Dumb Emails From Parents

Veretas

giving my dad's mother my e-mail was the worst decision I have ever made

Fandyien

we're supposed to venerate our elders, faggots

redhead

Fandyien wrote: »

we're supposed to venerate our elders, faggots

I'm not sure what this word means so I'm going to assume it has something to do with giving them venereal diseases

so, way ahead of you

Fandyien

basically it means you have to rub your genitals on anyone over the age of 60

Cosmic Sombrero

Fandyien

I like that the hero is naked

DirtyDirtyVagrant

It is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December. For one, the shepherds would not have had their sheep out to flock. The Israeli winters are too cold.

Fandyien

seeing as he was born on the moon that hardly matters does it

Clint Eastwood

it all makes sense now

Jesus is one of the space lizardmen!

Dog

jesus was built in a factory anyways

NotASenator

that made me laugh, Fandy.

I don't know why.


Pooro and Cynic, send me pics so I can be gay like Fiz.

Cosmic Sombrero

my dad had a fucking blog

it's still up too, even though he stopped updating it

Captain Cthulhu

Goatmon, you seriously have the dumbest dad. I would be embarrassed if I was his child.

Clint Eastwood

Captain Cthulhu wrote: »

Goatmon, you seriously have the dumbest dad. I would be embarrassed if I was his child.

goatmon embarrasses himself just fine

Mysst

my grandparents were in town and checking their email on my computer when they read one off that mirrored teddy roosevelt's political experience to sara palin's.

Why my grandparents think palin is so great is fucking beyond me.

Fiz

Cloudman wrote: »

Captain Cthulhu wrote: »

Goatmon, you seriously have the dumbest dad. I would be embarrassed if I was his child.

goatmon embarrasses himself just fine

You guys wanna see his fursona?

Druhim

nooooooooooo

Veretas

Is it a goat?

Sara Lynn

goat man

Fiz

You would think so

Tube should change his name so it matches his fursona

Silmaril

Sara Lynn wrote: »

goat man

He's a Jamaican goat man.

Veretas

guys, The Brave One is a really good fucking movie

Centipede Damascus

DirtyDirtyVagrant wrote: »

It is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December. For one, the shepherds would not have had their sheep out to flock. The Israeli winters are too cold.

so you're saying Jesus wasn't coincidentally born on the day of the winter solstice?

blasphemy!

Mysst

Druhim wrote: »

nooooooooooo

boo to that!

Captain Cthulhu

Centipede Damascus wrote: »

DirtyDirtyVagrant wrote: »

It is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December. For one, the shepherds would not have had their sheep out to flock. The Israeli winters are too cold.

so you're saying Jesus wasn't coincidentally born on the day of the winter solstice?

blasphemy!

Before it was celebrated as the birthday of Christ, it was celebrated as the birthday of Mithras, who, coincidentally, was also called the son of god and the "light of the world." Unlike Christ, however, Mithras wasn't born from a woman, he bust straight out of a boulder as a full grown adult, with rippling biceps and a jaw that could cut glass. After performing a series of miraculous events, Mithras ascended into heaven.

Mysst

did mithras have an erection when he was birthed, thus coining, "between a rock and a hard place"?

Captain Cthulhu

Yes. I didn't think I needed to bother explaining that part.

Mysst

I just like to be as precise as possible. You never know what might get contributed to the wrong origins anymore.

Raneados

it's well documented that jesus never got a boner in his life and was a total dork with the ladies

Voodoo861

lies jesus hung out with whores

Captain Cthulhu

All you need to know about Jesus

MrMonroe

Subject: Fwd: Real Virus

Spoiler:

Forwarding this:

HUGE VIRUS COMING
> _http://www.snopes. <http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp_>;
com/computer/virus/postcard.asp_
> (http://www.snopes. <http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp>;
com/computer/virus/postcard.asp)
>
> Hi All, checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this
> virus. I checked Snopes (URL above:), and it is for real.
> Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP.
> PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS!
>
> You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with

> an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,' regardless of who sent it

> to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the
whole
> hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who
has
> your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you
need
> to let all your contacts know about this. &n bsp;It is better to receive
> this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.
>
> If you receive a mail called' POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a
> friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately.
>
> This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by
> Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by
McAfee
> yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus
> simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital
information is
> kept.
>

/facepalm

There is a link, in this e-mail, to a Snopes article which debunks this whole fucking thing.

Richard M. Nixon

My parents are pretty good about not sending me stupid crap. Other people I know however ought to have their computing licenses revoked

I got an email the other day that had three copies of the same stupid 'inspirational' email in-line and one more as an attachment.

I have gone to a 'no strikes' system. The first time somebody sends me something stupid like that, I make a filter in gmail that moves their stuff directly to the garbage. I figure if they really want to get in touch with me they can find my phone number.

Goatmon

The Geek wrote: »

Fiz wrote: »

I'd gladly trade Goatmon and Lucky Cynic to get Talon back

Talon's a good kid. He also enjoys sleeping in closets.

He still lurks, it seems. He hasn't posted anything since last month, though.

Raneados

his girl's around though

jwalk

The only holiday this season is Christmas eh? No other holidays at all around this time of year, eh?

Not even say, New Years?

MeeOk

My parents are freaking awful about sending me stupid forwards. At least they know of the existence of snopes, and don't send me dumb conspiracy things, and the like. They are crazy religious nuts though.. almost all of my family is Christian Scientists. And I got yelled at a ridiculous amount when I told them I didn't believe in their religion, at age 8. So I ate my words, until I moved out. They're still sending me religious articles, four years later. And they think that needle marks on my arm from having blood drawn, and an iv stuck in my vein are because I'm doing drugs. *face palm*

CrossBuster

My dad sent me a photo of a moose trying to have sex with a large statue of a moose.

The caption read "Is this a monumental error, or statutory rape?"

SirToasty

CrossBuster wrote: »

My dad sent me a photo of a moose trying to have sex with a large statue of a moose.

The caption read "Is this a monumental error, or statutory rape?"

:lol:

PiptheFair

superdeluxe is so awesome