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Long Distance Relationship

4U2NV4U2NV Registered User
edited August 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
Hey all,

What are some good activities / ideas to help get over the distance? My girlfriend and I text each other throughout the day, but I am really not that great on the phone. She wants more interaction with me, as I do with her, but I guess I need some ideas.

I was thinking of maybe skype + maybe watch some TV shows online? Is there a program that does that? Any ideas would be helpful.

We will see each other once a month, until Christmas break when we will probably take a trip somewhere together, so it helps to have concrete dates when we will see each other, but any activities that we could do together over the distance are what I am looking for.

Thanks!

4U2NV on

Posts

  • KealohaKealoha Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    For me, skype has helped a lot. We don't get to do it often because of finding free time at home and whatnot, but getting to see him makes it a lot better than just talking to him. Mind, it's nothing like being with him, but it's still really nice.

    !! ! ! !!
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Sign up for POGO.com. It has a lot of free online games like yahtzee, and scrabble that you two can play together online.

  • AwkAwk Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    WoW was pretty awesome to keep my gf and I interacting with each other, its like chatting but you get to see the other person move around and stuff. Making a rule such as only playing when the two of you are online to stay together and have fun. Be cautious though.

  • LiveWireLiveWire Registered User
    edited August 2009
    I did long-distance for like a year, and one thing that worked great was writing each other letters. Like real letters. Since you're talking on the phone, its gotta be something unique. Props are great.

    Here are some things that I did:
    Photograph of a guy with a cane I kept randomly bumping into around town, with explanation.
    Party favor I found in a box left over from my 11th birthday party, along with a weird story about what happened there.
    A CD containing live versions of some of her favorite songs.
    A leaf from a Ginko tree near my apartment (we went to an artshow once and came close to buying a painting of a ginko leaf).
    An American Chemical Society "Hazardous Materials" sticker that I swiped from my biochemistry lab, with instructions to place it in the most damaging place possible and document it.


    Also it was important that we'd talk a lot about the shows we were watching, so watch the same stuff.
    I would recommend talking at night before bed for as long as you can. It really helps to have something regular and reliable to look depend on each day.

  • EshEsh Sunshine! Kittens! Rainbows! Smiles! Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Awk wrote: »
    WoW was pretty awesome to keep my gf and I interacting with each other, its like chatting but you get to see the other person move around and stuff. Making a rule such as only playing when the two of you are online to stay together and have fun. Be cautious though.

    Until they leave you for a Night Elf Hunter!

    "At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But upon closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo When life gives you lemons... ...eat your delicious lemonsRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Being in a long distance relationship is just like being in any other, just with a lot more suck. So there's no "rules", you just do what works for you. That said, I think it would be impossible without webcams, skype and some kind of additional medium of communication throughout the day (Txting or an IM client if you've both got desk jobs).

    Online games work for me (we play a fair amount of backgammon and chess in real life, and handily both these can be played through Skype).

    Is there some kind of online sync'd TV watching tool out there? This would be very handy.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • EntriechEntriech Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    In my opinion, chatting online (via text) is about the best way of bridging the gap. Provided you're both semi-proficient typists, the pace is more than quick enough when bundled with some other stimulus, without the pressure of being on the phone and filling in gaps in the conversation.

    I'm going to third or fourth playing games online together. It gives you the opportunity to spend extended periods interacting, while also serving up some prompting for subject matter/conversation. Something like an MMO is perfect, and there are even plenty of free ones out there if you don't want to spend a dime. I'd personally recommend Free Realms. It's cutesy, kid-friendly style might appeal to her, and everything is kept simple and easy which is great for a novice gamer. Plus there's a wide variety of different activities you can participate in, so odds are you'll find something you enjoy doing together.

    I'm not sure that watching something 'together' will really do much for you. If what you're watching is any good at all, you're both liable to get engrossed in it, and not much conversation would ensue.

    Gamecenter/Gamertag/Steam ID/PSN: Entriech
    Guild Wars 2: Entriech.3507 | Scythe Gearsnap, Phlork, Irenic
  • QuidQuid The Fifth Horseman Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    That said, I think it would be impossible without webcams, skype and some kind of additional medium of communication throughout the day (Txting or an IM client if you've both got desk jobs).
    My wife and I had the opposite experience and found it much easier to only communicate every few days so we actually had something to talk about for more then ten minutes. Though that doesn't work for everyone. I'll second the online games suggestion though as they can give you both something to do together other than talk.

    PSN: allenquid
  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Is there some kind of online sync'd TV watching tool out there? This would be very handy.

    I actually knew a couple that would watch movies together, though one lived in Ohio and the other in North Carolina... I don't know if they had an actual program/service, or if they were just renting the same movie and starting it at the same time.

    Might be worth checking out.

  • TaranisTaranis Every time I hear this groove, It makes me wanna move.Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    There's always phone sex.:winky:

    / steam profile / mwo handle: calverin /
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  • QuidQuid The Fifth Horseman Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Is there some kind of online sync'd TV watching tool out there? This would be very handy.

    I actually knew a couple that would watch movies together, though one lived in Ohio and the other in North Carolina... I don't know if they had an actual program/service, or if they were just renting the same movie and starting it at the same time.

    Might be worth checking out.
    Oh hey, if you both have 360s, live, and netflix you can watch movies together as a party now.

    PSN: allenquid
  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Quid wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Is there some kind of online sync'd TV watching tool out there? This would be very handy.

    I actually knew a couple that would watch movies together, though one lived in Ohio and the other in North Carolina... I don't know if they had an actual program/service, or if they were just renting the same movie and starting it at the same time.

    Might be worth checking out.
    Oh hey, if you both have 360s, live, and netflix you can watch movies together as a party now.

    Hmm... that could be what they were doing.

  • SolandraSolandra Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I weathered a 3 year long distance relationship reasonably well with a fellow WoW player - we were part of the same raiding guild at the time, and supplemented with the following:

    Last Call of the Day - sometimes a brief recap for each, sometimes a more lengthy conversation - voice contact other than Ventrilo made it special and specific to the relationship. Besides Ventrilo's not always appropriate for :winky:.

    Movie "dates" - if a movie we both wanted to see was coming out, we would occasionally arrange to see it at about the same time, and it would make for good conversation fodder later in the evening.

    Pay attention to what's going on in each other's lives, and act accordingly. While we were dating, I had my tonsils removed, and he made a point of calling in the late afternoon on the day of my surgery, even though I was staying with my parents (they were in town for a wedding). It's a little thing, but it was a big deal at the time.

    We're still good friends, post-relationship, post-WoW, and well into new relationships for both of us.

  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Six pack on a dick Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Quid wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Is there some kind of online sync'd TV watching tool out there? This would be very handy.

    I actually knew a couple that would watch movies together, though one lived in Ohio and the other in North Carolina... I don't know if they had an actual program/service, or if they were just renting the same movie and starting it at the same time.

    Might be worth checking out.
    Oh hey, if you both have 360s, live, and netflix you can watch movies together as a party now.
    Yeah, I was going to mention this. The alternative is renting the same movie, starting it at the same time, and talking on the phone while you watch it. Or doing the same thing with Hulu etc for shows. If you want to get really nerdy you can play chess by mail, each set up a chessboard then snailmail your moves back and forth between each other. Getting something tangible in the mailbox from each other is a little more exciting than an email notification too.

    h1DI1.jpg
    All my fuckin life I lived a normal fuckin life
  • starmanbrandstarmanbrand Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Bookclub it up. Both of you reads the same book, or half a book, whatever. Then you set some time aside to talk about it. If neither of you are great at conversation you can probably use some of the guides from Oprah's book club. I had to do the Road section for school once and the discussion questions were decent.

    camo_sig2.png
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Get a webcam and use skype, from there some people watch tv shows. I never did though.

  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I will warn against "too much" contact. I had a relationship in the past turn sour due to my girlfriend and I communicating through Windows Messenger all day while at work. By the time we got home, there was nothing to talk about.

  • kaliyamakaliyama Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    I will warn against "too much" contact. I had a relationship in the past turn sour due to my girlfriend and I communicating through Windows Messenger all day while at work. By the time we got home, there was nothing to talk about.

    Chanus is totally right (after bickering with him on the health care thread, I feel like I ought to make this very clery). You want to focus on quality of contact, not amount. Being in a long distance relationship is no good. You won't be able to make her totally happy about this, because no amount of distance contact is going to make up for your absence. Is this going to continue on to the forseeable future?

    fwKS7.png?1
  • 4U2NV4U2NV Registered User
    edited August 2009
    kaliyama wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    I will warn against "too much" contact. I had a relationship in the past turn sour due to my girlfriend and I communicating through Windows Messenger all day while at work. By the time we got home, there was nothing to talk about.

    Chanus is totally right (after bickering with him on the health care thread, I feel like I ought to make this very clery). You want to focus on quality of contact, not amount. Being in a long distance relationship is no good. You won't be able to make her totally happy about this, because no amount of distance contact is going to make up for your absence. Is this going to continue on to the forseeable future?

    Yes, but we will be seeing each other once a for 3 -5 days. BUt it will continue on for a while, as I graduated and she has at least 3 semesters left.

    Thanks for the suggestions. I guess the problem is that neither of us are really good on the phone, and our conversations seem to last no more then 10 minutes. She texted me saying she would love to talk for longer, but I am just bad at talking on the phone, and the reason they are 10 minutes long is because after that I feel pressured to make conversation to avoid phone silence.

    I think I will try skype or webcam. I am sending her a package tomorrow.

    She doesn't really play video games that much, so I am not sure how that would work. She does like text twist and scrabble, and halo oddly, but she doesnt have any gaming systems.

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