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Did I do the right thing? (Guess so- need lock please!)

JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster KittehRegistered User regular
edited February 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
You know, some people just never leave high school.

Yesterday, I was in the classroom where I have my latest Math class at the community college. The teacher comes in and she starts writing on the chalkboard. Uh-oh, she's got laryngitis- she can barely talk above a whisper. She takes attendance by passing the sheet around, and immediately, two guys my age (mid-20s) start giving a sixty-something year-old-woman grief. One starts talking to a friend on the other side of the next table, dropping f-bombs and everything. Now, I'm not the cleanest-mouthed guy myself, but in a classroom, you don't use those words. You respect the teacher and your classmates.

So after a bit, she takes him outside and kicks him out of the class for the night. After a sigh of relief, the class almost gets back underway- we start going over last week's homework and some moron in the corner pulls out a Blackberry and begins texting. The teacher has to go over and ask him to put it away, because it's disrespectful and distracting to everyone else in the class.

He tells the teacher "It's a really important text." with a big old grin on his face. She tells him that he should do it out in the hallway if it's so important, as to not disturb the rest of us. His response?

"I don't get reception out in the hall."

This almost sends the teacher over the edge. She just decides to hand back the last test and then says that anyone who wants to leave because she has a really wheezy voice can. Out of a forty person class, thirty-five stand up. I'm left in the room with four other people.

She continues class as normal (now that we can all hear her a bit more clearly), and then it's time for book work. She goes around, asking if people understand it.

She apologizes for the fact she can barely speak, but I apologize right back to her, saying that someone should for the way the two clowns were acting. She deserved an apology for the disrespect they'd put her through. Then I offered her some throat drops I had in my pack, and they started to clear her throat up and resurrected her voice to the point that she could speak louder and finish the class. As I was leaving, she told me I was really kind.

So i got home, and told my family. Mom and sister were happy about it, sister's boyfriend said I should have kept my mouth shut and it wasn't my place.

I just felt like someone had to. It was obvious that the two clowns had really rattled her- you don't really expect that kind of crap out of someone who's seven or eight years out of high school. But I'm still questioning it. I think I did the right thing.... but I'm not sure. Any ideas?

JaysonFour on
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Posts

  • SebbieSebbie Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    What did you do that you're having doubts about? It is never wrong to be kind to someone.

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  • RetoxRetox Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I don't know what you mean when you ask if you did the right thing. You weren't an asshole, that's good.

  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JaysonFour wrote: »
    So i got home, and told my family. Mom and sister were happy about it, sister's boyfriend said I should have kept my mouth shut and it wasn't my place.

    Protip: Someone's a douchebag here, and it's not you.

    And yeah, what did you possibly do that could be wrong? You gave her a cough drop and said you hope she feels better.

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  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JaysonFour wrote: »
    So i got home, and told my family. Mom and sister were happy about it, sister's boyfriend said I should have kept my mouth shut and it wasn't my place.

    Protip: Someone's a douchebag here, and it's not you.

    And yeah, what did you possibly do that could be wrong? You gave her a cough drop and said you hope she feels better.

    Yeah, you did nothing wrong.

    Some would argue that had you said anything to the douchebags in your class directly, you may have been crossing a line. Many (including myself) subscribe to the philosophy that it's the instructors job to control their room, and attempts by others to do so undermine that authority.

    Even that is hardly a universal opinion.

    And you didn't even do that.


    Your sister's boyfriend is probably the exact kind of douchebag you were apologizing for.

  • lsukalellsukalel Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Nothing wrong with wanting to get the most out of education you are paying for and giving an apology is simply the right thing to do. The sister's boyfriend is indeed a douche.

    We the Jury find the Defendant, "Kind of Bad."
  • edited February 2009
    You did the right thing. Don't ever doubt that what you did was right. If you're ever in a similar situation again, don't hesitate and do the same thing again. What you did was a really kind thing to do, and you should continue to be kind.

  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    mcdermott wrote: »
    Some would argue that had you said anything to the douchebags in your class directly, you may have been crossing a line. Many (including myself) subscribe to the philosophy that it's the instructors job to control their room, and attempts by others to do so undermine that authority.

    Agreed. If you'd done that, then there might be some weight to the "it wasn't your place." Besides, while difficult for her to verbally assert authority, it sure seems like she was asserting herself by telling people to GTFO/turn that shit off/etc. Oh, and I hope you took good notes, because you can bet your ass that whatever material was covered in that lesson is going to be on a test, midterm, or final. :P

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  • bowenbowen Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Boyfriend is a douche-nozzle.

  • witch_iewitch_ie Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Well, I don't think you were out of line or did anything wrong, but I agree that it's not your place to apologize for other people's bad behavior as you're not responsible for them. Empathesize with the professor sure, but not apologize. I'm not sure if that's where your sister's boyfriend is coming from, but you shouldn't feel bad about any of your actions regardless.

  • SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I've taught classes before, including a few community college classes. The general guideline to follow is that you shouldn't interfere with my exercise of authority. If someone's being an asshat, I'll take care of it--I'm in charge, and people need to recognize that. Empathy, though? Empathy is fine. Throat drops? Also cool.

    You didn't do anything wrong.

  • Satanic JesusSatanic Jesus In a library with broken glasses Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JaysonFour wrote: »
    So i got home, and told my family. Mom and sister were happy about it, sister's boyfriend said I should have kept my mouth shut and it wasn't my place.

    Protip: Someone's a douchebag here, and it's not you.

    And yeah, what did you possibly do that could be wrong? You gave her a cough drop and said you hope she feels better.

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  • FyreWulffFyreWulff Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    Boyfriend is an asshole. You did the right thing. I mean.. what he said didn't even make sense. Not your place to do.. what? Huh?

  • 3lwap03lwap0 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    bowen wrote: »
    Boyfriend is a douche-nozzle.

    LFT. Like a motherfucker.

    You did good man. I tip my hat to you, kindness these days is a rare commodity, as you can see for yourself.

    I think Pringles original intention was to make tennis balls... but on the day the rubber was supposed to show up a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said, "Fuck it, cut em up!".
  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ITT we discuss those disrespectful punk kids, and their undesired proximity to our lawns. :P

    Would I be right if I guessed that this kid was in his late teens, probably wears baggy pants, and pretends he's a hardass?

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  • bowenbowen Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ITT we discuss those disrespectful punk kids, and their undesired proximity to our lawns. :P

    Would I be right if I guessed that this kid was in his late teens, probably wears baggy pants, and pretends he's a hardass?

    I bet he's got spinners and maybe a phat grill. Yo.

  • SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT we discuss those disrespectful punk kids, and their undesired proximity to our lawns. :P

    Would I be right if I guessed that this kid was in his late teens, probably wears baggy pants, and pretends he's a hardass?

    I bet he's got spinners and maybe a phat grill. Yo.

    If he's got spinners, they're on a beat-up Ford Taurus he got third-hand. None of the kids at the community college I taught at had nice cars. Roughly half of them lived with their parents, which made the thug-life attitude from the problem-children especially hilarious.

  • EndomaticEndomatic Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Feel good for what you've done. You've been kind to someone for no (required) reason. You're supposed to feel good about that.

    The irony of your sisters boyfriends statement is quite interesting as well.

  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    SammyF wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT we discuss those disrespectful punk kids, and their undesired proximity to our lawns. :P

    Would I be right if I guessed that this kid was in his late teens, probably wears baggy pants, and pretends he's a hardass?

    I bet he's got spinners and maybe a phat grill. Yo.

    If he's got spinners, they're on a beat-up Ford Taurus he got third-hand. None of the kids at the community college I taught at had nice cars. Roughly half of them lived with their parents, which made the thug-life attitude from the problem-children especially hilarious.

    You're goddamn right he's got spinners!

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  • WillethWilleth Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    The only thing you came close to doing wrong here was not offering her a cough drop earlier. If that's the worst thing you did then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

    What your sister's boyfriend may have meant was that it wasn't your place to apologise for everyone else. I can kinda see that, but still, it wasn't wrong.

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  • JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster Kitteh Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ITT we discuss those disrespectful punk kids, and their undesired proximity to our lawns. :P

    Would I be right if I guessed that this kid was in his late teens, probably wears baggy pants, and pretends he's a hardass?

    Try mid-20s. I couldn't believe it when he started making like a wise-ass. I mean, that's high-school shit. I thought I left that behind years and years ago, when I got done with high school and all its drama and bullshit.

    And I'm not a fan of people mouthing off to old ladies. She's doing her job. If you give her grief, we lose time during the class while we all turn to look at the imbecile who apparently thinks he's awesome because he gave shit to a math teacher at a community college.

    At least I got a good bit of instruction on a section that USED to give me a lot of fits, but now it's one I understand completely. I just hope she throws a surprise quiz on that section tomorrow just so I can see thirty-five faces go completely WHITE.

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  • DarwinsFavoriteTortoiseDarwinsFavoriteTortoise Registered User
    edited February 2009
    What?

    Do you need someone to tell you you're a good person or something? Do you just want recognition?

    I mean, good job on not being a dick to the teacher and offering some kindness, but I don't see where the confusion is concerning whether you did something right or wrong.

    How could being nice to another human being be WRONG?

  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    How could being nice to another human being be WRONG?

    The douchebag his sister is dating seems to think so.

    I agree that maybe you shouldn't interfere directly with the assholes in classes, but you did. Everything you did was right.

  • LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    You did a good thing. How sad that people in their mid-20s were acting like that, most people have grown out of it by that point.

  • RNEMESiS42RNEMESiS42 Registered User
    edited February 2009
    I don't know why you'd question just being a normal person. I'm guessing you wanted to share the story?

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  • WeretacoWeretaco Cubicle Gangster Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Honestly you'd be in your rights to tell those guys off if they're disrupting the class. This is post secondary right? This means you are paying for the course and these clowns take away from what you are paying for. Feel free to speak up to them and be in the right as they are indeed douchebags.

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  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    Yeah, of course you did the right thing, I think you probably know that though ;)

    Good job.

    Not confronting the trouble makers in class was a good idea as well as the teacher seemed to be able to ultimate control them by getting rid of them. I'd say making a complaint to the dean or the head of the department about the behaviour of your classmates wouldn't be out of order though, if you want to stick it to them. As an employee your teacher shouldn't need to deal with that shit in class and as, essentially, a paying customer neither should you.

  • RotamRotam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Of course you did the right thing. The teacher didn't really deserve that at all, seeing as she was trying to do her job.

    I'm just astonished that these people are in their 20's. I guess its understandable if this is coming out of a 15 year old, I didn't really know my place at that age, admittedly.

  • SlagmireSlagmire Registered User
    edited February 2009
    First off, you're going to college - granted, it's community college which at times can feel like it's just High School+ (I went to CC myself - had a class or two like this, but for the most part it was fine), but you're paying for this education and there's nothing wrong with getting the most out of it. Secondly, how often do you have that kind of thing happen in class where most of the classroom just up and bolts? It's story-worthy, and your sister's boyfriend is just being a twat.

  • OhioOhio Registered User
    edited February 2009
    I went to community college for a couple years. It was a good way to save money but that's about the only positive. I had a class exactly like what you're describing. It was called Interpersonal Communication. The teacher was a nice lady, but way too timid and weak-willed to be dealing with the jackasses in the class, people exactly like what you're dealing with.

    I was always in the same spot as you - feeling very bad for the teacher, and very annoyed at the same idiots ruining it every day. The class itself was a waste, so at least I wasn't missing anything valuable. But yeah, these people are paying money to be there. Why do this?

    Community College is nothing more than the 13th grade.

  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Ohio wrote: »
    It was called Interpersonal Communication. The teacher was a nice lady, but way too timid and weak-willed to be dealing with the jackasses in the class, people exactly like what you're dealing with.

    I find this very ironic. You would think that if she were teaching that course she'd be a strong communicator and able to control a class.

  • Bionic MonkeyBionic Monkey Registered User, ClubPA
    edited February 2009
    Ohio wrote: »
    Community College is nothing more than the 13th grade.

    Odd. I went to a CC for two years before transferring to a 4-year, and I found my experiences to be the exact opposite. The CC was a far more adult atmosphere, where as I felt like I was stuck in high school again when I went to University.

    Regardless, yes OP, you did the right thing.

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  • EndomaticEndomatic Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Ohio wrote: »
    Community College is nothing more than the 13th grade.

    Odd. I went to a CC for two years before transferring to a 4-year, and I found my experiences to be the exact opposite. The CC was a far more adult atmosphere, where as I felt like I was stuck in high school again when I went to University.

    Regardless, yes OP, you did the right thing.

    I find this easy to believe.

    I think most CC students are adults returning to study as a stepping stone to a 4 year. They've had some experiences and are more prepared to take things seriously. That's what my view was anyway.

    I went to Uni after highschool and pissed the opportunity away. I returned to CC a few years later and was much more mature and prepared to get my education.
    They (whomever) should encourage some sort of break between high school and university. There would probably be far more people that successfully graduate.

  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I for one don't think the OP did the right thing at all.
    Spoiler:

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  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 a.k.a. Nubmonger/Antaeus#1352, 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion Oakland, CARegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    CC is a very mixed bag - it depends on the class you are taking, the time the class is held, and the demographic makeup of the class.

    Long story short, if it's some dumbass class like Remedial Math for Fuckwats at 11am filled with middle-class teenagers who are there only because if they aren't, their parents will kick them out of the house, then you will get dbag behavior all around. If it's a night class and it's something like Chemistry Lab or English as a Second Language, mostly you'll find students who are trying to focus and get out of CC or adults who actually work for a living and hence don't have time/patience for that stupid shit.

    Much like high school, if you get a loser kid in a class predominately made up of serious students, dbag kids like that don't have the balls to act up because they know adults are in the room. Adults who have no problem telling you they are paying for their education, they are here on their free time after work, and you need to get the fuck up and leave. If you're one of 5 serious students in a class of 35, then there's really not much you can do beyond allow the teacher to assert his/her authority.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
  • TK-42-1TK-42-1 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    you are a nice guy and the bf is one of those kids that pulls shit like that. hopefully they wont come back, or if they do they will keep their shit to themselves. if they keep it up dont be afraid to say something to them. if nothing else ask for $250 or whatever the class costs since he's wasting the money you spent to take it with his juvenile bullshit. the worst is he calls you a fag.

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  • JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster Kitteh Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Okay. I don't have any names, but I'll think about writing a letter to the dean about it.

    Okay, sounds like I know what to do about them. I'd say this thread needs a lock.

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