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There's a Snake in my Room

StraightziStraightzi The rock, the vulture, and the chainAll that the proud can feel of painRegistered User regular
edited October 2008 in Singularity Engine++
So I get home from a long day at ren faire today, and I've got some time to kill so I am like, "Hey look, internet time!"

So I make my way down into my basement, where my computer happens to be parked, my trusty canine sidekick trotting at my heels. I flick on the lights and have hardly settled into my favorite computing chair when my dog starts freaking the hell out over in the corner.

So I'm all like, "Nala, fuckin' quit it"

And she goes and lies down, revealing to me a medium sized gardner snake writhing around the floor.

I then proceed to freak out a bit, but unlike my dog, I do not attack it with my teeth, but rather head over to the kitchen and go and grab a large metal pot cover, with which I have every intent of trapping the snake and then removing it from the premises.

And I'm standing, staring at this snake, getting closer and closer to it, pot cover raised up for reasons I am now finding rather elusive.

When it sees me and darts under my bookshelf.

Where I assume it is chilling right now.

Straightzi on
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Posts

  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Put on some thick gloves and just grab it

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Alternatively, spray some bug spray under your bookshelf it will slither out and you can get it with the pot lid

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    man up and grab it with your bare hands

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  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Stop being such a pussy

    cc61181c22f23454a304a4f1f0867845044.gif
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  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2008
    Flip out your dick and try imitating a snake.

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  • StraightziStraightzi The rock, the vulture, and the chain All that the proud can feel of painRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Weaver wrote: »
    Alternatively, spray some bug spray under your bookshelf it will slither out and you can get it with the pot lid

    I like this idea

    Because I am incredibly unmanly

    I mean hell, I planned on picking the thorns out of my bouquet of roses while internetting this eve

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  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Wait a minute. What is ren faire?

    scarab you have mental problems
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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    You probably could have grabbed it if you were slow and cool about it, but between the dog and you with the pot now it is agitated as hell and probably craves only the taste of murder.

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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Wait a minute. What is ren faire?

    Seriously?


    Are you asking for real?

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  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    burn your books.

    then be cool and grab the snake

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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    It is going to bite off your penis

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  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    and once you have it under the pot lid you can try to asphixiate it or such

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • StraightziStraightzi The rock, the vulture, and the chain All that the proud can feel of painRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Update:

    Okay so I was trying to arrange books around the base of my bookshelf to limit the ways it can escape and I saw a shedded snakeskin

    It may have been living here for some time

    Maybe there are more

    Maybe I should just seal off the room and never look back

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  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I excel at the capture and disposal of uninvited houehold guests

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • StraightziStraightzi The rock, the vulture, and the chain All that the proud can feel of painRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Weaver wrote: »
    and once you have it under the pot lid you can try to asphixiate it or such

    My plan was to shove a piece of cardstock underneath it and release it into the wild

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  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Update:

    Okay so I was trying to arrange books around the base of my bookshelf to limit the ways it can escape and I saw a shedded snakeskin

    It may have been living here for some time

    Maybe there are more

    Maybe I should just seal off the room and never look back

    Your dog is a pussy

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    woody-2.jpg

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
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  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited September 2008
    blind the snake in one eye

    then stroke it gently

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  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    and once you have it under the pot lid you can try to asphixiate it or such

    My plan was to shove a piece of cardstock underneath it and release it into the wild

    it may smell your hand and strike where you hold the cardstock. Not poisonous but you might get pricked. Besides it already knows how to get back in

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    So, I live in a somewhat wooded area where varmints still live. About a month and a half ago, I get freaked out by a big ass fucking Possum running across the garage. I was smoking in the front yard for a week or so after.

    A couple weeks ago, I'm scared shitless again by a possum, about a quarter of the size of the first. I figure the first one I was was the mother pregnant with this little shit head.

    Last night, a Skunk sprayed his fucking shit right next to my window.


    God damn, people live here now you fucking things, go away.

    clowninthewoods.png
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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    put it in a jar with some leaves and a large twig

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  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    when i was a kid we used to go to a creek to catch gardner snakes with our bare hands.

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  • bowenbowen Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Capture it with your bare hands and bite off it's head.

    That'll show the fucker.

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  • StraightziStraightzi The rock, the vulture, and the chain All that the proud can feel of painRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Weaver wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Update:

    Okay so I was trying to arrange books around the base of my bookshelf to limit the ways it can escape and I saw a shedded snakeskin

    It may have been living here for some time

    Maybe there are more

    Maybe I should just seal off the room and never look back

    Your dog is a pussy

    Yeah she is

    This is not the first snake based encounter in this basement, for the record

    There was one in the bathroom like a month ago

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  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    also:
    garter snake

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
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  • scarlet ave.scarlet ave. Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    tomhanksisgay.gif

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  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    quit showing your penis to your dog.



    ...that is what this thread's really about, right?

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    woody-2.jpg

    That's "boot".



    Snake in my "boot".

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  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Do you have snakes that come in sometimes? Don't stand for that shit. They might even have the audacity to come right into your garage. You know what would really fix their little red wagon? Precision-engineered vinyl snake covers from Reptilon. Put one of these on there and see how they like it. Fucking snakes, they think they can go wherever they want.

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  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    and don't worry about the skin it likely came in your house to shed that

    or don't some snakes shed a skin when they get frightened?

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Whenever shibby posts now I just kind of skip it because it's almost guaranteed to be some story about how he is devoid of humanity in any sense of the word.

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  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Wait

    A Gardner snake?

    You pussy

    Xbox Live: OGSirToons PSN: NoGreatName Bnet Tag: SirToons#1214 NNID: SirToons
    Steam ID: SirToons 3DS: 3024-5277-3254 Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
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  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    keep the snake as a pet and feed your dog to it so it may grow strong

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  • coldbird.coldbird. Registered User
    edited September 2008
    shoot it

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  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    For some reason, I can't stand seeing a live mouse being feed to a snake. Whenever I see it happen, I'm just scream at the mouse to run.

    clowninthewoods.png
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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Weaver wrote: »
    and don't worry about the skin it likely came in your house to shed that

    or don't some snakes shed a skin when they get frightened?

    I am pretty sure they only shed skin when it is time to shed skin.



    Think of it as stress-related hairloss. That doesn't just happen, and when it does it doesn't happen the exact instant you get streesed, it takes a while.


    And it takes forever for them to get out of the skin in the first place.

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  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yeah, shedding skin is a process. It can't be done willy nilly.

    Xbox Live: OGSirToons PSN: NoGreatName Bnet Tag: SirToons#1214 NNID: SirToons
    Steam ID: SirToons 3DS: 3024-5277-3254 Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
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  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited September 2008
    bodyslam it

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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Koshian wrote: »
    keep the snake as a pet and feed your dog to it so it may grow strong

    But the dog is a coward

    You can't get stronger by eating a coward, so your best bet is to catch the snake and feed it to the dog

    Then you'll have zero snakes and one courageous non-cowardly dog

    potato_sig.gif
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