Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it,
follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given
their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
Posts
I wasn't trying to say that what she's doing is ok. I'm just putting for a hypothesis as to why she's acting like this. All I'm saying is there's no reason yet to ascribe any malevolent intent to her.
Yeah it does, the worst part is when one time we were talking about what the worst thing you could do to someone else in a relationship and I told her the worst thing you could do to me would probably be to cheat on me.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
I can't help you there. You have to decide for yourself whether this is something you can really work through if she wants to, or whether you just won't be able to trust her again. If you don't think you can trust her again, it's going to be easier to break it off now than try to make things work again and fail first.
Sabs, you shouldn't be having "hopes" or whatever right now. This isn't about "getting your hopes up" that she's actually fine, it's about keeping an open mind. GO AND TALK TO HER! Don't come to any conclusions right now; if you go into the conversation thinking "she was definitely cheating on me/wants to break up" then anything she says won't matter, because your mind is going to twist it into something she doesn't necessarily mean.
So, don't come to any conclusions right now. Go and talk to her, give her a chance to explain herself. Start off with something like "I heard you might be having some doubts about our relationship. There's something going on, and you need to tell me what it is." I would recommend against out-and-out saying "You cheated on me! Why??" Let her tell you in her own way, but make sure she's telling you everything. If she says "everything's fine" or tries to dodge the question, don't let her get out of it, because this is a conversation you guys need to have now.
This is not going to be an easy or fun conversation. It's going to suck for both of you, probably. However, there is a chance that she'll tearfully confess to whatever was going on on Monday, and then tell you that she's thought about it and she really wants to be with you, not him. At that point, you need to decide whether you want to stay with her.
I don't envy you this, dude, but I'll be thinking about you today. Whatever happens, I hope you come out of it okay.
To be fair, he's probably slightly traumatized emotionally at the moment so latching onto overtly pessimistic or optimistic lines of thought as a defence mechanism is to be expected.
I'm not assuming the worst, or else why would I ask if it would be out of hand if I asked her to not see the other guy anymore if we work through the relationship?
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
Oh, its not malevolent or malicious, its just self-centred and dishonest.
This man understands.
You should all listen to this man.
That's good. Good luck, little buddy.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
Heine was there.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
You're a fool of a Took
Concentrate on talking to her for now; worry about that end once things are clearer in your mind about where you stand on your relationship yourself
Honestly I don't feel that the perspectives of your friends should have any substantive impact upon whether or not you and the GF work through things. If they can't deal with it, tough for them.
Yeah those two are very conservative when it comes to relationships, like they've been together for more then 2 years, while me and the gf have been together for 4 months, and we did it more then they did. <.< Also they were calling her a whore for what she did on monday.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
Are you kidding? I'm 75% sure that thing is fake
You have no reason to celebrate
I was sick last week. I probably gave you my cold.
you bastard
i will e-kill you
*bang!*
All I know is that Ricky Gervais > Steve Carell in that role in every conceivable fashion.
Meh, I don't think that's always the case. In this particular case, it looks like that may be a fair thing to say, but I don't think that always voicing every doubt you have about your relationship as soon as you have it is always the "right" thing to do. Sometimes you just need some time to figure out what it is you really want, and getting the other person involved just doesn't do either of you any good. You can't expect people to become stone to every other person that they're not dating, and so feelings like this will arise, and I don't think it's unreasonable for people to want to deal with their feelings on their own, as long as they didn't actually go out and sleep with anyone, which I don't even know has happened in Sabs' case.
Your friends should be able to respect your decision, whichever way you decide to go.
I feel for ya, Sabs. Good luck with the conversation tonight, and listen to VH. That's exactly the same advice I'd give you.