Help with a suicidal friend

BenMCOB

I really need some help, but I don't have much time to write this out as I don't want to leave them alone. A friend of mine is going through a very tough period which I won't go into too much detail about but involves one asshole of an abusive partner who's now trying to deny her rights to see her child, which has pretty much left her in a very suicidal state. She's also had 3 beers and being a fairly small person she's somewhat drunk already and keeps trying to talk another friend into lending her some medication to help her feel better. She's tried to overdose twice so far in the past few weeks and went to have some time alone outside about 20 minutes ago with a razor sharp knife before we managed to stop her.

A couple of great friends are with her right now trying to calm her down, but I'm not too experienced in situations like this, so I'm not really sure what I can do to help and what the big DOs and DON'Ts of the situation are. I've already hidden any and all sharp objects away in my room where she can't get hold of them so that's one less worry for now. I won't be able to check this for constantly to read any advice offered as I don't want to keep away from her too long while she's like this.

Any help at all will be greatly appreciated right now.

Demitri

Ensure someone is with her all of the time. Including bathroom time.

Call 1-800-SUICIDE as they are going to be far more likely to give you an educated and authoritative answer on the subject than any of us here.

naporeon

I will tell you that, after having gone through the experience of losing two friends to suicide, and knowing a couple people who indicated (or "threatened," to be less clinical), you are doing pretty well right now.

People who actually want to die will usually spurn human contact. Most genuinely suicidal people will give little indication, and certainly won't talk about it; they will want to be alone (and not in a petulant, "leave me alone" sort of way), and will find a way to do it without attracting immediate attention. I'm not saying don't worry about this girl; but I think that the odds are good that if you can actually keep her interested in staying around you and the other friends you're talking about, you should be able to see her through it.

EDIT: The suicide hotline idea is great. If she's willing to do it, do it. If not, call and see what advice they can give.

BenMCOB

Demitri wrote:

Ensure someone is with her all of the time. Including bathroom time.

We're a house of students here so we're used to pulling all-nighters when neccessary so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Call 1-800-SUICIDE as they are going to be far more likely to give you an educated and authoritative answer on the subject than any of us here.

I'm in the UK so I'm fairly certain I can't use that number, but thinking about it googling for a UK one shouldn't be too hard.

naporeon wrote:

People who actually want to die will usually spurn human contact. Most genuinely suicidal people will give little indication, and certainly won't talk about it; they will want to be alone (and not in a petulant, "leave me alone" sort of way), and will find a way to do it without attracting immediate attention. I'm not saying don't worry about this girl; but I think that the odds are good that if you can actually keep her interested in staying around you and the other friends you're talking about, you should be able to see her through it.

She doesn't seem to be desperately trying to get everyone around her to leave her alone so that at least is making things a little more hopeful. She didn't seem to concerned about hiding the knife when she tried to go outside earlier. She managed to break two of her fingers the other day and damage some of her ligiments and tendons when she punched a wall, and has tried to do that a few more times today, so I'm still going to make sure a solid eye's kept on her. I forgot to mention earlier, but she's also manic-depressive, so her mood tends to be a tad erratic at times anyway.

She's calmed down a bit now and another good friend of hers is coming over to visit, so things are starting to look up a little.

edit: Ok scratch that. She went to the toilet when I left for a moment and tried to slip her wrists with a razorblade which I stupidly didn't think to remove from the bathroom when I took the knives. Thankfully all the ones we had were cheap blunt disposable ones which have trouble cutting hair, let alone skin and veins. I'm a little loathe to leave her alone now so I don't know if I'll be able to check this again tonight. If anyone has any more advice on how I can help her after this please let me know and I'll respond tomorrow at some point.

Demitri

Told you, no alone time, not even bathroom...

Black Ice

She doesn't sound like she's in any form to be in public, or in a university like she is right now.

You need to find some professional advice. The equivalent of 911 in the UK, or anything like that.. it is an emergency if she's attempting to kill herself at this frequency. It sounds like she's tried around 5 times in the past 2 weeks, and in the past 24 hours once or twice - it's getting worse, or at least on paper it seems to be.

I don't know why you haven't done it yet, seeing that your friend's life is at stake, but here is a list of numbers in the UK you can use for help.

Good luck..and heed demitri's advice, don't let her be alone, even in the bathroom. It's her life; her privacy NEEDS to be sacrificed.

Feral

My suggestion is this: if she continues to threaten or attempt self-injury, discreetly ask a friend to call the police and don't leave her alone until they arrive. In my opinion, she has already attempted to hurt herself and trying to figure out whether she "actually wants to die" or not isn't really going to help you - whether she acts deliberately or impulsively, there is still a risk of serious injury to herself or others. In the few situations when I've been in the position you are in I have never once regretted the decision to obtain professional help.

CangoFett

Wikipedia says 08457 90 90 90 is the number for the Samaritans crisis line.

Accualt

I'm not an expert but if she's tried that much tonight I'd take her to a hospital and have them put her under suicide watch while she sobers up.

BenMCOB

We were on the phone to the district nurse right after she tried again with the razorblades. She's at the hospital now with another couple of friends who are giving to ring here in a bit. Just to add the icing to the cake ANOTHER friend started throwing up blood thanks to a ulcer due to the stress of everything going on. When it rains it pours I guess.

Demitri wrote:

Told you, no alone time, not even bathroom...

The irony is I read that message while she went to the bathroom. After that we stayed with her every second until the ambulence got here. She was a bit more willing to talk, and it turns out that most of her injuries that we knew about (and a few that we didn't) weren't caused in the way we originally thought they were. I'll probably have another thread up regarding how to deal with a friend's abusive boyfriends when I'm feeling a bit more level-headed.

Thanks for all your advice people.

Daemon_Aconis

BenMCOB wrote:

I'll probably have another thread up regarding how to deal with a friend's abusive boyfriends when I'm feeling a bit more level-headed.

Investigate these first. For the love of god, don't just take her word for it in the middle of a suicidal streak.

Best of luck to you, it sounds like you're a good person, in a shitty situation.