As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options
Mother accused of child abuse.
Arkan
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Backstory: My mother teaches preschool locally. Up until recently she mostly did special needs children; recently the school made cutbacks and also had her cover the regular program.
Recently, one of the parents of one of the kids in her program accused her of abusing the parent in question's child. For evidence, she provides some bruises (And what kid at that age isn't a bruised mess- c'mon, I was a scrawny little nerd and I still constantly scraped my knees and tripped over everything), a theory about what happened, and the evidence of one other person. This has gotten her incredibly worked up; she's having panic attacks, is on the phone practically all the time talking to a friend or her lawyer, and is terrified this will go to court and she'll be found guilty and wind up in jail. She's already been suspended ("for her own protection") and the police have gotten involved, primarily just to investigate and talk to some people.
Now I know this is bullshit; she's probably the single most timid person I know and parents tend to be overprotective of their children. Before I talk to her about this and try to stop her from stressing herself to death, I want to get some things straight.
Evidence. As I understand it everything against her is circumstantial: there is the account of two adults, neither of whom were present at the time of the supposed abuse. On the other hand, in her favor are the aides who were in her classrom at the time plus however many teachers and god knows how many children who were also in the hallway/adjoining classrooms at the time (said abuse supposedly took place in a hallway with the child screaming the whole time - and no one heard this?). And while school in question is fairly old, it's been renovated lately and may have security cameras. So all of that evidence against almost nothing on the other hand. Plus her record- she's taught there for about 5 years now with a perfect record by all accounts. I don't know about you, but when she's bringing home gifts weekly from parents/kids I don't think there's any abuse going on there.
Now as I understand it, the burden to provide evidence is on the prosecution ("innocent until proven guilty"). I can't imagine that kind of flimsy evidence would work at all in court. Reasonable doubt and all that- there's barely any evidence that she did something wrong and all the proof in the world that she did nothing out of order. (I have seen 12 angry men, y'know.)
So unless the jury is completely out of their minds, I can't imagine this would get anywhere near a guilty verdict in court.
Am I on the right track here? I really want to talk to her about this but at the same time I don't want to be talking out of my ass when I do so; the last thing I want to do is give her the wrong idea so she gets even more worked up the next time she speaks to her lawyer.
Recently, one of the parents of one of the kids in her program accused her of abusing the parent in question's child. For evidence, she provides some bruises (And what kid at that age isn't a bruised mess- c'mon, I was a scrawny little nerd and I still constantly scraped my knees and tripped over everything), a theory about what happened, and the evidence of one other person. This has gotten her incredibly worked up; she's having panic attacks, is on the phone practically all the time talking to a friend or her lawyer, and is terrified this will go to court and she'll be found guilty and wind up in jail. She's already been suspended ("for her own protection") and the police have gotten involved, primarily just to investigate and talk to some people.
Now I know this is bullshit; she's probably the single most timid person I know and parents tend to be overprotective of their children. Before I talk to her about this and try to stop her from stressing herself to death, I want to get some things straight.
Evidence. As I understand it everything against her is circumstantial: there is the account of two adults, neither of whom were present at the time of the supposed abuse. On the other hand, in her favor are the aides who were in her classrom at the time plus however many teachers and god knows how many children who were also in the hallway/adjoining classrooms at the time (said abuse supposedly took place in a hallway with the child screaming the whole time - and no one heard this?). And while school in question is fairly old, it's been renovated lately and may have security cameras. So all of that evidence against almost nothing on the other hand. Plus her record- she's taught there for about 5 years now with a perfect record by all accounts. I don't know about you, but when she's bringing home gifts weekly from parents/kids I don't think there's any abuse going on there.
Now as I understand it, the burden to provide evidence is on the prosecution ("innocent until proven guilty"). I can't imagine that kind of flimsy evidence would work at all in court. Reasonable doubt and all that- there's barely any evidence that she did something wrong and all the proof in the world that she did nothing out of order. (I have seen 12 angry men, y'know.)
My thinking is this (and this is all theory, mind): Parents in question have met her several times. Mother is incredibly timid; they've probably noticed. And this is right at the end of the school year. So they're trying this not to open a court case but intimidate her/the school into settling out of court so they get a big fat check in the mail. I doubt any sane person would think they had a chance in court given the above; of course, there's also the possibility we're talking about absurdly overprotective parents and they haven't thought that far ahead.
So unless the jury is completely out of their minds, I can't imagine this would get anywhere near a guilty verdict in court.
Am I on the right track here? I really want to talk to her about this but at the same time I don't want to be talking out of my ass when I do so; the last thing I want to do is give her the wrong idea so she gets even more worked up the next time she speaks to her lawyer.
Big, honkin' pile of WoW characters
Blackbeard7 wrote: »I think it's hard for someone not to rage at mario kart, while shouting "Fuck you Donkey Kong. Whose dick did you suck to get all those red shells?"
Arkan on
0
Posts
Not much you can do but support her and keep in mind that there's no reason she'll go to jail.
EDIT: Kindly remind her that it is almost impossible to prove innocence. Thus, our justice system has the binary results guilty and not guilty, rather than guilty and innocent or innocent and not innocent.
In court yes, but in the publics eye she might already be seen as guilty. (I dont know if there is media attention or anything but society is always quick to lay blame)
Hence countersuing for $microsoft, citing reputation and thus employment damages, as well as extreme emotional duress.
The best thing you can do is just offer your mom general support. Tell her that you know she didn't do it, that she must trust the lawyer to do everything he can to fight the charges, and that everything will be fine. Also remind her that she will be most helpful to her lawyer--and, by extension, herself--if she answers any questions she is asked as completely and truthfully as possible, even if they're difficult to answer, or seem to be hostile.
And absolutely consider bringing a malicious prosecution action against the parents.
Except, proving that someone brought a suit in bad faith is pretty damn hard to do.
Limed for truthfulness.
OP, did they actually charge your mom with any crimes, or is it just a police investigation at this time? Because if she hasn't been charged with any crimes, then you don't need to worry about concepts like bruden of proof and the Rules of Evidence.
Yep. This is why there are lawyers. So you don't have to go to random tards on the Internet for legal advice.
In the meantime, she should use the time off to do something relaxing. Start hitting up the gym or something like that. Instead of doing nothing but sitting around the house worrying about it, she should do things to keep her mind off of it, since there's nothing she can do at this point but let her lawyer work, and brood.
This. The OP's mom would have to prove that they knew she didn't hurt their child and short of them admitting this that will be near impossible.
What I'm getting at is (and this goes for every job), if the school starts pressuring your mother, make sure she holds her ground. If they want to force her out of the position, she needs to make sure that it is clear that they must fire her to get rid of her.
1. Lawyer up. Serious allegations should never be taken lightly even if they have no basis in fact.
(2.) If unionized, get in contact with union reps (who can often be lawyers) to provide counsel. If she's non-unionized, then she should defer to her lawyer's judgment.
And most importantly:
3. Relax; your mother knows that she's not guilty. As Thanatos said, have her use the time off to do something relaxing. Start hitting up the gym or something like that. Instead of doing nothing and sitting around the house worrying about it, she should do things to keep her mind off of it, since there's nothing she can do at this point but let her lawyer work, and brood.
My mother is vice-president (and soon to be president) of her local school union and has dealt with many similar situations. Be patient; stuff like this takes awhile to resolve.
Let the lawyer do the work and worry about the case.. you are paying him to do that.
This is the only other really great advice in the thread beyond "listen to your lawyer". And if one were to run that scenario past their lawyer, I strongly suspect that the lawyer would insist that they do nothing in response to the school's pressure.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH