.

SO's doing a little extracurricular study time. Finding weaknesses... Their asshole is especially vulnerable.

Fishman

Dr. Computer Generated Faggotry's Hyperwave Decoder came online on the 3rd of May.



For three days, the base waited nervously, anxious to see if the good Doctors hypothesis about alien FTL communications were correct.

We needn't have worried.



The decryption grid came to life as the extra-terrestrial network began divulging more critical information on alien activities then we'd ever had before. Craft type, crew information, mission profile - it was all here. Analysts could spend months interpreting all the data streams. However, we had clearly isolated the most important ones. There was much rejoicing in the labs; backslaps and handshakes for a job well done.

The mood was more grim in C&C and the Barracks. No one exactly knew what 'Alien Retaliation' was, but we were all sure that we didn't want to find out. To have no response would invite further incursions; as Earth's defense force, we would have to act. The prospect of heavily armed Muton soldiers was chilling.

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

Oh shit.

Tofystedeth

I smell a base assault.

Yummy.

Fuck those guys up.

Vivixenne

oh goddamn

this one's going to be intense

The Far Side

no, its in a base

Rankenphile

god I love this thread

redhead

The Far Side wrote: »

no, its in a base

pffff

Fishman

The X-Com Interceptor corps had been passing messages back and forth for days, a show of bravado and rivalry between the pilots to see who would get the first chance to utilise the new Plasma Beam craft weapons in an actual combat engagement. With the Mutons detected crossing over the Sea of Japan on a heading towards South East Asia, Lt. Cold Salmon and Hatred was now the winner of $200, a bottle of Chateau Lafitte, MechMantis's original vinyl of Slippery When Wet and Bogey's sister's home phone number.



UFO-32 crossed into Chinese Airspace a little before 9pm local time. The alien craft was intercepted north of Beijing.



With the Plasma Beam technology still unproven, Interceptor-3 was equipped with combination weapon loadout of Plasma Beam and three X-Com 'Avalanche' anti-UFO air-to-air missiles. To gain ameasurable evaluation of the new weapon, a two stage approach was selected as the preferred combat tactic, with Lt. Cold Salmon and Hatred at first engaging from maximum range of the missiles for the first shot, before closing to engage with the Beam weapon after weapon contact.


Fig-1 (0 seconds); Target engaged


Fig-2 (9 seconds); Close to maximum missile range


Fig-3 (11 seconds); Missile fired


Fig-4 (14 seconds); Missile hit; minor damage sustained


Fig-5 (18 seconds); Close to Plasma Beam range


Fig-6 (20 seconds); Multiple hits reported; Interceptor inflicts critical damage


Fig-7 (21 seconds); UFO-32 Crash lands

The speed and accuracy with which the Plasma Beam brought down the scout craft is beyond even the science team's predictions. Within a matter of heartbeats, multiple high-energy particle streams travelling at more than half the speed of light turn the UFO's outer hull from a durable metal alloy capable of atmospheric entry into a burning pyre of molten slag that lights up the night sky with green flames.

The UFO crashes lands in an isolated valley in Northern China.

Fishman

A squad of soldier from Contact Team Ratio is mustered to engage remaining ground forces. Cpt. Karl and Sgt. Wallhitter are arrived and cleared to lead the team. Medic NotACrook has also received medical clearance to rejoin the team. Additionally, of the new recruits, Der Waffle Mous and RabidDeathMoose are ready for combat; recruits Zombies Tossed My Salad! (or Zombiesalad!, for character limit reasons) and gurusloth are still waiting to be issued armour and will remain at base. Soldiers Veretas and Cliffjumper are likewise not on duty.



Skyranger-2 puts down in the engagement zone shortly after midnight, local time.

Indie Winter

ok guys, this is it

come back with your plasma rifle

or on it

Spoiler:

after the aliens shove it up your asses, that is

gurusloth

Fishman wrote: »

recruit gurusloth is still waiting to be issued armour and will remain at base.

well crap

Der Waffle Mous

LOCK AND LOAD!

LOCK AND LOAD!

dear god I'm going to end up being turned into some sort of goo.

Woodroez

Fighty time! Fighty time! blood blood blood!

Rankenphile

Aww bullocks, I ain't sittin' around watchin' the fuckin' fireworks again, I want some god damn blood on my visor. I wanna tear apart some alien guts with my goddamned teeth!

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

Nooooo

I wanna shoot some muton bastards!

Bogey

I want that vinyl of Slippery When Wet! :o

RabidDeathMoose

Fuck yes! Who wants to live forever!?

Ivar

RabidDeathMoose wrote: »

Fuck yes! Who wants to live forever!?

me (I do)

i kan reed

This thread is still ruling so hard.

naporeon

i kan reed wrote: »

This thread is still ruling so hard.

Agreed.

Even though I'm dead, this is pretty rad.

Karl

This is it.


This is how i die. First mission back from the med bay and in command of a squad.

Viscount Islands

Fire and explosions.

Hopefully death.

Tommy2Hands

Tommy2Hands wrote: »

Sign up! as Sharpshooter, CQC, Grenadier, or Medic

Fucking Aliens won't know what hit 'em

Reposting this because I just finished reading the thread and now I want in on this more than ever

Captain Cthulhu

Captain Cthulhu wrote: »

!sign up: Fluffer

Fishman

CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET

--UFO-32 Crash Site Mission Audio Log Excerpt--

<<- timestamp begin T-14 seconds ->>


Wallhitter: Final Checks! Everyone ready?

Nartwak: Yessir!
Der Waffle Mous: Locked and loaded!

Rankenphile: Hey, newbie. When you get splattered, try not to get any blood on my armour. I've just had it polished.

Karl: Settle down, soldier. Here we go.



One Thousand Dicks: Touchdown!
Ten: Aedan rolling.



Ten: Looks like the Plasma Beam did a right proper job opening that tin can up.



Karl: Nice. Let's get some light out there.
NotACrook: Affirmative. Throwing flare.
BYToady: Man, we get flares in this unit now? You'd think we were a front line unit or something.





NotACrook: No contact.
Rankenphile: No contact.

Karl: Alright, set up a defensive pattern around the ramp; make sure our ride home is secure before moving out.

NotACrook: Copy that. I only just got back on the roster, you can bet I'm planning on going home.



RabidDeathMoose: You know, it's kinda bigger than I expected.

Nartwak: Wait until you get inside. It's got all the narrow corridors and blind corners you can possibly hope for.

Cold Salmon and Hatred

Fishman wrote: »

With the Mutons detected crossing over the Sea of Japan on a heading towards South East Asia, Lt. Cold Salmon and Hatred was now the winner of $200, a bottle of Chateau Lafitte, MechMantis's original vinyl of Slippery When Wet and Bogey's sister's home phone number.

hell yes

bogey's sister is hot

BYToady

Flares are awesome, we'll have a rave party on the flight back!