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If Aliens ever land...

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Posts

  • InterjectionInterjection Registered User
    edited June 2009
    if aliens ever come here i will proceed to buy all the guns EVER MADE and hide in bunker below sea level.

    ever since i was little aliens have scared the SHIT out of me, expecially the 'greys' and abduction shit.
    this also didn't help
    how is this for kids?

    it gets weird around 2:40
    Are You Afraid of the Dark?!

    I knew I had seen that somewhere before. I just forgot what show it was from, and thought it might have been some other similar program.

    I really liked that show...but some of it really scared the crap out of me...like the one where the kids comic book characters came to life and killed people...I just remember a freaky clown...it's now why I am afraid of clowns.

    ON THE TOPIC: I really find it funny that we always assume aliens if they come peacefully will come bringing science. I think a better question would be what would humans do if aliens came (with advanced technology obviously) but they also came with a MESSAGE (dun dun duuuuuuun!). Basically what if we got evangelical aliens.

    aka kcMasterpiece
  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I never thought of that, but it's pretty genius. Alien missionaries bringing the peace of Xenu to the Earthling savages.

    Either that, or they'd come representing exploitative intergalactic corporate interests.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • Silas BrownSilas Brown Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    CmgpQ.jpg
  • HonkHonk Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    You're destined to live a life in perfectly clean pants.

  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Honk wrote: »
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    You're destined to live a life in perfectly clean pants.

    Xenu wills it.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • CantidoCantido Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Honk wrote: »
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    You're destined to live a life in perfectly clean pants.

    Xenu wills it.

    Xenu just wants The Marker back.

    Asshole space miners stole it.

    steam_sig.png
  • KoolaidguyKoolaidguy Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Cantido wrote: »
    Honk wrote: »
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    You're destined to live a life in perfectly clean pants.

    Xenu wills it.

    Xenu just wants The Marker back.

    Asshole space miners stole it.

    if we give it to him he'll dump us in volcanos.

  • HonkHonk Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Koolaidguy wrote: »
    Cantido wrote: »
    Honk wrote: »
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    You're destined to live a life in perfectly clean pants.

    Xenu wills it.

    Xenu just wants The Marker back.

    Asshole space miners stole it.

    if we give it to him he'll dump us in volcanos.

    I laughed :D

  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Honk wrote: »
    Koolaidguy wrote: »
    Cantido wrote: »
    Honk wrote: »
    Man, I'd shit my pants if it turned out Xenu was real.

    You're destined to live a life in perfectly clean pants.

    Xenu wills it.

    Xenu just wants The Marker back.

    Asshole space miners stole it.

    if we give it to him he'll dump us in volcanos.

    I laughed :D

    One good version of God I've read was in Bright of the Sky, where the god isn't nice. They say "God ignoring" as a statement of best case scenario, priests are considered to be decoys and therefor avoided, and prayers are essentially screaming IGNORE ME!

    I guess their god is basically Bender.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »

    I guess their god is basically God.

    ever read the old testament?

    sig_zpsf0994cbd.jpg
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »

    I guess their god is basically God.

    ever read the old testament?

    A lot of it. He'd fuck you up if you ever put a toe out of line, but you'd do very well if you followed the rules. Really, the bad rep that the old testament gets is because the new testament said you could do whatever you want as long as you believed in Jesus,and even then waited until you died.

    This god, on the other hand, seems to spread destruction just by looking at you.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • Rincewind420Rincewind420 Registered User
    edited June 2009
    We know ants and bee's live in hives, but we aint got no desire to visit em, and the bee's and ants dont even acknowledge our existance (possibly being unable to).

    Could be a similar thing with aliens, they know where here, they understand we fight alot and like the boobies, but they got there own shit to deal with ya know?

  • the Togfatherthe Togfather Registered User
    edited June 2009
    We know ants and bee's live in hives, but we aint got no desire to visit em, and the bee's and ants dont even acknowledge our existance (possibly being unable to).

    Could be a similar thing with aliens, they know where here, they understand we fight alot and like the boobies, but they got there own shit to deal with ya know?

    I'm picturing a lecture class far away on some alien planet where the professor is up front showing holographic images of human boobs while dissecting our utter fascinating with them, meanwhile the punk the back row can't stop staring at the head cheerleader's rear antennae lobe.

    The night is dark and full of terrors.
    twit feed
  • DmanDman Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    sadly we don't often know when an asteroid is coming. When we do notice one it's usually at the point where it's almost hit us.

    edit: oopsy daisy.

    We know where asteroids are that wont be coming near us for millions of years :P

    1 AU = earth->sun distance = 8 minutes at light speed
    If aliens travel at a speedy 0.1c then 1AU will take them 80 minutes.
    Pluto is 39 AU out (say 40AU), 40 AU x 80min/AU = 3200 minutes = 2.2 days

    So given these assumptions we'd be lucky to have 2 days warning that aliens are arriving. Realistically we wouldn't see shit out by Pluto and if they aren't transmitting in our direction before they get here we'd be lucky to have more then a couple hours warning.

    Just because there are a few large comets and asteroids and we see them at large distances doesn't mean we would see any large object coming from a large distance. If we could detect any incoming large object at a distance than we should already have a catalog of every large object in the solar system....we don't.

    So back on topic:
    Aliens visiting may well be generally altruistic, their ulterior motive would be that they want to study us and our planet, maybe go on vacation here or have a few colonies on earth. Their general motive would be "hey were not alone lets make new friends!"

    I imagine they would share all kinds of technology, theories, and of course their morals/religion/philosophy. But I could see them being hesitant to share whatever technology lets them zoom through space, which could create some animosity.

    Humans would be humans and fanatics would try to religiously convert/have sex with/worship/kill etc the aliens. The aliens would be "spammed" with radio signals which they would just send back to the home planet for analysis and entertainment value. The government would be unable to cover up the arrival of the aliens unless that was part of the aliens plan (arrive stealthily) which I find unlikely.

    We will have some governments respond rationally and logically to the aliens and these governments are the ones the aliens will respond and interact with first.

    They will try to teach us theory, but given the dire condition humans live in (by their standards) and our relative lesser intelligence, the time it would take use to learn how to create their level of technology would be too long. They don't want to wait while we kill each other and starve to death, it's against their philosophy.

    So it won't really matter who they interact with first though because the aliens aren't there to pit us against one another, so they will send a few nanites or droids to each area of earth to build droid factories and power plants and those droids will build the rest of the advanced technological stuff for us to enjoy.

    Of course some people (and governments) might consider this an invasion and try to prevent it, but the aliens will easily disarm any aggressors and circumvent any illogical attempts to stop them.

    Most people would be quite happy for a while by our sudden rapid increase in quality of life and longevity from the alien technologies, but this would fade eventually and we would be just as dissatisfied and unhappy as a people as we are now.

    The aliens would know from the start of course that fixing technological problems would not suddenly make humans "enlightened" so they would undoubtedly be trying to teach us their philosophy and unite humans so we have only one religion/philosophy, one world government, one set of laws.

    I think the majority of existing humans would be unwilling to change, but young children would adopt the new ideals (a droid teacher for every classroom in addition to whatever schooling humans provide for themselves) and we would eventually adopt alien policy and be united in one philosophy/religion, one world government, one set of laws.

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