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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories
Posts
Yeah, I deleted that from my original post. Mom had a different term for them as well, and we had Navy-Hos as well which were the same as mention, but damn if I can remember what she called them.
Then there is talk about the guy being too big for her lady-parts if not excited enough (a problem I can relate to with the current gf), but how did no sex become......sex?
Or, as i alluded to before, am i going crazy?
She was into anal.
Reminds me of the old joke.
What do you call a woman in the Navy?
She had a very strange relationship with sex.
She would oscillate back and forth between thinking that there was nothing wrong with sex and thinking that sex was wrongbadfun and that any pre-marital sex was Evil. Probably 70% of the times that we did have sex she would become upset somewhere between immediately afterward and within an hour or so because she felt she'd sinned. Then she would blame me.
My usual response to this was, "Okay, if you don't feel okay with sex we won't have it."
That would last for a day or two and then she'd be ready to go again and initiate it. I'd sometimes even ask, "Are you sure? You're not going to get upset after?" It was very strange and stressful. It took me a while to get my libido back after I got out of that relationship.
You and me both, brother.
Well, the anal thing was only an issue near the end of the relationship when I discovered the reason behind her fixation. But normal sex pretty much sucked with her even when it wasn't capped off with accusations of attempting to corrupt her immortal soul.
Just to clarify, did she orgasm during the sessions that she would later blame you for corrupting her? I imagine she did based on the mood change.
-Date a girl for 3 or 4 months
-Sex
-Refuses to see me again because I came between her and Jesus
-LULZ
Yeah. That girl would orgasm if you looked at her nethers too hard. And I'm about 95% sure she wasn't faking because nobody would have her O-face on purpose.
Wait. You were banging her too, on the side?!
You mean there's something to bang on the side?! To think, I've been spending all of my time in the middle.
There are only 2 good metal bands: Iron Maiden and Megadeth
And now I have my sig.
Anyway, I had the pleasure of going to UCSC while MTV was doing it's frat show. Apparently this girl got all crazy over one of the dudes there. I never saw the episode (sadly), but my friends still give me shit about "that crazy TV chick."
If anyone cares, here the MTV synopsis my friend e-mailed me with after it went down. The girl in question (obviously) is Sharie:
Meanwhile, Robbie's girlfriend, Bernadette, is disturbed by Robbie's living conditions. She is uncomfortable with all the ladies hanging around the house. This is causing Robbie and Bernadette to have problems in their relationship.
Later, Lauren asks Slater if he wants to come to the bedroom with her. Slater agrees and they make their way up the stairs. Sharie notices them going to the bedroom and she races after them. Sharie, Lauren and Slater are now awkwardly hanging out in the bedroom. Slater talks to Sharie and tries to get her to leave but Sharie gives Slater a hard time. Eventually, Sharie splits. Meanwhile, Bernadatte has already left the party. Later on, Robbie gives Bernadette a call. He tells her that they need talk in the morning.
As the party starts to wind down, Lauren asks Slater "how 'bout we do it now," Lauren and Slater enter the boom boom room and get comfortable under the sheets. Unknow to Slater, Sharie is still in the house. While Slater and Lauren are sleeping, Sharie enters the boom boom room. She gets under the sheets and lies next to Slater. Slater tell Sharie to leave. Sharie expresses her anger towards Slater and finally exits the boom boom room.
The next morning, while the pledges are cleaning up the house, Sharie walks in the door. Slater, with hicky marks blazing on his neck, endures a psychotic ranting delivered by Sharie. Sharie says she drove home at 90 miles per hour and realizes that "he is not worth it." Slater tells Sharie that she has to leave. Sharie storms out and the pledges continue with the cleaning.
I'm kind of disappointed I never got to see this, to be honest. If anyone of you internet superheros can dig it up, that would be awesome. But yeah, glad I got out of there when I did.
No, it's not ironic, I really love her, but she has some crazy in her. First off she is crazy jealous (not the "knifing you in the back and then cooking your rabbit" kind of jealous, just the "if you ever cheat on me I will pull every hair off you one by one" kind) and second of she tends to dream very vividly ... and act on it afterwards. Many a times she has dreamed about me smooching around with other girls and was really angry with me for several hours later, even though she realised it was just a dream.
Anyhow, one of her crazy antics:
We were lying in bed, sleeping deeply when suddenly my lovely wife wakes me up.
Me: Grunnnnn... wha?
She: Look up there! (we have her bridal bouquet hanging above our bed)
Me: Wha? What's up there?
She: Don't you see two shapes?
Me: Two shapes? What do you mean?
She: Well, do you see our bouquet and something else?
Me: Nooooooo? Just our bouquet?!
She (angrily): Oh forget it.
Me: ???
She (sleepily): That's sad ... the poor calve still is hungry (goes right back to sleep)
Me: WTF?
The next day she told me she dreamed that we had a calve in our bedroom and that I used my magic (apparently I could do magic) to turn our bouquet into an udder to feed it, but that some men in black came and took the udder away.
Not crazy enough? Ok ... another night, sleeping like a log, my wife gets up and leaves the bedroom waking me up. That's not unusual, as she sometimes goes to the toilet during the night several times. This time is special, however, as I hear her pull the door closed and turn the key - locking me inside the bedroom.
Me: Honey?
She: ....
Me: What's going on?
She: (unlocks the door and comes in, angrily); Where is the pillow?
Me: What pillow? What are you talking about?
She: (lifts her own pillow and shakes it angrily at me): This is my pillow, where is YOUR pillow?
Me: Uhm? Right under my head?
She: Well, okay.
Me: Sweetheart? Did you just lock me in?
She: No?
Me: Yes you did ... could you please tell me what the hell is going on?
She: Uhm ... I was dreaming that the pillows where evil and that everyone who slept on them was becoming evil, too.
Me: Oooooooookay. And so you locked me inside here, to perish with those evil pillows?
She: No?
Me: Woman, you are insane...
Honest, let nobody say that I lack entertainment with my wife.
I pronounce it bee-log.
So the past couple weeks I've been talking to this girl. She's got two kids and is just getting out of a bad marriage. Understandably she's a bit cautious of men.
I figure the odds of this getting serious are pretty slim. So we talk a lot mainly on IM and one day her custom tag says she wants flowers. I figure sure and ask her for her address. It takes her a while to see I'm serious and after a bit of hesitation on her part I sent her the flowers. I figure at the very least I made her week .
So we're talking and flirting a day or two after and I jokingly ask for a naked picture.
She complies.
Twice.
Now I figure at this point we should at least go on a date. You know meet in person. She's even asked me out so I figure we're on the same page.
Every time though communications sort of drop off and we never end up meeting. Then she'll text me out of the blue like 3 days later and we'll talk for like 2 hours.
So at this point I'm a bit wary of what exactly I've gotten into.
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
I want to but these Tits are RUDE.
Don Rickles Rude.
Next time, ask her to get naked with a newspaper from that day.
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
Maybe she's just hesitant because she's a mom and doesn't need to just jump headlong into something by sending nudes to some internet dude?
Well she uploads pics constantly to her myspace page so I know those are legit.
Gotta love em.
The moment any of you guys hit 21, I'd suggest going to a few singles bars and wait for a MILF to start chatting you up.
I'd prefer she remain anonymous, even with a clothed picture I feel like that would be violating her trust.
Oh, okay.
The only reason I was suspicious was because she was so evasive about face to face meeting.
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
Well her uncle is a Nigerian prince. She has to be careful.
Gold
Was her name actually Sharie? 'Cause I went to UCSC, and had a crazy ex named "Charae", and if that turned out to be her... well, that would just be delicious!
Oh please, let the planets align...
I pronounce it bee-log.
Win.
You owe it to yourself to at least try it out!
I'm sure this thread included the "Give me your left eye, also, here's a summer home for you" story.
Aim to beat that.
Well I intended to at least go out with her at least once. I think she's paranoid because the lady who she rents from has some issues with her divorce.
Bitches be crazy...
That's why you don't let the person know where you live (guy or girl, no judging) until AFTER you can be somewhat sure of their sanity.
I pronounce it bee-log.