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Living out Sexual fantasies (consensually)

flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
edited August 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
So my boyfriend and I want to RP but we're worried about sounding ridiculous and laughing our asses off instead of having hot domination sex.

He's a dom and I'm a sub, and we like to get a little rough when we play but currently we've kept things pretty normal BDSM roleplaying-wise

Advice/suggestions on how to break the ice and live out our crazy rape and servitude and seduction fantasies? :D

flowerhoney on

Posts

  • PracticalProblemSolverPracticalProblemSolver Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Just keep doing it, there's not really any way to do it guaranteed without laughter, you just need to keep at it.

  • PasserbyePasserbye The Woman Who Is Not Short at The Moonlite All-Nite Diner; a glass box full of bad food and good people.Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    This site is geared more towards lifestylers, rather than weekenders. If I'm reading your post right, you're more of a weekender, but the site might give you a good idea on basics, such as the importance of clear communication, clear definition of boundaries, exploring why these fantasies work for you, etc.

    In terms of bondage techniques (rope work) these two sites are useful:

    Bondage, How To Gives more direct technique instruction (ie, how to tie different knots).

    Bondage University Gives good advice on safety measures, how to work with the body without doing damage, etc.

    Like I mentioned in the first paragraph, communication is very important in this, even for light weekend stuff. Most people get the giggles in the more 'taboo' sexual situations precisely because they are taboo. The more familiar you are with what you want, what your boyfriend wants, and how you want the scene to play out, the more comfortable you will be. As well, the more familiar you are with what you're doing (ie, rope work), the more comfortable you will be.

    As Practical said, just keep at it. Sex, like anything else, gets easier and better with practice. Just go at your own pace, keep talking, and have fun! :D

  • acidlacedpenguinacidlacedpenguin Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    at least with laughter it means you're both having fun, right? Further, if you're not having fun then what are you doing it for?

    With that said, just keep trying.

    GT: Acidboogie PSNid: AcidLacedPenguiN
  • strategerystrategery Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Don't worry so much about laughter. Sex is meant to be fun, and funny. If it wasn't then half the noises that are made voluntarily and involuntarily during the act wouldn't exist. Let alone the contorted faces.

    Just be open, tell him the fantasy you want to do and see if he's game. Odds are he probably is.

    Just make sure you pick a safe word. What you're talking about doing gets ugly real quick without one.

    Spoiler:
  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    1. Have a safe word
    2. Close the windows, not just the blinds
    3. Don't worry about a little laughter

    Also, hell of a first post. :P

    Looking for a DX:HR OnLive code for my kid brother.
    Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Okay. Here's a lot of advise that you probably didn't ask for:

    My current relationship has, from the beginning, been significantly based on a BDSM-theme. My partner and I are both interested, and this was, in fact, the basis of the original relationship.

    We took a rather opposite approach in that we began pretty "hardcore" living out our fantasies. It was awesome, it was great and then our relationship evolved. At the moment we're trying everything to sort of "rekindle the spark" and it is working, somewhat.

    In short, there are really just a few things I want to say. First, everyone has a different level of commitment. What matters for such a trust-based and intimate type of relationship is a certain level of commitment. If someone won't pass your bar, you'll simply be disappointing. I get the feeling that you're both "exploring" this now, and you'll figure some of the other stuff out as you go. One of you may be more excited than the other, or perhaps you'll find a good level and simply stay there.

    Seriousness is something that is somewhat essential for creating the necessary mood. It's hard to feel oppressed or powerless when you're not taking it seriously. It can seriously ruin an entire evening if one party gets all hot and bothered and then the other drops the ball and starts acting foolishly.

    Regardless, start slow. It's more about how far you're each wanting to go than it is about comfort or simply "not laughing". Who is the instigator? How did you even get here? One of the most challenging situations is when a sub wants things to go further, yet cannot instigate them without breaking the entire dynamic. Have you or he actually ruined scenes because of laughter?

    Really, just make sure you're both on the same page. I don't mean to condescend, but I can't help but believe that one party wants "crazy rape and servitude and seduction fantasies" while the other is attempting to make it happen because that's the other's fantasy. Of course, it isn't as black and white as that. If you both actually want it to happen, then he has to make it happen. If he's incapable of making it happen, you're probably in for disappointment, anyway.

    IMHO, and all that, but I think there's more going on here than just in the OP.

    3rddocbottom.jpg
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Thanks for all the advice!!
    My boyfriend plays on the PA tf2 servers and he said you guys would be super helpful!

    I'm positive that we're on the page as far as wants and expectations go, we're just a little shaky on how to realize these ideals of ours. This is all very new territory.

    It might be safe to say that we are currently weekenders traveling in the lifestyle direction as best we can! Slowly expanding the comfort zone. It can be a little scary wondering if he think my desire to submit seems too degrading or on the flip-side, his concern that too much domination will make him seem like an asshole.

    (By the way, those websites were wonderful! Any other sites would be greatly appreciated)

  • SuMa.LustreSuMa.Lustre Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My boyfriend plays on the PA tf2 servers

    who is he

    so we can make fun him


  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My boyfriend plays on the PA tf2 servers

    who is he

    so we can make fun him


    MelancholyMark
    Isn't it obvious?

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