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Coalition of the Illin' [Canadian Politics]

ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
edited December 2008 in Social Entropy++
CANADA
canada_eng2.jpg

The True North strong and free!

We just had an election a few weeks ago, did you know that?

The Conservatives maintained a minority government.

What is a minority government?

Is it when a minority takes over the government, like what happened down south?

No, silly. There aren't any minorities in Canada. They don't call it "The Great White North" for nothing.

Oh wait, gays are a minority, aren't they? Well, they don't matter, anyway. We gave them the right to get married, and in exchange, they've agreed to stay hidden away in their horrible gay grottoes.

Let's say that Canadians get to vote on which political party gets the most pie. Usually, one party gets a really big piece of pie, and gets to hold it over the other parties' heads and say, "Nyah nyah. We get to call all the shots now, because even if you combined all your pieces of pie it still wouldn't be bigger than our piece of pie, jerkfaces." But, in a minority government, the party in charge didn't get a really big piece of pie, and the other parties could very well combine their pieces of pie to form a bigger piece of pie than that of the leading party party pie pie canadian pie pie.

What are the political parties and who leads them?

The Conservatives!
They like things the way they used to be. They also like money.
(Holding 143 seats)
Spoiler:

The Liberals!
They are the middle of the road, politically speaking.
(Holding 77 seats)
Spoiler:

The New Democratic Party!
They are socialists. They love everything that Conservatives hate.
(Holding 37 seats)
Spoiler:

The Bloc Québécois!
They want Quebec to be its own nation. For 245 years these damn Frenchies have been pressured into accepting proud, proper, British based culture, but some of them are still holding out.
(Holding 49 seats)
Spoiler:
Meissnerd wrote: »
the green party
(NO SEATS, SON)
The Green Party is yet another left-leaning political party, but they are distinct from other leftist parties for being fiscally conservative. Their main project is to help the environment, so it was rather convenient that green was still available.

The party is currently led by this fly woman right here
Spoiler:

If you would like to see our leaders go at it in the House of Commons, you can see the sessions at http://www.cpac.ca/

Did you know that The Liberals, The New Democrats and the Bloc Québécois hate Stephen Harper sooooo much that they are planning on forming a coalition to overthrow the Conservatives?

Well, they are.

The New Democrats and the Liberals have agreed to work together until 2011, if the government holds up that long.

The Bloc Québécois have agreed to support this coalition for 18 months.

Stephen Harper is going to try his very best to stop this unholy union from happening.

How is he going to do this?

Well, he could try to suspend parliament until January 26th, and let the whole situation cool off.

He could try to call an election.

He could cry a lot.

But, he's the Prime Minister. What do I mean by try? Shouldn't he be able to just do this shit?

If he wants to call an election or suspend parliament he's gotta get approval from the Governor-General.
Spoiler:

Some parts of Canada are saying, "Hey, what the fuck? We voted the Conservatives in to lead us! This isn't cool!"

Other parts of Canada are saying, "YEEEEEEEAH! FUCK HARPER!"

What are YOU saying?

Rick Mercer rants.

ChicoBlue on
Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
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Posts

  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    So you have some sort of MMP craziness too? What is the canadian electoral system called?

  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    i can't wait for the day we turn canadian politics into a reality tv show

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I am fucking mad about this.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Also, under Bloc you should mention how they want to separate and be their own country but still get the billions of dollars in revenue from the rest of the country they aren't part of anymore.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    1023600.jpg

    He has a grey suit, grey hair, grey tie and grey eyes

  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Also his face reminds me of Putin with lots of hair.

  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere MY FINEST CREATION oh nevermind it's deadRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I don't know anything about canada but this sounds really entertaining

    like watching a car crash

    nHu0VJL.png
    My Youtube My Steam SMITE IGN: TDOTCRFH4 come SMITE with me
  • FrankoFranko Sometimes I really wish I had four feet so I could dance with myself to the drumbeat Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    God I hate this country's politics

  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    L|ama wrote: »
    So you have some sort of MMP craziness too? What is the canadian electoral system called?

    First to Pass the Post.

    Which is lovely.

    Because that means a political party doesn't need the popular vote majority to get a House majority.

    Woooo

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Well I've never heard of The Bloc Québécois until now but I want them to die.

    polar-bearsig.jpg
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    YO WHERE THE GREENS AT

    NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • OverprofileOverprofile Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    YO WHERE THE GREENS AT

    NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT

    not a single damn seat :(

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Pfft.

    Like the Green Party matters.

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    the green party

    The Green Party is yet another left-leaning political party, but they are distinct from other leftist parties for being fiscally conservative. Their main project is to help the environment, so it was rather convenient that green was still available.

    The party is currently led by this fly woman right here
    Spoiler:

    ELIZABETH MAY

    -A woman
    -Leader of the Greens
    -Single mother
    -Owns many scarves[/spoiler]

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    L|ama wrote: »
    So you have some sort of MMP craziness too? What is the canadian electoral system called?

    First to Pass the Post.

    Which is lovely.

    Because that means a political party doesn't need the popular vote majority to get a House majority.

    Woooo

    Oh, we used to have that here, but now we have this weird thing with one party vote and one electorate vote but they can still form weird ass coalitions (last time around the major party in the government had less vote % than the other main party, but they had a bunch of minor parties form a coalition so they were still in power). tldr: FPP can end up just as stupid as other systems

  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I was watching them all on TV yelling in the house of commons today, and someone has some very rude people in their party because there was so much talking and arguing in the background that I could not hear any of the important yelling.

    4484-7718-8470
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Well I've never heard of The Bloc Québécois until now but I want them to die.

    Oh man.

    It's disgusting. Like, in order to actually ascribe to their platform you would have to be either a complete asshole or insane.

    I'm dead serious.

    Basically most of the other provinces make tons of money from oil etc, Quebec makes fucking NOTHING, but they get all the social programs and buttloads of money dumped on them every year and they have a better set up than the provinces that do all the work.

    AND they want to leave and be their own country, so people sort of said, "Ok, fine, go then, how the hell would you survive?"

    "OH, because we are going to keep taking your fucking money you make for us, but we're too good to actually be part of you, just the money though we like that."

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    All Canadians should really be paying special attention right here; how this coalition shit turns out could really, really change the balance of power for years to come

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Meisnerd what about the Marijuana party?

    Also we have a communist party.
    Do that one too

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    What about them

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Campion wrote: »
    I was watching them all on TV yelling in the house of commons today, and someone has some very rude people in their party because there was so much talking and arguing in the background that I could not hear any of the important yelling.

    It's so terrifying, but so entertaining.

    Harper screams something at the top of his lungs and sits down.

    The Conservatives stand up, hoot and applaud.

    Dion screams something at the top of his lungs, stuttering and all sounding like Kermit the Frog and sits down.

    The Liberals stand up, hoot and applaud.


    I respect our leaders so much.

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    I still believe you guys should just give Quebec the fucking boot and then when they realize they can't take care of themselves and come crawling back, insist on only taking them back if they finally shut the fuck up about that silly secession nonsense.

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    I still believe you guys should just give Quebec the fucking boot and then when they realize they can't take care of themselves and come crawling back, insist on only taking them back if they finally shut the fuck up about that silly secession nonsense.

    I am for this too! It's ridiculous the special treatment we give them. We have tons and tons of nations within Canada, but they don't rail against the government. I think we should give the First Nations their owns province before we let Quebec separate.

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    I think we should give the First Nations their owns province before we let Quebec separate.

    I am not quite sure that they would want that!

    4484-7718-8470
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    http://www.cbc.ca/mercerreport/video.html

    Click on the bottom video, the Rant. It explains pretty well what's going on.

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Campion wrote: »
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    I think we should give the First Nations their owns province before we let Quebec separate.

    I am not quite sure that they would want that!

    Who cares what they want it's a nice gesture

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    I still believe you guys should just give Quebec the fucking boot and then when they realize they can't take care of themselves and come crawling back, insist on only taking them back if they finally shut the fuck up about that silly secession nonsense.

    I totally agree, unfortunately because of THIS they might get their fucking way.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    It isn't very nice at all!

    4484-7718-8470
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I thought that new province was like, some of them or something.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Alright, alright

    I may have been wrong about the First Nations Province, they might not want it. My point is that I don't want separatists separating from Canada, and becoming separate.

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    I still believe you guys should just give Quebec the fucking boot and then when they realize they can't take care of themselves and come crawling back, insist on only taking them back if they finally shut the fuck up about that silly secession nonsense.

    I totally agree, unfortunately because of THIS they might get their fucking way.
    but that's precisely the point
    if they actually got their way they would quickly come crawling back with their tails between their legs once they realize they are a fucking useless territory and that they need Canada or they are fucked proper

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • FrankoFranko Sometimes I really wish I had four feet so I could dance with myself to the drumbeat Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    if quebec came crawling back id tell em to give us montreal as a penalty and then to fuck off

  • JauntyJaunty Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Franko wrote: »
    if quebec came crawling back id tell em to give us montreal as a penalty and then to fuck off

    Montreal fuckin' rocks.

  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Green Party leader supports the Coalition.

    May could get a fancy seat on the Senate and one in the cabinet.

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
  • ComahawkComahawk Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The coalition is a plan by the Conservatives to call another election, further deface the other parties for their shear incompetence and seize more control over the country, potentially the majority they tried to take last time.

    And the other parties are all playing into their hand. Being that I support the Conservatives, it makes me chuckle.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Comahawk wrote: »
    The coalition is a plan by the Conservatives to call another election, further deface the other parties for their shear incompetence and seize more control over the country, potentially the majority they tried to take last time.

    And the other parties are all playing into their hand. Being that I support the Conservatives, it makes me chuckle.

    no harper is just dumb and went too far and got slapped the fuck down

    16kakxt.jpg
  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere MY FINEST CREATION oh nevermind it's deadRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    something something poutine

    nHu0VJL.png
    My Youtube My Steam SMITE IGN: TDOTCRFH4 come SMITE with me
  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    When I go to Canada next year, I'm going to have some shirts specially printed:

    Canada: Practically the 51st State
    Canada: The U.S.'s Hat

  • DerLustigeBosniakDerLustigeBosniak Registered User
    edited December 2008
    What bugs me the most about this is the amount of people in this fucking redneck province of mine that are crying about this is undemocratic. You fucking idiots. It's perfectly legitimate. This is nothing undemocratic. It's not encroaching on freedoms.

    Also, this entire affair has made me realize that the only person with any fucking balls right now Duceppe because at least he's honest about what he wants. The rest of them are lying through their teeth.

    sig-3.jpg
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