Dumb Emails From Parents

Fandyien

My parents never ever go into my room. It's almost like having an apartment, only I can get yelled at for a lot more stuff.

Volucrisus Aedrius

Your mom needs to send you more anti-laser refractive armor, WaM.

Fandyien

My parents and I have this weird don't ask don't tell relationship where we just don't talk about my incredible menagerie of vices and faults. They also never send me e-mails except for once in a blue moon where my dad finds something from like four years ago on the internet and thinks it's hilarious.

World as Myth

Volucrisus Aedrius wrote: »

Your mom needs to send you more anti-laser refractive armor, WaM.

yes

wait I mean no

MrMonroe

Fandyien wrote: »

Other then michael moore being a fat jerk, what exactly are your problems with his politics

or are you just dumb

Lately it's just been rants about how the Big Three need saving justified with nothing but broken window fallacy and "well, Wall Street got one."

Basically I agree with him about gun control and healthcare and that's about it. (Though I wish he would be less of a fat jerk about those issues, because that makes me a fat jerk by association. I work for my svelte figure, thank you)

Randall_Flagg

Shankusu wrote: »

so when I lived at home my mom would pop into my room, talk to me, leave, pop back in, be like "oh i forgot that..." and say something else, maybe doing this three or four times. it was annoying, but whatever, she's scatter-brained, it's fine.

when I started leaving the house to hang out with my friends or living with my dad or whatever the fuck, she started doing the same thing with calls. she would call me, we'd talk for ten minutes, she would call me back and be like "OH I FORGOT THAT..." It only took twenty or twenty-five times of her doing this for me to get pretty annoyed, and now if she calls back within ten minutes of us hanging up, whatever, she can leave a message, she just has information for me anyway.

now that I'm at college she e-mails me big long e-mails, then e-mails me three minutes later with the tagline "One more thing...", even doing this two or three times. Sometimes she e-mails me something that ends with "I'm going to look up bus prices and times" and e-mails back five minutes later saying "ok so the bus leaves now and now and costs this much." This doesn't happen once in a while. This happens ALWAYS.

This is THE MOST FUCKING ANNOYING THING to me. I come home to five or six e-mails. This isn't like leaving the room and realizing you forgot to bring something up - it's fucking TEXT, sent over the internet. You can consolidate your thoughts before you send me an e-mail. If once in a while you go "oh I left something out" that's fine, but I feel like my mom e-mails me every time she thinks of something instead of going "hey maybe I'll just e-mail him tonight with everything I think of between now and then" or "hey I need to remind my son of something why don't I write a reminder or start a list or something"

I dunno. It bugs me.

Spoiler:

ONE MORE THING

Janson

My parents and relatives are really, really good at not forwarding spam.

However I stopped e-mailing my mother for a while after she said some silly things.

Defender

Michael Moore's views are idiotic and his way of presenting them is highly dishonest.

The Geek

Randall_Flagg wrote: »

Shankusu wrote: »

so when I lived at home my mom would pop into my room, talk to me, leave, pop back in, be like "oh i forgot that..." and say something else, maybe doing this three or four times. it was annoying, but whatever, she's scatter-brained, it's fine.

when I started leaving the house to hang out with my friends or living with my dad or whatever the fuck, she started doing the same thing with calls. she would call me, we'd talk for ten minutes, she would call me back and be like "OH I FORGOT THAT..." It only took twenty or twenty-five times of her doing this for me to get pretty annoyed, and now if she calls back within ten minutes of us hanging up, whatever, she can leave a message, she just has information for me anyway.

now that I'm at college she e-mails me big long e-mails, then e-mails me three minutes later with the tagline "One more thing...", even doing this two or three times. Sometimes she e-mails me something that ends with "I'm going to look up bus prices and times" and e-mails back five minutes later saying "ok so the bus leaves now and now and costs this much." This doesn't happen once in a while. This happens ALWAYS.

This is THE MOST FUCKING ANNOYING THING to me. I come home to five or six e-mails. This isn't like leaving the room and realizing you forgot to bring something up - it's fucking TEXT, sent over the internet. You can consolidate your thoughts before you send me an e-mail. If once in a while you go "oh I left something out" that's fine, but I feel like my mom e-mails me every time she thinks of something instead of going "hey maybe I'll just e-mail him tonight with everything I think of between now and then" or "hey I need to remind my son of something why don't I write a reminder or start a list or something"

I dunno. It bugs me.

Spoiler:

ONE MORE THING

Excellent response.

Artreus

My friend got this from her grandpa about a week ago and sent it to me because she thought I would appreciate it. (She knows how horrible it is and I wanted to see)

Spoiler:

I will refuse this stamp for sure!!!!!!!


CHRISTMAS STAMPS

How ironic is this ??
They don't even believe in Christ and they're getting their own Christmas stamp, but don't dream of posting the ten commandments on federal property?

USPS New Stamp

This one is impossible to believe. Scroll down for the text.


If there is only one thing you forward today.....let it be this!



REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of Pan Am Flight 103!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine Barracks in Lebanon !

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military Barracks in Saudi Arabia !

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in Africa !

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on 9/11/2001 !

REMEMBER all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks!


Now the United States Postal Service REMEMBERS and HONORS the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a commemorative first class
Holiday postage stamp.

REMEMBER to adamantly and vocally BOYCOTT this stamp
When purchasing your stamps at the post office. To use this stamp would be a slap in the face to all those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors.

REMEMBER to pass this along to every Christian and / or Patriotic AMERICAN that
you know !!!

I will let you figure out all of the things that are horribly, horribly wrong with that.

Fiz

My mom sent me the news story about the moose that gave birth on some person's lawn. So cute

Okami

I don't really get emails from my parents

I do get forwarded the weirdest text messages from my dad though

such as this gem from yesterday

"Up on the rooftop, click click click
Santa fell down and broke his dick!
Cracked his nuts on a 2x4
that's why Santa don't cum no more!
ho ho ho"

Faricazy

sort of related, i just found this wonderful page

http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/history/biographies/louis_pasteur.htm

it exposes a milk industry conspiracy dating back 150 years

awesomeee

Faricazy

actually my favorite part is when he says a virus can mutate into a a bacteria

that is amazing

Dead Legend

Defender wrote: »

Michael Moore's views are idiotic and his way of presenting them is highly dishonest.

And he is entirely wrong about everything, ever.

Goatmon

Have scientists still not figured out how viruses are alive?

Faricazy

Goatmon wrote: »

Have scientists still not figured out how viruses are alive?

the death grip the milk industry has on the medical profession is holding them back

Veegeezee

Okami wrote: »

I don't really get emails from my parents

I do get forwarded the weirdest text messages from my dad though

such as this gem from yesterday

"Up on the rooftop, click click click
Santa fell down and broke his dick!
Cracked his nuts on a 2x4
that's why Santa don't cum no more!
ho ho ho"

bahaha

I like your dad

Okami

Veegeezee wrote: »

Okami wrote: »

I don't really get emails from my parents

I do get forwarded the weirdest text messages from my dad though

such as this gem from yesterday

"Up on the rooftop, click click click
Santa fell down and broke his dick!
Cracked his nuts on a 2x4
that's why Santa don't cum no more!
ho ho ho"

bahaha

I like your dad

he is a pretty cool dude

Wallhitter

My dad's got a blog...

Apparently, when I was a young child, I bullied Steve Jobs' son off a swing...according to one story on it.

Cosmic Sombrero

Faricazy wrote: »

actually my favorite part is when he says a virus can mutate into a bacteria

that is amazing

well, that's true

it's called a retrovirus

Faricazy

Cosmic Sombrero wrote: »

Faricazy wrote: »

actually my favorite part is when he says a virus can mutate into a bacteria

that is amazing

well, that's true

it's called a retrovirus

it can infect a cell, rewrite its genome and replicate along with it; it does not simply mutate into a bacteria on it's own accord

read the page, a lot of it is retarded

Campion

Shank or Kusu your mother sounds like a very sweet person. You should be happy that she's always thinking about you.

My mom sends me e-mails to see if I am eating well, it's always her biggest concern because she is not there to stuff me full of food.
She used to forward me junk mail with dumb jokes and inspirational messages, but then I told her to stop it, and she did.

Scalfin

Over the election season, my mom sent me jokes about Palin and gag pictures which I'd seen of the D&D politics thread weeks ago. I have yet to remind her of how hostile she was to me telling her the latest jokes about Clinton during the primaries (I supported Obama).

Druhim

Goatmon wrote: »

Have scientists still not figured out how viruses are alive?

I think you've got your information confused

there's debate over whether viruses count as life

the question as you asked it doesn't make any sense

Faricazy

virus are tiny robot killer drones sent from the future

duhhhh

bowen

Faricazy wrote: »

virus are tiny robot killer drones sent from the future

duhhhh

Skynet is getting desperate.

Faricazy

BEEP BOOP SMALLPOX ERADICATED BOOP BOOOOOOP

Drez

This is exactly why I don't communicate electronically with family members. I get the occasional text message, but that's my limit.

SniperLogic

jwalk wrote: »

The US Census is also mandatory. I don't know what the penalty is for not returning it, maybe not much, but it is required.

Also:

Spoiler:

A minor slap on the wrist. Refusal will net you a $100 fine, falsifying information will bing you for $500. This does not only apply to the decennial census, but also a few annual surveys conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau (the American Community Survey, which is replacing the decennial census long form comes to mind)

However, to the best of my knowledge this has never been enforced.

bowen

SniperLogic wrote: »

jwalk wrote: »

The US Census is also mandatory. I don't know what the penalty is for not returning it, maybe not much, but it is required.

Also:

Spoiler:

A minor slap on the wrist. Refusal will net you a $100 fine, falsifying information will bing you for $500. This does not only apply to the decennial census, but also a few annual surveys conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau (the American Community Survey, which is replacing the decennial census long form comes to mind)

However, to the best of my knowledge this has never been enforced.

Seems kind of redundant, what with tax forms and all.

While not as fine grained as a census it seems like it'd be a fuckton easier and more cost effective to digitize tax records and process it that way.

Probably be just as accurate because people will almost always fill out their tax returns for the $$rebate. As opposed to the people who get the census form and are like "oops burned that by accident."

Langly

Drez wrote: »

This is exactly why I don't communicate electronically with family members. I get the occasional text message, but that's my limit.

my mom just figured out how to text, and she is adorable. I got one from her yesterday that read:

From: Mom

R u coming home before christmas mom

Just to be sure I knew who it was from.

Also I got one that was all one long run-on sentence, the last bit of it was "how do i do puntuation love mom"

SniperLogic

bowen wrote: »

SniperLogic wrote: »

jwalk wrote: »

The US Census is also mandatory. I don't know what the penalty is for not returning it, maybe not much, but it is required.

Also:

Spoiler:

A minor slap on the wrist. Refusal will net you a $100 fine, falsifying information will bing you for $500. This does not only apply to the decennial census, but also a few annual surveys conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau (the American Community Survey, which is replacing the decennial census long form comes to mind)

However, to the best of my knowledge this has never been enforced.

Seems kind of redundant, what with tax forms and all.

While not as fine grained as a census it seems like it'd be a fuckton easier and more cost effective to digitize tax records and process it that way.

Probably be just as accurate because people will almost always fill out their tax returns for the $$rebate. As opposed to the people who get the census form and are like "oops burned that by accident."

Well, it is half-way there...sort of. Tax records are used in quite a few estimation processes.

All you can really gain from IRS records are Age, Sex, Income, dependents, address. This could provide a very rough proxy of the tax paying population by age/sex - perhaps enough to partially allocate governmental seats (which is the consitutional reason for the census) but in no way quite as representative of the entire U.S.

However, this is rather scant information for decisions based upon the whole breadth of information collected by the Census Bureau (of which, there are a lot). The overall story is that the census does a lot of good, much more than most percieve.

bowen

SniperLogic wrote: »

bowen wrote: »

SniperLogic wrote: »

jwalk wrote: »

The US Census is also mandatory. I don't know what the penalty is for not returning it, maybe not much, but it is required.

Also:

Spoiler:

A minor slap on the wrist. Refusal will net you a $100 fine, falsifying information will bing you for $500. This does not only apply to the decennial census, but also a few annual surveys conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau (the American Community Survey, which is replacing the decennial census long form comes to mind)

However, to the best of my knowledge this has never been enforced.

Seems kind of redundant, what with tax forms and all.

While not as fine grained as a census it seems like it'd be a fuckton easier and more cost effective to digitize tax records and process it that way.

Probably be just as accurate because people will almost always fill out their tax returns for the $$rebate. As opposed to the people who get the census form and are like "oops burned that by accident."

Well, it is half-way there...sort of. Tax records are used in quite a few estimation processes.

All you can really gain from IRS records are Age, Sex, Income, dependents, address. This could provide a very rough proxy of the tax paying population by age/sex - perhaps enough to partially allocate governmental seats (which is the consitutional reason for the census) but in no way quite as representative of the entire U.S.

However, this is rather scant information for decisions based upon the whole breadth of information collected by the Census Bureau (of which, there are a lot). The overall story is that the census does a lot of good, much more than most percieve.

What does SS# provide record wise? Do they store anything with that? Meh.

SniperLogic

bowen wrote: »

SniperLogic wrote: »

bowen wrote: »

SniperLogic wrote: »

jwalk wrote: »

The US Census is also mandatory. I don't know what the penalty is for not returning it, maybe not much, but it is required.

Also:

Spoiler:

A minor slap on the wrist. Refusal will net you a $100 fine, falsifying information will bing you for $500. This does not only apply to the decennial census, but also a few annual surveys conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau (the American Community Survey, which is replacing the decennial census long form comes to mind)

However, to the best of my knowledge this has never been enforced.

Seems kind of redundant, what with tax forms and all.

While not as fine grained as a census it seems like it'd be a fuckton easier and more cost effective to digitize tax records and process it that way.

Probably be just as accurate because people will almost always fill out their tax returns for the $$rebate. As opposed to the people who get the census form and are like "oops burned that by accident."

Well, it is half-way there...sort of. Tax records are used in quite a few estimation processes.

All you can really gain from IRS records are Age, Sex, Income, dependents, address. This could provide a very rough proxy of the tax paying population by age/sex - perhaps enough to partially allocate governmental seats (which is the consitutional reason for the census) but in no way quite as representative of the entire U.S.

However, this is rather scant information for decisions based upon the whole breadth of information collected by the Census Bureau (of which, there are a lot). The overall story is that the census does a lot of good, much more than most percieve.

What does SS# provide record wise? Do they store anything with that? Meh.

Yep, that is used as well - particuarly for tracking elderly populations which are a bit more difficult to measure via traditional means.

It may not seem like it - but every single question the Census Bureau collects must have a reason germane to the operation of the government. Nothing is superflous. I could go on and on about just how technical, difficult, and important it is to collect all that information, but that would be one hell of a derail (moreso, anyway). I'll just say of all the government agencies out there, the Census Bureau is probably one of the most benign and operated with an eye for integrity and (gasp!) science. It is not quite a "big brother" situation that many fear.

EDIT: Dur, spelling.

babyeatingjesus

My dad sent an email saying "sorry for calling you a pussy" out yesterday.

Whooops wrong address, sent to a customer, a 65 year old woman who's sweet as apple pie.

He went OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO for a couple minutes then called her to explain.

Maybe she thought he was talking about a kitten.

Richard M. Nixon

Cosmic Sombrero wrote: »

Faricazy wrote: »

actually my favorite part is when he says a virus can mutate into a bacteria

that is amazing

well, that's true

it's called a retrovirus

no, this is a retrovirus:

Mysst

hahahaha, yes

FirmSkater

"Actually grandpa Christmas is a Pagen holiday and Jesus probably hates you for celebrating it."

Richard M. Nixon

i'm not sure why all i seem to draw are viruses lately