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Dumb Emails From Parents

2456712

Posts

  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    your dad sounds like a rad dude

    Koshian on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited December 2008
    Defender wrote: »
    fuck the elderly

    false teeth speak false truths

    I like this.

    Because you're an idiot, I guess? I mean, this is just a guess, but let me know if it's close.
    You are without a doubt the dumest bastard I've came across in quite a while.

    Rankenphile on
  • GoatmonGoatmon I'm nodding. Is everyone else nodding?Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Jordyn wrote: »
    My mom doesn't e-mail.

    She does text me sometimes, but they're always well-written, grammatically correct text messages.

    My Mom has good grammar, though she's terrible with technology.

    My Dad, though, he's got the worst grammar of anyone I've met. He never finished Middle School.

    Goatmon on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Lord Dave wrote: »
    Did you know that in the original Bible, instead of "sheep" it said "banana"

    I refuse to pull out the urtext so this is now true

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited December 2008
    Stationary wrote: »
    Oh and then she started rambling about "how I'm not saying I believe it but Barack Obama does have a lot in common with the anti-Christ depicted in revelations" sooooo my extended family is bat-shit insane.
    I'm not saying I believe it, but it's sort of a crazy coincidence that drinking an entire bottle of Robitussin before going to a laser show is totally fucking sweet.

    Rankenphile on
  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User
    edited December 2008
    my mom emails me basically whenever tom friedman or maureen dowd writes an editorial

    Randall_Flagg on
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    also no one really knows when Christ was born

    obviously we are using a different calendar now, and I think that they picked the date to celebrate it just so they could override a pagan holiday with a Christian one

    there are multiple theories though, pretty interesting

    Sara Lynn on
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The fuck that thought they should put asterisks at the beginning and end of each line should be slowly murdered.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    edited December 2008
    My dad sometimes sends funny shit.

    Like the time he linked me "INTELLIGENT DESIGN FOR DUMMIES" with the subject of "I couldn't make this shit up if I tried"

    Wallhitter on
  • StationaryStationary Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    So I saw Son of Rambow today. That was a pretty good movie.

    I saw it a week or ago and thought it was great. Its just a really warm movie and by the end I was just sitting there with the biggest grin on my face.

    Stationary on
  • GoatmonGoatmon I'm nodding. Is everyone else nodding?Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    My dad sometimes sends funny shit.

    Like the time he linked me "INTELLIGENT DESIGN FOR DUMMIES" with the subject of "I couldn't make this shit up if I tried"

    Fundies Say The Dardest Things is pretty much centered around this.

    Goatmon on
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Stationary wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    So I saw Son of Rambow today. That was a pretty good movie.

    I saw it a week or ago and thought it was great. Its just a really warm movie and by the end I was just sitting there with the biggest grin on my face.

    Yeah, it was a really sweet movie in general.

    IT'S A FLYING DOG

    Moriveth on
    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    did you tell him that according to calendar changes, christ was actually born somewhere in september or so according to current calendars?

    I think the funnier fact is that we now believe he was born around 4 BC.

    Speed Racer on
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    my mom doesn't really use email for anything beyond business

    Koshian on
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Jordyn wrote: »
    My mom doesn't e-mail.

    She does text me sometimes, but they're always well-written, grammatically correct text messages.

    That's how my texts look, by my mom is all "r u coming 2 dinner?"

    Defender on
    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • TheClarksterTheClarkster Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My dad spends his day at work browsing aint it cool news and sends me random articles about BSG, only to tell me that he doesn't understand what they're talking about.
    And I'm pretty sure my mom hasn't mastered e-mail yet.

    I guess I should consider myself lucky.

    TheClarkster on
    Waka
    Waka

    Flocka
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus GRAND ATTACK!Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    my parents don't really send me emails

    also they are pretty smart people

    Centipede Damascus on
  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My godmother sends me emails.

    Mostly terrible and in portuguese.

    Muse Among Men on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I would freak out if my mom started texting me.

    She's bad enough about drunk dialing without having a whole new medium to bother me with.

    Poorochondriac on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My godmother sends me emails.

    Mostly terrible and in portuguese.

    Is she Portugese, or does she just think it's funny?

    All writing a normal e-mail then running it through Babel before sending it

    Poorochondriac on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Defender wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    My mom doesn't e-mail.

    She does text me sometimes, but they're always well-written, grammatically correct text messages.

    That's how my texts look, by my mom is all "r u coming 2 dinner?"

    I always text with correct grammar for some reason.

    And my mom always does that, like "tlk 2 john abot tht monex please"

    And I'm like what the oh.

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • ShankusuShankusu __BANNED USERS
    edited December 2008
    my mom sends me e-mails of the opposite ilk

    LOLBUSH stuff, chemtrail stuff, the e-mail about how cell phone radiation can be used to pop popcorn

    one day I was sitting with my laptop on my lap and she walks in and goes "don't you worry about the radiation?" and I search the internet and find numerous studies describing how utterly minimal the radiation from a computer is

    I show them to her and she goes "sure, if you believe that" which pretty well sums up my mother

    the day I get a FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: e-mail from my dad is the day I am ice-skating in hell, pigs flying, etc

    Shankusu on
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    My mom doesn't e-mail.

    She does text me sometimes, but they're always well-written, grammatically correct text messages.

    That's how my texts look, by my mom is all "r u coming 2 dinner?"

    I always text with correct grammar for some reason.

    And my mom always does that, like "tlk 2 john abot tht monex please"

    And I'm like what the oh.
    I do this too.

    My parents don't send me emails because they could just come upstairs or wherever I am in the house.

    I don't think they send my older brothers emails though, so this bodes well for me when I am off to college. I don't think I would get much from them. Maybe a Jesus forward from my mom every now and then.

    SirToasty on
  • StationaryStationary Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Stationary wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    So I saw Son of Rambow today. That was a pretty good movie.

    I saw it a week or ago and thought it was great. Its just a really warm movie and by the end I was just sitting there with the biggest grin on my face.

    Yeah, it was a really sweet movie in general.

    IT'S A FLYING DOG

    sonoframbow_l.jpg

    nearly fell off my couch laughing at that.

    Stationary on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I would freak out if my mom started texting me.

    She's bad enough about drunk dialing without having a whole new medium to bother me with.

    Does she drunk dial you to ask what Penguin's number is?

    In this hypothetical she has sexual desires for him

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • McClyMcCly Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My dad always sends me links to slashdot articles.

    McCly on
    kbellchewiesig.jpg
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    I would freak out if my mom started texting me.

    She's bad enough about drunk dialing without having a whole new medium to bother me with.

    Does she drunk dial you to ask what Penguin's number is?

    In this hypothetical she has sexual desires for him

    It's more like calling to talk about how much she misses me and what a good kid I am.

    Which is far more uncomfortable than if she was making sexual advances at my friends, honestly.

    Poorochondriac on
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Stationary wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Stationary wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    So I saw Son of Rambow today. That was a pretty good movie.

    I saw it a week or ago and thought it was great. Its just a really warm movie and by the end I was just sitting there with the biggest grin on my face.

    Yeah, it was a really sweet movie in general.

    IT'S A FLYING DOG

    sonoframbow_l.jpg

    nearly fell off my couch laughing at that.

    Yeah that was great

    and the bit at the end
    when they throw Joshua out, and you see him walk out and then hear "yaaay!"

    that was great

    Moriveth on
    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My cousins usually send dumb things. Stuff like "What is your IQ?!!?!?!"

    Lucky Cynic on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    I would freak out if my mom started texting me.

    She's bad enough about drunk dialing without having a whole new medium to bother me with.

    Does she drunk dial you to ask what Penguin's number is?

    In this hypothetical she has sexual desires for him

    It's more like calling to talk about how much she misses me and what a good kid I am.

    Which is far more uncomfortable than if she was making sexual advances at my friends, honestly.

    YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY DO YOU THINK I WAS A GOOD MOTHER BLAAAAAAAAAGH

    More like that? I think the most uncomfortable call I ever got from my family was when my mom called me up from her work to tell me something but she forgot what, but she was between patients and was certain it was important so I had to guess what

    After guessing obvious stuff wrong a few times I asked if she crapped her pants and needed a new pair. No, but that reminded her of why she called!

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Clock King Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    HEY GOATMON OUT OF CURIOSITY DOES YOUR CRAZY FUNDAMENTALIST FATHER KNOW YOU LIKE TO FUCK ANIMALS

    ThatDudeOverThere on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    HEY GOATMON OUT OF CURIOSITY DOES YOUR CRAZY FUNDAMENTALIST FATHER KNOW YOU LIKE TO FUCK ANIMALS

    CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

    Lucky Cynic on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Sometimes I send Lucky Cynic emails asking him to take naked pictures for me because he's actually a pretty handsome guy

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    HEY GOATMON OUT OF CURIOSITY DOES YOUR CRAZY FUNDAMENTALIST FATHER KNOW YOU LIKE TO FUCK ANIMALS

    It's why they can't have a live nativty scene anymore

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    Sometimes I send Lucky Cynic emails asking him to take naked pictures for me because he's actually a pretty handsome guy

    I was so surprised

    weren't you surprised

    I was surprised

    Raneados on
    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    Fiz wrote: »
    Sometimes I send Lucky Cynic emails asking him to take naked pictures for me because he's actually a pretty handsome guy

    I was so surprised

    weren't you surprised

    I was surprised

    I was surprised. People should have looks that match their personalities. It'd teach fat people a lesson, that's for sure

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • StationaryStationary Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Stationary wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Stationary wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    So I saw Son of Rambow today. That was a pretty good movie.

    I saw it a week or ago and thought it was great. Its just a really warm movie and by the end I was just sitting there with the biggest grin on my face.

    Yeah, it was a really sweet movie in general.

    IT'S A FLYING DOG

    sonoframbow_l.jpg

    nearly fell off my couch laughing at that.

    Yeah that was great

    and the bit at the end
    when they throw Joshua out, and you see him walk out and then hear "yaaay!"

    that was great

    Yes! There were just so many great parts that had me nearly on the floor.

    at the lake
    "What do you mean you cant swim? .... OH SHIT"

    and compared to everything else I've been watching recently it was nice to just sit down relax and enjoy something so simple.

    Its kind of like how I can still watch The Sandlot any time its on, its just fun.

    Stationary on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    Fiz wrote: »
    I would freak out if my mom started texting me.

    She's bad enough about drunk dialing without having a whole new medium to bother me with.

    Does she drunk dial you to ask what Penguin's number is?

    In this hypothetical she has sexual desires for him

    It's more like calling to talk about how much she misses me and what a good kid I am.

    Which is far more uncomfortable than if she was making sexual advances at my friends, honestly.

    YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY DO YOU THINK I WAS A GOOD MOTHER BLAAAAAAAAAGH

    More like that? I think the most uncomfortable call I ever got from my family was when my mom called me up from her work to tell me something but she forgot what, but she was between patients and was certain it was important so I had to guess what

    After guessing obvious stuff wrong a few times I asked if she crapped her pants and needed a new pair. No, but that reminded her of why she called!

    Pretty much that, yeah.

    "I MISS HAVING YOU AROUND *HICCUP* OUR FAMILY ALWAYS HAS SUCH GOOD JOKES *HICCUP* WHY DO YOU LIVE SO FAR AWAY *HICCUP*"

    I mean, it's nice and all, but I'm just not used to praise from her and don't really know how to respond.

    Poorochondriac on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    Fiz wrote: »
    Sometimes I send Lucky Cynic emails asking him to take naked pictures for me because he's actually a pretty handsome guy

    I was so surprised

    weren't you surprised

    I was surprised

    I was surprised. People should have looks that match their personalities. It'd teach fat people a lesson, that's for sure

    Well, my personality is that I am a tease and don't share.


    So naturally I'd be a handsome lad.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Next time she asks what you are up to tell her that you took naked pictures for homosexuals you don't know

    Unless you want to go to Disney on Wednesday. Then it's for homosexuals you mostly don't know

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
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