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[Hesher] Hardboiled and Still Hellbound

METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User
HESHER
n.

1. See also Butt Rocker.

2. Any form of rock music and / or listener, sporting a mullet, eye makeup, hairspray, tight acid washed jeans and hi-top Reeboks.

Don't ask me - the title comes from the fey will of the mods above.

Welcome to the Grand Battalion Nekrokreuz Sigma Save the Avanc Bakesale: Convocation at Tain Hollow (aka let's talk about cool music and satan and stuff). You may have entered a hesher, but you'll leave on a screaming motorcycle driven by wings of liquid fire. From hell.

Thank you for joining us. At this time, we'll have a field report from top fairies Sirenia:
Over the seven seals of fate
A thousand miles away
Your destiny awaits
Over the seven seals of fate
Your free will lies asleep
Behind the fortune's gates

At the market in town just for two coins a yellow little bird my father bought for me.
But here comes the cat
and eats the bird
that in the market
my father bought for me.

At the market in town
there was a dog
that bit the cat
that eats the bird
my father bought for me.
But here comes the water
and wets the dog
that bites the cat
that eats the bird
that in the market
my father bought for me.

At the market in town
there was a horse
that spilled the water
that wet the dog
that bit the cat
that eat the bird

But here comes the man
that whips the horse
that spills the water
that wets the dog
that bites the cat
that eats the bird
my father bought for me.

At the market in town just for two coins a yellow little bird my father bought for me.
But the angel of death
visits the man
that whipped the horse
that spilled the water
that wet the dog
that bit the cat
that eat the bird
that in the market
my father bought for me.
Thank you for that, Sirenia. You have truly blessed the world with your ethereal creations.


HELLELUJAH - 2008 IS DEAD

It was a year of evil, with a plentiful black metal harvest offset by severe funeral blights. Here are our top album picks for the year for you squabble over and pick apart.
Spoiler:

So what does 2009 have in store? I'd like to reserve this space for this year's releases, whether they're pending or released, and review links if available:

new Summoning y/n/plz?!

Spoiler:


Some basic guidelines for people just joining up with us:
  • we know that dethklok are the brutalest
  • we know that Dragonforce are the noodliest
  • we know that Opeth is some craaaazy shit, dog
  • we do, in fact, not look down upon Between the Buried and Me
  • we do, in fact, look down harshly upon Killswitch Engage

Please keep in mind - kvlties just wanna have fun. If you can dig that, bring your black leather and come masturbate with us to the butteriest riffs this side of the gulf of Darien.

And, when you're itching for some more meat in your metal, follow this lovely portal of a picture for all the reviews you could shake a cock at.
dustreturnedcs9.jpg

Let's not forget those that came before!
PA.fm 2007 review thread
Our first community review blog
July 06 to April 07
June to December 08

METAzraeL on

dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
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Posts

  • AdrenalineAdrenaline Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    hahaha Darkthrown. You have to turn in your kvltbadge now.

    Anyway, I thought we were dumping hesher because of Nickelback or something? My random suggestion:

    [Metal] Hardboiled and Still Hellbound

    Which part of fuck off don't you get?

    We are hardboiled and still fucking hellbound
    We don't give a flying fuck
    We are hardboiled and still fucking hellbound
    Fuck off you fucking useless cunts

    I will show you fear in a handful of dust
  • ElkiElki hegemon globalSuper Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited January 2009
    METAzraeL wrote: »
    also, I <3 Elki forever and ever

    I appreciate the noncrappy OP.

  • METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User
    edited January 2009
    Elki wrote: »
    METAzraeL wrote: »
    also, I <3 Elki forever and ever

    I appreciate the noncrappy OP.
    Nothing shows that better than a unicorn. Yeah, these threads need more introduction for new kids, not to mention something constructive to show for themselves.

    In other news, I really like this Wardruna. Most of it is pretty simple, but it has such a warm tone. The chanting is exquisite, too. Mm, now I'm imagining the Russian folksters doing some straight pagan chant music. I would love to just hear the Arkona singer.
    Adrenaline wrote: »
    [Metal] Hardboiled and Still Hellbound

    That's straightforward, but it's got a nice kick to it. Ok, this is the last change for the title tonight. Unless Auto comes in tomorrow and says otherwise, we're sticking with this.


    dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
    sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
  • AdrenalineAdrenaline Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I just noticed "Save the Avanc Bakesale"

    :D

    I will show you fear in a handful of dust
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    METAzraeL wrote: »
    Yeah, I didn't even really listen to their debut til I got the new one, so I didn't realize they went from batshit crazy folk metal to something more pleasant. The new album definitely isn't amazing, but it's nice to wind down to.

    So where's your list, eh?

    Ehh, I'm gonna feel like constantly changing this, and the order isn't really thought out, but I'll give it a go:

    1. Amon Amarth - Twilight of The Thundergod
    2. Hail of Bullets - ...Of Frost and War
    3. Týr - Land
    4. Moonsorrow - Tulimyrsky
    5. Bloodbath - The Fathomless Mastery
    6. Enslaved - Vertebrae
    7. Meshuggah - obZen
    8. Agalloch - The White (don't hurt me)
    9. Equilibrium - Sagas
    10. Kalmah - For the Revolution
    11. Falchion - Chronicles of the Dead
    12. Darkthrone - Dark Thrones and Black Flags (hiking metal punks? how can you not love it)
    13. Arghoslent - Hornets of the Pogrom

    There's 13 because I'm non-conformist as fuck. Is being unlucky kvlt?

  • METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User
    edited January 2009
    adren - that's my favourite part :D

    llama, agalloch's ep was fucking good. I love that shit.


    dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
    sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Well, here's my top 10 for 2008. I didn't really listen all that much stuff that was released in 2008, so I had maybe 12 albums to put into a list. Anyhow, my top 10 is based strictly on the highly analytical rubric of "which do I remember listening the most?".

    1. Amon Amarth - Twilight of the Thunder God
    2. SIG:AR:TYR - Beyond the North Winds
    3. Eluveitie - Slania
    4. Ayreon - 01011001
    5. Opeth - Watershed
    6. Dark Empire - Humanity Dethroned
    7. Lifelover - Konkurs
    8. Stormlord - Mare Nostrum
    9. Kalmah - For the Revolution
    10. Obtest - Gyvybes Medis

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  • AdrenalineAdrenaline Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    The White EP ruled, I considered including it in my top 20.

    I will show you fear in a handful of dust
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    "But what of the true god, to whose glory churches and monasteries have been built on these islands for generations past? Now sir, what of him?"

    "Oh, He's dead. Can't complain. He had his chance and, in modern parlance, blew it."

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Whoa wait Satyricon put out a good CD?

    That Volcano business was awful.

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  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Interesting interview about that Asmegin album. Turns out that they've got a sequel to their first album that they're slowly working on, but Napalm records pushed them to release something this year, so they decided to make something easy to do quickly and keep working on the other album over a longer period. They recorded and mixed the whole thing from june to august, fuck.

  • METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User
    edited January 2009
    ha, I guess that makes sense, then. I still dig it, though. I'll be interested to see what they do with the next full length.

    DUE, I think if you haven't liked recent Satyricon material, The Age of Nero probably won't change your opinion much. I think it's a fun sing-along album with catchy, restrained music. Here's the best song from it:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FEbEWnnQRo

    I've added a list of 2009 albums to the op. It's far from extensive, but I'll add anything you guys are looking forward to, and definitely anything that gets reviewed.


    dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
    sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
  • Futt BuckerFutt Bucker Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I guess I have to make a list to post here now.

    1. Darkthrone - Dark Thrones and Black Flags
    2. Amon Amarth - Twilight Of The Thunder God
    3. Tyr - Land
    4. Gloomy Grim - Under The Spell Of The Unlight
    5. Arghoslent - Hornets Of The Pogrom

    I didn't really get much this year.

    My color is black to the blind
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Oh shit, hornets of the Pogrom was this year? Adding to the list with a frowny face, as it's necessary to hate yourself while listening to Arghoslent.

  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I was going to post my lowest scored review yet in the blog, of Doro's new album, but I couldn't bring myself to waste any more time on this horrendous pile of shit.

    Could we possibly put Adren's blog banner in the OP? And mention the review site (I know there are a few links to specific reviews).
    I guess I have to make a list to post here now.

    1. Darkthrone - Dark Thrones and Black Flags

    Also...this! Right on!

  • HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Alrighty, I know this is the metal thread and bringing up poppy metalcore bands is bad karma, but I'm going to anyway.

    A few months ago I picked up Of Love and Lunacy, the first album by Still Remains. I was pleasantly surprised. There was an interesting, variable atmosphere generated by some heavy handed instrumentals and musical diversity. The vocals involved more death metal than I was expecting, and I can still successfully listen to the album to this day without being bored.

    I then made the mistake of assuming the next Still Remains album, The Serpent, would also be pleasantly surprising. I HATE it when I do that... They went for a "cleaner" sound that showed "their growth as musicians". It felt more like regression into a one-note, repetitive tracks with borderline infuriating vocals.

    /rant /rant

    TiSBcast.com - Home of This is Serious Business, a weekly roundtable podcast involving media, beer, and general merriment.
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    It's better than Fuel for Hatred.

    steam_sig.png
  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Out of curiosity, how do you guys feel about Unearth? I really love the guys, but I know there is animosity between the different types of metal. I want just want to see if the general PA public opinion of them is high or not.

    Games completed recently: Dragon's Crown, Knights of Pen and Paper, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (20th time), Defender's Quest, The Witcher
  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    urahonky wrote: »
    Out of curiosity, how do you guys feel about Unearth? I really love the guys, but I know there is animosity between the different types of metal. I want just want to see if the general PA public opinion of them is high or not.

    Unearth is from my state, I used to know Ken a little. He used to go to one of my old band's shows, or vice versa. They are definitely a legitimate band who have been working hard at what they do long before the term 'metalcore' was a household name. It's hard not to be proud that they made a success of themselves. That said, on a musical level, their albums don't do it for me.

    As far as the different types of metal, they are all welcome to be discussed here. There is no real consensus of opinions in these threads, we are all a little different (okay, maybe the few MET highlighted in the OP are sort of consensual). There is good metalcore and there is bad metalcore, just like good and bad black metal, thrash, power metal, etc.

    Hell, I was listening to Fastway's On Target earlier in my car. It's total 80s cheese hard rock/metal with keyboards. But I love it. I guarantee almost everyone would make fun of me. But then there might be that rare person who didn't, and to that person I'd give a manly kiss on the mouth. If it was cool, of course...

  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    S0up wrote: »

    With In Flames I still get suckered in by a false sense of hope, that somehow, somewhere, they will release another good album.

    They did. Listen to it again.

  • BlakoutBlakout Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hey look it's my favorites of the year (that I can remember):

    1. Transcending Bizarre? - The Serpent's Manifolds
    2. Gojira - The Way of All Flesh
    3. Kalmah - For the Revolution
    4. Artefact - Ruins
    5. Cynic - Traced in Air
    6. Protest the Hero - Fortress
    7. Opeth - Watershed
    8. Bloodbath - The Fathomless Mastery
    9. Amon Amarth - Twilight of the Thunder God
    10. Ihsahn - AngL
    11. In Flames - A Sense of Purpose
    12. Meshuggah - ObZen
    13. Hail of Bullets - Of Frost and War
    14. Murderplan - Let's Roll
    15. Svartediket - Svartediket
    16. Enslaved - Vertebrae
    17. Metallica - Death Magnetic
    18. Alestorm - Captain Morgan's Revenge
    19. Svafnir - The Heathen Chapters
    20. Children of Bodom - Blooddrunk

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  • Mr BubblesMr Bubbles David Koresh Superstar Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Blakout wrote: »
    Hey look it's my favorites of the year (that I can remember):
    18. Alestorm - Captain Morgan's Revenge

    YES

    People, I would like to be far more into metal than I am right now

    Where should I start

  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Wait, new Anathema?

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  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mr Bubbles wrote: »
    People, I would like to be far more into metal than I am right now

    Where should I start


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV6noHEd6XE

    Let me know if you have any other questions I can help you with.

  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mr Bubbles wrote: »
    Blakout wrote: »
    Hey look it's my favorites of the year (that I can remember):
    18. Alestorm - Captain Morgan's Revenge

    YES

    People, I would like to be far more into metal than I am right now

    Where should I start

    Start with the more accessible varieties first, and slowly try to work your way into the other varieties of metal. Eventually you might start to enjoy the growly vocals and stuff that most people don't really like at first hearing.

    I have only relatively recently started to enjoy Melodeath, and have difficulty getting into black metal and less melodic death metal, but it's all pretty much an acquired taste.

    Varieties with cleaner vocals or more mainstream appeal might be the way to go. Power metal, trash metal, and the like. Blind Guardian pretty much single-handedly got me into metal, with some Metallica, Therion and Iron Maiden influence.

    steam_sig.png
  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hey dudes

    I love Mastodon, unhealthily

    I listen to them every day, quite literally

    What would you recommend for someone who has such an obsession and wants to spread it around more evenly?

    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I fucking hate you Canadians.
  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mastodon is a pretty unique band, and an excellent one. They blend quite a few styles into one.

    Try Gojira maybe, but keep in mind they aren't as musically proficient or as heavy (well, in their own way).

  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    autothrall wrote: »
    Mastodon is a pretty unique band, and an excellent one. They blend quite a few styles into one.

    Try Gojira maybe, but keep in mind they aren't as musically proficient or as heavy (well, in their own way).

    mm, i've been meaning to try gojira.

    i am basically looking for that somewhat-prog sound while maintaining the intensity and heaviness of something like Blood and Thunder. I prefer tracks like that one to the more noodly shit like Capillarean Crest or whatever it's called.

    Most really heavy bands are non-melodic and percussively boring to me (I love Mastodon's drums); most prog bands are noodlier than a bowl of spaghetti. Both are unsatisfactory, and I've only found the right mix in Mastodon, for the most part.

    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I fucking hate you Canadians.
  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    autothrall wrote: »
    urahonky wrote: »
    Out of curiosity, how do you guys feel about Unearth? I really love the guys, but I know there is animosity between the different types of metal. I want just want to see if the general PA public opinion of them is high or not.

    Unearth is from my state, I used to know Ken a little. He used to go to one of my old band's shows, or vice versa. They are definitely a legitimate band who have been working hard at what they do long before the term 'metalcore' was a household name. It's hard not to be proud that they made a success of themselves. That said, on a musical level, their albums don't do it for me.

    That's so cool. I really like to think that the guys are pretty cool to hang out with. I don't know what it is, but their music is just enthralling to me. If I hear a song by them I normally get really pumped up.

    Games completed recently: Dragon's Crown, Knights of Pen and Paper, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (20th time), Defender's Quest, The Witcher
  • TavTav Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Mr Bubbles wrote: »
    People, I would like to be far more into metal than I am right now

    Where should I start

    80's trash is pretty much most peoples "gateway" into metal. Hit up some Metallica, Megadeth, Judas Priest, Athrax, Slayer, Motorhead, Pantera, Death, Iron Maiden, Sepultura, and Black Sabbath for a nice starting point.

  • KaputaKaputa Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Man, Earth is an awesome band. I've liked Sunn O))) for a long time now, and I checked out Earth's newest album when I heard that they were an inspiration for Sunn O))). It's good, but not really metal at all, so I got some of their earlier, drone doom stuff and I'm loving it.

    This is probably not news to anyone since I get the impression that Earth is pretty well known among drone fans.

  • Crazy LarryCrazy Larry Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Wait, there's new Hammerfall due out this year? Why did no one tell me this? With this and Grave Digger coming out, it looks like it should be a good year for Power Metal. If we get new Blind Guardian too I'll be in heaven.

    You guys might want to check out the new Woe Of Tyrants, since I seem to recall some of you really liking their first release. I'm kind of ticked that I missed their cd release party, and they don't play anywhere near me again for a while.

    Also, I wasn't going to do a list, but no one mentioned Moonspell in any of their's so I had to rectify that.

    1. Ihsahn - AngL
    2. Cynic - Traced In Air
    3. Darkthrone - Dark Thrones And Black Flags
    4. Gojira - The Way Of All Flesh
    5. Amon Amarth - Twilight Of The Thunder God
    6. Hail of Bullets - ...Of Frost and War
    7. Moonspell - Night Eternal
    8. Meshuggah - obZen
    9. Falconer - Among Beggars and Thieves
    10. Pharaoh - Be Gone
    11. Dark Empire - Humanity Dethroned
    12. Motorhead - Motorizer
    13. Testament - The Formation Of Damnnation
    14. Benedictum - Seasons Of Tragedy
    15. Alestorm - Captain Morgan's Revenge
    Honorable Mention - Van Canto

  • yakulyakul Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    One of these years ima gonna keep a notepad of all the albums as I listen to them.

    Top

    1. Obtest - Gyvybes Medis
    2. Darkthrone - Darkthrones and Black Flags
    3. Pharoah - Be Gone
    4. The Sword - Gods of the Earth
    5. SIG:AR:TYR - Beyond the North Winds
    6. Kurgan - And Green Grasses Are Freezing Slowly
    7. Lifelover - Konkurs
    8. Opeth - Watershed (extra points given for no embarrasing front lawn photos)

    Best Metallica album of 2008: Master of Puppets

  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    It's tickling me to see the Darkthrone love arrive in spurts.
    yakul wrote: »

    Best Metallica album of 2008: Master of Puppets

    Agreed!

    It was their best album of 2007, too, strangely enough.

  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    autothrall wrote: »
    yakul wrote: »

    Best Metallica album of 2008: ...And Justice For All

    Agreed!

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  • yakulyakul Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I'll admit I don't listen to Darkthrone enough, but one time the missus caught me singing Dungeon Shaker in the shower and I had some explain to do.

    Also Kill Em All almost got the edge this year it was close

  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I liked Metallica before they sold out, when Lars moved to the US.

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  • autothrallautothrall Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    yakul wrote: »
    I'll admit I don't listen to Darkthrone enough, but one time the missus caught me singing Dungeon Shaker in the shower and I had some explain to do.

    If she didn't sex you up right on the spot, curb her.

  • MorgensternMorgenstern Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Hey dudes

    I love Mastodon, unhealthily

    I listen to them every day, quite literally

    What would you recommend for someone who has such an obsession and wants to spread it around more evenly?

    Baroness.

    “Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
  • NarianNarian Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    Rhan9 wrote: »
    Blind Guardian pretty much single-handedly got me into metal, with some Metallica, Therion and Iron Maiden influence.
    Almost the exact same for me except no Therion or Maiden, just Blind Guardian and Metallica.

    Narian.gif
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