[Deadliest Brorrior]Broldiers vs Brommandos

TheFullMetalChicken

If they called the show deadliest weapons and not bring out these two groups of guys to wave dicks at each other for 30 minutes the show would be a lot more informative and we could see more gel torso destruction.

Having these two different warriors fight, I'm cool with that, but if your not going to have guys fight it out in front of me. Then I want to know your taking tactics and combat style into account. And have the scenarios the same have these two people square off

Spartan this is ninja
Ninja this is Spartan now go back to your marks 100 yard apart and begin.

Right now I don't think either of these things is happening I'm pretty sure the program has like is said before a D&D style system running through each warriors set of weapons

200 ninjas with bows vs 200 Spartan with spears 50 yards apart. Ready, Aim, Fire! And count the survivors.

Scientific yes, real combat science no.

Still the show has had it's moments

Spoiler:

pirate shooting a knight in the face

Spoiler:

and last night watching a guy get punched a lot, that won me over cause I didn't see the green beret offer up his ass for a wup'n

Gaddez

Kagera wrote: »

They need to do a superhero version of this show.

C'mon Spike, I know you wanna.

Some joker actually edited wikipedia a while back so that the episode list had king kong versus godzilla.

Premier kakos

They need to do Space Marines vs. Caveman.

Tyler the Great

This show infuriates me like nothing else yet I continue to watch it. It always tickles me when a group like the apaches go on and on about how they were the greatest warriors of the time, completely ignoring the fact that they got rolled up by whitey.

joshua1

Deathstar vs. Endor

voodoospork

Kagera wrote: »

Doc wrote: »

Premier kakos wrote: »

Doc wrote: »

Premier kakos wrote: »

Doc wrote: »

Uh, wouldn't spetznaz vs green beret come down to who saw the other first?

Four words: back flipping hatchet attack.

Crazy stuff like that is a sign of boredom and stagnation in the ranks.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

I mean, it's a totally sweet move no doubt, it just is indicative of some problems with the people managing them.

No, we know. You've said this before.

You don't need to keep qualifying that picture as if people are honestly judging other special forces lacking because of it.

I have to say, it sounds like an excuse anyway. Spetznaz did win the contest, and I think it would be more than a little naive to believe that the ability to kill a man with a hatchet while back flipping through the air was completely irrelevant to this victory. Are these other "special" forces even trying?

Gosling

Seriously, they had a golden opportunity to match the pirate against the ninja and they wasted it. That should have been the very first pairing they made.

As for the scientific value... it's Spike. You're not going to get scientific value out of Spike. You're going to get 'HOLY SHIT HE ASPLODED THE HEAD THAT WAS AWESOME'. Which is all I really asked for in the first place, so there you go.

For a future matchup, I'd like to just go whole hog with the apples/oranges thing. Take the most ancient warrior class possible and put it up against a Marine.

BubbaT

Gosling wrote: »

Seriously, they had a golden opportunity to match the pirate against the ninja and they wasted it. That should have been the very first pairing they made.

As for the scientific value... it's Spike. You're not going to get scientific value out of Spike. You're going to get 'HOLY SHIT HE ASPLODED THE HEAD THAT WAS AWESOME'. Which is all I really asked for in the first place, so there you go.

For a future matchup, I'd like to just go whole hog with the apples/oranges thing. Take the most ancient warrior class possible and put it up against a Marine.

If I remember my Civ II correctly, a spearman can destroy a fighter jet as long as the spearman is in a walled city.

Gosling

But without a ballistic-gel model of a fighter jet, how will we know?

GogoKodo

Where will they get the Taliban fanboys for the Taliban vs IRA episode?
Or the IRA fanboys for that matter.

Tyler the Great

Guantanamo, of course

Khavall

BubbaT wrote: »

Gosling wrote: »

Seriously, they had a golden opportunity to match the pirate against the ninja and they wasted it. That should have been the very first pairing they made.

As for the scientific value... it's Spike. You're not going to get scientific value out of Spike. You're going to get 'HOLY SHIT HE ASPLODED THE HEAD THAT WAS AWESOME'. Which is all I really asked for in the first place, so there you go.

For a future matchup, I'd like to just go whole hog with the apples/oranges thing. Take the most ancient warrior class possible and put it up against a Marine.

If I remember my Civ II correctly, a spearman can destroy a fighter jet as long as the spearman is in a walled city.

Someday I hope to figure out how they never solve this problem in different civ releases. Even in IV 2 bowmen can totally take out Marines. Like, ok, a billion Ewoks can destroy one Death Star, but even with a 2:1 ratio I think the guys with the Assault rifles will beat the dudes with the bows.

Doc

GogoKodo wrote: »

Where will they get the Taliban fanboys for the Taliban vs IRA episode?
Or the IRA fanboys for that matter.

A former IRA leader is now deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. It's not like they are all in hiding at this point.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_McGuinness

And I don't know how hard it would be to find someone who was in Afghanistan when they were fighting off the Russians. Probably not very hard, though how willing they would be to go on the show is a different matter.

BubbaT

B:L wrote: »

Reznik wrote: »

This show's really starting to annoy me. They completely disregard tactics when they set up these matches. With them it's all brute strength, no strategy.

And they don't even consider things like armor limiting movement, or helmets limiting hearing and sight. It's just all 'wow, you really mangled our ballistic dummy/pig carcass! you win!'

It's like a show trying to see which car is the best.

That would be Weaponizers on Discovery, where they strap armor and machine guns and harpoon launchers onto old jalopies and set them loose on each other Twisted Metal-style.

Tasteicle

I just hate that they always include one side with a bow, and only one side gets it, then the winner is always the guy with the bow.

Psychotic One

As far as them not doing the tests. If you watch the random clips they show after coming back from break you can see them doing other things that are not shown in the course of the show. They have to trim it all down to fit the time slot. Looks like to me they do Tests for all three "experts" and compile the data into their high tech spreadsheet *snicker*

I wonder if their web site has clips of all the testing.

Cervetus

GogoKodo wrote: »

Where will they get the Taliban fanboys for the Taliban vs IRA episode?

Democrats.

GogoKodo wrote: »

Or the IRA fanboys for that matter.

The British equivalent of Democrats.

Trus

Tyler the Great wrote: »

This show infuriates me like nothing else yet I continue to watch it

I've now watched three episodes and after every one of them I swear I will never watch another one because what I just saw was monumentally stupid, yet I still have an urge to watch another episode.

Tyler the Great

The last one I just dvr'd it and then fast forwarded to the end to see who won and called it a day.

Doc

Cervetus wrote: »

GogoKodo wrote: »

Where will they get the Taliban fanboys for the Taliban vs IRA episode?

Democrats.

GogoKodo wrote: »

Or the IRA fanboys for that matter.

The British equivalent of Democrats.

Heyooo

try the veal

RubberAC

Why is nobody commenting on the hilarious flip the ninja did in his video
The spartan is chasing him along this non-descript wooded path
ninja comes face to face with a 1/2 foot tall root sticking out of the ground
motherfucker front flips over that shit
Edit: ok it's a log
still http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw5g2npuADw
it's at 1:20

Doc

Uh, they can't control what results the computer spit out. If it says he did a flip, he did a flip.

CangoFett

If the spartan believes he is going after a stealthy assassin, why is he walking through waist high grass ?

Khavall

I also like how the "GLASS SHARDS IN MY EYE" lasts for like 2 seconds and he doesn't take his helmet off or anything, just shakes his head a little.

Trus

Not to mention that while the guy is totally incapacitated the ninja RUNS AWAY!

Premier kakos

I wonder if they inputted the variable that ninjas as presented in that clip are complete myths.

InHuman

Their website sucks.

I'm still waiting for the Spetnaz eppy to get up on either megavideo, youtube, or one of the MMA sites.

Doc

Premier kakos wrote: »

I wonder if they inputted the variable that ninjas as presented in that clip are complete myths.

maybe you forgot

computer simulation

CangoFett

I GOT IT


The Deadliest Warrior Computer Simulation

vs

The Fight Science Computer Simulation


Doc, who gets the edge for, "Total bullshit" ?

Tasteicle

Did you account for jesus rays

override367

Khavall wrote: »

BubbaT wrote: »

Gosling wrote: »

Seriously, they had a golden opportunity to match the pirate against the ninja and they wasted it. That should have been the very first pairing they made.

As for the scientific value... it's Spike. You're not going to get scientific value out of Spike. You're going to get 'HOLY SHIT HE ASPLODED THE HEAD THAT WAS AWESOME'. Which is all I really asked for in the first place, so there you go.

For a future matchup, I'd like to just go whole hog with the apples/oranges thing. Take the most ancient warrior class possible and put it up against a Marine.

If I remember my Civ II correctly, a spearman can destroy a fighter jet as long as the spearman is in a walled city.

Someday I hope to figure out how they never solve this problem in different civ releases. Even in IV 2 bowmen can totally take out Marines. Like, ok, a billion Ewoks can destroy one Death Star, but even with a 2:1 ratio I think the guys with the Assault rifles will beat the dudes with the bows.

Rambo disagrees

Spoiler:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEhllmopdMY

So when are they going to do Alien vs Predator, Red Shirt vs Stormtrooper, and Cylon vs Terminator

Badsalt

Okay, so I'm not sure exactly which show is which, but the one I saw had a Pirate fighting a Knight, and a Viking fighting a Samurai. And they completely ignored just about everything relevant to the fight. Like, why the Hell is a pirate fighting a freaking Knight? I suppose it's interesting, but I agree with *someone* when they said "fuck the fanboys on each side."

override367

Id like to see apache tribe vs assorted macedonian spearmen and peltists


And they're all wearing space suits and fighting on a comet just minutes before it impacts the moon

Gosling

Badsalt wrote: »

Okay, so I'm not sure exactly which show is which, but the one I saw had a Pirate fighting a Knight, and a Viking fighting a Samurai. And they completely ignored just about everything relevant to the fight. Like, why the Hell is a pirate fighting a freaking Knight? I suppose it's interesting, but I agree with *someone* when they said "fuck the fanboys on each side."

They used the time machine to go all over the world where the strong people are.

Zombiemambo

it's a show for entertainment

Doc

override367 wrote: »

Id like to see apache tribe vs assorted macedonian spearmen and peltists


And they're all wearing space suits and fighting on a comet just minutes before it impacts the moon

And they are motorcycles circling them, popping wheelies.

Gaddez

Honetly, I watch the show more for the entertainment of seeing the ballistic dumies getting massacred with ancient weapons.

After a certain point though, the whole "JOO R TEH SUXX! MY GUY IS TEH 1337 PEW PEW!" becomes ammusing in an uwe boll "What stupid shit am I gonna see next?" sort of way.

Further, theres the sort of weapons each side tries to pass off as being standardized go to weapons that side.

This isn't a complete list, just the ones that come immediatley to mind:

1. The samurai's kanabo: It's a big heavy club that saw almost no use on the battlefield due to the fact that the inertia made quick recoveries after attacks impossible. pretty much it was limited to breaking the legs of horses.
2. The viking spear: Seriously? a double throw? Sounds like somthing a jock came up with while drunk, since theres no way you could throw two spears with any signifigant accuracy.
3. The ninja kusari gama: I was amazed at how they didn't pay any attention to how ~as a fucking chain weapon~ how it could be used to entangle a weapon or trip some ass munch.
4. The grenades from the commando episode: Why the fuck did they perform to radicly different tests on similair weapons and then try and judge based on slow motion video the lethality of it?
5. The Pirates blunder buss: the thing only had 1 out of 3 successful shots, and for some reason they didn't bother to include this into the computer?
6. The Green berets entrenching tool: Seriously. you didn't choose a combat knife or some sort of hand to hand combat training. You had a tiny shovel that your dudes carry. Why not just show the lethality of a brick or a broken bottle?

GungHo

Gaddez wrote: »

The Green berets entrenching tool: Seriously. you didn't choose a combat knife or some sort of hand to hand combat training. You had a tiny shovel that your dudes carry. Why not just show the lethality of a brick or a broken bottle?

They had a number of weapons on the table, including a KA-BAR and VTAC. I think the e-tool was just one thing they used during their tests and they decided it was weird enough to merit inclusion in the "short range weapon" category.

In the other thread, I asked why they didn't demonstrate a cutlass vs. plate in the pirate vs. knight show, and I think it's possible they did, they just didn't put the segment in and rather wanted to show them hitting a pig because that elicited better reactions.

Rhan9

I just watched the Apache vs. Gladiator out of curiosity. I like looking at the weapons, and all, but is it normal to want to throttle everyone who opens their mouth in this show?

Trus

Rhan9 wrote: »

I just watched the Apache vs. Gladiator out of curiosity. I like looking at the weapons, and all, but is it normal to want to throttle everyone who opens their mouth in this show?

Yes, I have started muting the sound whenever one of the fanboys starts talking. The Ninja and Apache episodes were the worst for this.