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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories

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Posts

  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Sheep wrote: »
    Your definition of Army Whore differs from the one I know.

    Most of the few that I know are just chicks that take their time in the service pretty much making the rounds with whoever. Most of them had husbands.

    Had.

    Yeah, I deleted that from my original post. Mom had a different term for them as well, and we had Navy-Hos as well which were the same as mention, but damn if I can remember what she called them.

    newSig.jpg
  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Either im going crazy or just going crazy, but i could swear in that story about incest no-no suppository horriblyness, it was explicitly stated that the GF wasn't into sex. Religous and what not.

    Then there is talk about the guy being too big for her lady-parts if not excited enough (a problem I can relate to with the current gf), but how did no sex become......sex?

    Or, as i alluded to before, am i going crazy?

  • GammarahGammarah Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    joshua1 wrote: »
    Either im going crazy or just going crazy, but i could swear in that story about incest no-no suppository horriblyness, it was explicitly stated that the GF wasn't into sex. Religous and what not.

    Then there is talk about the guy being too big for her lady-parts if not excited enough (a problem I can relate to with the current gf), but how did no sex become......sex?

    Or, as i alluded to before, am i going crazy?

    She was into anal.

  • SkannerJATSkannerJAT Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nocren wrote: »
    Sheep wrote: »
    Your definition of Army Whore differs from the one I know.

    Most of the few that I know are just chicks that take their time in the service pretty much making the rounds with whoever. Most of them had husbands.

    Had.

    Yeah, I deleted that from my original post. Mom had a different term for them as well, and we had Navy-Hos as well which were the same as mention, but damn if I can remember what she called them.

    Reminds me of the old joke.

    What do you call a woman in the Navy?
    Spoiler:
    What do you call a woman in the Air Force?
    Spoiler:
    What do you call a woman in the Army?
    Spoiler:
    What do you call a woman in the Marines?
    Spoiler:

  • CptHamiltonCptHamilton Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    joshua1 wrote: »
    Either im going crazy or just going crazy, but i could swear in that story about incest no-no suppository horriblyness, it was explicitly stated that the GF wasn't into sex. Religous and what not.

    Then there is talk about the guy being too big for her lady-parts if not excited enough (a problem I can relate to with the current gf), but how did no sex become......sex?

    Or, as i alluded to before, am i going crazy?

    She had a very strange relationship with sex.

    She would oscillate back and forth between thinking that there was nothing wrong with sex and thinking that sex was wrongbadfun and that any pre-marital sex was Evil. Probably 70% of the times that we did have sex she would become upset somewhere between immediately afterward and within an hour or so because she felt she'd sinned. Then she would blame me.

    My usual response to this was, "Okay, if you don't feel okay with sex we won't have it."

    That would last for a day or two and then she'd be ready to go again and initiate it. I'd sometimes even ask, "Are you sure? You're not going to get upset after?" It was very strange and stressful. It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.

    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Jesus, people. This thread is like a running gunbattle with stupid bullets.
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.

    You and me both, brother.

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • MT_MaxMT_Max MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    You should have just Houdini'd her or something crazy that way she wouldn't want that anymore and normal sex would be fine.

  • CptHamiltonCptHamilton Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    MT_Max wrote: »
    You should have just Houdini'd her or something crazy that way she wouldn't want that anymore and normal sex would be fine.

    Well, the anal thing was only an issue near the end of the relationship when I discovered the reason behind her fixation. But normal sex pretty much sucked with her even when it wasn't capped off with accusations of attempting to corrupt her immortal soul.

    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Jesus, people. This thread is like a running gunbattle with stupid bullets.
  • MT_MaxMT_Max MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    MT_Max wrote: »
    You should have just Houdini'd her or something crazy that way she wouldn't want that anymore and normal sex would be fine.

    Well, the anal thing was only an issue near the end of the relationship when I discovered the reason behind her fixation. But normal sex pretty much sucked with her even when it wasn't capped off with accusations of attempting to corrupt her immortal soul.

    Just to clarify, did she orgasm during the sessions that she would later blame you for corrupting her? I imagine she did based on the mood change.

  • NamrokNamrok Herndon, VARegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    @CptHamilton: Reminds me of a girl I dated once. Can't recall if I mentioned her already, so to cliff note:

    -Date a girl for 3 or 4 months
    -Sex
    -Refuses to see me again because I came between her and Jesus
    -LULZ

  • CptHamiltonCptHamilton Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    MT_Max wrote: »
    MT_Max wrote: »
    You should have just Houdini'd her or something crazy that way she wouldn't want that anymore and normal sex would be fine.

    Well, the anal thing was only an issue near the end of the relationship when I discovered the reason behind her fixation. But normal sex pretty much sucked with her even when it wasn't capped off with accusations of attempting to corrupt her immortal soul.

    Just to clarify, did she orgasm during the sessions that she would later blame you for corrupting her? I imagine she did based on the mood change.

    Yeah. That girl would orgasm if you looked at her nethers too hard. And I'm about 95% sure she wasn't faking because nobody would have her O-face on purpose.

    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Jesus, people. This thread is like a running gunbattle with stupid bullets.
  • CentipeedCentipeed Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.

    You and me both, brother.

    Wait. You were banging her too, on the side?!

    I write about games at Curiouser.org
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    Centipeed wrote: »
    It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.

    You and me both, brother.

    Wait. You were banging her too, on the side?!

    You mean there's something to bang on the side?! To think, I've been spending all of my time in the middle.

    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • MblackwellMblackwell Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Bolthorn wrote: »
    Duffel wrote: »
    Sadly no, because that would be hilarious. He pretty much exclusively wore band t-shirts of metal bands or gothy button-down shirts. His previous girlfriend was my now-wife's then-best-friend. She was a teacher and would argue with him because she regularly ran into her students' parents when out and about and didn't want to be standing next to a guy wearing a Corpse Sodomy t-shirt or similar.
    At least tell me you'd seen him doing donuts in an abandoned parking lot with the windows rolled down yelling "WHOOOOOO!"

    At least tell me he was into crappy metal.

    This seems pretty redundant.
    Spoiler:

    Hey now. Depending on your definition of metal there are a lot of good metal bands. Even independent of that I like a few metal bands from time to time. Cradle of Filth is always good for a laugh when you're feeling angry, and Dani Filth has a hell of a vocal range. And Meshuggah's Abnegating Cecity is both a cool song name and a decent (for metal, at least) song.

    The only metal I listen to on a regular basis is Metallica's first three albums, Megadeth and Dethklok. I should expand my interests.

    There are only 2 good metal bands: Iron Maiden and Megadeth

    Music: The Rejected Applications | Nintendo Network ID: Mblackwell

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Mblackwell wrote: »
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Gammarah wrote: »
    Bolthorn wrote: »
    Duffel wrote: »
    Sadly no, because that would be hilarious. He pretty much exclusively wore band t-shirts of metal bands or gothy button-down shirts. His previous girlfriend was my now-wife's then-best-friend. She was a teacher and would argue with him because she regularly ran into her students' parents when out and about and didn't want to be standing next to a guy wearing a Corpse Sodomy t-shirt or similar.
    At least tell me you'd seen him doing donuts in an abandoned parking lot with the windows rolled down yelling "WHOOOOOO!"

    At least tell me he was into crappy metal.

    This seems pretty redundant.
    Spoiler:

    Hey now. Depending on your definition of metal there are a lot of good metal bands. Even independent of that I like a few metal bands from time to time. Cradle of Filth is always good for a laugh when you're feeling angry, and Dani Filth has a hell of a vocal range. And Meshuggah's Abnegating Cecity is both a cool song name and a decent (for metal, at least) song.

    The only metal I listen to on a regular basis is Metallica's first three albums, Megadeth and Dethklok. I should expand my interests.

    There are only 3 good metal bands: Iron Maiden and Megadeth and Dethklok.
    Fixed that for you.

  • McDudersteinMcDuderstein Registered User
    edited August 2009
    underdonk wrote: »
    Centipeed wrote: »
    It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.

    You and me both, brother.

    Wait. You were banging her too, on the side?!

    You mean there's something to bang on the side?! To think, I've been spending all of my time in the middle.

    And now I have my sig.

    Spoiler:
  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Tighter than R. Kelly in his teens. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Here's a quick story - not so much about a crazy girlfriend, but a dodged bullet in the same vein. A girl I was "involved with" while dorming it up in college ended up getting all crazy on national television. We were in the same dorm and screwed around a bit. I got an odd vibe from here after awhile and cut it off.

    Anyway, I had the pleasure of going to UCSC while MTV was doing it's frat show. Apparently this girl got all crazy over one of the dudes there. I never saw the episode (sadly), but my friends still give me shit about "that crazy TV chick."

    If anyone cares, here the MTV synopsis my friend e-mailed me with after it went down. The girl in question (obviously) is Sharie:
    Spoiler:

    I'm kind of disappointed I never got to see this, to be honest. If anyone of you internet superheros can dig it up, that would be awesome. But yeah, glad I got out of there when I did.

    They're gonna bury you, they're gonna finish. They're gonna stand 'em up six by six by six.
  • SorcySorcy Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Ok, people, I think you need a bit less of the scary OMFG-religious-anal-alien-BDSM nightmare inducing stories and more of the funny "haha, look at the crazy" stories. Luckily for you I can provide due to my lovely wife.

    No, it's not ironic, I really love her, but she has some crazy in her. First off she is crazy jealous (not the "knifing you in the back and then cooking your rabbit" kind of jealous, just the "if you ever cheat on me I will pull every hair off you one by one" kind) and second of she tends to dream very vividly ... and act on it afterwards. Many a times she has dreamed about me smooching around with other girls and was really angry with me for several hours later, even though she realised it was just a dream.

    Anyhow, one of her crazy antics:

    We were lying in bed, sleeping deeply when suddenly my lovely wife wakes me up.

    Me: Grunnnnn... wha?
    She: Look up there! (we have her bridal bouquet hanging above our bed)
    Me: Wha? What's up there?
    She: Don't you see two shapes?
    Me: Two shapes? What do you mean?
    She: Well, do you see our bouquet and something else?
    Me: Nooooooo? Just our bouquet?!
    She (angrily): Oh forget it.
    Me: ???
    She (sleepily): That's sad ... the poor calve still is hungry (goes right back to sleep)
    Me: WTF?

    The next day she told me she dreamed that we had a calve in our bedroom and that I used my magic (apparently I could do magic) to turn our bouquet into an udder to feed it, but that some men in black came and took the udder away.

    Not crazy enough? Ok ... another night, sleeping like a log, my wife gets up and leaves the bedroom waking me up. That's not unusual, as she sometimes goes to the toilet during the night several times. This time is special, however, as I hear her pull the door closed and turn the key - locking me inside the bedroom.

    Me: Honey?
    She: ....
    Me: What's going on?
    She: (unlocks the door and comes in, angrily); Where is the pillow?
    Me: What pillow? What are you talking about?
    She: (lifts her own pillow and shakes it angrily at me): This is my pillow, where is YOUR pillow?
    Me: Uhm? Right under my head?
    She: Well, okay.
    Me: Sweetheart? Did you just lock me in?
    She: No?
    Me: Yes you did ... could you please tell me what the hell is going on?
    She: Uhm ... I was dreaming that the pillows where evil and that everyone who slept on them was becoming evil, too.
    Me: Oooooooookay. And so you locked me inside here, to perish with those evil pillows?
    She: No?
    Me: Woman, you are insane...

    Honest, let nobody say that I lack entertainment with my wife.

    Ozymandias+X.png
  • MT_MaxMT_Max MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Haha you need to videotape these episodes and YouTube it.

  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Businessman!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Only a matter of time before she snaps and kills you for real.

    steam_sig.png

    I pronounce it bee-log. Most recent entry: VIDEO GAMES: GUNPOINT, OR A SCIENTIFIC STUDY ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GLASS MEETS TROUSERS. 3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    This is a potential Crazy Ex.

    So the past couple weeks I've been talking to this girl. She's got two kids and is just getting out of a bad marriage. Understandably she's a bit cautious of men.

    I figure the odds of this getting serious are pretty slim. So we talk a lot mainly on IM and one day her custom tag says she wants flowers. I figure sure and ask her for her address. It takes her a while to see I'm serious and after a bit of hesitation on her part I sent her the flowers. I figure at the very least I made her week .

    So we're talking and flirting a day or two after and I jokingly ask for a naked picture.

    She complies.

    Twice.

    Now I figure at this point we should at least go on a date. You know meet in person. She's even asked me out so I figure we're on the same page.

    Every time though communications sort of drop off and we never end up meeting. Then she'll text me out of the blue like 3 days later and we'll talk for like 2 hours.

    So at this point I'm a bit wary of what exactly I've gotten into.

  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Man, stay away. That's crazy waiting to happen.

  • DemiurgeDemiurge Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Pfft, go for it. I had MILFs send me nude pictures when I was 16, this can only end well.

    DQ0uv.png 5E984.png
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Man, stay away. That's crazy waiting to happen.


    I want to but these Tits are RUDE.

    Don Rickles Rude.

  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

  • HeirHeir Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    This is a potential Crazy Ex.

    So the past couple weeks I've been talking to this girl. She's got two kids and is just getting out of a bad marriage. Understandably she's a bit cautious of men.

    I figure the odds of this getting serious are pretty slim. So we talk a lot mainly on IM and one day her custom tag says she wants flowers. I figure sure and ask her for her address. It takes her a while to see I'm serious and after a bit of hesitation on her part I sent her the flowers. I figure at the very least I made her week .

    So we're talking and flirting a day or two after and I jokingly ask for a naked picture.

    She complies.

    Twice.

    Now I figure at this point we should at least go on a date. You know meet in person. She's even asked me out so I figure we're on the same page.

    Every time though communications sort of drop off and we never end up meeting. Then she'll text me out of the blue like 3 days later and we'll talk for like 2 hours.

    So at this point I'm a bit wary of what exactly I've gotten into.

    Maybe she's just hesitant because she's a mom and doesn't need to just jump headlong into something by sending nudes to some internet dude?

    camo_sig2.png
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

    Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.

  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2009
    Demiurge wrote: »
    Pfft, go for it. I had MILFs send me nude pictures when I was 16, this can only end well.

    Gotta love em.

    The moment any of you guys hit 21, I'd suggest going to a few singles bars and wait for a MILF to start chatting you up.

    QlBGc.jpg
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I think we need more information to make a judgment call. Pics?

    RichyFlag.gifsig.gif
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Richy wrote: »
    I think we need more information to make a judgment call. Pics?


    I'd prefer she remain anonymous, even with a clothed picture I feel like that would be violating her trust.

  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

    Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.

    Oh, okay.

    The only reason I was suspicious was because she was so evasive about face to face meeting.

  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

    Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.

    Oh, okay.

    The only reason I was suspicious was because she was so evasive about face to face meeting.


    Well her uncle is a Nigerian prince. She has to be careful.

  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

    Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.

    Oh, okay.

    The only reason I was suspicious was because she was so evasive about face to face meeting.


    Well her uncle is a Nigerian prince. She has to be careful.

    Gold

  • MT_MaxMT_Max MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    You need to hit that shit like it owes you money dude! <img class=" title=":mrgreen:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

  • TheMarshalTheMarshal Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Here's a quick story - not so much about a crazy girlfriend, but a dodged bullet in the same vein. A girl I was "involved with" while dorming it up in college ended up getting all crazy on national television. We were in the same dorm and screwed around a bit. I got an odd vibe from here after awhile and cut it off.

    Anyway, I had the pleasure of going to UCSC while MTV was doing it's frat show. Apparently this girl got all crazy over one of the dudes there. I never saw the episode (sadly), but my friends still give me shit about "that crazy TV chick."

    If anyone cares, here the MTV synopsis my friend e-mailed me with after it went down. The girl in question (obviously) is Sharie:
    Spoiler:

    I'm kind of disappointed I never got to see this, to be honest. If anyone of you internet superheros can dig it up, that would be awesome. But yeah, glad I got out of there when I did.

    Was her name actually Sharie? 'Cause I went to UCSC, and had a crazy ex named "Charae", and if that turned out to be her... well, that would just be delicious!

  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Businessman!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    *Crosses fingers*

    Oh please, let the planets align...

    steam_sig.png

    I pronounce it bee-log. Most recent entry: VIDEO GAMES: GUNPOINT, OR A SCIENTIFIC STUDY ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GLASS MEETS TROUSERS. 3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348
  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

    Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.

    Oh, okay.

    The only reason I was suspicious was because she was so evasive about face to face meeting.


    Well her uncle is a Nigerian prince. She has to be careful.

    Win.

    You owe it to yourself to at least try it out!
    Spoiler:

    Paragon wrote: »
    In my dream world I am MacGuyver and I can erect threesomes from stationery supplies.
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But I mean, the pictures might not even be of her. Or they might be old, and she might've let herself go like whoa.

    Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.

    Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.

    Oh, okay.

    The only reason I was suspicious was because she was so evasive about face to face meeting.


    Well her uncle is a Nigerian prince. She has to be careful.

    Win.

    You owe it to yourself to at least try it out!
    Spoiler:


    Well I intended to at least go out with her at least once. I think she's paranoid because the lady who she rents from has some issues with her divorce.

  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Just found this...
    Bitches be crazy...

    Paragon wrote: »
    In my dream world I am MacGuyver and I can erect threesomes from stationery supplies.
  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Businessman!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Just found this...
    Bitches be crazy...

    That's why you don't let the person know where you live (guy or girl, no judging) until AFTER you can be somewhat sure of their sanity.

    steam_sig.png

    I pronounce it bee-log. Most recent entry: VIDEO GAMES: GUNPOINT, OR A SCIENTIFIC STUDY ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GLASS MEETS TROUSERS. 3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348
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