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How not to get a job

futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited January 2009 in Singularity Engine++
In these hard economic times I figure that there might be some people out there looking for a job. Having recently posted a job listing I thought I would give you all a few pointers on things you shouldn't do in your quest for employment.

1. Don't send me an email with my company's name. And only my company's name.
2. I will forgive you forgetting to attach your resume once (1/4 strike against you). I will not forgive you forgetting to send it 2x and then making up for it by sending it another 3 times.
3. You only need to apply for a job once. This isn't a contest where you can enter it over and over again. Changing your cover letter also won't help seeing that I now know your name.
4. Yes different fonts are awesome. But they just aren't awesome right now.
5. I'm glad that you are excited for this job and think you'd be a perfect fit. It's a good idea to tell me how though seeing as your entire resume states that you've worked in entirely different fields.
6. Actors... ha ha ha your performance resume is not the resume I want to see. I am not central casting.
7. No seriously, that's great that you have a head shot... I don't need to see it. I'm just going to go ahead and assume that the person who shows up on time for the interview is you. I also don't care that you were an extra in Law & Order. Fuck who hasn't been an extra in Law & Order and then moved to L.A. to pursue their career in acting.
8. Don't get the name of my company wrong in your cover letter. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that you need a job and are applying to different places. I don't want to be the luck job that you accidentally got hired for.
9. If you're talking to me like you already have the job, well then I'm going to be glad to disappoint you.
10. There is a reason people list specific criteria in their job postings. A 18 year old kid who is about to graduate high school is not the experienced college graduate that I asked for.

I wish such a list wasn't needed to be shared. But I have an inbox full of resumes that would say otherwise.

futility on


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