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Assholes at work

HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of AuRegistered User regular
edited March 2007 in Social Entropy++
Why is it that normal people suddenly become giant assholes when it comes to doing mundane things at work. I sit close to a communal microwave, and at least once a week some jackass reheats whatever garbage they plan to ingest that ends up stinking up the entire damn office space.

Today, a double treat. Moron Alpha severely burned a bag of popcorn. I turned it off when it still had 5 minutes left and the burnt smell had reached its nauseating apex. How dare I go to do work and not monitor fucktards and their use of simple electronics.

Now, Moron Beta is reheating fish. Yes fish. Something that really should never be reheated at all, and this asshat is zapping it at high power. It smells like a bait store covered in burnt popcorn wrapped in the human body ovens of Krakow. I might have to cleans the building of all organics.

Share stories or help me plan the elimination of my inconsiderate co-workers. Just get my mind of the stench.

Hunter on
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Posts

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    How about put a sign on the microwave asking people not to leave while warming stuff up and to please mind the smells?

    Weaver on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    my boss calls me from his office ten feet away so he can ask me to page people twenty feet away because he is a lardass

    mrpaku on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Weaver wrote: »
    How about put a sign on the microwave asking people not to leave while warming stuff up and to please mind the smells?

    Did that 4 months ago.

    Also emails

    A memo

    People are inconsiderate jackholes who are too important to not burn food or spill coffee all over the place and leave it, cup and all.

    Hunter on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What type of company do you work for Hunter? Do they also have trouble getting the piss in the urinal and not on the floor?

    Weaver on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    ahhhh man since I'm currently a contractor I don't get to do the lunch with the VP today but instead I'm having drinks with my director and the rest of the team Tuesday which will be way more fun.

    Weaver on
  • taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I remember when a coworker reheated salmon
    salmon

    ...


    Why?

    taoistlumberjak on
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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Weaver wrote: »
    What type of company do you work for Hunter? Do they also have trouble getting the piss in the urinal and not on the floor?

    The problem is I work for a large corporation. I work in Research & Design / Tech Service, but there are sales people, marketing, purchasing, technicians, and others I think just keeping dust off the furniture with their asses.

    They aren't horrible people, but it's like a trigger that goes off in their heads when they're at work. They become instantly stupid and do things here they would never dream of doing in their own home. Like leave 1/8 of an inch of coffee in a pot on a burner all night or leave used tissues on a conference room table. Full tissues. Moist. They're worse then my two year old.

    Hunter on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Right Here, Right Now Drives a BuickModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    tuck some metal out of sight in the microwave. when somebody comes to heat something up, sit back and watch the fireworks

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • AximAxim Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    shit it in the microwave that will show them

    Axim on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What type of industry though?

    Weaver on
  • taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    secretly replace their burnt popcorn with dead baby

    taoistlumberjak on
    grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    For a little while, there was some jerkwad who was obviously some kind of germophobe and would use a paper towel to open the door when exiting the bathroom. The problem was, after opening the door, he would just let the paper towel fall to the ground. My boss actually noticed this too and so a trash can was placed by the door.

    Also, by the end of the day, there is almosst always a giant moat around the sink on the counter. I don't know what these people are doing, but it's like they're cupping their hands and just dumping the water on the sink counter.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • SeñorAmorSeñorAmor !!! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The other night I had a dream that I beat the shit out of my boss.

    Then, either I woke up and had another dream, or it was part of the same dream, but I dreamed that I was talking to my coworkers about having a dream that I beat the shit out of my boss.

    2 dreams or dream within a dream? Who knows?

    SeñorAmor on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Weaver wrote: »
    What type of company do you work for Hunter? Do they also have trouble getting the piss in the urinal and not on the floor?

    They call that anger pissing.

    Darth Waiter on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Seriously people, touching the bathroom door handle isn't gonna kill you. You touch about a million other things every day that are just as germ-infested, if not more.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    My supervisor who is supposed to give me my paycheck today is out.

    I don't hate her, but woman i want my money.

    Faricazy on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Right Here, Right Now Drives a BuickModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    So go find her supervisor and be like "hey, it's payday and I didn't get my check"

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Moe_Fwacky wrote: »
    So go find her supervisor and be like "hey, it's payday and I didn't get my check"

    Or join the rest of us in the 21st century and get direct deposit.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I just started this job.

    I'm an intern.

    I don't have rights.

    Faricazy on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I don't wash my hands after pissing because my junk gets freshly cleaned daily, I don't piss on my hand and we have waterless urinals

    I haven't touched a damn thing that's dirty when I go piss

    Weaver on
  • Frosted ButtsFrosted Butts Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The asshole at my job is the dude who always wants to drink hard liquor at company sponsored drinking events. That asshole is me.

    Frosted Butts on
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  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Right Here, Right Now Drives a BuickModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    You always have the right to your paycheck, if it's payday, then go up there and demand your paycheck, otherwise you'll always be at the bottom rung of the ladder. Don't wait to get paid, go get fucking paid!

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • DynagripDynagrip Break me a million hearts HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    The Geek wrote: »
    Seriously people, touching the bathroom door handle isn't gonna kill you. You touch about a million other things every day that are just as germ-infested, if not more.
    I ain't touching that handle. You can keep your fucking germs to yourself.

    Dynagrip on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    I don't have rights.

    You have the right to get paid on time. If you don't get your check today, take that shit up with the Department of Labor and Industries.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    There is a slight problem about going to her supervisor.

    They're in Britain.

    I work for the American branch of this company and there are only like five people here.

    Faricazy on
  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The Geek wrote: »
    Seriously people, touching the bathroom door handle isn't gonna kill you. You touch about a million other things every day that are just as germ-infested, if not more.

    Hey look at me, I'm the Geek. I'm totally contrary and germ-ridden!

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Manifest wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    Seriously people, touching the bathroom door handle isn't gonna kill you. You touch about a million other things every day that are just as germ-infested, if not more.

    Hey look at me, I'm the Geek. I'm totally contrary and germ-ridden!

    Send me all your gold and stuff in WoW if you're closing your account. I'm cooler then Futility.

    Hunter on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Right Here, Right Now Drives a BuickModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    There is a slight problem about going to her supervisor.

    They're in Britain.

    I work for the American branch of this company and there are only like five people here.

    Then talk to one of them, somebody has your paycheck, go get it, or call your supervisor wherever she is and whatever she's doing and be like "hey bitch, where's my money!"

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I pretty much really like my job.

    Plus I have easy access to the vacuum cleaner and kitchen towel and antiseptic wipes and keyboard cleaners so if I do eat at my desk and drop a few crumbs I can easily clear up.

    Janson on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    Seriously people, touching the bathroom door handle isn't gonna kill you. You touch about a million other things every day that are just as germ-infested, if not more.
    I ain't touching that handle. You can keep your fucking germs to yourself.

    What about the handle on the way in to the bathroom? Or the doorknob to get into the building? Or every single other door opening device that you encounter every goddamned day? Those are no worse.

    How about money, do you ever touch a dollar bill? Or maybe some change.

    What about your shoes? Do you touch your shoes with your hands when you put them on? The shoes that walk around on the dirty ground all day, the dirty ground covered in grime and mud and spit and who knows what else?

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Moe_Fwacky wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    There is a slight problem about going to her supervisor.

    They're in Britain.

    I work for the American branch of this company and there are only like five people here.

    Then talk to one of them, somebody has your paycheck, go get it, or call your supervisor wherever she is and whatever she's doing and be like "hey bitch, where's my money!"
    She has to write it. I'm getting paid by the hour and I have to give her the timesheet that she has to sign and send to Britain or something.

    Woooo

    wooooooooo

    woooooooo :|

    Faricazy on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The Geek wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    Seriously people, touching the bathroom door handle isn't gonna kill you. You touch about a million other things every day that are just as germ-infested, if not more.
    I ain't touching that handle. You can keep your fucking germs to yourself.

    What about the handle on the way in to the bathroom? Or the doorknob to get into the building? Or every single other door opening device that you encounter every goddamned day? Those are no worse.

    How about money, do you ever touch a dollar bill? Or maybe some change.

    What about your shoes? Do you touch your shoes with your hands when you put them on? The shoes that walk around on the dirty ground all day, the dirty ground covered in grime and mud and spit and who knows what else?
    asspennies

    Faricazy on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Moe_Fwacky wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    There is a slight problem about going to her supervisor.

    They're in Britain.

    I work for the American branch of this company and there are only like five people here.

    Then talk to one of them, somebody has your paycheck, go get it, or call your supervisor wherever she is and whatever she's doing and be like "hey bitch, where's my money!"
    She has to write it. I'm getting paid by the hour and I have to give her the timesheet that she has to sign and send to Britain or something.

    Woooo

    wooooooooo

    woooooooo :|

    I'm not kidding. If you don't get your paycheck today, call up your local branch of the Department of Labor and Industries.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Right Here, Right Now Drives a BuickModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    Do what he says, he's right. If she knew she was going to be out today, she should have had you fill out your timesheet early and had that check waiting for you, now either it's there or it's not, and if it's not you call the Dept of L&I. The worst you can do right now is ask somebody what's up with your paycheck though, before you make that call, because on the off chance it's there, you'll save yourself a phone call and some unhappy people later on.

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Don't let that shit fly. Follow up on it yourself, and if that doesn't yield results, you go straight to L&I. Too many employers get away with fucking with their employees' pay because they don't know their rights. I had a little crap job in college that tried to screw me out of overtime. I was having none of that and I let them know.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    How's the site been going, Geek?

    I haven't been visiting.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • WejaWeja Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The Geek wrote: »
    Don't let that shit fly. Follow up on it yourself, and if that doesn't yield results, you go straight to L&I. Too many employers get away with fucking with their employees' pay because they don't know their rights. I had a little crap job in college that tried to screw me out of overtime. I was having none of that and I let them know.


    Too true. Iron out in the beginning that you don't take shit and deserve to get paid on time. Some shit like this snowballs before you know it your turning tricks down the street just to make ends meet.

    If you plan to stay there at all, let them know that they can't pull this kiddie crap with you. This isn't working summers at your dad's bait and tackle store, you are an employee and have rights.

    I've had many a jobs where overtime is crucial and companys LOVE to try and screw you outta that money.

    Weja on
  • Wise_aWise_a Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    You zany british people and your strange superbugs.

    Wise_a on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    How's the site been going, Geek?

    I haven't been visiting.

    Pretty good. Getting more and more hits and downloads. We did an interview with Khoo a few weeks back. That was pretty fun.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • ShimShamShimSham Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I don't have assholes at my job really but I do have some crazy customers.
    (cross posted from my post in the employee lounge)

    I work for a pest control business, and I mostly spray apartments.

    An old lady with smeared lipstick answered the door today when I came by to spray (regular spray, we come by once a month just to do that)

    She told me she had a pest problem. What was this pest?

    She described it as a very large, invisible tree frog that talked to her and followed her around a lot and wouldn't leave her alone. She also said it'd howl at her when it gets mad and that it will regularly fight with her cat, even though there was no cat, animals aren't even allowed at these apartments.

    She said she can hear it walking up the steps to the attic at night, even though there is no accessible attic to these apartments.

    She told me it was hiding while I was there because I was new and even though I was being nice and acting like I believed her, she swore she wasn't mental because, "she seened it"

    I told her I'd spray for it. I don't think she was happy still.

    I can't help it we don't have spray for giant, walking, talking, invisible tree frogs.

    ShimSham on
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This discussion has been closed.