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Writing a polite letter to rude people

NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
edited July 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
ok, so, my dad is disabled. he has multiple sclerosis and, among other things, finds it very hard to walk distances- going about half a mile gets him puffed out on a good day.

but he still needs to have an active life and do some errands and things, so he often uses the car to go shopping or whatnot. the thing is, he needs a place nearby to park so he doesn't have to walk far.

to this end we asked the council to create a disabled parking space outside our house, which they did. the law says that there's nothing illegal about anyone NOT disabled parking there, but either people don't know that it's not illegal or they don't park there out of common courtesy.

recently, some neighbours a few doors down have started parking there after a traffic warden told them it was legal to do so, and while i have told them last time they did this not to do so, since blah blah dad disabled blah, they have since parked there again. when my dad needs to use the space. and struggling with shopping bags.

so, they are basically dicks. the thing is, i can't get a hold of them at their house whenever i try, and i can rarely catch them in the street. so i need to leave them a message on their car in the disabled space.

can anybody help me write them a polite, formal letter that tells them to move their shit since they are being total bastards?

Nuzak on

Posts

  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    How about something simple and straight forward?

    Something along the lines of, "This parking space is intended for my father, who suffers a condition in which it is difficult for him to walk from other parking spaces. Although it is completely within your legal rights to park in a disabled spot without actually suffering a disability, it shows a lack of courtesy and respect for those who really need it. We would appreciate it if you could refrain from parking here in the future, as it restricts my father's independence and ability to lead a normal life.

    Thank you,
    Nuzak"

    I'd also make sure just to use your first name, not that I think they'd do anything 'bad' with your last name, just they don't really need it and it seems less like a demand that way.

  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    classy, i like it. thanks a lot. i was struggling a bit with how to frame my request clearly and without being embarrassing about my dad's condition, and that hits the spot nicely.

    thanks!

  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I would be working on a B plan.

    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • FreakinchairFreakinchair Registered User
    edited July 2009
    I was under the impression that parking in a spot without a certified disability placard IS illegal.

    Just a quick google check shows that it is in south dakota:
    http://www.state.sd.us/drr2/motorvehicle/disability.htm

    Not sure where you live but you may want to look it up.

    I'd construct a situation such that everyone died at the exact same moment so that we could attack whatever afterlife there happens to be en masse and so take it over and create a perfect unending afterlife existence. Also, everyone who wanted one would have an afterlife pony.
  • TK-42-1TK-42-1 Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    im about 90% sure he's british so the laws are quite different. handicapped parking is a part of the ADA as far as i know. even in america where it IS illegal people still do it constantly and many times they repeat after a disabled person has confronted them personally about it and what it means when they do it. I used to work in a gas station and would chastise people for parking there. they would just shrug it off like 'fuck you i do what i want'

    either the people will respect it and not park there, or they'll continue to do so and all you can really do is hope to catch them out there and shame them in person

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  • Evil_ReaverEvil_Reaver Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

    You can't write a note and not come across as some passive aggressive douche. You need to confront them in person.

    XBL: Agitated Wombat | 3DS: 2363-7048-2527
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    ... would it be possible for your father to confront them? If anything is going to change their mind (outside of legal punishments), it would be someone with MS pleading for them to not park there.

    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • starmanbrandstarmanbrand Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ You can just take one of those and repurpose it!

    Would it be possible to just have your dad go to their house and say what Wez said in person?

    A note is just something they will probably laugh at. A guy with MS asking for courtesy in person might guilt them into doing it.

    edit: next time im refreshing a tab when i leave it open for 20 minutes. BEAT'D

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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I'd say a letter would probably get the point across. Sure some people wont respond to it, but alot of people will stop doing something once they realize that its actually used. Its possible that they think nobody actually uses it and that its just a waste of a parking spot, if this is the case then a slightly passive aggressive letter will usually do the trick.

  • GrundlestiltskinGrundlestiltskin Behind you!Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

    You can't write a note and not come across as some passive aggressive douche. You need to confront them in person.

    Except that he says he tried that several times and can't get a hold of them. Unless he's being misleading about how hard he's tried, it's not like the note was his first choice.

    sglogo.jpg

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  • Evil_ReaverEvil_Reaver Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

    You can't write a note and not come across as some passive aggressive douche. You need to confront them in person.

    Except that he says he tried that several times and can't get a hold of them. Unless he's being misleading about how hard he's tried, it's not like the note was his first choice.

    And?

    It doesn't change the fact that he needs to do it in person and not leave a note.

    XBL: Agitated Wombat | 3DS: 2363-7048-2527
  • GrundlestiltskinGrundlestiltskin Behind you!Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Yes, I can see where continuing to fail at contacting someone face to face and resigning yourself to leaving a note as your last resort would make you "a passive aggressive douche," as opposed to someone who was just tired of knocking on the door and getting no response.

    sglogo.jpg

    3DS FC: 2079-6424-8577
  • Nick SoapdishNick Soapdish Registered User
    edited July 2009
    www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

    You can't write a note and not come across as some passive aggressive douche. You need to confront them in person.

    I want to thank you for showing me this site. I totally got paid today to read this for 5 hours. Thumbs up to you.

  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

    You can't write a note and not come across as some passive aggressive douche. You need to confront them in person.

    Except that he says he tried that several times and can't get a hold of them. Unless he's being misleading about how hard he's tried, it's not like the note was his first choice.

    And?

    It doesn't change the fact that he needs to do it in person and not leave a note.

    I think you're missing the part in the OP where he says he has, in fact, told the people in question not to park in the handicapped spot.

    Personally, I think a short, curt note written in dark ink large enough for passers-by to easily read might shame these people into parking elsewhere.

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  • Evil_ReaverEvil_Reaver Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I think you guys are missing the part where I said writing notes doesn't work and it makes you a douche.

    The OP needs to:

    A.) Try harder to contact these people in person.

    B.) Call the cops or talk to the city about that parking spot.

    XBL: Agitated Wombat | 3DS: 2363-7048-2527
  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Not everyone who leaves a note is a passive-aggresive douche. For starters, if you don't know the people and cannot contact them personally then leaving a note might be the OPs only option. It's not as if he roomies with them or works three cubicles away. Why should he put himself on their time by trying to catch them when they're home/willing to answer the door? Leaving a note, in this particular situation, is a very reasonable move.

    And, really, calling the cops isn't really the non-douche move unless he's already exhausted every other option. And, it doesn't matter anyway since it's technically not illegal to park in that particular handicapped spot.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • Evil_ReaverEvil_Reaver Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I completely disagree.

    However, I'm going to self-mod myself and leave since the OP is asking for advice on how to write a note and I can't provide what he wants.

    XBL: Agitated Wombat | 3DS: 2363-7048-2527
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I think you guys are missing the part where I said writing notes doesn't work and it makes you a douche.

    The OP needs to:

    A.) Try harder to contact these people in person.

    B.) Call the cops or talk to the city about that parking spot.

    I agree that leaving notes is usually a douchey response.

    However, he has already talked to them once about this and has had trouble getting in touch with them since.

    And calling the cops is definitely a MORE douchetastic response than leaving a polite note like the one in the second post.

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  • peilpeil Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Where in the UK are you located?
    I have a neighbour who has a disabled space marked on the road outside his house and the council were able to put up an enforcement sign as well. Anyone parks there and they can get a ticket & towed.
    I'm in Scotland FWIW

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • HallucinogenHallucinogen Registered User
    edited July 2009
    I don't think leaving a note is out of line at this point, and people who think leaving a note is passive-aggressive take things too personally. It's a mistake to make assumptions about the tone of someone's writing unless they use some specific language Many people over-think what they're writing in an attempt to be clear and thorough, which makes it come out stiff and pretentious.

    Not that I'm condoning anything illegal... but I wouldn't feel sorry for them if their tires just happened to be flat when they got back to their vehicle. Let's see how they like reduced mobility.

    Also, I'd take peil's advice and see if an exception can be made for that space.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I would be working on a B plan.

    If they're just being inconsiderate, a note could take care of the problem. If they're assholes, this could make the problem worse and start a more "public" battle.

    In other words, they could start being confrontational, which is something it sounds like your father would have trouble with. You need to be prepared for that possibility.

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  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I would exclude any discussion of legality from the note. Just say "you are using a parking space specifically intended for my father, who needs it for x, y, z reasons. We would appreciate it if you refrained from parking there in the future."

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  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I agree that writing a note in this case is not a douche move.

    Parking in a disabled parking space while you are not disabled? That's a douche move.

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  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Wezoin wrote: »
    How about something simple and straight forward?

    Something along the lines of, "This parking space is intended for my father, who suffers a condition in which it is difficult for him to walk from other parking spaces. Although it is completely within your legal rights to park in a disabled spot without actually suffering a disability, it shows a lack of courtesy and respect for those who really need it. We would appreciate it if you could refrain from parking here in the future, as it restricts my father's independence and ability to lead a normal life.

    Thank you,
    Nuzak"

    I'd also make sure just to use your first name, not that I think they'd do anything 'bad' with your last name, just they don't really need it and it seems less like a demand that way.

    As a suggestion I would also include.

    "If you wish to discuss this matter please stop by at X o'clock." Often this scares people off as it's a confrontation and it's easier for them not to actually do it.

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