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It's Like Nothing Ever Changed!

JordynJordyn Registered User regular
edited August 2009 in Singularity Engine++
Do you have a dog, cat, or other pet that is neutered or needs to be neutered? Well if you're gonna take their balls, you should put something there to fill the void!

Neuticles.

They come in a variety of sizes and materials. I suggest the NeuticlesNatural, which most closely replicates the feel of real dog balls (apparently!)

neuticlenatural.jpg

Don't take my word for it!
"I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't know he's missing anything."
Jeff Lane - Oak Park, Il
"Neuticles are just plain neat!"
Rush Limbaugh

There's also merchandise!

Necklaces!
necklaces.jpg

Bathrobes!
robe.jpg

Earrings!
earings01.jpg

And before you ask...
Can Neuticles be implanted in people?

While the material used for Neuticles is FDA approved, a second FDA approval is required by law for each area of the human body an implant is placed. No company, including Neuticles, has FDA approval for solid silicone or polypropylene testicular implants. Neuticles are perfectly safe for pets but cannot legally be used on people.

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Jordyn on
«13

Posts

  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
  • WeaverWeaver It's a bit chilly out. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Jordyn is this the first thread you've ever made?

    Weaver on
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    Steam: weavermatic
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Fuck I made a thread?

    Jordyn on
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    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Why do I get the feeling that "Crooked Joe" is a pseudonym

    to protect his dog's identity

    Butler on
    Letters of Doctor: I write Doctor Who stories and here they are.
    A Word For Everything (2nd Doctor)
    The Intersectors (3rd Doctor)
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2009
    I'll take a baker's dozen

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Why does Rush Limbaugh care about Neuticles?

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    finally, a trucknutz for living things!

    mensch-o-matic on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Jordyn on
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    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    You've got neuticles! Yes you do! Yes you do!

    Butler on
    Letters of Doctor: I write Doctor Who stories and here they are.
    A Word For Everything (2nd Doctor)
    The Intersectors (3rd Doctor)
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Jordyn wrote: »

    I'm kind of glad I finished eating my roasted figs before seeing that video

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • Drew-BDrew-B Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    If I had neuticles I could do things that would really freak out strangers. Like sock myself in the balls.

    That sort of thing.

    Drew-B on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    I'll take a baker's dozen

    but after the first 6 dogs,

    who's gonna use that thirteenth ball?

    #pipe on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    #pipe wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    I'll take a baker's dozen

    but after the first 6 dogs,

    who's gonna use that thirteenth ball?

    Just put it in one of the six and call him "lucky"

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • As7As7 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Heard about these on the radio.

    And apparently lots of people will do things like order the extra large sizes for dogs like chihuahuas.

    As7 on
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  • AntimatterAntimatter Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    #pipe wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    I'll take a baker's dozen

    but after the first 6 dogs,

    who's gonna use that thirteenth ball?

    Just put it in one of the six and call him "lucky"

    niiiiiiiice

    Antimatter on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Butler wrote: »
    You've got neuticles! Yes you do! Yes you do!

    Thing is, that dog seems so fucking happy, I almost have to agree with this fake balls idea.

    I mean they seem to be working pretty well for him.

    Look at how fucking happy he is.

    Jordyn on
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    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    but does it taste the same to a dawg just mindin his business lickin himself?

    lostwords on
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  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Do they make these for Kryptonian dogs.

    I have a friend who needs to know.

    august on
    Pac Man's character is difficult to explain even to the Japanese -- he is an innocent character. He hasn't been educated to discern between good and evil. He acts more like a small child than a grown-up person. Think of him as a child learning in the course of his daily activities. If someone tells him guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns. But he would most probably eat any gun, even the pistols of policemen who need them.
  • As7As7 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Here's what my first post in this thread should have been.

    *Ahem*

    "But can they get their DIGNITY back?"

    As7 on
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  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    but does it taste the same to a dawg just mindin his business lickin himself?

    They're in the sack so I'm guessing it tastes just fine.
    Someone get me a few hundred thousand dollars and I'll do a study.

    George Fornby Grill on
  • Fire TruckFire Truck I love my SELFRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Gettin' some of those earrings

    Gonna go a'courtin'.

    Fire Truck on
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I thought this was going to be the new Fallout thread.

    Synthetic Orange on
    Death to PA.
  • MorgensternMorgenstern Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    What if you only need one?

    Morgenstern on
    “Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I thought this was going to be the new Fallout thread.

    Hey Dogmeat I got you Christmas present.

    august on
    Pac Man's character is difficult to explain even to the Japanese -- he is an innocent character. He hasn't been educated to discern between good and evil. He acts more like a small child than a grown-up person. Think of him as a child learning in the course of his daily activities. If someone tells him guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns. But he would most probably eat any gun, even the pistols of policemen who need them.
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Think of how much marketing money went into thinking of a good name for artificial dog balls

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • NeoTomaNeoToma Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    "Show 'em your neuticles Wiston"

    NeoToma on
  • Drew-BDrew-B Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It's a portmanteau

    Drew-B on
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Think of how much marketing money went into thinking of a good name for artificial dog balls

    I think it's more like one crazy guy.

    august on
    Pac Man's character is difficult to explain even to the Japanese -- he is an innocent character. He hasn't been educated to discern between good and evil. He acts more like a small child than a grown-up person. Think of him as a child learning in the course of his daily activities. If someone tells him guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns. But he would most probably eat any gun, even the pistols of policemen who need them.
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    august wrote: »
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Think of how much marketing money went into thinking of a good name for artificial dog balls

    I think it's more like one crazy guy.

    Rejected names:

    Dogonads
    The RealBall

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MorgensternMorgenstern Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Bowser Balls

    Morgenstern on
    “Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2009
    FrankenBerries

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Dave's Artificial Dog Testicles

    august on
    Pac Man's character is difficult to explain even to the Japanese -- he is an innocent character. He hasn't been educated to discern between good and evil. He acts more like a small child than a grown-up person. Think of him as a child learning in the course of his daily activities. If someone tells him guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns. But he would most probably eat any gun, even the pistols of policemen who need them.
  • maximumzeromaximumzero I...wait, what? New Orleans, LARegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    What the fuck.

    maximumzero on
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  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Kongs

    Raneados on
    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Steve's Artificial Dog Testicles

    august on
    Pac Man's character is difficult to explain even to the Japanese -- he is an innocent character. He hasn't been educated to discern between good and evil. He acts more like a small child than a grown-up person. Think of him as a child learning in the course of his daily activities. If someone tells him guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns. But he would most probably eat any gun, even the pistols of policemen who need them.
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    august wrote: »
    Steve's Artificial Dog Testicles

    Now 50% less toxic!

    Butler on
    Letters of Doctor: I write Doctor Who stories and here they are.
    A Word For Everything (2nd Doctor)
    The Intersectors (3rd Doctor)
  • XheroXhero Registered User
    edited August 2009
    fuckin' FDA

    Xhero on
    readmao.png
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
  • The GeekThe Geek Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2009
    Yeah, people can get Breast Implants, why can't a dude just get bigger nuts for himself?

    040218.JPG

    The Geek on
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    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    because the nuts actually do something

    Raneados on
    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
«13
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