This diet will be the death of me

Zuel

So, the wife is trying this South Beath diet thing. And somehow I got talked into doing it too. We're only on the fourth day and I'm hating life. For the first two weeks we can't have any carbs. No bread, pasta, fruit, ect. So I'm basically walking aroung with a head of lettuce in one hand and a ham in the other, taking intermittent bites.
Anyone tried this horrible diet? Does this shit work?

Mister Longbaugh

no.

Jigrah

Diets are terrible, I am on one right now. It pretty much allows me to eat anything I want except for things that would follow under the dessert and fast food categories. It's terrible, I have all this Easter candy and I can't eat it.

I have the biggest sweet tooth too, just nommin on candy all day if I could.

Jigrah

Mister Longbaugh wrote: »

no.

Longbaugh enjoys being too hideously fat to impart on such a journey.

It will work, but because you are controlling what you are eating and not because the diet is anything special or amazing.

Linksville

It doesn't work. The best diet: eat well balanced meals, get more exercise. That's it.

bsjezz

diets work excellently assuming you stick to them for your whole life

Goatmon

Going without carbs diet is retarded, you're basically torturing yourself in a way that you can't possibly see yourself keeping up, which makes the whole thing pointless unless you're desperately fat.

Moderation is the key, as is cutting down bad carbs. Cutting out carbs altogether is masochistic.

ChicoBlue

Stop being stupid.

Eat a sandwich, and go for a walk.

Tweaked_Bat_

Goatmon is right about bad carbs.

The reason so many people are overweight is because of the empty carbs they consume.

Mister Longbaugh

there goes jigrah, being retarded again.

autono-wally, erotibot300

diet never fucking works, and if you think they do, you're a toolbag.
what works: eat differently (less calories), do more sports (or any) to use more calories
success

Jigrah

Mister Longbaugh wrote: »

there goes jigrah, being retarded again.

It's okay, we all know you are not hideously fat.

ChicoBlue

Why would you follow a diet that recommends not eating fruit?

Bearstranaut

Jigrah wrote: »

Mister Longbaugh wrote: »

no.

Longbaugh enjoys being too hideously fat to impart on such a journey.

It will work, but because you are controlling what you are eating and not because the diet is anything special or amazing.

HEY!

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE FICTIONAL FAT ONE

ultraexactzz

here's how you deal with the South Beach Diet.

1) Nod and agree to everything she says.
2) Enjoy her tasty and bland south beach diet foods. Insist that the expensive SBD Brand items are for her alone - this will show your support while letting you avoid that shit like the plague.
3) Eat Fast food at work (I have lots of lunch meetings these days, funny that)
4) Make sure she loses more weight than you do - you'll probably maintain or lose a pound here or there.

Lunch is my favorite meal now.

Tweaked_Bat_

Don't eat fast food for lunch at work.

That is also a dumb idea.

Here's a smart idea:

Eat something healthy in moderation.

Fletcher

lift some weights

eat some steaks

bsjezz

Tweaked_Bat_ wrote: »

Don't eat fast food for lunch at work.

That is also a dumb idea.

Here's a smart idea:

Eat something healthy in moderation.

what, no

eating fast food at lunch is the best thing about going to work

Zuel

ChicoBlue wrote: »

Why would you follow a diet that recommends not eating fruit?

This is my biggest complaint. But, it's only for the first two weeks so I'll give it a shot. We're both just trying to loose 10lbs that regualr diet and exercise just can't seem to trim off.

bsjezz

Zuel wrote: »

ChicoBlue wrote: »

Why would you follow a diet that recommends not eating fruit?

This is my biggest complaint. But, it's only for the first two weeks so I'll give it a shot. We're both just trying to loose 10lbs that regualr diet and exercise just can't seem to trim off.

you know those 10 pounds will come back when you stop, right

Bearstranaut

ten pounds in two weeks?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

or at least a heart murmur

Tweaked_Bat_

Also I just checked up on this "South Beach Diet".

You guys

It's actually a good diet as far as diets go. It does all the things you;re meant to do when you want to look after yourself and eat healthy.

How about you fucking read about it:

"Good carbs" vs "Bad carbs"
According to Agatston, hunger cycles are triggered not by carbohydrates in general, but by carbohydrate-rich foods that the body digests quickly, creating a spike in blood sugar. Such foods include the heavily refined sugars and grains that make up a large part of the typical Western diet. The South Beach Diet eliminates these carbohydrate sources in favor of relatively unprocessed foods such as vegetables, beans, and whole grains.
[edit]"Good fats" vs "Bad fats"
Given that South Beach Diet was designed by a cardiologist, it should be no surprise that it eliminates trans-fats and discourages saturated fats. Although foods rich in these "bad fats" do not contribute to the hunger cycle, they do contribute to LDL cholesterol and heart disease. The South Beach Diet replaces them with foods rich in unsaturated fats and omega-3 fatty acid which contribute to HDL cholesterol and provide other health benefits. Specifically, the diet excludes the fatty portions of red meat and poultry, replacing them with lean meats, nuts, and oily fish.
[edit]Phases
Agatston divides the South Beach Diet into three phases, each progressively becoming more liberal. "Phase 1" lasts for the first two weeks of the diet. It eliminates all sugars, processed carbohydrates, fruits, and some higher-glycemic vegetables as well. Its purpose is to eliminate the hunger cycle and is expected to result in significant weight loss. "Phase 2" continues as long as the dieter wishes to lose weight. It re-introduces most fruits and vegetables and some whole grains as well. "Phase 3" is the maintenance phase and lasts for life. There is no specific list of permitted and prohibited foods. Instead, the dieter is expected to understand the basic principles of the diet and live by them.

Zuel

bsjezz wrote: »

Zuel wrote: »

ChicoBlue wrote: »

Why would you follow a diet that recommends not eating fruit?

This is my biggest complaint. But, it's only for the first two weeks so I'll give it a shot. We're both just trying to loose 10lbs that regualr diet and exercise just can't seem to trim off.

you know those 10 pounds will come back when you stop, right

Historically, that seems to be the case for me. But maybe this time I can keep it off.

Jigrah

Bearstranaut wrote: »

ten pounds in two weeks?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

or at least a heart murmur

You read it wrong, the goal is to lose ten pounds. The diet varies and is on a schedule. For these two weeks he can't eat carbs, after that though the diet opens up carbs.

Tweaked_Bat_

It's pretty obvious stuff.

Cut out the shit carbs in your diet and refined/processed sugars. Cut down trans and saturated fats.

These are good things to be cutting

The_Scarab

autono-wally, erotibot300 wrote: »

diet never fucking works, and if you think they do, you're a toolbag.
what works: eat differently (less calories)

Is that not dieting?

bsjezz

i love cooking food way too much to go on some kind of diet

unless it was the use shitloads of olive oil, chillies and garlic diet

Tweaked_Bat_

Nothing wrong with olive oil, chillies and garlic.

Unless you're uh, drinking the olive oil from the can.

Jigrah

Tweaked_Bat_ wrote: »

Nothing wrong with olive oil, chillies and garlic.

Unless you're uh, drinking the olive oil from the can.

Tasteless man, don't you know thats a big problem for the Italian hobos?

ChicoBlue

Tweaked, why did you have to come in here with information?

Why wont you just let me assume that something called the South Beach Diet is stupid and not make me read up on it?

It's almost 6 in the morning.

mastman

autono-wally, erotibot300 wrote: »

diet never fucking works, and if you think they do, you're a toolbag.
what works: eat differently (less calories)

in a way, the south beach diet gets you to eat way less calories. Not eating carbs will naturally cut out a fuckton of calories.

Tweaked_Bat_

ChicoBlue wrote: »

Tweaked, why did you have to come in here with information?

Why wont you just let me assume that something called the South Beach Diet is stupid and not make me read up on it?

It's almost 6 in the morning.

Chico, you know deep down in your heart that I wanted it to be some lame fad as much as you did, but my curiosity got the better of me and I had to inspect it.

Now I regret this decision, because I cannot mock Zuel mercilessly.

Fletcher

the south beach diet was invented by edward south in 1942

the south beach diet has only one restriction: you can only eat beaches or parts of beaches

sand is okay as it is part of a beach

lettuce is not because it is not part of a beach

rocks are acceptable, but only if they were found at the beach

Tweaked_Bat_

Fletcher wrote: »

the south beach diet was invented by edward south in 1942

the south beach diet has only one restriction: you can only eat beaches or parts of beaches

sand is okay as it is part of a beach

lettuce is not because it is not part of a beach

rocks are acceptable, but only if they were found at the beach

What if a whale or other marine life get stranded on a beach? I'm assuming they are part of the diet...

Also, would kelp be a suitable substitute for lettuce?

Wren

you'd have to go on that diet for the rest of your life for it to "work". otherwise you'll lose 10 pounds then go back to eating normally and gain back the 10 pounds again because your original habits were just as bad. what you need to do is get a super fast metabolism like me. the only downside is that you get -10% resistance to radiation and poisons

Tweaked_Bat_

Yes, well, the diet states that the third phase or maintenance phase should last forever.

If you want a "diet" to stick, you need to make a lifestyle change.

Fletcher

Tweaked_Bat_ wrote: »

Fletcher wrote: »

the south beach diet was invented by edward south in 1942

the south beach diet has only one restriction: you can only eat beaches or parts of beaches

sand is okay as it is part of a beach

lettuce is not because it is not part of a beach

rocks are acceptable, but only if they were found at the beach

What if a whale or other marine life get stranded on a beach? I'm assuming they are part of the diet...

Also, would kelp be a suitable substitute for lettuce?

those things are not usually part of a beach; that there is strike three for you mister

pack up your things and get out of the diet

Darkness Mundus

SBD pizzas are delicious.

Platy

Tweaked_Bat_ wrote: »

Yes, well, the diet states that the third phase or maintenance phase should last forever.

If you want a "diet" to stick, you need to make a lifestyle change.

Forever? Isn't breast milk composed of both protein and carbohydrates? I'm no expert, but this diet seems like a bad idea if you're going to be pregnant or breastfeed.

Wren

or plan on living

Synthetic Orange

I lost a whole lot of weight.

Shaved off all my hair.

My head feels cold.