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Tie in Mouth Joke

135

Posts

  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    "brown-skinned savages"

    reposig.jpg
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    I figured most people would think Indian from...India. Not Native American.

    That's what I thought but you can never be too sure.

    Ranmasig5.png
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    Yes goddamn it.

    Wait, what is the PC term for the indigenous people of Australia?

    I can tell you the un-pc term.

    Ranmasig5.png
  • WeaverWeaver Hail CascadiaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Look if I'm going make a race-targeted joke I'm not going to use any bullshit pc terms

    ProfessionalandCommander_zps6c326307.jpg
  • JoeUserJoeUser Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    Yes goddamn it.

    Wait, what is the PC term for the indigenous people of Australia?

    I think just aborigines.

    PSN: JoeUser80 Steam
  • WeaverWeaver Hail CascadiaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    red dot or feather

    blackstav.jpg
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer Luckily, I don't need oxygen to survive under water. Unlike you... STUPID! Sunnyvale Trailer ParkRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    So, there are two Russian soldiers riding a bus during the Soviet occupation of Poland. They're patrolling around to make sure people are where they need to be for curfew in an hour. The bus stops and picks up a Polish guy.

    "Oh, hey, Ivan!" he says.
    "Hi, Jozef," one of the soldiers replies.
    "What's up?"
    "Ehh, not much. Just riding on the bus, patrolling... the usual."
    "Ah."

    And the three of them ride on the bus for about 15 minutes, and then Ivan shoots Jozef. Ivan's comrade looks shocked and says, "What the hell? Why'd you shoot him? It's too early for curfew!"

    "Yeah," said Ivan, "But I know where he lives, and he would have never made it home on time."
    ~~~
    This joke as told by the Polish.

    Ohhh, my Julian! My handsome Julian Patrick Swayze!
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Don't forget fuckin' Lapps.

    1LRdqui.png
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
  • Dee KaeDee Kae Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    dudes the demo of Plants VS Zombies is out

    go play it

    it's fun

    preordered on steam for ten bucks, hoyusssssssh.

  • VicVic Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Hey guys I made a joke by translating an untranslatable swedish joke and trying to get it to make sense.

    What has black and white stripes and is used as underwear by mermaids?
    Spoiler:

  • bwaniebwanie Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    You don't call them bra's in sweden.

    Do you?

  • VicVic Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    In Sweden "Se bra" means "see good".

    I think you can figure out the rest of the joke.

    Edit: What is large, hairy and cares about the environment?

  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Sweden needs to buck its ideas up.

  • RialeRiale Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Vic wrote: »
    In Sweden "Se bra" means "see good".

    I think you can figure out the rest of the joke.

    Edit: What is large, hairy and cares about the environment?

    al gore

    33c9nxz.gif
    Steam | XBL: Elazual | Last.fm
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I only use native american

    never indian

    "American Indian" is the closest thing to accurate blanket term there is. Native American is misleading, since no American is native. Even the Indians came across on the Bering Strait. Ideally, you refer to Indians by their specific tribe. If you can't, or if you need to talk about a whole bunch of 'em American Indian is preferred.

    There was a whole discussion of the matter at an Indian conference about a decade back, with leaders past and present from a bunch of major tribes, anthropolgists, Indian authors - a cool variety of people. I was mainly there to see my aunt and Wilma Mankiller, but it was all really fascinating. Anyway, one of the dudes said (and I paraphrase) "Hey, we should just consider ourselves lucky that Columbus didn't think he'd found the Virgin Islands." We all had a good laugh.

    Also, I thought this thread was gonna be about the singer from INXS.

  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Dee Kae wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    dudes the demo of Plants VS Zombies is out

    go play it

    it's fun

    preordered on steam for ten bucks, hoyusssssssh.
    came with a free game, too!

    some wonky tank shooting thing

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
    Secret Satan Wishlists: Regular List Coffee Stuff
    FUNTENDO DS BROCODE: 2337-4364-1683
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited May 2009

    Also, I thought this thread was gonna be about the singer from INXS.
    I believe he used a plastic bag

    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    BusterK wrote: »

    Also, I thought this thread was gonna be about the singer from INXS.
    I believe he used a plastic bag

    Perhaps he just choked on all his raw talent.

  • seizureorbsseizureorbs Registered User
    edited May 2009
    I only use native american

    never indian

    "American Indian" is the closest thing to accurate blanket term there is. Native American is misleading, since no American is native. Even the Indians came across on the Bering Strait. Ideally, you refer to Indians by their specific tribe. If you can't, or if you need to talk about a whole bunch of 'em American Indian is preferred.

    There was a whole discussion of the matter at an Indian conference about a decade back, with leaders past and present from a bunch of major tribes, anthropolgists, Indian authors - a cool variety of people. I was mainly there to see my aunt and Wilma Mankiller, but it was all really fascinating. Anyway, one of the dudes said (and I paraphrase) "Hey, we should just consider ourselves lucky that Columbus didn't think he'd found the Virgin Islands." We all had a good laugh.

    Also, I thought this thread was gonna be about the singer from INXS.

    my main concern is making it clear whether I'm talking about people from india or the americas

    eyes.gif
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    look all i know is bitches is bitches

    pmdunk.jpg
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I only use native american

    never indian

    "American Indian" is the closest thing to accurate blanket term there is. Native American is misleading, since no American is native. Even the Indians came across on the Bering Strait. Ideally, you refer to Indians by their specific tribe. If you can't, or if you need to talk about a whole bunch of 'em American Indian is preferred.

    There was a whole discussion of the matter at an Indian conference about a decade back, with leaders past and present from a bunch of major tribes, anthropolgists, Indian authors - a cool variety of people. I was mainly there to see my aunt and Wilma Mankiller, but it was all really fascinating. Anyway, one of the dudes said (and I paraphrase) "Hey, we should just consider ourselves lucky that Columbus didn't think he'd found the Virgin Islands." We all had a good laugh.

    Also, I thought this thread was gonna be about the singer from INXS.

    my main concern is making it clear whether I'm talking about people from india or the americas

    If people can't tell from context, they're stupid and you probably shouldn't be talking to them anyway. Also Indian-Americans, African-Americans, Chinese-Americans - there's a pretty standard nomenclature there, and American Indian is clearly different.

    Sorry, I know I'm being pedantic. I get kinda riled about Indian stuff.

  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Billy-Bob McGraw strolls into town at just before noon. The main street is deserted. He climbs down off his horse, holsters his revolver and walks into the saloon. No-one is there except a barman. He orders a whiskey.
    "Where is everybody?" he asks.
    The barman explains that they're all down at the courthouse for a hangin'.
    "Who's getting the drop?" he ventures further.
    "Brown Paper Pete"
    "Who's he?"
    "Some outlaw. His boots are made of brown paper. His chaps of brown paper. His hat is made o' brown paper, even his stinkin' shirt is brown paper through n' through."
    "What's he bin' tried for then?"
    "Rustlin'"

    scarab you have mental problems
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Billy-Bob McGraw strolls into town at just before noon. The main street is deserted. He climbs down off his horse, holsters his revolver and walks into the saloon. No-one is there except a barman. He orders a whiskey.
    "Where is everybody?" he asks.
    The barman explains that they're all down at the courthouse for a hangin'.
    "Who's getting the drop?" he ventures further.
    "Brown Paper Pete"
    "Who's he?"
    "Some outlaw. His boots are made of brown paper. His chaps of brown paper. His hat is made o' brown paper, even his stinkin' shirt is brown paper through n' through."
    "What's he bin' tried for then?"
    "Rustlin'"

    Hahahahahaha, telling this almost immediately

  • TasteticleTasteticle Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I'm actually gunna answer the question in the OP because I was obsessed with this movie when I was a little kid.

    The movie is 'The Mask' and he does it when Cameron Diaz tries to set up a bank account with him near the beginning, because she complimented his tie.

    My life is sad.


    Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Tasteticle wrote: »
    I'm actually gunna answer the question in the OP because I was obsessed with this movie when I was a little kid.

    The movie is 'The Mask' and he does it when Cameron Diaz tries to set up a bank account with him near the beginning, because she complimented his tie.

    My life is sad.
    doubly so since it was already answered top of page 3

    nipplessig.jpg
  • EvanderEvander Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    kid_zombie wrote: »
    I was at a wedding this past weekend, and I attempted to make the table i was at laugh by making my tie look like it was coming out of my mouth.

    quit plugging your stuff

    no free ads

    georgersig.jpg
  • VivixenneVivixenne aDAWRable! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I only use native american

    never indian

    "American Indian" is the closest thing to accurate blanket term there is. Native American is misleading, since no American is native. Even the Indians came across on the Bering Strait. Ideally, you refer to Indians by their specific tribe. If you can't, or if you need to talk about a whole bunch of 'em American Indian is preferred.

    There was a whole discussion of the matter at an Indian conference about a decade back, with leaders past and present from a bunch of major tribes, anthropolgists, Indian authors - a cool variety of people. I was mainly there to see my aunt and Wilma Mankiller, but it was all really fascinating. Anyway, one of the dudes said (and I paraphrase) "Hey, we should just consider ourselves lucky that Columbus didn't think he'd found the Virgin Islands." We all had a good laugh.

    Also, I thought this thread was gonna be about the singer from INXS.

    my main concern is making it clear whether I'm talking about people from india or the americas
    dots and feathers

    I think that as far as what's accurate is concerned, Native American is no more accurate than African American, and so both are just used as to refer to Indians and Blacks without much thought to their accuracy

    Asiatic Indians versus American Indians are the terms usually heard, but even American Indian is misleading because then what do you call an Asiatic Indian who is American? because let's face it, even though "Asian American" is technically correct, when you think "Asian American" you don't think of Indians right away

    so you know

    there's that

    (also to clarify I call African American inaccurate because not all Africans are black, I know two African-born Americans who are white so in their case "African American" is closer to the truth than Caucasian, being that their families has been there for aaaaages)

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I would also like to know why Asian people born in America don't insist on being called Asian American.

  • Punsie McKalePunsie McKale Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    I would also like to know why Asian people born in America don't insist on being called Asian American.

    I've always figured it's because African-American refers to a specific group of people, that is to say, those descended from slaves from Africa--whereas Africans are people from Africa more recently. With Asians there is no need for such distinction

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    A group of nuns are renovating an old church. It's a terribly hot day and their garb is sweltering. The Mother Superior goes off for a moment and thinks hard, consults her years of experience and decides that in lieu of the baking heat and their hot, sweaty work they should undress. Completely.
    As a precaution they bolt the church doors.
    After a while they start to cool down, working naked has certainly not helped their esteem but it has gotten the church fixed up in no time. There is a knock on the door.
    They look around at each other, clothes piled in a corner and panic. The Mother Superior calls for calm and goes to answer it.
    "Yes, hello? Who is there please?"
    "It is I. The blind man"

    She goes back to the group, huddled in the corner now patently aware of their exposed shame.
    "Who is it Mother Superior?"
    "It is the blind man. Perhaps he has come for forgiveness but has not seen the church is in ruin."
    "Clothes or no clothes, it is our duty to aid him in his holy rites."

    The Mother Superior goes back to the door.
    "Blind man?"
    "Yes?"
    "You can come in, just give me a moment to unbolt the door"

    She unlocks the door and the rest of the naked nuns go back to their arduous work.
    The door opens and a man walks in holding a large rolled up bag under one arm.
    "Hey nice tits sister. Now, where are your windows? Got something here that will keep this sun off ya' back"

    scarab you have mental problems
  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User
    edited May 2009
    I just call them (the people in the US who live on reservations) Native Indians

    see, it's funny because it doesn't make sense

  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    I would also like to know why Asian people born in America don't insist on being called Asian American.

    Because African-American is a term that exists because we're bad at coming up with good blanket terms

    See also: Indians (Native Americans, American Indians, First Nations Peoples)

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Punsie McKalePunsie McKale Registered User
    edited May 2009
    no AMP'd I just explained silly

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited May 2009
    My best friend is a black African (from Togo) that immigrated to America.

    But none of that matters because they speak French in Togo so he is the butt of my many, many French jokes.

  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    no AMP'd I just explained silly

    Oh duh

    Also, Arab-Americans are a weird group

    A group that includes Steve Jobs and Ralph Nader

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    "American Indian" is the closest thing to accurate blanket term there is. Native American is misleading, since no American is native. Even the Indians came across on the Bering Strait. Ideally, you refer to Indians by their specific tribe. If you can't, or if you need to talk about a whole bunch of 'em American Indian is preferred.

    Isn't that kind of poor reasoning? Every people came from somewhere else, if you go back far enough (up to a point).

    Not disagreeing with you, since you know more about this than I do, I'm just saying.

    f24GSaF.jpg
  • VivixenneVivixenne aDAWRable! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    I would also like to know why Asian people born in America don't insist on being called Asian American.

    I've always figured it's because African-American refers to a specific group of people, that is to say, those descended from slaves from Africa--whereas Africans are people from Africa more recently. With Asians there is no need for such distinction

    Asians in America are from Asia pretty recently, too

    plenty of families are only third-gen or second-gen

    for instance my cousins were born in Texas even though their parents grew up in Asia, and they certainly don't insist that they be called Asian Americans

    like, I see what you're saying, in that African Americans refer ONLY to those who descended from slaves in Africa, but it just strikes me as a blanket term for everyone who's black in the US

    even people who weren't born in Africa but happen to be black and American are called African American... a friend of a friend is one such individual, and when he fills in those forms people always tell him he checked the wrong box

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