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Complete Failures Of All That Is Logic

2456

Posts

  • AntinumericAntinumeric Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Actually, you know what? I can top you. You might make the argument that those were simply glitches. But this. THIS IS CLEARLY INTENTIONAL.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRVMgTBwg_g&feature=related

    This is possibly the best video ever. I'm in tears with laughter. The way the ball just flies out of those poses cracks me up every time.

    And we never got tired. And we never got old.
    We just ran through the streets forever.
  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Goomba wrote: »
    The application of physics to a living creature is a massive failure in pretty much every game ever made. Almost no games have enemies that are vulnerable to physics before they die. Usually games either make physics effect weapons like explosives pretty much kill everything, or the physics engine is the cornerstone of the gameplay - Force Unleashed, Psi Ops, etc.

    A rocket launcher probably wouldn't hurl a person a hundred feet into the air; it would go through a soft target and explode behind them. If it exploded in them, it would gib them and fling their tattered flesh like confetti. Rocketing a zombie in HL2 was quite jarring and unexpectedly wrong-looking, especially after seeing gibs all over the place in HL1 and its mods.

    One of my beefs is with actual bodily physics of strength, which are of course never depicted realistically because then Superman couldn't lift a plane or a building; he'd just tear right through it. If a super strong protagonist were to, say, uppercut a person in the face, with the same kind of muscle power that could lift a ten-ton vehicle, he wouldn't send them soaring into the distance. He would shatter their skull and pulp their brain.

    It always looks really ridiculous to me when the Hulk punches someone and he flies away.
    I get pretty upset when things in fiction don't work like they do in reality, too. It burns my buns so see the logical fallacy of not having people burst into gore during children's cartoons. >: (

    In fairness, isn't it the case that Hulk et al. are pretty much invariably depicted hitting other superpowered creatures, or guys in fantastical body armour etc.? I can think of a few comics which try to depict this sort of thing semi-realistically, like Garth Ennis' The Boys or Straczynski's Supreme Power, were people get torn to pieces or practically explode when struck by people with super-strength.

  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    One of the great failures of logic is when in fantasy games, you get scantily clad women climbing up the Frozen Mountain of the Ice Lord Snowdragon or somesuch. Put a coat on!

    Speaking of snow, why are people able to jump out of snow as easily as they do on normal ground?
    And ice! My god, ice! Why does it always make people slide forward for long distances? This isn't what ice does. When you jump or walk normally on ice, what happens is very simple: You land on your ass.

  • AntihippyAntihippy Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Fire too.

    Polygons and pixels shrug off burns like nobody else.

    10454_nujabes2.pngPSN: Antiwhippy
  • AiranAiran Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Actually, you know what? I can top you. You might make the argument that those were simply glitches. But this. THIS IS CLEARLY INTENTIONAL.

    (Wow.)

    This is beautiful.

    paDudSig.jpg
  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    guys guys I want more fun stories about dumb stuff that has happened

    enough of this 'games don't model the real world exactly haha!'

    DKFA7.gif
  • RockinXRockinX Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Kor wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    Pokémon. Moves that have 90% accuracy will fail more often than that.

    Hypnosis has 60% accuracy and it just failed 4 out of 5 times in one recent battle I had. It made me lose.

    That might have something to do with your opponents dexterity or something too. I'm not a huge RPG gamer, but it seems to me your opponent's ability to avoid incoming attacks would affect accuracy.

    This is not a factor in Pokémon. Accuracy isn't very accurate unless it's 100%. Bright Powder and Double Team increase evasion, though. And those moves suck so much we don't allow them.

    The only problem here is that humans can't perceive the concept of random.

    A 60% chance doesn't mean that 3 out of 5 times it works, it means that every individual time you have use it, there is a 40% chance of failure.

    See to most humans, if you ask them to randomly spit out 10 numbers between 1 and 10 you'd get

    3,8,7,4,6,1,2,9,10,5.

    Whereas if you ask a computer for the same thing, you're more likely to get:

    2,2,8,9,5,2,3,6,7,5.

    I'm aware of how randomness works, but it's still annoying that you get to fail twice in a row when the move is 90% accurate.

    If you swap the numbers you just said a computer and a human would get you wouldn't be far from truth because it's so random both are likely to get those numbers. Only it's less likely that a human would get two of the same number in a row, unlike the computer's case.

    Pokemon X | Buy Pokemon X (US Version) for Nintendo 3DS (3DS)>
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  • GoombaGoomba __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2009
    RockinX wrote: »
    I'm aware of how randomness works, but it's still annoying that you get to fail twice in a row when the move is 90% accurate.

    If you swap the numbers you just said a computer and a human would get you wouldn't be far from truth because it's so random both are likely to get those numbers. Only it's less likely that a human would get two of the same number in a row, unlike the computer's case.
    It might be annoying but it still happens. That's not the game's fault.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • UncleSporkyUncleSporky Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Kor wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    Pokémon. Moves that have 90% accuracy will fail more often than that.

    Hypnosis has 60% accuracy and it just failed 4 out of 5 times in one recent battle I had. It made me lose.

    That might have something to do with your opponents dexterity or something too. I'm not a huge RPG gamer, but it seems to me your opponent's ability to avoid incoming attacks would affect accuracy.

    This is not a factor in Pokémon. Accuracy isn't very accurate unless it's 100%. Bright Powder and Double Team increase evasion, though. And those moves suck so much we don't allow them.

    The only problem here is that humans can't perceive the concept of random.

    A 60% chance doesn't mean that 3 out of 5 times it works, it means that every individual time you have use it, there is a 40% chance of failure.

    See to most humans, if you ask them to randomly spit out 10 numbers between 1 and 10 you'd get

    3,8,7,4,6,1,2,9,10,5.

    Whereas if you ask a computer for the same thing, you're more likely to get:

    2,2,8,9,5,2,3,6,7,5.

    Doesn't it mean that given a large enough sample size, 60% should emerge from the data?

    A task for pokemon players: tally every success/failure of your % moves and get back to us after a hundred battles. :P

    3DS Friend Code: 0989 - 1731 - 9504
    Nintendo Network ID: unclesporky
  • PunkBoyPunkBoy Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Halo 3's physics engine would sometimes glitch out whenever a character died, leaving them literally stretched out in different directions, or even sometimes flailing wildly in the middle of the air. I was playing a zombie match with some friends, and after I was killed, I saw on my screen my zombie body glitching through the air, slowly approaching my friend who shot me. It was like something out of Silent Hill.

    Steam ID:
    Spoiler:
    The Linecutters Podcast: Your weekly dose of nerd! Tune in for the live broadcast every Wednesday at 7 PM EST, only at www.non-productive.com!
  • RockinXRockinX Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Kor wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    Pokémon. Moves that have 90% accuracy will fail more often than that.

    Hypnosis has 60% accuracy and it just failed 4 out of 5 times in one recent battle I had. It made me lose.

    That might have something to do with your opponents dexterity or something too. I'm not a huge RPG gamer, but it seems to me your opponent's ability to avoid incoming attacks would affect accuracy.

    This is not a factor in Pokémon. Accuracy isn't very accurate unless it's 100%. Bright Powder and Double Team increase evasion, though. And those moves suck so much we don't allow them.

    The only problem here is that humans can't perceive the concept of random.

    A 60% chance doesn't mean that 3 out of 5 times it works, it means that every individual time you have use it, there is a 40% chance of failure.

    See to most humans, if you ask them to randomly spit out 10 numbers between 1 and 10 you'd get

    3,8,7,4,6,1,2,9,10,5.

    Whereas if you ask a computer for the same thing, you're more likely to get:

    2,2,8,9,5,2,3,6,7,5.

    Doesn't it mean that given a large enough sample size, 60% should emerge from the data?

    A task for pokemon players: tally every success/failure of your % moves and get back to us after a hundred battles. :P
    I suggested that it no one wants to do that.

    Pokemon X | Buy Pokemon X (US Version) for Nintendo 3DS (3DS)>
    NNID: RockinX. 3DS FC: 2148-9166-6811. In-game name: アルヘニス. SV: 2746
    Free flawless Dittos
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Juggling in fighting games is pretty illogical. On a similar note, it's amusing in its ridiculousness how in Titan Quest, depending on how much you overkill enemies, they get launched more into the air.

    I've sent monsters flying a good 300 feet using certain abilities. If you activate a Battle Shrine and have some melee buffs on you, there's a good chance you won't see them ever again. Works especially well with Mynads, which I've launched over buildings and tall rocks.

    JKKaAGp.png
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Oh, and Painkiller has terrible physics. One time I activated Haste right as the third boss smacked me with his hammer, which somehow sent me into the air for about 2 or 3 minutes - I got so high that I somehow died before I even hit the ground.

    JKKaAGp.png
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Heard about this on conservative radio:Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Anyone else play Haggleman 3 in Retro Game Challenge? There are two items that allow your character to high jump and to glide through the air. When you have them both equipped and are attacked by an enemy, though, you can easily sail a screen and a half back even from the weakest of attacks.

    I fell into a dozen bottomless pits when I had Hover equipped because an ant sneezed in my direction.

    easybossfight_zps4752c132.gif
  • BlitzAce1981BlitzAce1981 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    Hell, tekken 5 man.

    The endings are the best thing about the game.
    SPINNING BIRD KICK! and she's upside down.

    And sumo wreslers who can turn into missles.

    I put the Tekken games between 3 and 4 out of 10 on the weirdo scale (which is not a statement on their quality as games, of course). The only ending I remember, I'm ashamed to say, is one of the male fighters (I want to say Dilbert's boss' son) waking up and burying his head in a female fighters' cleavage.

    Again, fighting games are weird. Even the less weird ones.

    That would be Asuka's ending, featuring Jin "Cleavage Examiner" Kazama. You know what makes it worse?
    Spoiler:

    The only failure I can think of is how, in Ridge Racer 7, if you drift off the top of the raised bridge on Southbay Docks just right, you'll drop to the ground as if you have the Downforce plug-in i.e. you drop like a stone and lose far less speed. If you don't do it right, however, you end up getting 10 seconds of air-time, and most likely cross the finish line before touching the ground.

    leonroughdividesig.jpg
    PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 XBL - BlitzAce1981 FFXIV - Raiden Solitaire (Sargatanas)
  • AntihippyAntihippy Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
  • LamoidLamoid Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    Womanizing? The only woman I've seen with Slayer is his wife Sharon.

    Though that's probably because most women probably wouldn't survive being completely drained of blood.

    That's the douchebag part.

    EDIT: Speaking of vampire, I'm kind of surprised no one has brought up Metal Gear Solid....extremely weird given it's attempt at a 'realistic' (or, in some cases, historically reconcilable?) setting. Really, what was Kojima's deal with people getting their junk cupped?
    Spoiler:

    Oh my God I have been looking for this forever.

    Where is the wonderful, wonderful site where the whole thing is kept?

    Laymoid.gif
  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Antihippy wrote: »

    I've been trying to figure out where this horrible, horrible screenshot came from for ages:

    dino01.jpg

    I'm not sure my life is any better from finally figuring it out.

  • UncleSporkyUncleSporky Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Lamoid wrote: »
    Oh my God I have been looking for this forever.

    Where is the wonderful, wonderful site where the whole thing is kept?

    Hiimdaisy!

    3DS Friend Code: 0989 - 1731 - 9504
    Nintendo Network ID: unclesporky
  • LamoidLamoid Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Lamoid wrote: »
    Oh my God I have been looking for this forever.

    Where is the wonderful, wonderful site where the whole thing is kept?

    Hiimdaisy!

    Thank you, sir!

    Laymoid.gif
  • manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Wouldn't most logical games be profoundly unfun to play?

    I mean, sure, knocking a bad guy thirty feet into the air with a shotgun won't happen in real life, that's why it's awesome.

  • KorKor Known to detonate from time to time Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    RockinX wrote: »
    Kor wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    RockinX wrote: »
    Pokémon. Moves that have 90% accuracy will fail more often than that.

    Hypnosis has 60% accuracy and it just failed 4 out of 5 times in one recent battle I had. It made me lose.

    That might have something to do with your opponents dexterity or something too. I'm not a huge RPG gamer, but it seems to me your opponent's ability to avoid incoming attacks would affect accuracy.

    This is not a factor in Pokémon. Accuracy isn't very accurate unless it's 100%. Bright Powder and Double Team increase evasion, though. And those moves suck so much we don't allow them.

    The only problem here is that humans can't perceive the concept of random.

    A 60% chance doesn't mean that 3 out of 5 times it works, it means that every individual time you have use it, there is a 40% chance of failure.

    See to most humans, if you ask them to randomly spit out 10 numbers between 1 and 10 you'd get

    3,8,7,4,6,1,2,9,10,5.

    Whereas if you ask a computer for the same thing, you're more likely to get:

    2,2,8,9,5,2,3,6,7,5.

    Doesn't it mean that given a large enough sample size, 60% should emerge from the data?

    A task for pokemon players: tally every success/failure of your % moves and get back to us after a hundred battles. :P
    I suggested that it no one wants to do that.

    Probably because they see it as a waste of time, assuming that over a large enough testing field, you'll wind up with the numbers that the developers told you it was to begin with.

    DS Code: 3050-7671-2707
    Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
  • darleysamdarleysam Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Gosling wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    To be fair she is indestructible.

    Not even eddie can touch her I think.

    Anyway, back to games that has no logic.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA9txda3FdM
    Was... was that... consensual?

    It's like The Exorcist.

    It's like the sped-up results of a Toribash match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder.

  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Wouldn't most logical games be profoundly unfun to play?

    I mean, sure, knocking a bad guy thirty feet into the air with a shotgun won't happen in real life, that's why it's awesome.

    It's fun when it happens in Saint's Row 2.

    It's ridiculous and immersion-breaking when it happens in Fallout 3.

  • Erich ZahnErich Zahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    Juggling in fighting games is pretty illogical. .

    You could say that about launching balls of energy.

    And guile's hair.

    There are multiple levels of weird for fighting games.

    It goes from "Fighting tournament, girls are stacked" to "Everyone hates eachother, oh, and the girls are totally stacked" to "Dilbert's boss got killed by a robot! Oh, and the girls are totally stacked" to "We must retrieve a possessed demonic sword with a gigantic blinking eye, again, before the Renaissance hits--oh, and did we mention the gigantic boobs?"

    In approximate order from weird to weirder. Throw in some people who turn into animals or something.

    Though I can't imagine it any other way.

    I remember the least weird fighting game I ever played.

    It had bullets.

    Main character bitched about the gay-ass bloodsports he was participating in(not a real quote), killed the dude responsible for it, and went off with those of his fellows he convinced not to fight(ie, people you beat using your fists)

    It was weird because fucking LOCATIONAL DAMAGE AND GUNS IN A FIGHTING GAME, in the same way that playing Dark Sun:Shattered Lands/X-Com is weird for people who spent sixty dollars on Oblivion/gay RTwP "Strategy" game.

    If someone could name this game I would thank them.

  • Johnny ChopsockyJohnny Chopsocky Scootaloo! We have to cook! Grillin' HaysenburgersRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    Hell, tekken 5 man.

    The endings are the best thing about the game.
    SPINNING BIRD KICK! and she's upside down.

    And sumo wreslers who can turn into missles.

    I put the Tekken games between 3 and 4 out of 10 on the weirdo scale (which is not a statement on their quality as games, of course). The only ending I remember, I'm ashamed to say, is one of the male fighters (I want to say Dilbert's boss' son) waking up and burying his head in a female fighters' cleavage.

    Again, fighting games are weird. Even the less weird ones.

    Tekken 5's endings are magical.

    Pure insane magic

    ygPIJ.gif
    Steam ID XBL: JohnnyChopsocky PSN:Stud_Beefpile WiiU:JohnnyChopsocky
  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    edited May 2009

    Tekken 5's endings are magical.

    Damn.

    Usually, when the Japanese do crazy stuff, it's just stupid. But sometimes they get it juuuuust right.
    Spoiler:

    PAJoe_zpsc20d21e8.jpg
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited May 2009

    Tekken 5's endings are magical.

    Damn.

    Usually, when the Japanese do crazy stuff, it's just stupid. But sometimes they get it juuuuust right.
    Spoiler:

    This is the best videogame ending that ever existed.

  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    Hell, tekken 5 man.

    The endings are the best thing about the game.
    SPINNING BIRD KICK! and she's upside down.

    And sumo wreslers who can turn into missles.

    I put the Tekken games between 3 and 4 out of 10 on the weirdo scale (which is not a statement on their quality as games, of course). The only ending I remember, I'm ashamed to say, is one of the male fighters (I want to say Dilbert's boss' son) waking up and burying his head in a female fighters' cleavage.

    Again, fighting games are weird. Even the less weird ones.

    Tekken 5's endings are magical.

    The whole game is magical. I mean, kangaroos and pandas? Invisible dinosaurs? Granted, that was the really crappy movie, but that ratchets the weird up to 8, easy.
    Ed321 wrote: »
    Wouldn't most logical games be profoundly unfun to play?

    I mean, sure, knocking a bad guy thirty feet into the air with a shotgun won't happen in real life, that's why it's awesome.

    It's fun when it happens in Saint's Row 2.

    It's ridiculous and immersion-breaking when it happens in Fallout 3.

    Contrary to popular belief and the TTGL School of Thought, ridiculous is not always immediately and totally awesome.

    It is, frequently, but it must work with the rest of the elements in the game. Otherwise, every game would just be an unending ride of the same ridiculous, over-the-top events over and over again, and they'd all sell fantastically well. It's about striking a right balance. Same thing for logical games (of course, a lot of people, myself included, enjoy simulators, which are both profoundly logical--if done right--and more immersive than any game where you punch someone into the troposphere).

    [/pointless opinionated diatribe]

    The most painfully awkward 10 seconds ever. Or at least in Tekken.

    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    The falling rock does it all for me. This is incredible. I need to check out those Tekken games.

  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I hated that final boss so fucking much.

    "Hay guys, the bosses of our last few games were pretty weak. Let's make this one the most spectacularly irritating thing in the world!"

  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I hated that final boss so fucking much.

    "Hay guys, the bosses of our last few games were pretty weak. Let's make this one the most spectacularly irritating thing in the world!"

    KOF Boss Syndrome. DOA4 pulled it as well.

    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Tighter than R. Kelly in his teens. Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Doom 3 had a similar problem as I recall. You shoot a Hell Knight 4 times with a Rocket Launcher, and he just keeps walking forward barely reacting to the shot. You take that 5th shot though, and he goes FLYING across the room like he'd been hit by a train. Always funny to see.
    I recall Revolution X famously had this same problem, wherein bad guys would take several explosive rounds directly to the sack and not even flinch.

    It also took about seven-hundred-thousand bullets to take down a poorly armored school bus.

    Music is the weapon.

    They're gonna bury you, they're gonna finish. They're gonna stand 'em up six by six by six.
  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Whoever makes those Tekken clips needs to quit making them for games and make a whole damn series or something. That's just pure gold.

    PAJoe_zpsc20d21e8.jpg
  • KastanjKastanj __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2009
    Jumping straight out of water; water and jumping does not work this way!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Rodent242Rodent242 Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Holy crap. I own Tekken 5 but for some reason they strike me as so much more fun to watch now that I don't have to beat the damn boss to see them.

    LIVE: Nitzer 24 , CO: @Rodent, Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Rodent242/
  • KastanjKastanj __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2009
    Regenerating health by standing still and not being pumped full of lead for 15 seconds consecutively.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Kastanj wrote: »
    Regenerating health by standing still and not being pumped full of lead for 15 seconds consecutively.

    That, and absorbing health through contact between your feet and plastic-encased first-aid kits. :winky:

    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Hulk SMASH but Hulk also doesn't want to draw criticism from parents' groups.

    This made me giggle...mainly because I pictured the hulk himself saying it...teehee

  • IgortIgort Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Lamoid wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Antihippy wrote: »
    Womanizing? The only woman I've seen with Slayer is his wife Sharon.

    Though that's probably because most women probably wouldn't survive being completely drained of blood.

    That's the douchebag part.

    EDIT: Speaking of vampire, I'm kind of surprised no one has brought up Metal Gear Solid....extremely weird given it's attempt at a 'realistic' (or, in some cases, historically reconcilable?) setting. Really, what was Kojima's deal with people getting their junk cupped?
    Spoiler:

    Oh my God I have been looking for this forever.

    Where is the wonderful, wonderful site where the whole thing is kept?

    http://hiimdaisy.livejournal.com/

    Speaking of Metal Gear, and I hope this fits in with the topic, there's a sequence in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake that still baffles the ever loving shit out of me.

    There's a sequence where you have to hang glide over a chasm to get to a bulding to the north, however you can only use the hang-glider if the wind is blowing North. But the wind is constantly blowing South. So what do you have to do to get the wind to blow North?

    Smoke some cigarettes. You have to smoke cigarettes to change the wind direction.

    What's worse is there is literally no indication, ever, that this is what you have to do to change the wind direction.

    worldorder_zpse336707a.jpg
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