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Paruresis
Terrendos
Decorative MonocleRegistered User regular
Decorative MonocleRegistered User regular
Since I was about 14-15, I've had trouble using public restrooms. If they were busy, I'd have to concentrate for several seconds before I could urinate. Sometimes I couldn't go at all. Recently I began to think that I couldn't possibly be the only person who has this problem, so I Googled, and low and behold, it seems as though I have Paruresis, or Shy Bladder Syndrome.
I find that I can usually go when I'm the only person using the urinals, or if there's one person on the far end and there's dividers. But in a busy bathroom, I usually have to get a stall and sometimes even sit down. Since apparently 7% of the US population shares this phobia, I figure there's a decent chance someone here has it too. Does anyone have any advice for helping overcome the mental block?
I find that I can usually go when I'm the only person using the urinals, or if there's one person on the far end and there's dividers. But in a busy bathroom, I usually have to get a stall and sometimes even sit down. Since apparently 7% of the US population shares this phobia, I figure there's a decent chance someone here has it too. Does anyone have any advice for helping overcome the mental block?
Terrendos on
Posts
1) Give up, and resign yourself to sitting down every time you need to pee, at least if the restroom is busy. Unless this is a small workplace you can probably assume that no other person will be in the bathroom with you enough times to notice any pattern.
2) Time your restroom visits so that generally nobody else is in there when you are; avoid heavily trafficked ones in favor of private ones if possible.
3) Read up on the therapies that other people have used, and try them out. They've worked for other men so they can probably work for you too.
One time, my bladder hurt so bad, that I was like 'fuck it I NEED to pee, I'm going to sit down and have some damn privacy." And it worked. So now, if it's busy or I'm drinking with friends, I just bee-line right to the stall. They're there for a reason, and there's nothing wrong with doing what you gotta do to pee.
The long an the short of it is that I said to myself, "everybody pees, get over it". And it worked. Mind over matter.
But fucking bars tend to either have no stall at all, or no door on it, so there's really just no option than to go to some other, nicer bar nearby. But these days, I generally just don't drink much at bars.
Guild Wars 2: Entriech.3507 | Scythe Gearsnap, Phlork, Irenic
That was a little over 5 years ago, but I have had the same problem ever since. Evidently you can randomly start having this problem?
Anyways, some tricks I've learned in the meantime; as soon as you walk up to the urinal, flush it. The sound helps block out the sounds of people around you and somehow encourages you to pee.
I also find interesting spots on the wall and stare intently at them. Anything that takes your attention away from the surroundings seems to help.
For those of you mentioning having trouble urinating when you've been drinking, I think that's something different. Alcohol swells the prostate or something I've heard, and that can block off the bladder somewhat.
Some jerkoff older kid came in and said, "haha, he has to sit down to pee, what a girl!" and ever since then I had the shy bladder. I'd like to punch that kid right in the dick now.
I have only once heard a girl screaming at another girl in the restroom. She made a tiny noise and the other one immediately started screaming "DROP AND FLUSH!" over and over at the top of her lungs. That woman was a FREAK. Normal people pretty much ignore your bodily functions...if you are getting any attention in the bathroom it may just be because you're acting nervous or anxious.
Although, most of the time I just go to the stall and stand at the bowl, because, why not. It's not like pissing at a urinal is such a thrilling experience.
the people who have their sayings and their counting and other escapes and make them work, i dont think,
suffer from paruresis. i could be wrong, but i just know ive tried everything, its happened all my life,
and its gotten to the point of it being a physical problem - not just mental - its like my sphincter
has gotten overly strong from holding it in all my life that its hard to relax it. but then again at home,
alone, i am fairly fine (though it still can take a minute to let it flow).
my problem was that when i was young - like 5-6 years old - i would get up and go to the bathroom
in the middle of the night and i guess the flushing would wake up my dad and he got pissed at me for making
noise. so then i would "sneak" downstairs and use that bathroom, but the flush would resonate through
the pipes and walls and i guess he could hear THAT too. so THEN, i just started peeing in the drain
in the basement,lol, and it got really smelly down there and no one could figure out why, lol.
so for me it turned into this thing about people "hearing" me pee - and then of course seeing me pee.
basically just knowing i am peeing, lol. ( i really hate my dad for this, btw, among other things. i mean
shouldnt it be a good thing for a kid to get up and go instead of wetting the bed??).
anyway, im probably never going to fix it and i feel so robbed - all those "bonding" moments in
the bathroom and what not. and not to mention ashamed, embarrassed, and less than a man.
and now as i get older i cant hold it for as long, so i really have to plan my days out if im going
to be away from home. besides trying to make mental notes of all the private/locked door bathrooms
wherever i go, i make sure i have something like an empty gatorade bottle in my car for those
emergency moments (which i am relying on more because its easy and private). let me tell you,
i would be such a better quality of person if i didnt have this holding me back. i hate it!