Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

[Mustachealalia++] MUSTACHES ALL THE TIME

DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
edited May 2009 in Social Entropy++

Starring:
Captain Gary Thrustwaist
First Mate Dubh McStubblylegs
Chief of Security Matt Scorp
Co-helmsman Tommy Wings
Nano-tech Engineer Loeli
Archivist Locth D'Out
Helmsman Speed Racer
Senior Marketing Manager Tomarli


Seasons 1-5 now on DVD and Blu-ray!
[1]
[2]
[3]
[4]
[5]

Soundtrack coming soon!

[Recent Adventures]
When we last left our heroes, they had completely fucked up reviving the Urson on account of being total assholes. But wait! It turns out there was another way. Being a super advanced race of flying space bears the Urson had planned for this eventuality. The Urson had created four data colonies that, when combined with the Tehlikron, could be used to re-create a non-nazi Urson civilization. Each disc had been hidden on a
distant planet, but not hidden well enough from the scurvy crew of the Ursa Majoris!

Last time on Tales of the Ursa Majoris:

The crew enters the dark heart of space- a true vacuum that (illogically) blots out the stars. Unfortunately, it's not as empty as advertised and the crew finds itself in a place that can only be conceived from the nightmares of the bastard child of Escher and Picasso- someplace where the very laws of the universe are bent, and the hubris of man can result in limbs being blown off...

Will Gary lose his erection? Will Speed stop dying, or Dubh find something to stab?

And what of the nega crew, closing in on Thrustwaist's Eight?

Only time can tell...

[Map of Captain Thrustwaist's Ursa Majoris]
Spoiler:


[Dubh]
Dubh turns and flees. [16] Diving behind a dented old cargo container lying in the alleyway. The reflective masks follow. The reflective masks hate him.

His heart racing, Dubh tries to keep quiet. Dubh tries to hide. Gideon puts a hand on Dubh's shoulder and smiles. Gideon is not afraid. Gideon steps out from behind the cargo container.

The reflective masks hate him.

Dubh wakes up, panting, sweating. He is in a room made of bodies. A room made of lost friendships, of lost brothers and sisters. The only light in the room comes from the blood pooling on ground.

The blood on his hands.

[Tommy]
Tommy dives into the glade and slams the door shut. The things can not reach him here, and they hate that. They hate him, but it doesn't matter here. Nothing matters here. Here there is only the babbling of the water, the cool breeze between the trees, and the taste of the berries on the bushes. He is safe here.

The things hate his safety, but it does not matter here.

Tommy can stay here, he can let himself lie here, let himself sleep. He can let himself fade away, become one with the rocks and the plants.

He can disappear here. He can fade away here.

The things would hate that.

[Tomarli]
Tomarli steps through the fire.

Tomarli awakens in a dark room. There are many people here. They do not notice Tomarli. They do not acknowledge him. They are laughing. They are having so much fun, but Tomarli cannot see what they are laughing at.

Things move amongst the crowd, but they do not see them. They do not acknowledge them.

The things hate them.

[Locth]
Locth steps through the fire.

He wakes up in a small metal cot, in a small metal room. The only light here is from the glowing of the vidscreen, blaring static at him. He can feel something moving within the white noise on the screen. There are things there, things that swim through the static.

Outside, he can here his mother and father screaming in agony, and the sounds of blades scraping against metal.

The things in the screen hate his parents.

[Speed and Ytlkrek]
Ytlkrek's eyes widen in surprise for a moment, but she quickly follows along, wrapping her arms around Speed and returning his advances. The things hate them. The things hate their love so much.

Speed can feel the weight of the bonding signet around his neck. The car falls to its wheels, it paint gleaming in the pale light of dawn. Its engine hums wearily.

[Matt, Loeli, and Gary]
Still hanging around in the window-room, the remaining three crew members decide it's high time to follow the others, and jump through the gateway.

They arrive in a cramped hallway made of clouds. Heading down the hallway, they eventually reach a small clearing surrounded by a tall wall of clouds. Six strange creatures silently kneel before a strange red-black fire at the clearing's center. The creatures do not seem to notice you.

DE?AD on
«13456764

Posts

  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    "let's be very quiet, guys."

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Did we hear what was going on from the others via comm? I mean with these weird creatures.

    japsig.jpg
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    No you did not. There was some sort of comm barrier between the cloud-area and the window-room.

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Loeli crouches, wondering what in the world these spindly fucks are. She pulls her blaster out as a cautionary measure, and tiptoes forward with Matt and Gary.

    japsig.jpg
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Speed helps Ytlkrek into the car before taking the driver's seat. After switching into the appropriate gear he rests his metal hand on hers and floors it the hell out of here.

  • NeoTomaNeoToma Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Pretty nice OP. You should throw Bear's Creeper Kit'Han song on there though. I have no idea where to look for it.

    "It's about time we got to the party. Haven't done anything fun since Kit'Han."

    Tomarli forces his way through the crowd and tries to see what the people are laughing at.

    funkybanner_zps9614e94d.png
  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User
    edited April 2009
    Gary opens one of his six mouths, and sings the song that ends this world.

    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Gary opens one of his six mouths, and sings the song that ends this world.

    you have six mouths? That explains your waistline!

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    How drunk is Gary

    wait how drunk is Bear

    japsig.jpg
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Bear, on a scale of one to starting an alternate account called Drunk Bearstranaut, how drunk are you right now?

  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User
    edited April 2009
    it's three in the afternoon!



    Spoiler:

    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DE?AD wrote: »
    Bear, on a scale of one to starting an alternate account called Drunk Bearstranaut, how drunk are you right now?

    lollin' — this is the best scale.

    japsig.jpg
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    So, which studio are we thinking of pitching this movie to?

  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    C'mon, Bear. The crew needs you. They need their captain.

    [Speed and Ytlkrek]
    Jumping into the car, Speed tears off across the broken asphalt, his hoverpads screeching in protest. The car is fast, but it is not as fast as it was. It will probably never be as fast as it was. It will never win another race. It will never be a champion again. The roar of its engine will fall silent as other cars pass it on the track.

    The car's driver will be disappointed. The car's driver will move on. The car's driver will find another car. A car that was not broken. A car that can still go fast.

    Ytlkrek begins to fade away in her seat. She does not seem to notice.

    [Tomarli]
    Tomarli shoves his way through the crowd, but it is too large, and he cannot make his way through. He looks behind him, but he can only see more legs, a sea of people stretching out forever. Tomarli is lost here, within the push-and-shove of the crowd. He an hear them laughing far above him, but he cannot see what they are laughing at. They do not see him. They do not feel him.

    There are things here with him, moving about the forest of legs. The things hate the crowd, but they hate Tomarli more.

    They hate him so much.

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    bear ain't on aim right now. if he is still afk can we just assume he's following matt and me

    japsig.jpg
  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User
    edited April 2009
    Gary tries to get his bearings

    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    "Ytlkrek? Ytlkrek!" Speed cries out as he sees her starting to fade. He slams the breaks on the car. "What's happening to you?"

  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm so disappointed in your right now, Bear.

    Can you feel it?

    Can you feel my disappointment?

    Gary is in a small, circular clearing at the center of a cloud-cluster. There are six strange creatures kneeling before a red-black fire at the center of the room. Matt and Loeli are also there.

  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    "Captain," Matt whispers, "If you do anything stupid, I will not be happy. The rest of the crew is at risk."

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    <You have made it this far, sir, do not be so presumptuous; he is our captain.> Loeli sends a few tiny skorokov out to collect data on the creatures.

    japsig.jpg
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    [Speed and Ytlkrek]
    "What are you talking about?" Ytlkrek asks as her skin begins to peel away from her face. The car's engine whines.

    [Loeli, Matt, and Gary]
    The creatures do not seem to exist. At least, not as far as the skorokov can tell.

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    "You're fading away and your, your skin is peeling off!"

  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Locth glares at the things in the static and leaves the small metal room.

    f24GSaF.jpg
  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User
    edited April 2009
    Gary stares right at one of the creatures - the shorter one with a bit of a wheeze in his breath.

    "M...margarita party?"

    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    "Slagging Psycho Whale all over again. Gorramit.
    CAPTAIN GARY, YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL"

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    haha look at the Firefly boy go :P
    Did you enjoy it??

    <If they do not exist... they pose no physical threat. This place, though, it was boosting manceric properties. Most unusual!> Loeli muses to nobody in particular, walking forward with Gary.

    japsig.jpg
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    [Gary, Loeli, and Matt]
    The creature turns to Gary, suddenly standing. It opens its mouth and begins to let out a high-pitched scream.

    [Locth]
    Locth steps into the next room. There is no light here, and the metal walls are covered in something dark, sticky, and warm. There is the sound of wings in the distance, and the screams of the dying. They have been dying for years now. They die everyday.

    The sound of wing-beats grows closer.

    The wing-beats hate Locth. If they find him, they will hate him even more. If they find him, Locth will become one of the dying people. He will die every day. His screams will join theirs. If he does that, the wing-beats will stop hating him. The wing-beats do not hate the dying. The wing-beats only hate the survivors.

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    "You're fading away and your, your skin is peeling off!"

  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I fucking loved the pilot. I just wanted to use the word once, else it would get extremely obnoxious. Watching part 2 soon.
    "Loeli, we've fought zombies and an elemental. We've been on a planet with a race of rebellious cat people. We've fought a psychic whale that sucks brains. By now, I'm certain that nothing is able to hurt us, and I mean nothing as something."
    Matt swiftly unsheathes his Psimitar.

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    While we're talking about people that are just now getting into Firefly like me and Matt, I thought Serenity was a pretty good ending to the story, but I was kind of bummed that the western theme was much less strong in it. It felt much more like straight-up traditional sci-fi than the TV show.

  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    [Speed]
    Ytlkrek looks at Speed, worried, hurt. A tear forms at the corner of her eye. Her mouth moves, but the words do not match the movements. "I'm sorry," she says flatly. "The car is broken. It will never be as fast again. I only drove it because it was fast. It is nothing anymore. I hate it."

    Ytlkrek is gone, and Speed is alone.

    There is a fire in the car's engine.

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Wait matt saw Dubh get fucked up. Why would he do that.

    japsig.jpg
  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    You know, I honestly thought Kaylee was going to have bought it in the first ep. She seemed too nice to live.
    I did see Dubh get hurt?

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ah, and with regards to using it once or twice to avoid being obnoxious, you've nailed exactly what I always disliked about firefly. Whenever they curse in Chinese or whatever I feel like "hey that doesn't sound right at all." and it sounds soooo out of place in the dialogue and distracts me from the story.

    japsig.jpg
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Antimatter wrote: »
    You know, I honestly thought Kaylee was going to have bought it in the first ep. She seemed too nice to live.
    I did see Dubh get hurt?

    Locth was the one who pulled his out once they were separated. Dubh tried his back when we first got here and they flipped out.

    japsig.jpg
  • AntimatterAntimatter if you want to talk to me look elsewhere.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ah, and with regards to using it once or twice to avoid being obnoxious, you've nailed exactly what I always disliked about firefly. Whenever they curse in Chinese or whatever I feel like "hey that doesn't sound right at all." and it sounds soooo out of place in the dialogue and distracts me from the story.

    exactly.
    Scarlet, the way DE?AD's describing these things, it sounds like I didn't see Dubh get hurt.
    e: well shit. This adventure's way confusing.

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Speed's heart sinks. "No... no!" In a frenzy, he jumps out of the car and throws the hood open. Doing what he can to put out the fire, he frantically looks the engine over. He'll make it fast again.

  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ignoring its screaming, Loeli continues on to the clearing, looking for the source of the illusion.

    japsig.jpg
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Locth hates the wing-beats right back. They can go fuck themselves.
    He turns on his suit lights.

    f24GSaF.jpg
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Ah, and with regards to using it once or twice to avoid being obnoxious, you've nailed exactly what I always disliked about firefly. Whenever they curse in Chinese or whatever I feel like "hey that doesn't sound right at all." and it sounds soooo out of place in the dialogue and distracts me from the story.

    exactly.
    Scarlet, the way DE?AD's describing these things, it sounds like I didn't see Dubh get hurt.
    e: well shit. This adventure's way confusing.

    I'm talking about the psimitar exploding the fuck all over Dubh, dude. Nothing to do with these creatures.

    and I'm still not sure why they exploded the fuck all over and were like 90 feet long. those Hereclan Crystals are manceric and those power the blades, right? otherwise I'm lost.

    japsig.jpg
«13456764
This discussion has been closed.