BATTLE CHEF - The New Culinary Colosseum (Chef GladOS vs Chef Clampett Final p12)

Orange Soda · September 2009

Epic!

El Fantastico · September 2009

Posting my chef's bio here in case I miss the opportunity later on because of a myriad of things I need to do today that will prevent me from posting until tomorrow and the call for new chefs goes out later today.

I bring you, Chef Ursus!

Spoiler:

Erandus · September 2009

Howdy, ya'll!

Its been real good cookin' fer ya'll these couple'uh weeks. I'm hopin' muh last meals a gud'un!

We're startin off tuday by throwin out that dang'ed ole seafood fer summa them snails. Ah can't say we cook a whole lotta snails where I'm from so I just sish-kee-bobed it on the carrot 'n cooked the sucker. It din't quite wurk out tha way I wanted, so I figgured everythin's better deep fried. Enjoy!

Spoiler:

Well durn, the snails din't turn out quite how ah wanted 'em. Least they was deep fried 'n edible.

Now, fer the main, I took some bacon for mah pork product, and stuck them 'maters inna that there chicken, then wrapp'd 'em up with the bacon. He was kickin' n' strugglin' pretty good, so i had to hog tie 'em a little. Plus not all uh them 'maters wanted to stay in, so I had ta tie the last one down. Still, I think it's gonna wind up right tastey. Throw summa this down yer neck!

Spoiler:

Daaaaaaamn, that thur is some good eats, huh? Wul, this com-pee-tishun is about wrapped up, so I wanna thank Titus fer havin' us all out here on his fancy flotain' kitchen thinger. And I wants to con-grat-you-late all them other cooks. This were a lotta fun 'n I cant wait to see you all out here fer the next'un.

Now lets wrap up this shin dig with some cap-yoo-chee-no cheese cake 'n get drunk, huh?

Spoiler:

Ya'll come back now, ya hear??

Erandus · September 2009

El Fantastico wrote: »

I bring you, Chef Ursus!

Spoiler:

Hilarity

Spoiler:

This is fucking excellent.

3clipse · September 2009

Erandus wrote: »

El Fantastico wrote: »

I bring you, Chef Ursus!

Spoiler:

Hilarity

Spoiler:

This is fucking excellent.

Agreed.

Draeven · September 2009

I would think Ursus would have a higher seafood rating, i know salmon is a freshwater / saltwater fish but you would think he would lose his shit over some good eats salmon.

El Fantastico · September 2009

It really depends on the region. Mountainous areas provide more vegetation and less actual meat or seafood. In fact, just having done a google search on bear dietary habits, they eat a lot more plants, fruits and nuts than meat depending on the season. I almost feel like I ought to change the scores to give vegetables a higher rating and reduce the 3 meats by 1 if I'm going for a real bear theme.

Of course, I'm sure the bear would prefer meats to plants and fruits, but I think I'll make the change. The dessert score will stand because that's what the scientists used to reward Ursus when he did a good job.

SUPERSUGA · September 2009

THE JUDGING OF OUR FINALISTS

Titus: The moment has come. One chef will be crowned, another banished from the kitchen in shame, forced into Exile on the remote Gastropados islands for six years. Judges... begin.

Starters
Marco: To me the starters were of equal quality, but I have to applaud Chef GladOS for being brave enough to attempt the Sea Urchin.
Wulf: I enjoyed both of these greatly. I hope the other courses aren't this close or else we're going to be unable to call a winner.
Rumi: I'm... so sad this is the last starter. I'm sad but... the food is delicious.

Spoiler:

Main
Marco: I'm not sure what happened with Chef GladOS's meal here. It was ambitious but... this is the final. I expect to have two plates of food infront of me.
Wulf: It's a shame GladOS's meal didn't appear, but Chef Clampett's Chicken was fantastic. The tomato stuffing was the highlight for me.
Rumi: Only one meal? This meal was very delicious. I think he's... going to win.

Spoiler:

Dessert
Marco: Clampett's effort was good, but for me GladOS summed up what this contest should be about. Such an adventurous dish.
Wulf: I loved both desserts... we've got a tough choice ahead of us.
Rumi: This cheesecake was... very good. I liked how... the flavours gave a good finish to this contest. I have very much enjoyed this.

Spoiler:

FINAL JUDGEMENT

Marco: Overall... for me... there's little question. Our Supreme Chef is...

CHEF CLETUS CLAMPETT

CHEF GLADOS IS EXILED FOR SIX YEARS

While Chef GladOS is dismantled by the Kitchen Guards and loaded onto a ship a crown is lowered from the ceiling into Chairman Titus' hands. Chef Clampett approaches him, bowing his head as the delicate crown is lowered onto his head.

Titus: I PRONOUNCE CHEF CLETUS CLAMPETT OUR FIRST SUPREME CHEF!

The crowd roar in approval, truffle-confetti falling from the ceiling as the crowd gradually quieten, awaiting the Supreme Chef's speech...

Daius · September 2009

Boooooooo

Spoiler:

Erandus · September 2009

"*ahem*

.....

... LET'S GO GET DRUNK, YA'LL!!"

Big thanks to Suga for running the competition, and for everyone who played in it. The game's really creative and much more polished up than when Suga first talked us into trying it out in the IRC channel. You should have seen the goddamn calculus equation that used to be required to figure out how many stars you got...

Congrats to Rend for making it clear to the end as well and having a much better character than me.

Thanks!

Orange Soda · September 2009

Thanks for running this. It was fun to make a terrible character and see if I could get anywhere with it.

SUPERSUGA · September 2009

Again, thanks to all who've taken part. I mentioned to the people in the IRC channel that when the writing from the players was so good it helped carry the game when I was unable to write long judging posts myself.

Hope you all enjoyed it!

streever · September 2009

really great stuff sooga! Excellent work.

Iron Weasel · September 2009

I thought this was going to be retarded.

How could one man be so wrong?

I applaud you all.

eatmosushi · September 2009

this thread brought a tear to my eye.

thank you

Rend · September 2009

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Chef GladOS cooking:
I do what I must
because I can.
For the good of all of us,
Except the ones with a pan.

But there's no sense crying over every bad roll,
When invisible castle f***s you in every hole.
And the [strike]Science[/strike] cooking gets done.
And volcanoes are fun
For the people who are still alive!

I'm not even angry,
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart
And killed me.

And threw me to exile!
Not to return for 6 long years.
As they carried me away I was so happy for you!

Now these points of data come together, I say
And the world is perishing
in foam anyway.
So I'm GLaD. I got beat
How's about another treat?
for the people who are still alive!

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to be alone.
Maybe you'll go on to be successful!

Maybe a head chef!
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.

Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking
when there's [strike]Science[/strike] cooking to do.
When I look in there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

I've experiments to run,
And this meat is under done!
In fact it may even be Still Alive!

And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing [strike]Science[/strike] cooking and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE
STILL ALIVE

robp85 · September 2009

Wow. I've been reading this thread since a couple days after it started. It looked like a lot of fun! I was quite impressed with the game play and the characters submitted. Awesome job, everyone!

I actually liked this so much I was thinking about starting a Battle Chef game of my own. If anyone else is starting one, I would like to know so I don't start a game around the same time. Send me a PM please. If I don't hear anything in a few days, I'll try to get one started.

Thanks all for such an entertaining game. Thanks Suga for coming up with this game. It's a lot of fun!

SUPERSUGA · September 2009

I had interest from a couple of people wanting to start a new game, so anyone that wants can pitch their game in this thread. After a couple of days I'll give one of the games my "blessing". While it's not like I can control who runs the game I think it'd be best for everyone if we just had one game going rather than two or three.

El Fantastico · September 2009

Great first run, Soog. It's nice to see this one take off and hopefully keep interest going. Nice twist on the final competition, too.

As for anyone else saying they'd like to run the next Battle Chef, count me in as a contestant, please. Chef Ursus is ready to do battle. I can't promise he won't eat the judges.

robp85 · September 2009

SUPERSUGA wrote: »

I had interest from a couple of people wanting to start a new game, so anyone that wants can pitch their game in this thread. After a couple of days I'll give one of the games my "blessing". While it's not like I can control who runs the game I think it'd be best for everyone if we just had one game going rather than two or three.

I agree. I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I'll keep my eye out for other potential games before making my own.

shalmelo · September 2009

I'll need to read that a little more thoroughly, but at a quick skim-over I really like your ideas, jdarksun, and would be interested in participating.

robp85 · September 2009

Definitely sounds cool. It's better than any ideas I have right now.

SUPERSUGA · September 2009

While it's totally down to whoever runs it to decide on the rules there are a couple of things I've noted with your suggestions, jdarksun, based on previous testing when developing the game.

jdarksun wrote: »

Major Changes

1) The Theme Ingredient will be present in all dishes by utilizing it in its given category.
1a) Ornament and Dessert Side Theme Ingredients also count as Starches.
An obvious problem with this is it makes Starch a much more desirable skill, but less so than if you were using random dishes as standard. It might not be too much of a problem if people are choosing their ingredients themselves.

1b) Exotic Theme Ingredients can be substituted for any other ingredient type.
Depending on how this is implemented I'd be wary of it making Exotic too desirable a skill.

2) The Chefs choose which dishes to prepare. Each dish should contain one or more ingredients from their chosen school.
A problem we had when testing my version of the Iron Chef format was that people would always choose dishes from their school. This may not be a problem but be prepared for your Japanese Chefs to be cooking Beef and Tuna every time.
2a) Desserts are exempt from this.
2b) There is a small penalty for cooking a dish that does not include one or more ingredients from the Chef's chosen school.
For the reasons mentioned above I actually can't see many chefs not using any ingredients from their school, so I'm not sure this rule would serve much purpose. The reward for choosing a school ingredient is already there, do you need a deterrent too?
2c) Chefs will be expected to present at least one Starter, one Main Dish, and one Dessert. Failing to do so will cause a large penalty.
2d) A bonus may be granted to Chefs who present more than three dishes. A small bonus is granted for each extra Starter, and a normal bonus is grated for each extra Main Dish. Extra Desserts yield no bonus. More than two Desserts will cause the Chef to incur penalties.
Sounds good

Example for 1 & 2: Five Star Chef Japanese Yasu Sho is engaged in Battle Quail's Egg. A good Japanese Starter might be Tuna and Quail's Egg, Beef and Quail's Egg, or Chicken and Quail's Egg.

3) "Time" will replace "Plate" as a Preparation Skill. Instead of granting a bonus (or penalty) to the dish's Quality, it affects how long the dish takes to make. No matches increases Preparation Time by Five Minutes, two matches yields no effect, and three matches decreases Preparation Time by Five Minutes.
3a) Starters have a Preparation Time of 10 minutes.
3b) Main Dishes have a Preparation Time of 15 minutes.
3c) Desserts have a Preparation Time of 20 minutes.
I like this idea and it would work well with the Iron Chef format.

4) There will be a Time Limit of One Hour (60 minutes). The Chefs may prepare as many dishes as they wish in the given time limit.
4a) A Chef is not required to present all prepared dishes, but will be given a small penalty for not presenting a prepared dish.

Minor Changes

1) Depending on the level of interest, 4+ Five Star Chefs shall be chosen. These Chefs will then be challenged by the other participants ("Challengers"). Defeating two Five Star Chefs in a row will cause the Challenger to be elevated to a Five Star Chef.
1a) If the Challenger's Chosen School already has a Five Star Chef, one of the battles must be against that Five Star Chef.
1b) A Five Star Chef becomes able to be replaced after losing two Battles in a row.
I think there are some cool ideas here that would be neat for an ongoing game.

I'm not 100% on these changes yet, I have to check a couple bits of math. But it sounds like fun to me! :mrgreen:

And just a couple of other general problems to consider when looking at an Iron Chef format. My attempt at this format in the game doc still suffers from some of these problems, so I'm not claiming to have the answers!

Ingredient Categories, Preparation Skills and Schools are all balanced against eachother, but individual ingredients are not. I don't have the doc to hand but some examples are that things like Lamb and Duck are just better ingredients than some of the other red meats. Be prepared to see some of the ingredients drop out of consideration.
I'd add in some sort of limit for reusing ingredients. Apologies if you've done so already, in which case I didn't notice it. Otherwise your Chinese Chef is going to be serving everything with Duck.

Erandus · September 2009

We fine tuned the rules a lot in the IRC channel to avoid some of the traps you're falling into, jdarksun. You have to be very careful with the "replacing ingredients" rules, or substituting skills. Looking at your proposed rules of being able to freely swap out exotics and things counting as starches and letting chefs pick their own ingredients, every chef would degenerate into "I take skill 8 in exotics and starches and cook the exact same shit every meal."

Also, pushing the theme ingredient into every single dish can really screw some people over. If you have no skill in saucepan or seafood, and a seafood saucepan ingredient gets rolled up as the theme, you really don't even have to bother trying. Just concede and save your time.

Just warning you, you need to be very careful allowing TOO many liberties with the ingredients. If you were to allow people to freely choose ingredients, the risk values would have to go up, especially on the higher flavor foods.

SUPERSUGA · September 2009

To clarify, I think your suggestions do have a lot of potential, you'd just need to tweak a few things here and there to keep things running smoothly.

streever · September 2009

slashnet--#criticalfailures

MrBlarney · September 2009

Hmm, yeah, a -1 Quality for repeating an ingredient between dishes within single battles and consecutive battles might be good to represent disapproval over a lack of creativity. Theme ingredients excepted, of course.

SUPERSUGA · September 2009

Well sounds like it's all yours, jdarksun! I'll be around the IRC channel if you ever want a second opinion to bounce further ideas off. Like Erandus said we tested the rules a lot in there so have a pretty good idea of what would and wouldn't work for the system.

El Fantastico · October 2009

Battle Chef must make a comeback! It muuuust...

streever · October 2009

but veggies were already balanced!

is this a tree off the main branch?

5 Star Chef: Iron Chef: Jdarksun v. 1.23

Erandus · October 2009

If anything, plating actually could have used a boost. There was too much incentive to just put a 3 in it and go flair 1 all the time.

Penny Arcade

BATTLE CHEF - The New Culinary Colosseum (Chef GladOS vs Chef Clampett Final p12)

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