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[TF2] Team Fortress 3 will blow you away.. literally

John ZoidbergJohn Zoidberg Registered User regular
edited July 2009 in Games and Technology

banner3.jpg

Through the use of time machines, sexual favors and some pretty strong alcohol I have managed to get a peek at the best thing to happen to online multiplayer team based games since... Well, Team Fortress 2.


TEAM FORTRESS 3

Utilising the much loved graphics engine from the award winning Team Fortress 2, Team Fortress 3 will redefine the online multiplayer genre when it hit store shelves on November 12th, 2015. I managed to gain a little info on each classes new weapons and abilities and have compiled them below for your viewing pleasure.

The Heavy:
Spoiler:

The Spy:
Spoiler:

The Soldier:
Spoiler:
By this point I had asked the Valve employee that was showing me the game if there was any class that didn't end in a nuclear explosion. He told me to shut my mouth and carry on sucking.

The things I do for you people.

The Pyro:
Spoiler:

The Scout:
Spoiler:

The Demoman:
Spoiler:

These nuclear explosion jokes doing anything for you? Huh? Huh? Aaaaah, you love them.


The Medic:
Spoiler:

The Sniper:
Spoiler:

The Engineer:
Spoiler:
If you still want to play Team Fortress 2 before this masterpiece arrives then below is all the information you need to get playing.

Server Info:
Spoiler:

Quaz and Wally's Engineer Perspective FAQ:
Spoiler:

John Zoidberg on
Xbox Live: Ink Pouch / PSN: Stiff_Ninja / Origin: PAZoidberg / Steam
JabbingJab
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Posts

  • John ZoidbergJohn Zoidberg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I shall add any info or links that people would like to see added.

    Still need to add a link to TF2.com in there somewhere.

    Xbox Live: Ink Pouch / PSN: Stiff_Ninja / Origin: PAZoidberg / Steam
  • MrDelishMrDelish Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Spoiler:
  • AegisAegis Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Wouldn't the title graphic technically be Team Fortress 5?

    Currently DMing: None right now! :(
    Characters
    [5e] Myriil Amarthen - AC 17 | HP 14 | Melee +6/1d6+4 | Spell +5/DC 13
  • LittleBootsLittleBoots Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Meh


    Tofu wrote: Here be Littleboots, destroyer of threads and master of drunkposting.
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    obligatory garbage op statement etc

    EDIT I feel bad I had to bite my hand to not rofl irl at work

  • Handsome CostanzaHandsome Costanza We sell products... ...and get in ROBOTS!Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    *golf clap*

    We sell fights and get into products.
  • TK-42-1TK-42-1 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
  • Erich ZahnErich Zahn So Wangtta~! Remember to [E]ject!Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Remove zot's server. It's down. And has been so forever.

  • JaramrJaramr Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Hahaha.

    Best OP.

    steam_sig.png
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I can't get enough of the medic joke, so good

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
  • undeinPiratundeinPirat Registered User
    edited June 2009
    MrDelish wrote: »
    best op

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] steam: undeinpirat
  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Argh, why must people surf porn so that I had to blacklist photobucket and therefore can't see the lulz? :(

    Looking for a DX:HR OnLive code for my kid brother.
    Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
  • TK-42-1TK-42-1 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Erich Zahn wrote: »
    Remove zot's server. It's down. And has been so forever.

    he put another one back up recently.

    get with the times mr i dont know you 8-)

    sig.jpgsmugriders.gif
  • LookFreeGrenadeLookFreeGrenade Registered User
    edited June 2009
    pyro shouldn't even have to move, all the maps should be covered in gasoline and m1 lights a match

    ormskm.jpg20i89qa.jpg73f2j6.jpg
  • tyrannustyrannus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I like whenever snipers explode.

  • ImpersonatorImpersonator Registered User
    edited June 2009
    MrDelish wrote: »
    best op

    Zoidberg, you've done it again, congratulations. :)

    Bioptic wrote: »
    Lemmings was pro-Communist propeganda. All are created equal, sorted into specific jobs and roles that they will hold for the rest of their lives by a higher authority, and must sacrifice continuously for the good of the group. Success is measured by meeting quotas and nothing else. Also, nuclear holocaust.
  • MinionOfCthulhuMinionOfCthulhu Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Sometimes the op is not good.
    This is not one of those times.

    Bravo.

    mgssig.jpg1152dt.gif
  • Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity Ask me about Super Propane and Super Propane accessoriesRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Zot isn't real

    344B2YT.gifsteamicon48x48.gif Know about web development? I need your help with my professional site!
  • John ZoidbergJohn Zoidberg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    tyrannus wrote: »
    I like whenever snipers explode.

    It's like your crack.. or something.

    Xbox Live: Ink Pouch / PSN: Stiff_Ninja / Origin: PAZoidberg / Steam
  • Erich ZahnErich Zahn So Wangtta~! Remember to [E]ject!Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Argh, why must people surf porn so that I had to blacklist photobucket and therefore can't see the lulz? :(

    It's not funny.

  • MonstyMonsty Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Somber potato sack heavy is adorable. And tragic.

    Yet it made me laugh 'til I stopped!

  • Quaz and WallyQuaz and Wally Registered User
    edited June 2009
    I thought my FAQ's were useful... at least we could tell newbs to read the OP when we had it. But nobody else seems to like them. *sniff*

    Engineer's FAQ
    Spoiler:

  • That_GuyThat_Guy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    John, you have really outdone yourself this time. Bravo. 100 internets into his investment portfolio.

  • Hiryu02Hiryu02 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Dave Chappelle would be proud. As would Bob Sagat.

    Bob Sagat? The streetfighting stand up comedian? TIGER! TIGER! TiGER! TIG-

    Sev: Your gameplay is the most heavily yomi based around. Usually you look for characters that allow you to force guessing situations for big dmg. Even if the guess is mathematically nowhere near in your favor lol. You're happiest when you have either a 50/50, 33/33/33 or even a 75/25 situation to go crazy with. And you will take big risks to force those situations to come up.
  • John ZoidbergJohn Zoidberg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I thought my FAQ's were useful... at least we could tell newbs to read the OP when we had it. But nobody else seems to like them. *sniff*

    Engineer's FAQ
    Spoiler:

    Added to the OP. If anyone has anything they would like linked or added I will try my best to keep up.

    Xbox Live: Ink Pouch / PSN: Stiff_Ninja / Origin: PAZoidberg / Steam
  • El GuacoEl Guaco Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Nice OP. Your mother would be proud...



    ...now go outside!




  • John ZoidbergJohn Zoidberg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Also added a link at the top of the OP for the ongoing TF2 tourny.

    Xbox Live: Ink Pouch / PSN: Stiff_Ninja / Origin: PAZoidberg / Steam
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    fucking hell i'm still laughing

    oh god the heavy one was tragic

  • savooipeerdsavooipeerd Registered User
    edited June 2009
    See now this is what a TF2 OP is supposed to be like.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    See now this is what a TF2 OP is supposed to be like.

    littleboots just burst into flame

  • John ZoidbergJohn Zoidberg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    littleboot's OP was low fat.

    It was good for you.

    Show some appreciation.

    Xbox Live: Ink Pouch / PSN: Stiff_Ninja / Origin: PAZoidberg / Steam
  • Mandalorian RoosterMandalorian Rooster Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Fantastic OP. Maybe slightly better than Littleboot's, even.

  • SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    This OP gets a mushroom stamp of approval.

  • Quaz and WallyQuaz and Wally Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Ho ho, I just got to see the op images. God bless you time traveling whore!

  • KoolaidguyKoolaidguy Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Poor limbless heavy.

  • TK-42-1TK-42-1 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Koolaidguy wrote: »
    Poor limbless heavy.

    yeah seriously. a single tear has been shed

    sig.jpgsmugriders.gif
  • leafleaf Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I will take the writer of the op out for a philly cheesesteak it is so good

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This discussion has been closed.