Kal'Udib faces his Death

F87

I have received a lot of advice about how boring my art is. With consideration to composition, mood, and subject matter, I have constructed the very basis of an image that feels appropriate so far, and I am trying to develop this into a better concept. What I enjoy at this point is, at its core, this is an image I love to see executed well.

I have started this thread with the hopes that you could help me finish this. I want specific critique on the composition to begin with, then I will move on to the lighting and mood. Anyways, here it is:



I chose a simple, somewhat cliche subject, but I want to take it a different direction. The bright lighting from the lava/river is for lighting and mood.

1. Does the lava/river flowing off the page destroy the composition?
2. How can I improve the composition?

As always, I really appreciate any feedback and advice that can be given. I really want to get better at this.

Heartlash

1. Not really.

2. What you've got appears to be a good conceptual start. However, I feel like you can use exaggeration and framing adjustments to improve upon both the feeling of impending dread and the idea of courage (standing before your death).

If one is facing death, one is facing something greater than themselves. This should be your thought process when deciding on framing. Right now, you've got the character looking up at a larger being. From his perspective, this denotes such terror. The problem is, our viewing angle of the scene is downwards. We are above your giant, and therefore do not experience the same sense of overbearing odds. Try positioning our POV lower, with your character. This will make the situation not only appear to be dire, but FEEL dire.

Additionally, consider making your smaller character feel smaller, perhaps more ragged or injured. Make it look like he's really enduring something.

That's all I got for now.

NotASenator

Here's a few things, I notice right off:

First, everything seems far away from me, as the viewer. I feel detached from what's going on.

Secondly, I don't immediately sense any action. I'm unclear of what is going on in the scene, maybe they are supposed to be just standing there facing each other, but there's certainly nothing conveyed in the poses. If you are trying to capture an action, then capture it in the action. Right now it seems to be the moment before anything happens.

Anyways, before I give any advice, I guess I need to know what is happening in the scene.

NibCrom

I think maybe you're being a little hard on yourself. Or maybe we were?

Anyways, to add to what Heartlash said, or maybe to just be redundant, what is your GOAL for this piece? The subject seems interesting, some sort of impending fight? But what is the guy doing there? Is he just observing? Is he frightened? Or brave? He just kind of looks like he's standing there. From looking at your doodles, I think you have a great deal of talent already for rendering forms. Now we need to see some direction for your art. Does your piece tell a story? Would someone in a museum pause to look at your piece?

Sorry if this sounds harsh. I'm trying to make a point to critique and not criticize, but you seem determined to make your art better. So keep at it!

F87

Hey! That's great advice guys, thanks.

I have done a second version and tried to pull the camera down and make the scene feel more urgent.

Is this better?

Obs

That second one kind of makes me feel like I'm playing WoW or an RPG or something.

Heartlash

Hugely better IMO.

Metalbourne

Make the lava river snake toward the giant instead of just cutting the scene in half.

Shiboe

Heartlash wrote: »

Hugely better IMO.

Agreed. Keep it nice and dark. I almost want to see the giant larger and partially cropped out due to size. Or maybe have him coming around a boulder towards the subject. Just standing there it's like WoW or something, where the boss doesn't engage you till you aggro it. (ugh)

crawdaddio

It seems there's a consensus about needing more of an indication of action, which I actually kind of want to challenge a bit, with a name.

David.

Specificially, I mean Michaelangelo's David, which, according to some interpretations, breaks away from traditional representations in depicting David before his battle with Goliath, representing "the moment between conscious choice and conscious action" (if it's considered appropriate to quote Wikipedia). I suppose I'm basically saying that I see a parallel between the scenario depicted in your art, and in the story of David and Goliath, and I think you could use that really effectively if you could find a way to depict that same sort of tense calm. I suppose it depends on the atmosphere you want to convey, in which case I would reiterate NotACrook's request for a little background; nothing you necessarily have to include in the piece, but something that'll help us help you effectively portray it.

I also want to break from the pack in saying that although I agree that the second composition is better in many ways, I personally actually lost some sense of the challenge ahead of Kal'Udib, partly, I think, because the pose seems more aggresive, and partly because the point of view is below him, too, which kind of aggrandizes him as well as his challenger (it's a word, I looked it up).

I may be full of horseshit, though, so it may be a better idea to go with the consensus here. Either way, it's good stuff, and quite intriguing.

F87

crawdaddio - Thanks man, I'm really going to have to think about what you said.

Here is the latest update. A lot of work left to do.

Fabricate

The character in the foreground's pose seems rather static compared to everything else going on.

Perhaps having him in a stance that either mimics or reflects the way the giant is moving would be beneficial.

Or maybe something conveying bravery or heroism a bit better

Shiboe

YES F87 that's exactly what I had in mind! /swoon

And in opposition to Fabricate, I love his stance. It's exactly what it's supposed to be. Calm acceptance to face one's impending death. He isn't turning to run. He isn't tense. He is ready.

edit: Might want to give it more horizontal space. Seems a little tight on the sides. Maybe I'm the only one that is liking this most recent one though. =/
I love the cropping though if only just because it makes some uneasiness and people are saying not to lol.

Mykonos

I agree with craw in that both compositions are very different, none being better than the other, its only a matter of what your wanting to accomplish.

Right now that last one I'm not seeing much of a focus especially without any real indicators of interest I should be looking. Just adding something simple like red eyes to that monster will really make it stand out (assuming of course that was your intent and where u wanted my attention to end up). Also, you have a huge amount of potential to tell a story here and I think your missing it. The biggest fault of this is the static pose of the man you have your forground. Is he gonna run? pull out a sword and kick some ass? Is he caught up in a OMGWTFBBQ? I can't tell, and you don't have him ordained with anything noteworthy to tell us what he's doing there in the first place. Granted these are elements you don't have to have, but for good composition being a able to tell such a story is pivotal and sticks with the viewers minds far longer. Lastly, should your monsters face be the center of interest, try lowering to shwere its not cropped, and brush the man off the side. Perhaps add a gausian blur on him to contrast the sharpness of the rendering on the monster. On of the biggest moments of awsome is to have the lava guide my eyes right where you want them to end up.

Good luck with all this, tons of potential here. Be sure to flip the canvas 180 while working - great way to spot errors and see if composition works.

F87

Thanks for the great crits everyone.

I'm going to work on this a lot tomorrow.

1. Define the focus more.
2. Tweak the pose some.
3. Finalize the composition and background some.
4. Somehow add more story to the image? More mood?
5. detail and clean up.

I really want to finish this one!

rts

I liked it better when the giant was dragging the weapon honestly.

surrealitycheck

This is going to sound odd, but I really like how the unfocused dark shapes almost let the scene work on its own. I do prefer the latter two - although the pose of the monster in the final piece should perhaps look as though his arms are heavy - but I'd be confident in this turning out well!

Projeck

yeah i would make the ogre-dude draggin' his sword again

Mustang

Just an idea but have you considered having your charachter facing away from the beast towards the camera? It'd be a bit more interesting than the regular cliche showdown.

Mykonos

Mustang wrote: »

Just an idea but have you considered having your charachter facing away from the beast towards the camera? It'd be a bit more interesting than the regular cliche showdown.

Add comical 'oh noes!' face and that would rock

Sublimus

Wow! great start, frank!

I don't currently understand what the character is doing really. Why is he in the cave? Why is he not afraid of the monster? In general, he lacks a sense of purpose.

Try and think about why he is there, and how he would react, and the image will be a lot more engaging.

but again, great start. its already come a long way.