After being single for quite long enough, I have decided to re-enter that mysterious and enigma-like world of dating. I am also going to try something new: online dating!
I made an account for plentyoffish and wrote up a quick profile. However, it's very late in the night, so it's a little bazonkers. I am looking for any suggestions on what to change/add. I think it's a bit short, but I am out of ideas of what to add right now. I should mention that I am a dude looking for a dudette.
EDIT: See new one a few posts down. This one was written under the warping influence of alcohol.
GREETINGS,
I am an intrepid adventurerer, defiant of English conventions, who is doing GOOD today and hopes you are too (and not WELL). Many an age ago I was placed upon this most AUSTERE of Earths (I make up my own definitions for words that I think sound cool) and now I am a pirate on the well vessel Georgia Tech. I have many and varied interests, though I am particularly fond of music, physics, and all manner of things mathematical. I can "get down" or "get up", as the cool kids would put it (the National Funk Congress debates to this day which is the more hip phrase). A less funky person might put it as "dancing and singing" (badly and loudly). I take my conversations inane, with a touch of unhinged-ness. You might say that I have a couple of screws loose! But in a good way! Truly, things that I do are usually just a backdrop for conversation. I fancy myself a wordsmith in training. Phrasing things in a neat way is one of my favorite things to do, and I spend a lot of time thinking of well ways to say things (ask me about the knucklewalking misshapen BRUTES at UGA!). Spoonerisms are most excellent. I suppose you could say that I take a lot of pleasure in the small things! Other minor hobbies I have are playing guitar, thinking up half-crazy schemes to make people laugh, typing in all capital letters, and doing lots of physics homework (I am a physics major).
I am very much an optimist. I can find a positive side to nearly anything. A lot of the time it just involves romanticizing the negative traits of whatever situation to increase their hilarity quotient. A very easy process, once you know the basics! It's difficult to get me down about anything. People sometimes describe me as acting as though I am always drunk (a happy drunk!). I don't find this to be completely true, but it would accurately describe my general demeanor around my friends a majority of the time.
Music plays a big part in my life, in the sense that I listen to a lot of it and talk about it a lot (I don't really "do" a lot of music). I am a huge metalhead. To be specific, death metal really gets me pumped. However, I am partial to other kinds of music as well. I love to vehemently defend that which is considered to be "bad" music (let me tell you about the mystique of gangsta rap!). I have a tendency to start dancing anytime I am around a sufficiently funky beat.
Posts
You're not helping our reputation any.*
Get some sleep and then look at your first paragraph again. At any rate, I'm not sure an online dating site is really the place to invoke college football rivalries. (Note that there are more female students at UGA than there are total students at Tech.)
Keep it short. Keep it sweet. Keep it relevant. Contrived eccentricity will only get you so far.
I have a tendency to look at life through rose-colored glass. I can find a positive side to almost anything, and take great pleasure in coming up with contrived reasons for something almost universally considered bad (such as the movie Van Helsing) is actually quite awesome. I love to make people laugh, and my preferred method to do so is via wordplay. My primary hobbies are physics, improv, and guitar (though I am much better at the virtual one than the real one).
Plentyoffish tells me to include the following things:
1. Talk about your hobbies.
2. Talk about your goals/aspirations
3. Talk about youself and what makes you unique.
4. Your taste in music.
1. I sort of accomplished. I like drinking and partying in general and that's usually how I spend most weekends, but I don't know how to include that without sounding like some crazy party animal, or a drunken oaf, or an alcoholic, etc. I also don't know a good way to mention how much I love spontaneous dancing.
2. I didn't mention at all. My intentions after graduating is to pursue a PhD in physics, and eventually become a physicist, but I don't want to sound like some aloof academic who thinks he is smarter than you. Should I include this at all, or just leave it that I am currently a student? Should I mention my jobs? I work in a research lab and also co-op at a research contractor.
3. In my previous one, I tried to project the best side of me through writing, but I'm finding it a bit hard to do without using flowery diction. I know most people don't get thrilled by how things are phrased as much as I do though, so maybe I don't need stylish wordsmithery? Right now, my paragraph expresses most of what I am about: optimistic, enthusiastic, nerdy, a little silly, and a love of words.
4. This one is a bit hard for me since I absolutely love death metal, and anyone who meets me will find out very quickly, but having similar taste in music is completely unimportant to me. It may be important to the person reading the profile, though? I also love classic rock, but not nearly to the extent of my near-obsession with death metal.
This is a grammatical cluster-fuck.
Also, you may want to leave your love of death metal for a second date. Or never. Whichever...
I can see why someone would put off-put at first impression by someone saying that they love death metal. However, I also want to be as honest as possible. I don't want to lure someone in under a false pretense.
Oh yeah, howabout that profile pic? I really don't know what to do here. This is the picture I'm leaning towards using:
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/441/fishpi0.jpg
I think that if someone saw that picture and thought AWESOME then they're probably my type. However, I can also see several flaws with using that picture. The garish clothing might make people think I am an attention whore (and I'm not gonna lie, I am), or that I'm desperately trying to attract their attention towards my profile. However, I LOVE garish clothing, and I think that the outfit I'm wearing sums up a lot of my personality (good and bad). A couple of other flaws: the hat makes it look like I may be wearing a wig (since I have pink hair), and besides that I don't even have pink hair anymore. But, my hair color changes so often that I may as well.
and by this i do not mean you have to be a thin stud, just that they have to be good images of you, as you are, that make you look good.
this is a mistake so so many guys make when making an online dating profile.
edit- haha, what timing, it also makes my point for me, that is an awful picture for a first impression
awesome guy to talk to that you find out likes death metal - no big deal, maybe a bit cute
guy you have never spoken to proclaiming his love of death metal right away - no, thanks, moving on to next profile.
same goes for the picture. save the silly silly ones till she can see that you are a good looking guy in normal circumstances, then they become endearing instead of off-putting
A little more conservative. This one is from this past summer, when I dyed my hair back to brown since I was in China:
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/8910/fish2on4.jpg
I'm not looking at the camera though. And I'm greedily clutching a kitten...
Here is one that more accurately reflects the fact that I usually don't have brown hair, but also doesn't involve me wearing garish clothing.
http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/4714/fishyw6.jpg
My shirt has Chinese on it though, which could suggest I am a weeaboo (I'm not)? Most people just assume that it is Japanese.
i would suggest (if possible) to go out with some friends and a camera, someplace fun and outside and take pictures. pictures of you having fun, being active, interacting with people who like you are usually pretty good
Here's another one from the summer, though since you said I had a terrible haircut this one would probably fall under the same umbrella:
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/135/fish3pd1.jpg
EDIT: I also just realized I'm wearing a Slayer shirt...
Here is a re-upload of the second one:
http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/4271/fishwu5.jpg
I'm having a harder time finding appropriate pictures than I thought. I have a tendency to make faces when people are taking pictures of me.
in a picture be smiling, have your hair look good, and have it be a decent sized image. (so that second one is out unless you have a larger size)
i think it is best to have the focus of the image be you (means it is ok to crop the image down to you, even if you're with friends), but it's also a good idea for it to be a slightly candid shot, maybe of you doing something, but still looking at the camera and smiling. pictures with the person just kinda standing all static for the picture look awkward most of the time.
also, yeah, the asian characters coupled with the pink hair in that second one do come off as weeabooish, probably best to steer clear of that unless you're after a weeaboo girl. (they can still be good people! haha)
Seriously just go out this weekend and take a shit load of photos.
Do something about that hair, grooming is important.
Disapproval of yourself. Bad. Don't call your own reasons contrived, be confident.
just rewrite your whole profile and post it here again.
Things you don't want to do: seek acceptance, make excuses, beg (please email me if you like my profile), all that kind of wussy stuff.
I'm going to horribly mangle what David D says here but it's something like this: Convey that you are a fun interesting character and that you're leading an exciting life and are going places. If she wants to come along for the ride and is worthy of it than she can.
edit: made a few additions in the pictures section
Did that come off as disapproval of myself? Damn, I meant it in a humorous way. I will change that, then!
When you write you're profile keep in mind when they're reading it. Are they reading it after they got your opening email or are you trying to attract lurkers that keep their profile hidden so they can't get emails?
Update your profile and pictures. A lot of these lurker women will check your profile a few times before getting the balls to email you.
Now, what I'm about to say is the most important thing ever in online dating.
MAKE A FEMALE PROFILE!!!! One that's the type of woman you're looking for, in the area you're looking for them in. You will get a ton of emails, probably 50 in a week easily. Read them all and read their profile look at how terrible they are, what mistakes they make, how they're all alike.
Women get tons and tons of emails and 95% of them are the same so in order to stand out you just have to be different from these guys.
After you make a female profile your eyes will open, trust me.
edit: don't forget to post some emails you get here for the entertainment value.
my okcupid says that i am not looking for anyone, that i joined because some friends wanted me too, and has a link to my boyfriend's matching okcupid page in the first two lines. i still get messages from guys, i sign in every two months to get a giggle or two.
also, do not ever do blanket messages (messages that are just a vague greeting that you send out to all the girls in the area), they are incredibly obvious and girls usually just roll their eyes at them.
i'll go pull a few out of my inbox to show you
two recent blanket ones i have gotten.
also, never ever do what these guys did
1
2
3
4
Wow those emails and pictures are terrible.
See men, this is your competition. Online dating is a very easy game once you get the fundamentals down.
Oh Belruel, could you do us a favor and post just the subject lines from your inbox. I'm willing to bet they're all "hi" "hey" "hey cutie" "what's up" "hello" "hi there". In other words, it doesn't take much to stand out from these guys. The method that I have heard is best is to include something from their profile in the subject line.
edit: I forgot to mention to make a separate email account and instant messanger, one with a screen name that reflects the overall vibe that your profiles/emails give out. Don't use the dating service beyond the first email, things get too cluttered.
To be fair, these are probably boys in Chino from viewing your profile... not the top of the gene pool usually :P
but yeah, to the OP- take that as a warning, and be a good duder, not a weird one
http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/
That's just mind blowing. I can't even the find the words to describe it.
I need to do this. I balk at contacting girls online since I think they're out my league, but I need to stop thinking like that.
Don't forget that the super hot girls that are out of your league recieve even more emails by guys like the ones Belruel posted. They probably stopped opening them and just skim the subject line so having one that stands out can give you a lot better chances with one of them compared to some girl who gets 10 emails a week and reads them all. That or they are on invisible and only read profiles so that could also be an advantage for you.
But your profile makes you come off as EXTREMELY geeky and dorky. Like to the point I'm not sure many girls would want to contact you. You need to tone it down and add other interests.
And your pictures aren't helping. The first one makes you looking kinda creepy and the second one, you're wearing a joker shirt and in the background.
Gaunt and freekish? Pass
It's what they notice about you not how you look, they can see how you look in the pictures (they're terrible btw)
Why not say something like "The thing people first notice about me is my positive attitude, no matter what's going on I try to have a good time"
Something like that, I'm a terrible writer but you get the idea.
Kyougu was right, way too geeky. You're living in Clarksville man, the armpit of TN, Nashville's retarded brother. Geeks are few are far between. I used to live there when I was at Ft.Campell, I know.
You got into the habit of listing stuff you like and what you're like. It's very boring to ready, I couldn't even finish it I lost interest so fast.
Don't just say what you like "I like bacon, bacon is good" say "...but keep your hands away from my pork, you might get your fingers bit off" or something.
That's negative and listing, boring and wussy. Why not "maybe if we go out to karaoke you can hear what a great singer I am (bring earplugs)"
Now you're fun, you go out, it's kind of funny (you don't have to tell them you have a sense of humor later) she can visualize herself going there with you. It's kind of cocky because you're talking about how great you are but at the same time kind of funny and down to earth because you tell her to bring earplugs.
Anyway, I can post more later, trying to get this paper done...
Umm your pictures are just terrible. Ask a friend with a digital camera to take some. Take like 100 and pick out a few you like. You want your first picture to be like an actor's Head shot, very well groomed, shave off that peach fuzz get a decent button up shirt, ect. This is the thumbnail picture, I don't really know how Okcupid works but I think it has that. Then the next few to be you hanging out with your friends, doing things you like to do.
I really don't like the way Okcupid has that Q:A setup thing. Is there an option to just have 1 big text box for you to write a profile?
edit: stop crossing your arms!
also: loyal? are you a dog?
don't you have any friends with cameras that can help you take some pictures?
also, a point i cannot stress enough if you are serious about getting dates,
1) go find and buy clothes that fit you well and look good on you. those shoes in the second image are awful, those pants are just bad, and you are swimming in that shirt. you are a thin guy! wear clothes that are thin fitting. you will look so so much nicer.
2) your stache is awful, and you need to look into a good haircut.
also, take this in good spirit, i am just giving you a girl's perspective to help. also keep in mind that i am even a girl that is nerdy and loves nerdy things, and i would still close a guy's profile if he felt the need to talk about and reference how nerdy he is every two seconds.
as you come across a purple'd part, go down to a bulletpoint below, i think i kept them straight and in order. i also did a few minor adjustments here and there when i just couldn't help myself, nothing major.
Three Adjectives that describe you
Loyal, thoughtful, and contemplative
My self-summary
I’m a student at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, TN and I am majoring in Political Science and History. Let’s see, umm…My friends and family mean the world to me. I love going to raves. I have a pretty good sense of humor though it can sometimes get a little dark. I’m a geek, and as such can be found elbow deep in many geeky pursuits play Dungeons and Dragon, Magic, etc. I can't sing to save my life. I’ll sometimes make really bad jokes about the current situation. I am not fond of cold weather, the heat and I get along much better.
What I’m doing with my life
Well I’m currently going to school and hopefully will graduate. After school, I’m not quite sure what I wish to pursue. I’ve been toying with the idea lately of joining the Peace Corps; do my part to make the world a better place and get some hands on experience. After that, maybe I will look for a job with the government that will require a lot of traveling, I would love to see the world.
I’m really good at
Well politics and history obviously. Kinda need to be to get through school. Other than that, video games and other random geek stuff.
The first thing(s) people notice about me
I’m tall at 6 feet and a little gaunt. Also that I can sometimes move my limbs and body in ways that don’t seem humanly possible. According to the doctors, I’m double-jointed in several parts of my body. It sometimes freaks people out.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Books: Way too many to list here. Most of my favorite books are either sci-fi or fantasy, so I read a lot of those. I’ve also been reading a lot of history and political books lately (care to guess why ). Some of my favorite books are The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars novels, A Song of Ice and Fire series, Halo novels, any of Karen Armstong’s books on religion and philosophy, and Robert Conquest’s books on Stalin and the Soviet Union.
Movies: The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, The Departed, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Silence of the Lambs, Alien, Children of Men, V for Vendetta, American Gangster, Ironman, Shaun of the Dead.
Music: There are only three volumes for me. Loud, louder, and loudest! My favorite music genres are Metal and Hard Rock \m/ (-_-) \m/, though I have quite a diverse music collection. You look at my iPod and you’ll find Techno, Classical, videogame and movie soundtracks, blues, jazz, music from Germany, Japan, and England, and much more. My favorites include Disturbed, Nine Inch Nails, Slipknot, Alice in Chains, Stone Sour, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Jimi Hendrix, Rob Zombie, and Rammstein.
Food: I could live off cheeseburgers and pizza, though I’ll try anything once. Unless it has squash in it, then forget it. No amount of money could convince me to eat it.
The six things I could never do without
My family
My friends
My dogs and cat
MUSICA!!!
Food
My car
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think I’ll be original and say… THE FUTURE!!! Yeah it’s the same thing everyone else says, but it’s true. It’s what we college students think about. What will I do after I graduate? Where will I end up living? Will I achieve my dreams? Will I be happy? These are the things that occupy my mind the most now. Other than that, girls, food, video games, and school work. In that order.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hopefully chillaxin with my homies. Either sitting in Barnes and Nobles, watching a movie, playing video games or Dungeons and Dragons all night, or hanging at the mall.
Other times sitting at home, hopefully planning trouble for Saturday night.
The most private thing I am willing to admit here
I can’t swim. Sorry, you aren’t getting anymore out of me until I know you better.
You should message me if
You read this and find me interesting, duh. Seriously, why else would you?
1-these are synonyms, think of a new adjective
2-raves are often seen as a bad scene, drugs and all that, and i somehow doubt that is the image you want to give
3-avoid mentioning D&D and magic by name at first, it is fine to say you're a geek, but let those come up in conversation
4-you already mentioned your dark sense of humor, speaking of which, avoid saying you are morbid
5-appear confident, don't mention not graduatating, it shows self doubt, and why would a girl want to start a relationship with a guy who doubts himself?
6-this is not a turn on for girls, no need to keep stressing you are a dork
7-i have a friend who is a lot like you that does this. he thinks it impresses people/girls but no, NO it does not. it makes them think you're weird and awkward, and makes them automatically not think of you sexually. NEVER DO THIS IN FRONT OF PROSPECTIVE GIRLFRIENDS/DATES EVER EVER AGAIN. i cannot stress that enough. even if your friends encourage you to 'do that thing'. make an excuse, lie. say that it hurts now and that you don't do that anymore.
8-again, no need to strangle the girls with your nerdiness. let them ease into it a little, find out what a nice guy you are so that the geekiness is endearing, not off-putting.
9-you don't want to come off as desperate, take girls off the list
10-step off the nerdy
Belruel you can't blame the guy, that's the Clarksville style. He's gotta check out online resources to see what actually looks good.
thin guy + big clothes = awkward bad look
to rand-
also i am not sure if you do, but you remind me of so much of my friend james that i will just assume, but if you slouch, stop. do not slouch, stand up straight.
if you love yourself never wear baggy jeans again. (unless you're doing yardwork or painting your house or something)
Though it's probably ok if you're emailing them first and write your profile with that in mind, however I think the unstructured style is better.
I just checked out that plentyoffish site. It looks like they deform the pictures to fit their square thumbnail so you get a lot a stretched wierd looking picture.
So check for that when you post your pic, you may have to crop it to make it perfectly square.
Optimistic, funny, eccentric
My self-summary
I can find a positive side to nearly anything. I love to make people laugh, and be made to laugh, especially via wordplay. Most of my conversations have the express purpose of making myself and those around me laugh. It's very difficult to get me down. I love parties, dancing, and singing. I am always down for a spontaneous boogie-fest, even in the most public of places. My biggest hobbies are physics, reading, and guitar. I love to try to defend indefensible positions that I don't actually believe in.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a undergraduate at Georgia Tech, majoring in physics. I alternate semesters working and studying as a co-op student. My co-op job is a research assistant at Georgia Tech Research Institute, doing work primarily with optics. During school semesters I do research part-time in a nonlinear dynamics lab. Once I graduate I plan to pursue a Ph.D. in physics, and my eventual goal is to be a physicist.
I’m really good at
Squeezing the maximum possible quantity of fun into every weekend. I think I have honed "work hard, play hard" close to perfection.
The first thing(s) people notice about me
Physically, the first thing people notice about me is that I (usually) have an unnatural hair color. Right now it's a mix of blue, purple, and green. Next, they will notice that my voice only has three volumes: loud, louder, and loudest.
As a person, they will quickly notice that I spend a lot of time being silly and doing things that inevitably draw attention to myself, just for the hell of it.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
My favorite series of books is Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin. Most fiction I read is either fantasy or sci-fi. Most of my actual reading time is spent reading physics and math textbooks, though.
It's very easy for me to love, and then loudly proclaim that love, B movies and senseless summer action flicks (Van Helsing being one of my favorites). Crazy and over-the-top is my favorite genre. I can get behind most cult films. I tend to be critical of more intellectual films, but the ones I do like I like a lot.
My two favorite kinds of music are metal and classic rock. However, I am very open to most other kinds of music. It is a personal goal of mine to attend a concert of every major genre of music. I am definitely a "music person", as evidenced by nearly half of the t-shirts I own being band t-shirts.
I like pretty much all food. I'll try anything, no matter how unappetizing it looks, once. I have a special place in my heart for seafood and horrible greasy American food.
The six things I could never do without
Friends, physics, and music. I am pretty minimalistic; I don't need much to be happy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Neat ways to phrase things, and how to put smiles on people's faces. Usually the two go hand-in-hand. I get very excited anytime I think up a phrase that evokes strong, humorous imagery.
On a typical Friday night I am
Nearly always intoxicated with my friends. Alcohol just multiplies all the positives of my personality by 150%, so I love to enjoy drinks with my friends.
The most private thing I am willing to admit here
I have a thing for sexy boots! I don't care to own any myself, but I always notice it when a woman wears nice boots.
You should message me
If you can be described as having a few screws loose, like me. Other than that, opposites attract is definitely true for me.
This is a rough draft so I already see a lot of things wrong with it, so any critiques and suggestions on how to fix it would be most appreciated.
I feel like the self-summary is rather disjointed and doesn't really evoke an image of ME too well. It's pretty much just a dry list of personality traits. However, as I've mentioned in the thread before, the way something is phrased means a lot more to me than most people, so maybe it's actually fine. I feel like the "What I'm doing with my life" section makes me look like an aloof academic. Maybe less is more, here? I'm thinking of just putting that I'm a physics student at GT. I feel like my favorites section is too wordy, but I also don't find it to be very important, since sharing taste in media is completely unimportant to me. I'm pretty sure what I put for Friday nights doesn't imply that I'm an alcoholic, but evokes the fact that I am a very big fan of drinking.
Everything else I'm mostly satisfied with, but let me know what you think.