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Dynamite Cop! It's Tuna-Slinging, hairspray-aiming, killer commandos to the rescue!

existexist Registered User regular
edited October 2008 in Games and Technology
This is a thread to reflect back on what is possibly the greatest game ever made, Dynamite Cop!

(Story of the game in spoiler)
Here's what we know so far. You, a one “Captain Bruno Delinger,” were rudely awakened from your mandatory 3 hours of sweat-drenched, flashback-having, war-ridden nightmares you call your beauty sleep. The phone just rang like an air raid siren in your head, and at this hour you can't help but stand at attention. Seems that the President of the good old U. S. of A. needs your help. A band of modern day pirates has taken control of the world famous “Bermuda” cruise liner. They are heavily armed and dressed like Blue Beard the Biker. This floating fortress of fun also happens to have over a thousand of the most powerful people in the world on board. The President’s daughter is among them, and in need of some major life preserving. You wipe the crust out of your eyes, brush those pearly whites, and suit up. You make sure not to forget your monkey sidekick, “Banana.” He happens to be your good luck charm and goes over great with the chicks.

Just when you thought things were bad, they get worse. The Navy SEALs that have also been called out for this ocean going party know of you and your incredible talents for bringing down the house—literally. You’ve paid more in property damage than in alimony checks. The SEAL commander doesn’t seem to like hot shots and makes sure to politely let you know by yelling and spitting it all over your face. Boy does this guy need to switch mouthwash.

“Look, I'm not here to make friends,” you say.

“Oh really, Bruno?” the commander replies. “So I guess that filthy monkey on your shoulder is your twisted idea of a sidekick.” The entire room breaks out in laughter, sans you. These guys don't seem too supportive of your choice in partners, and your monkey just peed on your back from all the commotion.

“Just stay out of our hair, Bruno!” the commander warns. “This is our show, and we don't need any organ grinders in the circus!”

“You’re right, Captain,” you reply. “Send in the clowns, that's what I always say!” The room goes silent, and with that said, you earn the respect and total hatred of every man in the room. So much for professional courtesy.

Invade the ship and rescue the hostages, ESPECIALLY THE PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER. Take out anyone who stands in your way. This is not a P.R. mission, so use any and all weapons you can find. You’d be surprised at what you can use to drop your swarthy opponents, so keep your eyes peeled. Remember, these pirate rejects are playing for keeps, so stay sharp. Now move out before the SEALs start clubbing you.

Easily the most innovative game on the dreamcast, Dynamite Cop! is a 1 to 2 player game very similiar to the 1997 playstation game Fighting Force, only with everything made much more awesome. You can use all kinds of crazy shit as weapons, including shiskabobs, hairspray, other enemies, nukes, missile launchers, handguns, miniguns, hand axes, vacuum cleaners, pork bones, chairs, boxes, barrels, the goddamn works. It is also worth nothing that this game actually had a sort of DLC called the Detonate Pack! using the sega web browser. Also, whenever you walk near a spot that an illustration is hidden in the VMU makes a sharp beep! that can pretty much be the most annoying thing ever.
You heard it right, there are illustrations to be found all over the place. Like, 36 of them. You want replayability? You got replayability.

I mean, shit, look at this box-art. This is basically the best box art I think I have ever seen.
o0toue.jpg

You see that fucker with the monkey on his shoulder, that is Captain Bruno Delinger, one of the playable characters in the game. He would have been John McClane, had they been able to use the Die Hard license for the game. An excerpt from the games manual:
Captain Bruno Delinger

Some call him Bruno, some call him “Mr. Dynamite,” but try not to call him “Monkey Boy.” Known for his incredible martial arts skills as well as his record for property damage, Capt. Bruno is one tough ball of primate-carrying beef cake! He’s got a trusted monkey sidekick named “Banana” and a real love for seeing things go boom! If he isn’t in the middle of saving the world from terrorists, he’s usually in the middle of trying to save his marriage.

You can actually play as the monkey I guess if you do some crazy video game shit like collect all the illustrations or something, I don't even know.

You can also play as a girl who we are skipping over and a large black man named Corporal Eddie Brown. According to the manual, he used to be an NFL player, but got kicked out after drop-kicking a goddamn referee. So he was like, "fuck that, that's gay" and became a NAVY seal.

FUN FACTS ABOUT EDDIE BROWN:
- Enjoys reggae music and kick boxing
- Tough as nails (and eats them too!)
- Moonlights for a psychic advice hotline.

I am not making this up people, this is all in the manual.

Youtube video of the game's genius in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhDlvJTqtGs
There is no part of this video not worth watching.

As you can see in the video, this game even had those QTE events like in Shemue and God of War and Resident Evil 4 and what have you. If you do the right action, you get rewarded with a cool cutscene of you like drop-kicking a fucker in the face or throwing a crazy african voodoo guy off a pirate ship.

Myself, my brother and my friend would play this game for hours after school nearly everyday for like three months. We must have beaten it a combined total of atleast a million times. Now I know that somebody out there had to have also played it, so lets hear it PA, what do you think about the most kick-assingest game ever made?

This OP would have much more content if the internet didn't have complete dick for screens or I could make screens of my own.

UmPiq.png
exist on

Posts

  • maximumzeromaximumzero I...wait, what? New Orleans, LARegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Die Hard Arcade was basically Dynamite Cop .5 right?

    maximumzero on
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  • existexist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Die Hard Arcade was basically Dynamite Cop .5 right?

    Yeah, this game was pretty much the sequel to it.

    exist on
    UmPiq.png
  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Hahahahahaha
    Especially the president's daughter!

    Wasn't this out for the arcade, too? Or am I just thinking of the Die Hard Trilogy Aracade...

    edit: Ohhhh

    Crashmo on
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  • existexist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Hahahahahaha
    Especially the president's daughter!

    Wasn't this out for the arcade, too? Or am I just thinking of the Die Hard Trilogy Aracade...

    edit: Ohhhh

    You better believe this was in the arcades. But it was pretty bullshit because bosses would just rape you with machine guns which took like a quarter of your health bar and before you know it oh hey all my tokens are gone

    exist on
    UmPiq.png
  • PompaPompa Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    when you can piledriver an ememy off a bed, you know its good times.

    my and my bro used to play this so much, and THIS is how to do QTE's. is everybody listening? good, then stop putting them in games for a 'cinematic' approach. QTE's should be pass or fail, but either way they shouldn't allow you to stop progress in the game.

    much <3 for the op

    Pompa on
  • UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    All I remember is a rocket launcher which effectively nuked the screen; battling giant squid; fighting a crazy chef (and hitting people with French bread loaves); having no idea what was going on; and ...having a battle to the death at the end for who gets to ...marry the president's daughter if you played 2 player? Something like that.

    UltimaGecko on
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  • DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    motherfucking laser to the face and then motherfucking table to the face

    DodgeBlan on
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  • LewiePLewieP Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Wait...

    They made a Dreamcast Sequel to Die Hard Arcade


    !!!


    How did I not know this yet.

    LewieP on
  • existexist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    LewieP wrote: »
    Wait...

    They made a Dreamcast Sequel to Die Hard Arcade


    !!!


    How did I not know this yet.

    Quick! Go buy it. It's like 10 dollars on the internet or 100 points on goozex.

    exist on
    UmPiq.png
  • LewiePLewieP Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I should really set up a UK version of Goozex. Anyone got any money they want to give me to set it up.

    LewieP on
  • Rex DartRex Dart Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Fuck yes. This game is the ballsiest game ever.

    I played it with a friend at the arcade, but we were ultimately defeated by that goddamn Krakken. Fucking Krakken. How did the cyber pirates recruit a Krakken anyway?

    Anyway, my friend and I would talk for years about how awesome that game was. Eventually I found out that it was ported to Dreamcast, bought it on EB, and we finally saved the hell out of the President's daughter.
    Then that bitch made us fight each other. WTF? I guess that kind of thing used to happen in old-school beat-em-ups, but the console version gave you infinite credits. So the final fight with your teammate just broke down into a debate over who should stop continuing.

    This game had fantastic, cheesy enemy designs, not to mention bios for all the enemies among the console unlockables. The fighting system is a lot of fun, and I believe it was originally developed with the intention of the game being a 3D Streets of Rage. I guess they ultimately decided the system felt too different from Streets of Rage, which is true. Still, awesome system.

    There's also a Sega cameo by that Chickenleg creature that was in Golden Axe and Altered Beast.

    Rex Dart on
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