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Quitting my job, maybe

LaviLavi Registered User
edited July 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
Hello, I posted here before and received some generally great advice.

Basically, I want to quit my job but I feel like a complete asshole if I do so.

Let me explain. Before I had a great job, it was a typical Mon-Fri, 9-5, day time, relatively easy, great supervisors and co-workers, weekends off, etc. The pay was minimum wage but I didn't care, I loved it. I'm a student and it was a temporary position so once it ended I had been hired on as a permanent but due to budget problems they had to let me go. I didn't really care and was fine with it.

But because I now have a girlfriend and some pressure from her and to an extent her family, I looked for another job and luckily I got it. Unfortunately it is not a job I wanted in the first place. It's basically a graveyard shift, Sun-Thurs, 10pm-7am, shitty supervisor, crappy co-workers, and it is an hour and half drive away from where I live.

The problem is that it is messing up my summer classes I'm taking. I've basically fallen behind in school work because I cannot get used to the work hours even though I've been here for a month. I really need to finish these classes so I can transfer out. Although not relevant, when my father passed, I basically took it out on my school work by taking two years off and falling behind, so I really want to "catch up" now.

I want to quit so bad and it's not that I come from a rich family. Far from it, we're not even middle class, but because my mom likes to say our family is from a long line of budget masters I get by quite nicely even with a girlfriend. I think I'm mostly blessed that I do not have to pay rent and my bills are mostly from personal expenses, except I also pay the cable, internet and telephone bill.

Basically I'm getting two different opinions on the subject.

The first one is my grandfather and his legacy he left on my entire family which is a weird philosophy in life, I think. For example, one of his more famous "sayings" was, "let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles", "so what if we don't have water, lets just wait for it to rain", "shit I was born naked, what I have on now is a gain". So everyone on my family is telling me to just quit if I don't like the job, something else will come along and I shouldn't worry about it because its bound to rain sooner or later.

The second one is from my girlfriend and her family. Basically they're telling me I should stick to it, that I should be thankful I even have a job in the first place when so many people do not have jobs. That I need to just work harder to accomplish my goals in life and not be a bum. She told me at least to not quit until I have another job lined up and not to count on my brother. She also doesn't want me to form a habit of "quitting" again since I told her I took a break from school for a while.

On one hand I want to go to work today and when I finish my shift flip off my supervisor, tell him I quit and I'll be back for my last check next week. But on the other hand, I want to go to work today, finish my shift and tell my supervisor I'll see him later that day.

I don't really know why I'm asking anonymous strangers for advice, but maybe different perspectives will help me see something I'm missing. Or at least give provide that happy middle-ground 3rd perspective I need.

Lavi on

Posts

  • Grid SystemGrid System Registered User
    edited June 2009
    You should listen to your girlfriend, and wait until you have another job lined up.

  • PojacoPojaco Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You should listen to your girlfriend, and wait until you have another job lined up.
    You should listen to Grid System, and wait until you have another job lined up.

  • NotYouNotYou Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ehhh... I have the same situation. I'm your grandfather and my family is your girlfriend's family.

    Do whatever you've gotta do to be happy. Obviously I don't mean happy just for the moment, I mean being happy with plans/thoughts for the future. If you think you'll get another job, then quit. If you're worried you won't be able to, then don't. You ought to know what's best for you. You know your plans and backup plans. I'm sure you don't need a pro/con list because you already know it. Just make a decision and stick to it.

  • SaddlerSaddler Registered User
    edited June 2009
    It really depends on how long you can afford to be out of work. If you can afford to be out of work for several months, go ahead and quit. Clearly school is more important than this job, right?

  • eternalbleternalbl Registered User
    edited June 2009
    When it comes down to it, yeah, we're in an economic downturn, but it's already starting to reverse. Concentrating on your studies now so that you're ready when newer skilled jobs are becoming available is not a bad plan at all.

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  • ihmmyihmmy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    hunt around for another job, see how promising the prospects seem. sounds like a shittyass job though, I'd quit it as soon as it's financially feasible for you (i.e. you have some other pt job lined up)

  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You're young. Your income is disposable. You get by fine with your finances, according to you.

    None of the above is permanent. Things can change, and they often do. My advice is to stick it out with this job while you look for something else. Obviously, you should not stay in an environment you hate, but don't quit just because you don't like it and it's inconvenient.

    I agree with your girlfriend in that you don't want to get into a habit of turning tail whenever you don't like something. There seems to be no harm in working at this place while you secure something better for yourself.

    Think of it this way: you can quit right now and never go back to this place again. If it took you an entire month to find a job and for the pay to start rolling in (that's a pretty generous estimate), how would you feel? That's an entire month with no pay, doing basically nothing during that time, and quite possibly sinking into a rut.

    Your family seems to be a bit too laid back at the moment, and I don't think it's entirely a good idea to just shrug your shoulders and assume everything will turn out okay. At the very least, find a slightly-less-shitty job while you look for something better, but don't quit with nothing lined up.

    You never know what is going to happen.

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  • ElinElin Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    If you stay in a job you hate and fail school because your GF is pressuring you, how long before you start to resent her for it. And there is nothing wrong with taking a break from school if it's not what you want to be doing. Better to take a break and come back wanting it, than pay for tuition and fail classes because you don't give a shit. Don't let anyone hold that shit over your head. I know plenty of people that went to college right out of HS because it was expected, and most of them are now back in school because they're doing shit they hate.

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  • noir_bloodnoir_blood Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Tell your gf's family that it's none of their fucking business.

    You may of course be more polite about it depending on how much you like them.

    Spoiler:
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    OP, I was in your exact same position back when I was in school. Adjusting to that kind of schedule is insanely difficult, especially while trying to go to school. I ended up quitting, but only after I fell sleep behind the wheel of my car driving home and pretty much totaled it.

    If you can afford to quit, I say do it. Your school is an investment and should be a priority.

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  • LewishamLewisham Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Elin wrote: »
    If you stay in a job you hate and fail school because your GF is pressuring you, how long before you start to resent her for it.

    To be honest, as far as I'm concerned, unless you guys are engaged, her family doesn't get to have a say in any of your personal affairs. They can go to hell, and they sound like meddling fuckers to me. She gets some influence, but not them.

    It's probably easier if we play the Worst Case Hypothetical game. This usually sounds flippant, but I find it can help sometimes.

    If you keep the job, the Worst Case Scenario is that you fail your summer classes, and when you're working a full-time job with a 3 hour round-trip commute, that is pretty likely, let alone the fact it's a night gig. If you fail your classes, you're either going to have to enroll for another semester, which is a huge chunk of change, or you just flunk out of school and have no degree, and all you have to show for it is a job you hate. A job with no career prospects.

    If you ditch the job, the Worst Case Scenario is you have less disposable income. This job isn't paying towards your schooling, as that doesn't pay enough. You didn't say you needed it to survive, so I'm assuming it's disposable. So you forego eating out, some new video games, whatever you spend it on. You get to finish school and hopefully get a decent job.

    I don't see how anything makes sense but to ditch the job. If it was you not wanting to do it, but it had no effect on other, more important things, that's one thing. But if it's helping you fuck up school, and let me remind you, doing a full-time job at the same time as tertiary education is brutally hard already, (and I would recommend no-one actually does that), it's a no brainer.

  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    noir_blood wrote: »
    Tell your gf's family that it's none of their fucking business.

    You may of course be more polite about it depending on how much you like them.

    Well it is none of their business, they are partially right.

    The OP's family seems to be shrugging their shoulders and telling their son to do whatever he feels like. It may make him happy today, but in the long run he's going to find himself in a shitty financial situation, and where will his grandfather's witty sayings get him then?

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  • LewishamLewisham Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Figgy wrote: »
    The OP's family seems to be shrugging their shoulders and telling their son to do whatever he feels like. It may make him happy today, but in the long run he's going to find himself in a shitty financial situation, and where will his grandfather's witty sayings get him then?

    I get the feeling that there's more to the OP's feelings towards his family than he's saying, and doesn't want to trust them. I expect they have not made an attempt to better themselves in their lives, and the OP is worried about becoming like them.

    This is a healthy thing, and a good reason to have drive to become a successful person!

    But the road to success is a good education, not working a night shift.

  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Lewisham wrote: »
    Figgy wrote: »
    The OP's family seems to be shrugging their shoulders and telling their son to do whatever he feels like. It may make him happy today, but in the long run he's going to find himself in a shitty financial situation, and where will his grandfather's witty sayings get him then?

    I get the feeling that there's more to the OP's feelings towards his family than he's saying, and doesn't want to trust them. I expect they have not made an attempt to better themselves in their lives, and the OP is worried about becoming like them.

    This is a healthy thing, and a good reason to have drive to become a successful person!

    But the road to success is a good education, not working a night shift.

    I can't imagine the OP's girlfriend having a problem with him quitting a graveyard-shift job if he truly doesn't need the money at all. She probably sees how his family lives and wants him to have a better life.

    I can relate to that feeling, and if you can manage a job and your education at the same time, then all the power to you. It's great the come out of school with an education and as little debt as possible.

    Even working throughout post-secondary, I graduated with quite a heavy debt-load because my family was in no position to help.

    I think this bit is important:
    not to count on my brother.

    because it suggests the OP's brother is paying for something. Will this last? I'm thinking the girlfriend is trying to keep her boyfriend better safe than sorry.

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  • eternalbleternalbl Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Figgy wrote: »
    noir_blood wrote: »
    Tell your gf's family that it's none of their fucking business.

    You may of course be more polite about it depending on how much you like them.

    Well it is none of their business, they are partially right.

    The OP's family seems to be shrugging their shoulders and telling their son to do whatever he feels like. It may make him happy today, but in the long run he's going to find himself in a shitty financial situation, and where will his grandfather's witty sayings get him then?

    The funny thing about this line of thinking is its fairly short term itself. School takes maybe 5-6 years if you don't take a full course load. Then, unless you're unmotivated or unlucky or a little of both, you have built yourself a better foundation for the rest of your life.

    Spoiler:
  • JebusUDJebusUD Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    How much money do you have saved up?

    You haven't given me a reason to steer clear of you!
  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Unless your financial situation is less comfortable than you're describing (mainly, if quitting could threaten your education) quit. Toughing it out is just going to make you unhappy, screw up your relationship with your girlfriend, and mess up your studies. Human beings aren't meant to work those kind of hours.

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  • i n c u b u si n c u b u s Registered User
    edited June 2009
    I wouldn't do anything that would jepardize your grades because they are whats going to get you in the job you ultimately want to have for the majority of your life. Why would you risk screwing up something that could better your life with a job that you hated when you were younger? Trust me when I say that it is very hard to get back on track with school once you screw up even a semester bad enough. The fact that you really don't like the job is the last reason your quitting but a reason nonetheless. If you think you can get by for a bit while searching for a new job then I'd say respectfully put in your two weeks (that way you get that much more cash) and move on. Put your studies first and continue to search for a job and you'll probably be much better off, if not happier, then your were before. It might be a bit hard finding another job right away but not impossible. Don't let your gf and her family judge you for the decisions that you make about your life especially if you guys aren't tied by marriage. Ultimately this is a decision that you should make for yourself after you've considered the options. I hope after a while this will be a situation you can laugh at and say you came out on top.

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  • DusT_HounDDusT_HounD Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Just to reiterate what pretty much everyone else is saying:

    Prioritize school. Edumacation is the most important thing you can have, and it WILL significantly increase your job prospects down the line.
    Spoiler:

    Furthermore, don't let your GF's family dictate to you what you do; resentment will arise, and that's not a good thing. Put it to them reasonably, though- you're quitting your job which TAKES 3 FUCKING HOURS OUT OF YOUR DAY TRAVEL TIME THAT COULD BE SPENT STUDYING. If you stay in the job, from what you're saying, your life will continue to feel miserable, and your studies will go down the toilet.

    If you can manage without the job, then quit it- to me it seems that your entire internal conflict is coming from worrying about a hypothetical situation, and also worrying about whether your GF and her family will think you're some kind of dropout bum.

    On the other hand, if you subsequently try to drop out of your studies as well, so help me i will organise the forumers here to form an angry mob with me, and we'll beat you like a redheaded stepchild.

    Get that education! Best of luck!

  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    1. Figure out how long you can survive without an income source. How many months of rent, utilities, and food do you have saved up?
    2. If you want a different job with normal hours, start looking for one ASAP.
    3. The worst thing that could happen is that you fail your classes. Paying money for school and getting nothing to show for it is a bad deal. So make sure you do what you need to do to get your work done and pass your classes. If that means taking fewer hours at work, so be it.

    Where do you live?

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  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009

    The first one is my grandfather and his legacy he left on my entire family which is a weird philosophy in life, I think. For example, one of his more famous "sayings" was, "let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles", "so what if we don't have water, lets just wait for it to rain", "shit I was born naked, what I have on now is a gain". So everyone on my family is telling me to just quit if I don't like the job, something else will come along and I shouldn't worry about it because its bound to rain sooner or later.


    I don't see how your Grandfather's sayings imply you should quit the job at all. Don't these mean roughly "whatever cards life deals you, take and be grateful"?

    It seems to me like the real ~best~ solution is for you to buckle down, do the job, and do your schoolwork. Things may be tough, but there is no real reason you can't do both unless there is a specific schedule problem (I.E. your job prevents you from going to class, rather than you don't go to class because you are tired or want to do something else in between).

    I think your girlfriend and co have it right. Sure, like a lot of folk say in here, it's none of her business or whatever, but it dosen't sound to me like she is trying to control you, only to ensure you don't get stuck on a habit of quitting when times are rough. You may not get another job, and is it fair to your brother to place your burden on his shoulders when you can carry your own weight?

    "let them cut the power, we'll just light some candles"

    You cut the power on yourself with your decisions. Light some candles, and study by candlelight. You can do both if you try. If you don't like your job, at least get another, better scheduled one or talk with your shift supervisor and see if something can be arranged. Things will be rough for a time, but at least you will be standing on your own two feet.

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  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I know from personal experience that a night shift job during college can suck. I never got accustomed to it. Nothing worse than working all night then going home to shower/change and head in for class right away, while maybe trying to study a bit more for that test you have. Then you come home, sleep, get up, eat dinner, have a couple hours to do homework then off to work. For some reason I never had as much free time when working at night during college.

    I say if you can pay your bills for up to 4 months w/o a job, and this one is making classes harder, then quit. Non-skilled jobs are always around. downturns in the economy don't really affect McJobs, their turnover is always going to be there and you'll be able to find something, IF YOU REALLY LOOK. Just know that it probably won't pay well or be as sweet as that temp job you had.

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  • LaviLavi Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Wow my apologies I didn't really have much time to get to it but to answer some basic questions asked.

    Yeah my oldest brother is a fuck up. Everyone continuously bails him out of every situation he has and to an extent my other sister and brother. I do hold a bit of resentment towards my siblings in general, lets just say I hate being the youngest.

    I don't really want to get into everything because I've been told the job ends at the end of July so I think I'm going to "rough it out" for 4 weeks or attempt to. I'm going to look for a job with better hours at least in the meanwhile even if its only several hours a week.

    I do have $7k saved up (I've worked since I could work) so that was never really an issue for the time being.

    Also just to clear it up, I never meant to imply my girlfriend was being controlling. I know she cares about me and simply didn't want me to fall into a rut of quitting. One of her close friends quits at everything she does and it really gets to her.

    Finally, I can't ask for better hours, I've talked to my shift supervisor and in a few words he simply stated that I should quit if I didn't like it.

  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Quit, but don't take your time finding a new job. You should be looking now.

    You have a cushion, so you can afford to stop working at the first place for a while... but 1) you don't want to piss away that money, and 2) it will go faster than you think.

  • jeddy leejeddy lee Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Just so you're aware, contrary to popular belief, you CAN file for unemployment after quitting a job, it's just there will likely be something like a 6 week penalty. Be aware that in order to quallify for it, you have to be able to work, if they ask if you can work and you say "no, I'm going to college and if offered I will not accept a full time job" then you can't get unemployment.

    On the other hand, don't rule it out as an option. UIB is not like public assistance, it is an insurance that you and your employer pay directly into, for your use, and is not "needs based" as public assistance is. The amount you are eligible for is based on your gross earnings over the last 5 quarters, and if you don't take advantage of the money that's there, it's lost to you (for example if you lost your job, and out of spite didn't file uib for a year and a half, then went and filed for it they would say "too bad/so sad" despite having accrued 50 quallifying quarters in your life.)

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  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2009
    Pojaco wrote: »
    You should listen to your girlfriend, and wait until you have another job lined up.
    You should listen to Grid System, and wait until you have another job lined up.

    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I was in this position last year. I soldiered on with the graveyard shift job for a year even though I got dicked by upper management in terms of hours (ended up being full time), because my shifts were such great people. My shifts both got transferred to other stores, and I quit to restore my GPA before transferring, much the same situation you now face.

    If you're living with your mom still, you have money saved, and you only have 1 or 2 abbreviated semesters left before you transfer, then most definitely quit and deal with the school stuff first. I've seen far too many of my friends drop out of school to work their shitty dead-end jobs forever (one at Burger King, one at Wendy's, one at Walmart). It seems to me if you fall behind in school quite drastically, or even have to take a semester off, it will totally fuck someone. Once people drop school, they tend to drop it for years, if not forever.

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