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Why end users shouldn't try to be IT Heroes

2

Posts

  • FishmanFishman scientia potentia est Robot ProvocateurRegistered User regular
    NotACrook wrote: »
    computer

    Hello, computer?

    500px-ScottyTalksToMac.jpg

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • jwalkjwalk frosty Registered User regular
    I BROKE TEH CUPHOLDER!

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    YES FISHMAN.


    I AM FOR YOU.

  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    Fishman wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    computer

    Hello, computer?

    500px-ScottyTalksToMac.jpg


    This is the best.

    bO0v7.png
  • DruhimDruhim Usagi's cuddlefish Registered User, ClubPA regular
    STOP THE DOWNLOADIN'

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • jwalkjwalk frosty Registered User regular
    Macro9 wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Macro9 wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Macro sucks cottage cheese off a rabbi's testicles.


    ComputerProbs.jpg

    What the hell is with that room?



    That's what Hell looks like.
    I'm uh, pretty sure he's taking a whiz on that computer.

  • TavTav Registered User regular
    Computer, kill Flanders

  • DruhimDruhim Usagi's cuddlefish Registered User, ClubPA regular
    jwalk wrote: »
    Macro9 wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Macro9 wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Macro sucks cottage cheese off a rabbi's testicles.


    ComputerProbs.jpg

    What the hell is with that room?



    That's what Hell looks like.
    I'm uh, pretty sure he's taking a whiz on that computer.
    duh

    he was asking about the room decor

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    jwalk wrote: »
    Macro9 wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Macro9 wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Macro sucks cottage cheese off a rabbi's testicles.


    ComputerProbs.jpg

    What the hell is with that room?



    That's what Hell looks like.
    I'm uh, pretty sure he's taking a whiz on that computer.

    I'm talking about the painted glass mug and the shimmery star curtains and all that.

    EDIT: Dru!

  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    I'm uh compuuuuuutah

    lost_sig2.png
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    Tav wrote: »
    It turns out that the proper name of the college course I want is "computational science".

    It's a much neater name then "comp sci". I'm going to tell everyone that I'm a computational engineer.

    And everyone's going to know you're just gonna end up at geek squad.

    Also I do tech support and olol users are dumb but the pay is good and these people have better things to do with their time than know how to fix computers or use new, complicated software. They make enough money that they can pay us to do it.

    What is aggravating is when a user just asks "why isn't this specific tool/hardware working?" without providing any context for what they are trying to do. I have spent hours trying to get customers to just fess up to what they want to do so I can explain to them they are doing it in exactly the most difficult possibly way they could possibly do it. (or that what they are trying to accomplish makes no sense and that's why the result makes no sense)

  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    MrMonroe why is my self-cleaning keyboard jammed

    lost_sig2.png
  • jwalkjwalk frosty Registered User regular
    I dunno about the decor man, a teenage girl's room?

    I'm just saying, pretty sure ur dog is in ur computer, makin pee.

  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    MrMonroe why is my self-cleaning keyboard jammed

    actually that one is common enough that I know the answer off-hand. Send it in for replacement and start using a tube sock while browsing bigbuttstinyheads.com

  • AirAir Registered User regular
    i had a dream that my dog got shot and i was scared as shit and trying to comfort him as he was whimpering and get him to a vet but it wasnt looking good and then i woke up

    so i called my dog into my room and was petting him and hugging him and such and then he vomited on my bed

    now he is under my bed

    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Greatest Wizard In All of Ooo. Cantrip!Registered User regular
    I DON' KNOW TOO MUCH BOUT COMPUTAS

    I-I PLAY A COUPLE GAMES ON'EM

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Cowboy Fwankenstein Livin' That DreamRegistered User regular
    Air wrote: »
    i had a dream that my dog got shot and i was scared as shit and trying to comfort him as he was whimpering and get him to a vet but it wasnt looking good and then i woke up

    so i called my dog into my room and was petting him and hugging him and such and then he vomited on my bed

    now he is under my bed

    At least your dog is alive. I had a dream the other night where Callius and I were hanging out, getting drunk and he pulled out a machete and went to chop my head off. Right as the blade came down, I thought, "Dustin has really nice taste in eyewear." And then I woke up. I told Callius and he sent me a picture of his brand new, pimp as hell specs.

    I didn't know the man wore glasses. I am doomed to death by machete.

    darthsig.jpg
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I DON' KNOW TOO MUCH BOUT COMPUTAS

    I-I PLAY A COUPLE GAMES ON'EM

    get that kid off my ice you little wankas

    lost_sig2.png
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Greatest Wizard In All of Ooo. Cantrip!Registered User regular
    kaz lets run away together

  • bombardierbombardier Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    This email is about someone who makes a high six figure income as a stock trader and who also sounds like a 13 year old girl when you talk to her...

    Kelly is still experiencing periodic slowness and needs to have this remedied asap as it is causing stress on her joints to be pressing on the mouse and keyboard so hard, etc.

  • jwalkjwalk frosty Registered User regular
    I hate it when chicks get periodic slowness.

  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    what the hell does that mean?

    also, just teach the girl to type properly.

  • FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    Them: Hi, We have a new printer, Can you send someone over to install it?

    Me: What type of printer is it?

    Them: HP laserjet

    Me: Usually that is followed by a combination of letters and or numbers. Is this a networked printer or just local to her machine?

    Them: local

    Me: /facepalm

    Nothing to see here. move along...
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Cowboy Fwankenstein Livin' That DreamRegistered User regular
    When I did IT sales to major corporations, I had end users try to pump me for tech support constantly.

    "So, how do I get this new thing installed?"

    "Do you have an IT department?"

    "I don't know"

    "How many people work at your physical location?"

    "About nine hundred. Why?"

    "You have an IT department; they are the ones that need to help you."

    "But why can't you help me?"

    "Would you ask a car salesman to work on your car or would you rather a mechanic did it?"

    "Good point. I'll call IT. Do you have their number?"

    *HEAD-DESK*

    darthsig.jpg
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    At least your dog is alive. I had a dream the other night where Callius and I were hanging out, getting drunk and he pulled out a machete and went to chop my head off. Right as the blade came down, I thought, "Dustin has really nice taste in eyewear." And then I woke up. I told Callius and he sent me a picture of his brand new, pimp as hell specs.

    I didn't know the man wore glasses. I am doomed to death by machete.
    Oh shit, I picked up my glasses today.

    They are fucking sharp as hell man. You have no idea.

    tonksigblack.png
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Callius wrote: »
    At least your dog is alive. I had a dream the other night where Callius and I were hanging out, getting drunk and he pulled out a machete and went to chop my head off. Right as the blade came down, I thought, "Dustin has really nice taste in eyewear." And then I woke up. I told Callius and he sent me a picture of his brand new, pimp as hell specs.

    I didn't know the man wore glasses. I am doomed to death by machete.
    Oh shit, I picked up my glasses today.

    They are fucking sharp as hell man. You have no idea.

    sharp as a machete?

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Cowboy Fwankenstein Livin' That DreamRegistered User regular
    sharp as a machete?

    If I suddenly stop posting, you guys will know why.

    Now, who could that be at the door?

    brb

    darthsig.jpg
  • FishmanFishman scientia potentia est Robot ProvocateurRegistered User regular
    You know, every time some posts something like this, I end up here

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • emericanaemericana Registered User
    itt nerd circlejerk

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    I have no pity for you. I worked tech support for 5 years, 1999-2004. I had to deal with modem drivers, init strings, morons, etc. We had a guy that formatted his computer weekly just because he thought it was good practice. I've talked to people who not only couldn't spell their own username (that they picked when they got the account) but couldn't spell me their own last name so I could look up their info.

    I have a recorded conversation with an old lady that said she wanted spam. When I told her she didn't want spam she argued with me.

    I have another one where someone threatened to sue me because the images in her eBay auction weren't showing up and she was losing money by the second....she was selling post cards she found in her attic for 28 cents a piece.

    No pity. They're the users, their job is to fuck your shit up, your job is to fix it....over and over and over again.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus The machine is broken. The universe is broken.Registered User regular
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I DON' KNOW TOO MUCH BOUT COMPUTAS

    I-I PLAY A COUPLE GAMES ON'EM

    get that kid off my ice you little wankas

    I believe I knew your mother, son.

  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger Registered User regular
    Air wrote: »
    i had a dream that my dog got shot and i was scared as shit and trying to comfort him as he was whimpering and get him to a vet but it wasnt looking good and then i woke up

    so i called my dog into my room and was petting him and hugging him and such and then he vomited on my bed

    now he is under my bed

    At least your dog is alive. I had a dream the other night where Callius and I were hanging out, getting drunk and he pulled out a machete and went to chop my head off. Right as the blade came down, I thought, "Dustin has really nice taste in eyewear." And then I woke up. I told Callius and he sent me a picture of his brand new, pimp as hell specs.

    I didn't know the man wore glasses. I am doomed to death by machete.

    pix now plz

    the op sure is a smart guy! wow!

    All throwing IT holier than thou jerkwad words around like whoa

    fricking jerkface

    the IT guys at my college were really damn stupid or really damn lazy, not sure which. Five or six full timers, like a dozen student workers at a tiny college, and they "don't have time" to do anything but do a system wipe/reinstall for anything. They were mostly a bunch of unwashed creepy amounts of rings on the fingers larpers though.

    I play games on ps3. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
  • jwalkjwalk frosty Registered User regular
    Because anything else cuts into their WoW time too much.

  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger Registered User regular
    My favorite IT douchebag from college was Conellius. Maybe it was Cornelius. This guy looked super-Irish-- pale complexion with ruddy cheeks and nose, red hair, the face, everything. Inexplicably, he had a ridiculous Eastern European accent and was completely "whaa?" to understand. He was at least 10 years older than every student, but he constantly hit on the college girls.

    I play games on ps3. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
  • AretèAretè infiltrating neo zeed compoundRegistered User regular
    I'm a PC Repairman-man-man-man-man

    pasig.jpg
    Steam | Fitocracy | leggomypaleo | XBL|PSN|WiiU::ninjafrizz
  • AphostileAphostile Registered User regular
    Our IT Department is useless.

    This, combined with the OP, proves that all IT people hired to be IT people are in fact, useless.

    End proof.

    Tinychat is dead. Long live Tinychat. D3 BTag: Aphostile#1366 OKC
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I DON' KNOW TOO MUCH BOUT COMPUTAS

    I-I PLAY A COUPLE GAMES ON'EM

    get that kid off my ice you little wankas

    I believe I knew your mother, son.

    Who wants a body massage?

  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    Staxeon wrote: »
    We had a guy that formatted his computer weekly just because he thought it was good practice.
    I was doing tech support for an ISP around 2000, and I had a coworker that did this.

    God that job was hell.

    walrus.png
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I DON' KNOW TOO MUCH BOUT COMPUTAS

    I-I PLAY A COUPLE GAMES ON'EM

    get that kid off my ice you little wankas

    I believe I knew your mother, son.

    Who wants a body massage?

    Johnny... do ya play baseball?

  • MorivethMoriveth Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I DON' KNOW TOO MUCH BOUT COMPUTAS

    I-I PLAY A COUPLE GAMES ON'EM

    get that kid off my ice you little wankas

    I believe I knew your mother, son.

    Who wants a body massage?

    Johnny... do ya play baseball?

    Oh shit, get the fuck outta here! What the fuck are you doing you stupid idiot, get the fuck out of here!

    KanjiSig.png
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