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I don't know if this is true or not, as the source looks kind of dubious. But still, this is a cool story.
Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.
After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.
On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.
The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.
Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”
“Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
“Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
Was her drive-way facing the street? Or did it go behind her house?
What the fuck is going on here?
“Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
“Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.” - Loren Eiseley
I like to pretend the exclamation points are little speed bumps in the sentence.
I read that as WTF bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump who puts a fucking jackhammer in their fuckin vagina buppitabuppitabuppitabuppitabuppitabuppita some people are fucked up buppabuppabuppabuppabuppabuppa
It made it much more fun.
Steam - Talon Valdez : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk
I use the Terry Pratchett Exclamation Mark Sanity Gage: the more a person use, the more mentally unstable he is. Most use 1. Excited or distraught people may sometimes use 2. 3 is for the seriously disturbed. 4 or above are reserved for the criminally insane.
Posts
HAMMER TIME.
Twatter - Last.FM
STOP
THREAD OVER
What a legacy
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oh
wait
Steam | Wishlist | Hail Satan | Art Blog
I've seen some sex machines on the internet that look roughly equivalent to jackhammers
google the thrill hammer
What the fuck is going on here?
OH OH OH OHOHOH OH OH OH
didn't Oprah kill that one
steam || twitter || tumblr || twitch.tv
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Goddamn he was the nerdiest looking dude
as long as scrubs is still on television, it will never die
it's not only getting another season, it's syndicated on like seven different channels
But now, well, after Mr. Hands...
1.
tyler, on May 7th, 2009 at 1:17 pm Said:
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! who puts a fucking jackhammer in their fuckin vagina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! some people are fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
It's like they're a whole new level of excited
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I read that as WTF bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump who puts a fucking jackhammer in their fuckin vagina buppitabuppitabuppitabuppitabuppitabuppita some people are fucked up buppabuppabuppabuppabuppabuppa
It made it much more fun.
Steam - Talon Valdez : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk
I hate that too
It makes it seem like you're going "fuck you guy answer my question jerk"
mysst: really?? doesn't that just make you want to kill him??
(my roommate intentionally does that to me because it bothers me just as much.)