Okay, I'm going to try really hard to not make this sound like whining,. It's bad feelings over a friend's bad luck versus my good luck, and also life in general.
I'll note she's female if that helps, but it's not a girl thread. We've been best friends since high school, she's my one person I can tell everything to, that kind of friend.
Now, recently, things have been going great for me. I'm in university, working two part time jobs that are pretty decent, and doing well in my courses. I live at home, and while I can't afford to move out, I've saved up enough to live comfortably in my own space with my family I actually like. And to top it off, I just recently started dating a girl, and things are going swimmingly, I must say. So yeah, life is good, right?
Thing is, hers hasn't been going so well. She's been single for about two years now, and while we talk about relationships not defining a person, I've seen it wear on her. She's been trying fiercely but hasn't met the right guy for her yet and has been in some horrible, damaging relationships before that. It led to a spat of alcoholism awhile back, but she got through it, and she's pretty clean now. Also, more importantly, she just found out that the company she's working for is drastically downsizing due to the economy, meaning she might not have a job in the new year. In addition, her father's job is at risk, too (at the same company), and they've both had hours cut. Also, her university, unlike mine, has been on strike for several months now, with no sign of resuming, so there's the added stress of her being at home during all of this, and the mental stress of wondering when it'll end, how courses will be made up, whether she's wasted her tuition, etc. This has made her extremely depressed, but she's a smart girl, so I'm not worried about her safety or anything.
Now, I've offered to help out in any way I can, though it's kind of a moot point, as she's one of those people that prefers independence above everything else. I'm aware there's not much I can do except be there and listen to her. I guess what I'm asking is how do I deal with my feelings over this?
I guess the best way to describe it, and here's where I hope it doesn't sound like whining, is, I kind of get distraught over the fact that things are going well for me, but not for her. I don't consider myself a bad person, I try to live life in a good way, but at the same time, I feel like I haven't earned what I have as much as she has earned it, but doesn't have it, and it bothers me.
And it's not just her, either. I know friends who have divorced parents, or even if the parents are together, they have serious issues, I know friends with money troubles, serious relationship troubles, trying not to flunk out of school, serious depression, things like that. I have none of these. I suppose I should be thankful, but I feel so guilty, and so sad for them sometimes, I'm not really sure how to deal with it in a way that won't seem spoiled. The fact is they're all good people, and I feel like they haven't been treated fairly by life, while I've been treated too fairly, and some of what I got should have gone to them.
A couple friends, it's gotten to the point where I feel like I can barely talk to them, as I actually don't want to bring up grades or relationships or my home life or money, depending on who it is. I still try and talk to them though. It's gotten more to the point where I just listen and don't say much.
So, residents of H/A, I'm not sure what my question is, probably something like, how do I cope with this feeling I have about my best friend, my other friends, there status, and my status, and about how life isn't fair to them?
I'm not trying to turn it into some kind of "abloo abloo life sucks" thing because it doesn't. Its the fact that the lives of people I care about suck in ways that were purely luck, and that I can't do much about, and I feel guilt over everything.
Edit: I'm not rich or anything. Just secure.