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How not to get a job

futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited January 2009 in Social Entropy++
In these hard economic times I figure that there might be some people out there looking for a job. Having recently posted a job listing I thought I would give you all a few pointers on things you shouldn't do in your quest for employment.


1. Don't send me an email with my company's name. And only my company's name.
2. I will forgive you forgetting to attach your resume once (1/4 strike against you). I will not forgive you forgetting to send it 2x and then making up for it by sending it another 3 times.
3. You only need to apply for a job once. This isn't a contest where you can enter it over and over again. Changing your cover letter also won't help seeing that I now know your name.
4. Yes different fonts are awesome. But they just aren't awesome right now.
5. I'm glad that you are excited for this job and think you'd be a perfect fit. It's a good idea to tell me how though seeing as your entire resume states that you've worked in entirely different fields.
6. Actors... ha ha ha your performance resume is not the resume I want to see. I am not central casting.
7. No seriously, that's great that you have a head shot... I don't need to see it. I'm just going to go ahead and assume that the person who shows up on time for the interview is you. I also don't care that you were an extra in Law & Order. Fuck who hasn't been an extra in Law & Order and then moved to L.A. to pursue their career in acting.
8. Don't get the name of my company wrong in your cover letter. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that you need a job and are applying to different places. I don't want to be the luck job that you accidentally got hired for.
9. If you're talking to me like you already have the job, well then I'm going to be glad to disappoint you.
10. There is a reason people list specific criteria in their job postings. A 18 year old kid who is about to graduate high school is not the experienced college graduate that I asked for.


I wish such a list wasn't needed to be shared. But I have an inbox full of resumes that would say otherwise.

futility on

Posts

  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    man, if it's a technical job at all, don't even let them forget the attachment once.
    i am so, so sick of people in positions that could be done 100x more efficiently if they just took the time to become a little bit more computer literate.
    christ i need to do more comics about that co-worker of mine.

  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I just got fired from 2 jobs within 3 days of eachother with no more than a 'you're not happy' as a reason

  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    ive got to like

    make a calender

    jesus

  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    hey. hey. i have a question though.
    in those "graphic design" type jobs, they ask for a "BA" or whatever.
    if i have a portfolio, but no education whatsoever, is it still acceptable to apply?

    also i just made a thread in H&A and would appreciate you job-sy folks to go over and take a boo, as it is job related and driving me nuts

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    I got laid off last week.

    I need to find a job, but this might be a good chance to take that course I saw on solar power installation training. I'm thinking I should break into the solar industry ASAP.

  • futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2009
    I just got fired from 2 jobs within 3 days of eachother with no more than a 'you're not happy' as a reason

    I've been told at work a couple times to act happy. It's I guess what you would call part of our office philosophy.

    Just put on a fake fucking smile if you can't be happy. Sincerity is great, a paycheck is better.

  • futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I got laid off last week.

    I need to find a job, but this might be a good chance to take that course I saw on solar power installation training. I'm thinking I should break into the solar industry ASAP.

    Now's the time, and you live in the right state.

  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited January 2009
    hm i need a job

    i should start applying

    hopefully this time around i will get more replies back now that i have TWO internships with fairly major companies on my resume

    i mean people know the Ad Council, right?

    right?

    smokey the bear?

    :|

  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    mully wrote: »
    hey. hey. i have a question though.
    in those "graphic design" type jobs, they ask for a "BA" or whatever.
    if i have a portfolio, but no education whatsoever, is it still acceptable to apply?
    a lot of places will say they want a BA or a combination of education and experience

    I have always taken this to mean "if you produce shit that looks good then fuck college"

    kQwcZLJ.png
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
  • rocky62rocky62 Registered User
    edited January 2009
    This is why life is better when you are your one and only boss.

    Gaming Elite! :P e2ad76f2326fbc6b56a45a56c59fafdb.gif2bc8ae25856bc2a6a1333d1331a3b7a6.giff542eae1949358e25d8bfeefe5b199f1.gif
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    personal skills

    ass to ass

    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited January 2009
    oh, i'm awesome at not getting jobs. pretty much the king.

  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2009
    mully wrote: »
    hey. hey. i have a question though.
    in those "graphic design" type jobs, they ask for a "BA" or whatever.
    if i have a portfolio, but no education whatsoever, is it still acceptable to apply?
    a lot of places will say they want a BA or a combination of education and experience

    I have always taken this to mean "if you produce shit that looks good then fuck college"

    Worrrd.

    Most people who interview me don't even ask about college until after they've got the gig.

    Then they go, "You never went to school? Huh, I thought you just left it off your resume accidentally. Good job."

  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited January 2009
    rocky62 wrote: »
    This is why life is better when you are your one and only boss.
    doing what, exactly?

  • BrogeyBrogey Aca-awesome! Santa Monica, CASuper Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2009
    XBox LIVE: Bogestrom
    PSN: Bogestrom

    R.I.P. Wampa Milk
This discussion has been closed.