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Ladies are Emotionally Fragile

DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's DaughterRegistered User regular
edited September 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
Ok, so I'm in need of some lady advice and I'm not even gonna go anonymous for this. I'm gonna put my issues out for everyone to see!

Ok so to give as much info as possible on the situation - A female friend of mine who I hadn't seen in 2 years sent me a text message recently. I remembered really enjoying speaking to her so I said we should hang out. I went to her place and we played some Mario Kart 64 and some other stuff then watched a movie. After the movie we start making out. She gives the whole "Oh my god, we haven't seen each other for 2 years and now were making out, this is crazy!" thing. So a few minutes later she's not wearing any clothes because I have a knack for getting people naked.

Things go extremely well here because I also have some very impressive lady pleasing skills :winky: Note: We covered everything but the home run.

After this I hang out there for a while and head home. I think about the situation and decide while she is a cool girl and a pretty girl, I could not be more than friends with her. Reason for this being as much as I don't mind being friends with people who do drugs I could not date someone that did. At least not more than smoking pot maybe. Also she is moving many states away in a few months so that's another good reason.

The next day I go back over for some more gaming fun. Later that night things got hot and heavy again. I use my impressive skills once again and then we decide to take it further and go for that home run..... But I can't get it up. Now this in and of itself is not the actual problem. Because I can say with much certainty that it is nerves... I just figured that by now my nerves wouldn't get to me in this situation but they did. Now I haven't had sex in a couple months before this and hadn't even wanked it for like a week. So really I shoulda been ready to go but those damn nerves are impressive things and left me high and dry and incredibly frustrated.

And here's where this all comes together. After I left she sends me a text... and thinks it was her. Asking me if I didn't find her attractive and all of that jazz. I kept trying to explain but it doesn't seem like she fully believes that it wasn't her. So I've managed to be blue-balled AND hurt her feelings all at the same time. I don't quite know how to make her feel better about this.

DemonStacey on
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Posts

  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    It's a tough place to be in, and I wish I had some good advice for you, but I've had this happen with a girlfriend, and there's little you can do to assuage their feelings. You can explain to them that despite what they've seen in movies, not all guys are ready all the time for anything and everything, and that sometimes while the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak, and sometimes despite being rearing to go, stress or lack of sleep or the moon not being in the right phase or whatever has just caused it to not happen.

    In some cases, you can just laugh it off and fool around in ways that are plenty entertaining, but if the mood/person isn't able to roll with it well, or they were all "mmmm, cock!" and you were all "Funny you should say that...", sometimes you're just fucked. And not in the good way.

    Obviously you know this, and I know this, but convincing the lady might be another story. Just try to be sincere and clear that you're all about good times with her, and that it's nothing personal. Sometimes the little guy just rebels, and it's not in your control, as much as she and you would like it to be.

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  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Aye. Thanks man. I had actually let the part where I was falling asleep before the whole ordeal slip my mind. I'm sure that didn't help. I'll try to bring that up with her too.

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  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Just call her pretty a lot next time you see her. You're not going to get anywhere trying to force someone to have a positive self-image, and all you can do is actively reinforce it.

  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    Maybe your conscience got the better of you and forbade you to lead the poor girl on any further?

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  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    It's funny you are saying chicks are emotionally fragile yet it's your fragile emotions stopping you from getting the lead out. hehe

    I agree with Sheep. You thought "this girl? not going anywhere." and your dick said "I agree! NEXT!".

    Chanus wrote: »

    Your wang is a better man than you.
  • PracticalProblemSolverPracticalProblemSolver Registered User
    edited September 2009
    what kind of drugs are we talking about here?

  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Never heard of the wang being more morally responsible than the man, but that seems to be the case here. You decided first that you didn't want to pursue this girl, and then second that you'd go give her the old twenty-three-skiddoo anyway.

    Your wang is a better man than you.

    As for how to deal with her... tell her that you don't want a relationship with her. Couch it however you want, but be honest with her.

  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    Never heard of the wang being more morally responsible than the man, but that seems to be the case here. You decided first that you didn't want to pursue this girl, and then second that you'd go give her the old twenty-three-skiddoo anyway.

    Your wang is a better man than you.

    As for how to deal with her... tell her that you don't want a relationship with her. Couch it however you want, but be honest with her.

    Just make sure you're very clear that, even if the relationship does continue, it's just "fuck buddies" not "fuck buddies... with a chance of something more." The latter still counts as leading her on.

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  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    Never heard of the wang being more morally responsible than the man, but that seems to be the case here. You decided first that you didn't want to pursue this girl, and then second that you'd go give her the old twenty-three-skiddoo anyway.

    Your wang is a better man than you.

    As for how to deal with her... tell her that you don't want a relationship with her. Couch it however you want, but be honest with her.

    Thanks for the sig Chanus!

    Chanus wrote: »

    Your wang is a better man than you.
  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    It's funny you are saying chicks are emotionally fragile yet it's your fragile emotions stopping you from getting the lead out. hehe

    I agree with Sheep. You thought "this girl? not going anywhere." and your dick said "I agree! NEXT!".

    Hahaha, yea, but nerves are just an annoyance. I'm don't get all boohoo about it when they act up. So it's kind of a different thing.

    As for my wang be a better man than me... that's awesome. Serious made me laugh. But if me and her are going for a FWB thing... I don't think there is anything amoral about that.

    And someone asked about drugs. Just dropping acid, shrooms and the ol' reefer.

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  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    As for my wang be a better man than me... that's awesome. Serious made me laugh. But if me and her are going for a FWB thing... I don't think there is anything amoral about that.

    As long as you both are clear that is the case, then of course there is nothing amoral about it... but the decision that you don't want a relationship is something she should be told. That's all I meant.

  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I didn't read anything you said...I'm too busy flexing my penis.

    Chanus wrote: »

    Your wang is a better man than you.
  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    Never heard of the wang being more morally responsible than the man, but that seems to be the case here. You decided first that you didn't want to pursue this girl, and then second that you'd go give her the old twenty-three-skiddoo anyway.

    Your wang is a better man than you.

    As for how to deal with her... tell her that you don't want a relationship with her. Couch it however you want, but be honest with her.

    Thanks for the sig Chanus!

    Much obliged.

  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    As for my wang be a better man than me... that's awesome. Serious made me laugh. But if me and her are going for a FWB thing... I don't think there is anything amoral about that.

    As long as you both are clear that is the case, then of course there is nothing amoral about it... but the decision that you don't want a relationship is something she should be told. That's all I meant.

    Oh for sure. I'm totally with you on that one.

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  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I didn't see anything in your story to support this girl being emotionally fragile. As for how to handle it, it doesn't really sound like it needs anymore than has already been thrown out.

  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    But if me and her are going for a FWB thing... I don't think there is anything amoral about that.

    It's completely amoral up to the point where you discuss your intentions.

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  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I didn't see anything in your story to support this girl being emotionally fragile. As for how to handle it, it doesn't really sound like it needs anymore than has already been thrown out.

    I don't mean that in a super cereal way. I just mean how a girls manage to become self-conscience when a dude is the one who had a problem. And then being worried about how it is their fault all day long regardless of what told. That's what I would consider somewhat fragile in the emotions department.

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  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    I didn't see anything in your story to support this girl being emotionally fragile. As for how to handle it, it doesn't really sound like it needs anymore than has already been thrown out.

    I don't mean that in a super cereal way. I just mean how a girls manage to become self-conscience when a dude is the one who had a problem. And then being worried about how it is their fault all day long regardless of what told. That's what I would consider somewhat fragile in the emotions department.

    I'd hardly limit this to women.

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  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    I didn't see anything in your story to support this girl being emotionally fragile. As for how to handle it, it doesn't really sound like it needs anymore than has already been thrown out.

    I don't mean that in a super cereal way. I just mean how a girls manage to become self-conscience when a dude is the one who had a problem. And then being worried about how it is their fault all day long regardless of what told. That's what I would consider somewhat fragile in the emotions department.

    I'd hardly limit this to women.

    I wouldn't either, thus the not SUPER cereal part. But women tend to be more likely? At least that's what I've observed.

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  • ChanusChanus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    I didn't see anything in your story to support this girl being emotionally fragile. As for how to handle it, it doesn't really sound like it needs anymore than has already been thrown out.

    I don't mean that in a super cereal way. I just mean how a girls manage to become self-conscience when a dude is the one who had a problem. And then being worried about how it is their fault all day long regardless of what told. That's what I would consider somewhat fragile in the emotions department.

    I'd hardly limit this to women.

    I wouldn't either, thus the not SUPER cereal part. But women tend to be more likely? At least that's what I've observed.

    Well, I mean, how many times have you not been able to get it up with a dude?

    :P

    (Point being: of course you experience it more from women)

  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    I didn't see anything in your story to support this girl being emotionally fragile. As for how to handle it, it doesn't really sound like it needs anymore than has already been thrown out.

    I don't mean that in a super cereal way. I just mean how a girls manage to become self-conscience when a dude is the one who had a problem. And then being worried about how it is their fault all day long regardless of what told. That's what I would consider somewhat fragile in the emotions department.

    I'd hardly limit this to women.

    I wouldn't either, thus the not SUPER cereal part. But women tend to be more likely? At least that's what I've observed.

    Well, I mean, how many times have you not been able to get it up with a dude?

    :P

    (Point being: of course you experience it more from women)


    Hahahaha. I mean dudes in a similar situation though. Not the exact same one :P

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  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    Hahahaha. I mean dudes in a similar situation though. Not the exact same one :P

    The difference is that men are culturally stereotyped as having dicks that spring into action at the sight of a slipping shoulder strap. Whereas women are either frigid ice queens or amazons that can only be satisfied by a male god, or a vibrator.

    twitter, github, resume/portfolio, if you like to play or host boardgames online, check out handtracker
  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    admanb wrote: »
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    Hahahaha. I mean dudes in a similar situation though. Not the exact same one :P

    The difference is that men are culturally stereotyped as having dicks that spring into action at the sight of a slipping shoulder strap. Whereas women are either frigid ice queens or amazons that can only be satisfied by a male god, or a vibrator.

    Bahahaha, well if nothing else this thread sure has given me a few good laughs.

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  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    If she's this freaked out I'd wonder if something has been said to her in the past to make her think that she's the problem. Some guys are pretty shitty.

  • t_catt11t_catt11 Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Meh, I doubt it. If I ever have that problem, my wife always thinks it is her, despite guys always hitting on her, etc. To my knowlegde, she's never been with a guy who put her down.

    People (and penises) are emotionally fragile.

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  • DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    If she's this freaked out I'd wonder if something has been said to her in the past to make her think that she's the problem. Some guys are pretty shitty.

    Well I brought up the being tired thing earlier to add that to the mix. And she actually did say that it's happened before, but no more detail, and it seemed like that was causing much of the distress... hmmmm...

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  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    DaemonSadi wrote: »
    If she's this freaked out I'd wonder if something has been said to her in the past to make her think that she's the problem. Some guys are pretty shitty.

    Well I brought up the being tired thing earlier to add that to the mix. And she actually did say that it's happened before, but no more detail, and it seemed like that was causing much of the distress... hmmmm...

    Oh, just talk to her.

    I've been here before. In fact, you'll find that almost every dude ever has been in this spot.

    Opening with something like "Hey, I feel kinda bad that..." is a great way to break the ice, especially if you can be rational, mature and actually talk about the problem without resorting to giggling or flowery metaphors.

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