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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories
Posts
Oh the things we could get her to make though. We could put her through college. Who needs to strip when you can sew stuffed animals for nerds? :lol:
PSN: SAW776
Good lord. If someone sewed me a little stuffed penguin and a tiny ninja I would be so "dawwwww, you're the besh-test." I would probably even tear up a little bit. Yes, yes I am a sap, and proud of it.
Lord knows I wouldn't have turned down that offer. And then the cycle would continue....
Jesus Christ, it's like you're describing my first girlfriend. Let's see if I can recall all the lies she told me:
-Said she was 19, when she was actually 18.
-Said she went to boarding school in England as a kid.
-Said her family owned a vineyard in Italy.
-Said she had 4 middle names (damned if I can remember all of them).
-Said she was a virgin.
-Said she had two kids with a previous boyfriend years ago that had since died in a car accident.
-Said she was going to a psychiatrist.
-Said she was posing naked for some artist at her work to make me jealous.
-Said her real father was some semi-famous wrestler on the Portland circuit.
-Said she was pregnant during one of our on/off breakups, but it was a tubal ligation, so she'd had an abortion.
And this is just the stuff I still remember after breaking up nearly a decade ago.
so glad you're not all hung up over him (ha)
If I had an Alyce doodle every day i would probably be mad too because it would make me feel like the worst doodle drawer ever in comparison
Haha, I really don't mind doing them for free. It's fun, and I like doing things to make people happy
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
I can't see the doodle but I'll assume its cool because you sound lovely.
EDIT:and now I can see it hours later. That's sweet.
If someone I put trust in made my mom cry for a reason like this I'd take a tire iron to his face. I am so incredibly furious right now, fuck.
who the fuck does that
fucking shit-munching pissant savage
It's going in the rotation.
Well as an ambassador to this alien species you should have taken the time to introduce Ken Gloodpdagleep to the Earth custom of "getting his ass kicked" for being a douche.
YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE TAM
TIME TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
Just need to find my tire iron
GT: batshido Hit me up on ME3.
Facebook|Best vid ever.|2nd best vid ever.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Well you've done something about it now. So kudos to you. Won't have to worry about it happening again.
GREAT STORY, RIGHT
Also, I would have put crushed glass in the food of any guy who treated a friend of mine the way your ex treated you alyce.
Yeah I bet you wish you weren't a horrible person now that you're bleeding out youe asshole from ten thousand cuts in your shredded intestines, asshole.
1 . My first girlfriend thought she could talk to the dead and would even channel one of these personalities.
2. One woman I slept with thought yanking my nuttsack really sharply would be pleasurable.
3. One girl I dated proceeded to tell me on her first date that her ex boyfriend was a heroine addict and currently serving time in jail.
In all 3 cases, I got the fuck out.
This is the equivalent of screaming GUILTY! and wanting to put a dude in the electric chair after you've heard the prosecution's opening arguments.
EDIT: Also yeah what of it rocketsauce. He obviously did it.
EDIT the second: I have never actually killed someone neither attempted to do so, and no-one has cause for concern if I prepare a meal for them.
I just hope he learns to treat his next girlfriend better.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Cause I'll be damned if I knew when I was 16.
I pronounce it bee-log.
I hope she likes random yelling and the occasional push if she ever wants to switch places by the sounds of it.
I think the point that Abdhyius is trying to make is that it's sad that someone as obviously nice as Alyce should have had to go through the rough time she did and that it's frustrating to hear about it all. But as stated earlier she's getting herself into a better state now and hell she's making people ninja penguins. What is not to love about that?!
1. She used to tell me that she was a medium, and could talk to the dead.
2. Her ex was a sociopath and psychopath an that he has served jail time on assault and murder charges.
3. She used to be apart of an underground chop shop, and also she was hunted by "kings" for death.
4. She was once kidnapped and used as a slave for over a month and a half without having anyone else knowing about it.
5. One of the reasons why we broke up is because I wouldn't hold her hand, or be effectionate around her grandparents, such as kissing her infront of them, and being a cute an cuddly...an that crap.
and that's all i got now.
Just courtesy, really. Maybe she got off on doing shit with people to catch her or disapprove nearby.
I pronounce it bee-log.
Kittens and Bubblegum.
I think.
I dunno, I usually like to get the other person's side of the story before I go around wishing for anuses to be shredded.
Crazy+crazy!=justice. Crazy+crazy=more crazy.
Like tell that person not to be a doormat?
okay i promise not to poison anyone
i do reserve the right to get mighty riled up tho
Since I'm enjoying the stories so much, let me point out that the second equation is not necessarily undesirable.
More crazy!
Most people wouldn't consider glass a poison...:winky:
Though you probably shouldn't feed people glass. I like to limit the use of these guys: o_O D: as much as possible.
Sure, but you also have to remember that anyone who's been in a relationship long enough can be made to look like an asshole/bitch if you just mention the bad stuff.
and ninja-penguins...
ninguins!
Let me start off by saying that my friend is no catch. He is overweight and very socially awkward, had a dead-end job for a while and is a slob. That being said, he is my friend so I am sad that this crazy woman has basically enslaved my friend. He met a girl who is an absolute bitch. She convinced him to move in with him after 3 months, they got engaged in another 4 months and were married after just over a year after knowing each other. During this time frame she:
-Made him cut off all contact with his family (with whom he was very close with before)
-Made him get rid of all his comics, game systems, etc. which he enjoyed immensley
-(bolding now for craziness) Made him join the marines to pay for her lifestyle. Made him join a military organization to pay for her own shit.
-Moved to a town where she has had two former boyfriends and I suspect she is cheating on him regular
-He has a kid with her
-She SCREAMED at us when we told him he had to slow shit down and think about this by himself. We tried to get him alone for a night to try to talk some sense with him. Yes we wanted to sabotage this relationship because it is not healthy for him
The ONLY good thing about this is that he has lost so much weight due to being in the marines that maybe he will grow a spine and leave her, even though she would make out like a bandit.
i wish I could call him my friend but man I cannot do anything with him while that evil succubus is around.
She'd tell me to call her all the time, and would always give a general time (this evening, when you get off work, etc). Oh, and she used the very common 'upper hand' tactic of pretty much never being the one to call.
Here's the thing; If I ever didn't call, she would get mad, but if I did call, she'd say I was calling too often. For the record, I didn't call her that much to begin with (certainly not excessively), and pretty soon it was literally only when she had specifically told me to.
I asked her about it in person, and of course in person she didn't act crazy. She apologized (even though I really hadn't brought it up in any sort of accusational way), but it continued. I found it baffling, mainly because aside from her phone-related issues, things were going great.
Ironically, one of the very few times she ever initiated a call was the day after I broke up with her, trying to work things out.
I know it's pretty tame by this thread's standards, but it was irritating as fuck at the time.
1st girlfriend, Dated for nearly 3 years - This girl had her nude pictures on a geocities page on the internet before I dated her (we were 15 at the time). She also had a nasty habbit of carving names into her own body... mainly my name. Also, she loved to guilt trip me into driving over to her house (when I turned 16 obviously) no matter the weather. I swear I went through some of the worst ice storms of my life just to spend literally 45 minutes with her. Damn near hit a tree one time.
2nd girlfriend, dated for exactly 1 year - She claimed to have multiple personalities the whole time I dated her. Every time she brought up that subject I just kind of laughed and forgot about it, but now I can totally see her differing personalities (I never got to know any personality names or anything, though). She was also schizophrenic and hallucinated. She told me that her psychologist basically told her at any point she could wake up and just not be there anymore. One time she had a total psychological breakdown while also hallucinating. I always say I'm really no good when a girl is crying and just don't know what to do. Well, I really fucking have no idea what to do when they're crying and seeing disembodied heads floating about the room.
She was also probably the least sexual being on earth. She quite honestly did not get sex jokes or really anything involving that. That was probably partially because she was uber religious (and in fact later changed her major from teaching to deaconness...). But even most of the uber religious people I met at that same college knew what the hell I was talking about when I cracked a joke. She really had no clue.
Leading off of that, she obviously wouldn't have sex before marriage. But we did make out. After the first night where I got up her shirt, she freaked out and backed things way up. No biggie, we'd get there again I thought. And sure we got there again, but further than that was hilarious. She would only give me a handjob through a sock. One night after a ton of convincing she was going to try it without the sock and after one touch pulled her hand back and said she wasn't ready. So back went the sock!
Girlfriend 3, dated for 2 weeks - Totally not crazy compared to 2, but still had her odd quirks. Her problems were completely opposite of 2's, actually. This one was younger (just turned 18 and a senior in high school at the time, where as the last one was slightly older than me at 20.) Anyway, she had been sleeping with muuuuuuch older men since she was younger. She went way up in the 30s, too. But, she never ever ever orgasmed (basically said she couldn't and never did). She really only loved sex for the power it gave her.
Girlfriend 4, dated for also about 2 weeks - Not too crazy, though she broke up with me so she could go into alcohol rehab. I also just thought she was crazy because she got her nipples pierced purely on a dare.
And girlfriend 5 is my current and is totally not crazy at all.
Sadly, not very many :cry: