The Witcher II!
The Witcher is a role playing game that puts you in the leather boots of one Geralt. Geralt has a few problems:
- He lost his memory
- Everyone hates him
- His way of living is being threatened by various forces
- His friends are in trouble
Luckily, Geralt also has a few good things going for him:
- Every woman wants to fuck him
- He can decapitate bitches like it's no one's business
- He can set bitches on fire
- He can diss bitches
- His friends have roughly similar skills.
Here is he posing:
Geralt is a witcher, a special sort of being that has been enhanced by all sorts of magic and SCIENCE to be the ultimate monster slayer. His job description states that he is supposed to protect humanity. However, humanity is a bunch of murderous assholes. As with most RPGs you get kicked into this world, have to make moral decisions and gain levels.
What makes this game special is that its moral decisions are - on average - horrible moral dilemmas. You have to make your decisions based on limited information and that often leads to a realization somewhere down the line that you helped torch down an orphanage. Also: there is no clear good/evil scenario, just like real life, there's all sorts of shades of grey.
Combat is more fun than your average RPG: instead of *click* *watch your guy kill other guy* *click* you'll have to time your attacks, pull off combos and switch between fighting styles. To make this easier you can pause the game at any time.
The Witcher is a great game, critics loved it, fans love it and most importantly: the developer, CD Projekt Red, loves the game and its fans. The original version of the game had its problems, so the developer decided to release a huge extended edition and gave it away for free. It contained tons of new dialogue, various bug fixes, slight changes to make the story flow better and the complete soundtrack and a 'music inspired by...' all packed together in one huge patch.
As if this is not enough, they have now also released a new big patch, years after the game went live, to further upgrade their game. They have even removed the DRM on this, because they figured it's pretty damned useless by now. The industry can learn from these guys.
Note to our American friends: the original game was censored to get through the biblehumping/prude/retarded rating systems you folks have in place. However, with this latest version they decided to do away with all the censorship and release the game in all it's soft-porn, profanity spewing, gore-y goodness onto the American countryside.
Note to our console-playing friends: at first there were plans to release a refurbished version of this game to PS3 and Xbox, but the company that was supposed to make this happen cocked some things up and the financial crisis didn't help either, so it got tossed into the freezer indefinitely.
Links to patches. To install you need to register your game on their website:
Finding 1.4 is as easy as going to this page
. (this is the version you have when you buy the Enhanced Edition)
Then you go to this page
and download 1.5. (this is the version you have when you buy the Director's Cut)
Then, for the boobies, you go to this page
has all patches available as well.
Enough dwarfshit, screenshots and videos: