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"The Law of Nines", or what the fuck is wrong with Terry Goodkind??

RiusRius Registered User regular
edited October 2010 in Social Entropy++
Straight from this week's Borders email, announcing what's new in the bookstore world, comes "The Law of Nines", Terry Goodkind's new book on shelves today.
Amazon.com wrote:
Editorial Reviews
Review
“Fast paced, riveting and scary. It will leave the reader breathless.”
--Nelson DeMille

“A gripping ride”
--PW

"Astonishing”
--Kirkus

Product Description
A publishing event— #1 New York Times–bestselling author Terry Goodkind turns in a new direction and delivers a stunningly original thriller.

Turning twenty-seven may be terrifying for some, but for Alex, a struggling artist living in the midwestern United States, it is cataclysmic. Inheriting a huge expanse of land should have made him a rich and happy man; but something about this birthday, his name, and the beautiful woman whose life he just saved, has suddenly made him—and everyone he loves—into a target. A target for extreme and uncompromising violence . . . In Alex, Terry Goodkind brings to life a modern hero in a whole new kind of high-octane thriller.

Well, that doesn't sound too bad, right? I mean, sure, it sounds a little familiar, and what's all that stuff about turning 27 being terrifying? It looks like it's getting decent reviews, so maybe it's alright? Let's look around for some more information.
The Law of Nines Terry Goodkind. Putnam, $27.95 (512p) ISBN 978-0-399-15604-5

Bestseller Goodkind (Confessor) ventures into thriller territory with results sure to please fans of his fantasy fiction. In the opening pages, Alex Rahl, the book’s unwitting hero, saves the beautiful Jax from being run down on the street in Orden, Neb., by a plumbing truck flying a pirate flag. Jax, who turns out to be from an alternate reality where evildoers are attempting to seize control of her civilization, has traveled to Nebraska to seek Alex’s help in saving her people. In Jax’s world, magic takes the place of technology, but on earth she’s stripped of her powers and forced to fight armed with only her trusty dagger. The author takes his time setting all this up, but once the story gets rolling, it’s a gripping ride as the bad guys whoosh in between their world, which remains unseen, and ours. Fantasy and thriller readers alike will find themselves swept along to the final confrontation and looking forward to the next installment. (Sept.)

Oh, oh dear. Alex Rahl? Orden, Nebraska? Pirate plumbers?! This is all starting to sound terrifyingly familiar... well, except for the pirate plumbers part. Let's read the first chapter, shall we?
Amazon.com wrote:
Spoiler:

You had me at the first sentence, Terry. Pirate flags and plumbing trucks, my god I've never read a more intoxicating first sentence! Where can I sign up?

Also, the first five chapters are apparently available here. I'm reading now, with tremendous dread.

Surely this will be excellent writing.
"He was glad to be away from the pirate plumbers. They looked to have developed a grudge."
"When he spoke to her she met his gaze with with a focused involvement that was respectful and interested. He couldn't imagine this woman ever sending him a text message."

Reviews!
Spoiler:
Spoiler:

Watch this because it's awesome, they made a video of (presumably) a scene from the book where teleporting stealth pirate plumbers attack Alex and Jax at Alex's house. Jax flips out and breaks all the mirrors, Alex drives a shitty truck, and WOAH THIS CAR IS GOING SO FAST CAN YOU SLOW IT DOWN?

[URL="[url]http://www.terrygoodkind.com/thelawofnines.html[/url]"]Coming soon to HBO, since we're all sinners and deserve more punishment.[/URL]

The man is a cesspool of delusional thought.
Spoiler:

More interviews with Terry;
Spoiler:

Rius on
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Posts

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    what the hell is going on

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It's been said before, and I'll repeat the sentiment

    The wrong fantasy author named Terry wound up with Alzheimer's

    zw3k8eu.gif
  • RiusRius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    More good stuff!
    In this thriller from Goodkind, a man named Alex Rahl, hardworking artist, blameless citizen of a nice little Nebraska town, is about to turn 27 in a most memorable way. In the process, he will encounter an Alex he never would have believed possible, discovering things about himself, his lineage, the world he inhabits-and the alternative one he doesn't-that will prove dramatically transformative. Consider his name. As series buffs know, it's one to conjure with: Richard, Lord Rahl, is Seeker of Truth, puissant possessor of the eponymous Sword of Truth and, not so incidentally, Alex's antecedent, going back some thousand years. Then there's the fraught numerology of being 27, with all those evocative nines (two plus seven; three times nine). The whole astonishing business begins when Alex saves the life of a strange and, of course, beautiful lady, who undertakes his education. It's through Jax that he first learns of a co-existing world "on the other side of darkness, on the other side of nothing." And it's with her at his side that he battles an assortment of Iago-like bad guys in order to save the world(s). Goodkind departs from his hot-selling Sword of Truth series (Confessor, 2007, etc.), but not entirely.

    Also, the first five chapters are apparently available here. I'm reading now, with tremendous dread.

    Surely this will be excellent writing.
    "He was glad to be away from the pirate plumbers. They looked to have developed a grudge."
    "When he spoke to her she met his gaze with with a focused involvement that was respectful and interested. He couldn't imagine this woman ever sending him a text message."

    Also, in the fifth chapter, we're introduced to Alex's quirky and mysterious grandfather who has something to give to him that he's been destined to receive all his life.

  • UmaroUmaro Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Didn't Stephen King already do this.

    Dogs.jpg
  • YaYaYaYa Rick and Morty forever and ever 100 years! a100timesRickandMorty.comRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I think the most tragic part of this whole thing is that it's a decent idea

    but Goodkind is just the worst writer

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    how much rape is in this

    do not ask for whom the snerd tolls
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2009
    YaYa wrote: »
    I think the most tragic part of this whole thing is that it's a decent idea

    but Goodkind is just the worst writer
    I think even the idea sound crap

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • DubhDubh REBEL REBEL Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    how much rape is in this

    a bit, if i recall correctly

    Thing_zps6acf1883.png <---DE?AD makes games
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    the gang of daggers guy should sue

    this was clearly his idea first

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    EVIL CHICKEN EVIL CHICKEN EVIL CHICKEN EVIL CHICKEN EVIL CHICKEN

  • RiusRius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Fans of Terry Goodkind's hugely popular fantasy series The Sword of Truth have been itching for his new stand-alone novel The Law of Ninesever since word of it leaked earlier this year. Goodkind's publisher, Putnam, is clearly hoping Nines will appeal not only to that core audience but to lovers of thrillers as well. They've even packaged the book as a thriller, complete with nondescript title and plain-Jane black-and-silver jacket.

    Yet what Goodkind has delivered is an odd hybrid, a thriller with heavy doses of fantasy mixed in. On his 27th birthday, Alex Rahl, waiting at a crosswalk, notices a truck flying a pirate's flag barreling straight at him and another pedestrian, an oddly dressed but striking blond woman. He quickly yanks her to safety. Jax, as she's called, turns out to be a human from another planet — one that's embroiled in civil war. And she's come to find Alex because, unbeknownst to him, he's got powers that can help her. Does our hunky hero think she's nuts? No, he thinks she's hot. He begins to take her more seriously, though, after his grandfather hands him a mysterious birthday present: a deed to thousands of acres of land in rural Maine, where, it slowly becomes apparent, there is a gateway — a sort of superhighway between his world and Jax's.

    If it takes a while for Alex — and the reader — to understand what's going on, it's because the writing is blocky and strained, especially during the high-octane scenes of carnage that occur every few pages. (Alex, an artist by trade, quickly morphs into an efficient killing machine.) Despite the rollicking plot, Goodkind just doesn't seem nearly as comfortable in the straight-thriller vein as he does with fantasy. That changes during the final scenes, when he returns to what he knows best and starts to dish up more meaty fantasy. His writing becomes nimble, clear, dimensional.

    So has Goodkind managed to hook all those nonfantasy readers for a sequel that looks sure to come? That's the million-dollar question. From all indications, it looks like it will take place on Goodkind's home turf, the purely imagined world of another planet.

    Awesome.

  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository SKREEEEEOOOONKKKKKK Monster IslandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    I think the most tragic part of this whole thing is that it's a decent idea

    but Goodkind is just the worst writer
    I think even the idea sound crap

    But it's middle america's best nightmare

    bad guys striking at the heartland of the u.s.!

    We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita. Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds'.
  • SithDrummerSithDrummer Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    if a little girl gets kicked in the chest by a grown man over the course of three pages then I am sure as fuck buying this on day one

    It's an easy game to hate
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    EVIL CHICKEN

    EVIL CHICKEN

    EVIL

    CHICKEN

  • RiusRius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It's Evil Plumbers, now, Mori; sorry to disappoint you.

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Man that doesn't have anywhere near the same impact

  • BrogeyBrogey High Maintenance Santa Monica, CASuper Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    how much rape is in this
    Not enough.

    It's never enough.

    Fitocracy: bogey1 Join us in the SE++ group!
    XBox LIVE: Bogestrom
    PSN: Bogestrom

    Wampa Milk lives!!!
  • The Geebs That Got BigtimedThe Geebs That Got Bigtimed Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    I think the most tragic part of this whole thing is that it's a decent idea

    but Goodkind is just the worst writer
    I think even the idea sound crap

    But it's middle america's best nightmare

    bad guys striking at the heartland of the u.s.!

    that god damned middle america!

  • RiusRius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Watch this because it's awesome, they made a video of (presumably) a scene from the book where teleporting stealth pirate plumbers attack Alex and Jax at Alex's house. Jax flips out and breaks all the mirrors, Alex drives a shitty truck, and WOAH THIS CAR IS GOING SO FAST CAN YOU SLOW IT DOWN?

    http://www.terrygoodkind.com/thelawofnines.html

  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    God dammit, I can't believe I used to like Terry Goodkind.

    4484-7718-8470
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository SKREEEEEOOOONKKKKKK Monster IslandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Druhim wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    I think the most tragic part of this whole thing is that it's a decent idea

    but Goodkind is just the worst writer
    I think even the idea sound crap

    But it's middle america's best nightmare

    bad guys striking at the heartland of the u.s.!

    that god damned middle america!

    East Moline is a hotbed of terrorist activity.

    We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita. Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds'.
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Campion wrote: »
    God dammit, I can't believe I used to like Terry Goodkind.

    It's okay

    I used to like RA Salvatore
    Spoiler:

  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2009
  • RiusRius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    The man is a cesspool of delusional thought.
    The Law of Nines" ($27.95, Putnam) hits bookshelves Tuesday, and Goodkind says the novel represents nothing less than "the relaunching of my career in a new direction."

    Goodkind's own plot synopsis: "This guy meets this woman and isn't quite sure if she really exists. He has his own issues because his mother went insane when she was the same age he is now. And, he's met this woman who keeps telling him weird things and turns up missing, and he isn't sure if she exists."

    For Goodkind, the shift from fantasy to thriller isn't as whiplash-inducing as it might appear. That's because Goodkind never saw his "Sword of Truth" series as fantasy, even if booksellers and reviewers -- and maybe even a few readers -- insisted on categorizing it as such.

    "My books have always been aimed at mainstream readers," Goodkind says, and the fantasy-related elements found in them were merely products of "the way I told that story."

    "The story I was telling needed a broad landscape. It needed to be a grand epic. It needed to be that background to tell the story," Goodkind explains. "It was a sweeping epic that needed a sweeping, grand landscape, and it fit very well into the world I wrote it in."

    Now, with "The Law of Nines," Goodkind says, "I'm writing stories about our world."

    He laughs. "I've had enough of scaring people in another world. Now I want to scare people in this world."

    Goodkind isn't worried that longtime readers may be apprehensive about what is, to him, "a natural transition." When Goodkind told his longtime agent of his desire to write a thriller, even the agent countered that many fantasy authors wish to write mainstream books don't quite know how to do it.

    "He said, 'If anyone can do it, you can, but I won't believe you until you can prove it. I wrote him the beginning of two books. He said, 'Why did you write two books?' I said, 'I wanted to prove it to you.' "

    Long story short: "He was really impressed. After he read the final manuscript, after we sold the book, he said to the publisher, 'You got a bargain.' "

    It's "a cool book, an unusual book," Goodkind says. "It isn't the typical police story, it isn't the typical detective story. This is a very unusual story. It's very different. It really is an exciting ride."

    For Goodkind, venturing into new literary territory made for a pretty exciting ride, too.

    "It was like the fun of writing the first book all over again," he says, having "this bright, shiny new thing I got to create.

    "It's the first time we get to meet these characters, and it's our first introduction to the dilemma they face, and it's the first time to tell the reader this entirely new story they've never heard before."

    Actually, and genre switch notwithstanding, longtime fans will recognize Goodkind's voice -- as well as, in what just may be a nod to longtime readers, the protagonist's surname -- in "The Law of Nines."

    "When I was writing 'The Sword of Truth,' I wasn't writing fantasy. I was writing a story about characters in great trouble and characters sharing the same kinds of problems we all have," he says.

    Choosing good. Opposing evil. Making choices and living with the consequences. Overcoming obstacles. All are themes of any good story, regardless of genre, setting or, even, the medium through which they're told.

    So, Goodkind says, writing "The Sword of Truth" -- in which, he says, "the magic was incidental" -- wasn't different from writing "The Law of Nines" because both, at their core, are about "intriguing characters who are in trouble."

  • The Geebs That Got BigtimedThe Geebs That Got Bigtimed Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2009
    Rius wrote: »
    Watch this because it's awesome, they made a video of (presumably) a scene from the book where teleporting stealth pirate plumbers attack Alex and Jax at Alex's house. Jax flips out and breaks all the mirrors, Alex drives a shitty truck, and WOAH THIS CAR IS GOING SO FAST CAN YOU SLOW IT DOWN?

    http://www.terrygoodkind.com/thelawofnines.html

    THE CAR WON'T START

  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2009
    i think i owe it to myself to read one of terry goodkind's books

    just gotta decide which one

  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    geebs where is my Red Rooster/Commandant Gobbledy crossover

    where

  • The Geebs That Got BigtimedThe Geebs That Got Bigtimed Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2009
    sorry tlb but if I wrote it now I'd just be ripping off the law of nines

  • RiusRius Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    More interviews with Terry;
    Terry Goodkind didn't study creative writing in college. He's never participated in any workshops, never enrolled in a master's of fine arts program.

    Goodkind isn't opposed to those sort of things; it's only that he's believes writers are born, not made.

    "I'm convinced it's intuitive," says the bestselling author, who has just released a new novel, "The Law of Nines." "I never did the typical things that a lot of authors sometimes do. I've always told myself stories, and when I sat down and started writing, I was only doing an extension of the process."

    ...

    While Goodkind's goal is to take readers on an adventure, he does not shy away from coloring his stories with his own personal philosophies. In particular, Goodkind is an advocate of technology and an admirer of Ayn Rand, the author of "The Fountainhead." Goodkind considers her to be the most important philosopher since Aristotle.

    While these elements are important, they also have to complement the story.

    "My purpose is not to be preachy," Goodkind says, "My purpose is to make the characters come alive for the readers.

    "The philosophical outlook of a character is critical to me, because it's what makes them whole and what makes them real. To make characters believable, they have to have reasons for doing things. A bank robber has a philosophy that drives him to rob banks. They just don't do things randomly and without reasons, or the reader won't believe it. They have to be heroes or villains for valid reasons."

  • SithDrummerSithDrummer Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I hope that Alex Rahl has a yeard

    It's an easy game to hate
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository SKREEEEEOOOONKKKKKK Monster IslandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Wherein Terry Goodkind divulges he is one of the chosen ones of writing.

    We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita. Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds'.
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    wow that is some terrible writing quoted in the op

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    sorry tlb but if I wrote it now I'd just be ripping off the law of nines

    damn you geebs

    also get turtles in time I wanna play it with you geebs

  • UmaroUmaro Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    In particular, Goodkind is an advocate of technology and an admirer of Ayn Rand, the author of "The Fountainhead." Goodkind considers her to be the most important philosopher since Aristotle.

    WHY did I not know this? It all makes so much sense now.

    Dogs.jpg
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    if nutjobs like he and Dean Koontz can get published and sell books then that is a weight off my shoulders

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    oh and even though the writing is bad, I cannot deny that the first sentence makes me want to read more.

    it's just everything else that sucks hard

  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    wow that is some terrible writing quoted in the op

    hey shanks did you ever put anything on ficly

    I vaguely remember you on there

    chillaxton.jpg
    and I broke parole just to get to you
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This discussion has been closed.