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Strange and Embarrassing Moments: Italy: Land of Homoerotic Escapades

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Posts

  • SkittlebrauSkittlebrau Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I too, have gotten a nosebleed during sex. Thankfully, I was able to finish before the blood started dripping from my nose. She thought it was "cute". I guess there are obviously worse responses out there.

  • MegalomaniageekMegalomaniageek Registered User
    edited September 2009
    admanb wrote: »
    Proving once and for all that Debate & Discourse is the only place where you should go for relationship advice.

    fix'd

    Also, nosebleeds are annoying as hell.

    Shadowhope wrote:
    What's the difference between Mass Effect 3 and the Gospel According to Saint Mark? One has an ending too sacred to be changed, and the other is part of the Bible.
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I had a ton of nosebleeds as a kid (mostly caused by a finger induced damage I'm sure) and the only way to stop them was to jam toilet paper in there and let it clot. Hell, one was so bad I had to shove a small tampon in there.
    I don't care what Red Cross says about treating a bloody nose, nothing else worked.

    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • pogo mudderpogo mudder Registered User
    edited September 2009
    I remember one time i was watching Friends on my own in the lounge. The adverts came on and i fancied some juice. I had been gone barely a minute, which wasn't nearly enough time to prepare me for seeing that my mother and her new husband had now entered the lounge, and that she was on her knees, going to town on his pee pee.
    all 3 of us stopped still and awkwardly apologised. we never spoke of it again.

    what a work of art is man, and the most boring choice you can make
  • SirUltimosSirUltimos Don't talk, Rusty. Just paint. Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Okay, my friends do some really stupid things. Here's just one of the stories.

    A few of my friend's are at someone else's house (Phil's) and just sitting around playing cards and drinking. This continues for a bit, and I guess Phil had a bit too much to drink because he just randomly throws up into his hands. Knowing that he would be made fun of for it and that everyone was currently looking away, he decided to eat the vomit and pretend like he hadn't puked at all.

    Of course, everyone saw and asked him what the fuck for weeks afterwards.

  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Businessman!Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I too, have gotten a nosebleed during sex. Thankfully, I was able to finish before the blood started dripping from my nose. She thought it was "cute". I guess there are obviously worse responses out there.

    Do girls find this sort of thing flattering, or something?

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    I pronounce it bee-log. Most recent entry: VIDEO GAMES: GUNPOINT, OR A SCIENTIFIC STUDY ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GLASS MEETS TROUSERS.
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  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    I too, have gotten a nosebleed during sex. Thankfully, I was able to finish before the blood started dripping from my nose. She thought it was "cute". I guess there are obviously worse responses out there.

    Do girls find this sort of thing flattering, or something?

    Maybe they're Japanese.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    I too, have gotten a nosebleed during sex. Thankfully, I was able to finish before the blood started dripping from my nose. She thought it was "cute". I guess there are obviously worse responses out there.

    Do girls find this sort of thing flattering, or something?

    Maybe they're Japanese.

    Or they read too much manga.

    twitter, github, resume/portfolio, if you like to play or host boardgames online, check out handtracker
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    you know what's not cool?

    finding out a chick's a furry while you're fuckin her

    let's say, you meet a chick at the university anime club, hit it off well

    end up going back to her place to fool around

    she's being perfectly normal, although sorta awkward as she explains to you this is her first time

    you certainly don't realize what she is, it's not like she's, christ, i don't know fuckin meowing or some shit

    but as you're going at it and taking her from behind you glance round the room, as is common for a man to do in such a circumstance

    you didn't see the room with the lights on, you aren't sure what it looks like, so you are sorta curious

    it's dark, but there is some light in the room. the dull red glow of her alarm clock, and the splinters of illumination from the streetlights slipping through her old blinds, casting faint blue slices of visibility on the walls

    the walls

    you notice the walls. the walls are covered in... posters? no. those are no posters. they aren't a space station, either. those are printouts, eight by elevens, on glossy printer paper.

    like she went around to deviantart and printed a bunch of illustrations of...

    are those

    are those catpeople?

    are you seeing catpeople, some of which have tits or dicks visible, posing and shit?

    does she

    does she have furry porn plastered all over her walls?

    suddenly it dawns on you why she's never known a man's touch despite being quite attractive.

    now, what're you gonna do?

    focus on the drama shitstorm to come (because, christ, fucking furries man), kill your boner, and then explain why your mood has vanished

    or do you put it from your mind as much as you can and focus on the task at hand and try to make lemonade from them lemons?

    the most bitter lemonade ever

  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    you are a saint.

  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Pony is a shining example of the human race

    ftOqU21.png
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    i am going to do this next story

    tarantino style

    all disjointed and cinema verite

    you will have to figure out the story for yourself


    he and eye locked eyes
    i didn't even know how to react
    i was just so stunned by the profanity of it all
    anger and the urge to do violence
    confused by the disgusting madness before me


    you might ask yourself
    what the hell was i doing in a bar
    i must've been like 15 at the time, right?
    well that's what's funny about it
    it's not like that ever mattered to me


    i got dressed and left and told her i was sorry, and she basically was just freaking out and had no way to deal with what just happened.
    i never spoke to her again.


    was taking her from behind, and out of the corner of my eye i noticed something. something wrong.
    it was a dude, staring in the window. a young guy, looked like 13 or so.
    he was jerkin' it.


    i met this girl in 10th grade at a bar.
    she was a college student


    i pulled out, and started throwing on my pants.
    he saw, and fucking ran out of sight
    i told the chick, and she freaked out. then i described what he looked like and she started screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD"


    and we got to doing it, and it was doing just fine. she was pretty good for a girl only 19 and not very experienced.


    so i met her in a bar, and chatted her up
    was trying to pick her up, found out she lived at home still
    but it wouldn't be a big deal, her dad didn't live with them and her mom works nights all the time


    i could just walk into most of these places
    i looked older, and more importantly i was confident and looked like i belonged there and i wasn't some kind of underage kid trying to sneak in
    it's all in how you carry yourself


    so, we went back to her place. her bedroom was on the ground floor
    and we got to doing it, and it was doing just fine. she was pretty good for a girl only 19 and not very experienced.


    Spoiler:

  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    ah

    ahaha

    ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    jesus christ

    breathe

    breathe

    ftOqU21.png
  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I figured it was her brother. Damn Pony and his awesome stories of awesome.

  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    yeah, it was like

    is it...?

    can it be...?

    oh god yes it is!

    ftOqU21.png
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    okay so

    i was 15

    i was a pretty terrible kid in school. i was into drugs and other such nonsense which is outside the scope of this story.

    anyway, the school was kind of aware of it, i guess some of my teachers complained

    so they assigned me this dude who was to be my "peer counselor". the program was supposed to be like a tutor and a big brother rolled into one. kind of a good idea in theory, but in practice they chose really terrible people for it and applied the program pretty hamfistedly.

    i got hauled into the guidance office one day, and they made me an offer: accept a peer counselor and work with him to improve my grades and attendance, or fail all of my courses and be expelled.

    so i accepted it, and i started hanging out with this guy. he was a nice chap, real smart, but see this is the problem with these peer counselor dudes: they volunteer for these positions, and are chosen on the basis of being bright-eyed young go-getters who can connect with younger students and are good academically and have the right "moral foundation". that means they are good, clean catholics. (it's a catholic high school)

    so, i meet this guy, and he's a good chap, but the problem is he has no way to relate to me at all. he's like this terminally uncool dork, the sort you see on television shows about high school kids. but he's trying really hard and he seems very sincere.

    however, he's one of those people who, for all their clean living and good churchyness, are kind of a judgmental asshole. he wasn't so much trying to help me as he was trying to correct who i am. he was good-natured, and i think ultimately his intentions were good, but his method was so sanctimonious and prickish, i really developed a dislike for this fucker the school assigned me with.

    so i developed this plan to be rid of him. i was going to use my gay against him. just very subtlely start hitting on him at first, and then over time ramping it up until he's so disgusted with me he'd give up. i figured, if he quit over that, and the school expelled me because of that, i could probably sue or something.

    However, my plan did not go as I envisioned it!

    apparently, he was a pretty repressed homosexual himself! all that churchyness and clean-living was just a mask of denial. So when I started with the flirtation, it opened up a whole door I was not expecting at all. he was intrigued, but also kind of upset. he was conflicted about the whole thing. at first, i felt bad for him, and actually felt sympathy.

    i made a move on him a week later, and he reciprocated for a bit at first, but then he flipped out and attacked me. i put a stop to that (i was bigger than him and a great deal more adept with such matters). he and i got to talking, and he was so filled with hatred not just of himself but also of me, it was simply impossible for me to feel anything but contempt for him. he felt like he had a disease, and that i was making it worse and that i was the one at fault for bringing this evil thing out of him. he threatened to out me to the whole school, that to deny any reciprocation on his part. he said that he'd destroy my reputation, get me kicked off the football team, etc. he was projecting all his self-hatred shit onto me.

    i called his bluff, and told him to try it. he didn't. he stayed as my peer counselor, and he tried to talk me into going to this camp thing where they would "fix what was wrong with us". i began to really, really hate him, and was filled with a renewed interest in destroying all of his denial and bullshit in the coldest, most absolute way possible.

    so i kept at trying to get with him. he'd dodge sometimes, and sometimes not, and then he'd get angry and feel guilty and hate me. but he'd keep coming back. this went on for two months before i managed to work him up to the big A, because i knew for him that was a point of no return, hearing how he talked about it.

    so i had to catch. he was uncomfortable with catching. i knew it was something i had to work him into, so i was okay with being the catcher at first. my god, it was hilarious, looking back. he was so nervous and terrified of everything. every little sound he swore was his parents coming home (they were gone for the weekend). he lost his nerve and his bone three times. finally got to it, and it was uncomfortable, unpleseant, but thankfully only like a minute before he was done.

    we switched spots, and he really, really hated it, but at the same time, it was like we crossed some kind of event horizon.

    because now, suddenly he was okay with it all. he was ready to be out. he told me he loved me. it's pretty easy for a guy to let them words fly when someone makes them orgasm.

    it was like suddenly a magic switch got thrown and pwooof, he was okay with being gay now.

    So long as I stood with him.

    And that, my friends, is where we entered Endgame

    A week after this, he came out to his parents. He came out to his parents and I was there. He told off his father. He called his mother a bitch. He basically just unleashed 17 years worth of repression with both barrels on his parents. Now, I'm sure there was a part of all this they deserved. Definitely, the religious shit he endured was their fault. However, he was being unfair and hate-filled. Like he had done to me, he was projecting all his hatred on someone else. It was really unfortunate to watch, but, I knew he was such a shit-heel of a person that I had a hard time feeling bad about it. I even held his hand.

    Then came his friends. He told them too. They, being clean-cut Catholic types, of course rejected him. But he didn't care! He told them all off, burned his bridges and pissed on the ashes. It was all okay, as long as I was with him.

    I dumped him a week later and told the guidance department he molested me, but that I wouldn't press charges because I couldn't suffer the personal embarassment of being outed to everyone like that and I'd be okay with keeping quiet if they just did something about him.

    The next day, he was gone from school and I never heard from him or about him again.

    They then dismantled the Peer Counselor program.

    Small victories.

    For a small man.

  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    So what you are trying to say here pony, is you are bi-sexual Machiavellian succubus?

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    joshua1 wrote: »
    So what you are trying to say here pony, is you are bi-sexual Machiavellian succubus?

    succubus is the female version. the correct term for the male is incubus

  • ScrumScrum __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2009
  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    um, not that that wasn't a good read, but.... really? that sounds like some of the worst shit you could put someone through. sure, in the long run he might thank you for helping him find himself, but you ruined his 'life' because you didn't like his attitude?
    he's probably planning your assassination as we speak

    if you don't mind my asking what year was this

    3DS - 3239-3347-2159
    XB1/360 - Local H Jay
  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    He is most definitely dead or planning to make you dead.

    Jesus Pony...this is a movie right? Tell me this is a movie...or a book...or an after school special.

    TELL ME IT'S FICTION FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!

    Chanus wrote: »

    Your wang is a better man than you.
  • THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Santabreaker PresentslayerRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Woah Pony.. woah.

    Holy shit, that could be a movie.

    Like one that wins awards.

    Respected awards!

    Facebook | Amazon | Twitter | Youtube | PSN: ThePain73 | Steam: ThePain73
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  • CorakCorak Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Anyone else notice that none of Pony's stories don't include him getting tail? :lol:
    Spoiler:

    I live!
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    That was a really well orchestrated long game. Wow.
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.

    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • UnluckyUnlucky Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    So, after having read all of his stuff, Pony's officially my hero now. I wish I could be that callous towards humanity.

    Pokedex entry: Charmeleon, The Flame Pokemon, the brighter its tail glows the stronger its teenage angst is.
    The lamprey is ribbed for his pleasure
  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I remember that tale from before.

    Still fucking twisted as ever.

  • DeciusDecius Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I thought that story was awesome.

    Does that make me a bad person?

    camo_sig2.png
    I never finish anyth
  • UnluckyUnlucky Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    Does that make me a bad person?
    Yes, but you're definately not alone.

    Pokedex entry: Charmeleon, The Flame Pokemon, the brighter its tail glows the stronger its teenage angst is.
    The lamprey is ribbed for his pleasure
  • SpectrumSpectrum Super High-School Level ??? Hope's Peak AcademyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.
    I figure that so long as they don't ask you to dress up or some shit, it's probably fair game.

    Right?

  • KirbithKirbith Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Spectrum wrote: »
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.
    I figure that so long as they don't ask you to dress up or some shit, it's probably fair game.

    Right?

    They are still a furry. Meaning they wish that they were some crazy animal person.. fucking other crazy animal people. I see problems with this.

    You know they'll eventually want you to go to a convention. A furry convention. D:

    Backloggery | Steam - Kirbith | PSN - Kirbith | 3DS: 4957-2249-4817
  • SpectrumSpectrum Super High-School Level ??? Hope's Peak AcademyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Kirbith wrote: »
    Spectrum wrote: »
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.
    I figure that so long as they don't ask you to dress up or some shit, it's probably fair game.

    Right?

    They are still a furry. Meaning they wish that they were some crazy animal person.. fucking other crazy animal people. I see problems with this. D:
    Furries are pretty bad, but so long as they're not trying to spread their furryness, there are worse things.

    Like otakukin.

  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Eh there's worse things than furries. Spectrum knows where it's at too it seems!

  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Spectrum wrote: »
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.
    I figure that so long as they don't ask you to dress up or some shit, it's probably fair game.

    Right?
    I'm willing to do a lot for just shits and giggles. Even more so if its a kink the person has that I'm not horrified by.
    I would probably not let someone shit on my chest, but I would probably shit on someone else's chest.

    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Spectrum wrote: »
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.
    I figure that so long as they don't ask you to dress up or some shit, it's probably fair game.

    Right?
    I'm willing to do a lot for just shits and giggles. Even more so if its a kink the person has that I'm not horrified by.
    I would probably not let someone shit on my chest, but I would probably shit on someone else's chest.

    What if they wanted you to wear ears and a tail while shitting?

    The list never changes: http://www.infinitebacklog.com
    Chamberlain.jpg
  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
  • ArchArch HELLO YES THIS IS BUG Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Well this just happened (and after you read I expect no comments like: "Well cut your HAIR")

    A case of mistaken bathroom identity.

    (Caveat, I feel the individual involved in this was much more embarrassed than I was)

    So I am in the urinal peeing (important detail) and someone walks into the bathroom. I had a nice long piss goin on (three cups of coffee, a lot of water and a VitaminWater) and I notice this guy staring at me intently with a quizzical look on his face out of the corner of my eye. I finish my business, zip up, and go to wash my hands all with this guy staring at me, obviously puzzled. Finally he taps me on the shoulder and asks "Is...is this the MEN'S restroom?" I responded "Yes, Obviously (while gesturing to the urinals)" and walked out.

    Now...I know from behind I can look like a girl, or at least feminine. But I was STANDING UP at the urinal and when I turned around I have a VERY obvious beard and mustache. What I am saying is if I was a lady I could join the circus easily with this beard.

    I just...I mean...I don't know. Context clues? I was slightly put off, but I could tell this guy was visibly embarrassed.

  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Spectrum wrote: »
    I'd also fuck a furry no problem. Maybe I haven't looked into it too much, but it doesn't really bother me. I might have more of a problem with your furry issues than your life destroying issues.
    I figure that so long as they don't ask you to dress up or some shit, it's probably fair game.

    Right?
    I'm willing to do a lot for just shits and giggles. Even more so if its a kink the person has that I'm not horrified by.
    I would probably not let someone shit on my chest, but I would probably shit on someone else's chest.

    What if they wanted you to wear ears and a tail while shitting?
    Sure. It's not really inconvenient.

    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • clsCorwinclsCorwin Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Pony... seriously... you need to write a damn book.. Oh god... lol

  • DemiurgeDemiurge Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    You're not that nerdy redhead who totally looks like a girl are you?

    DQ0uv.png 5E984.png
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Demiurge wrote: »
    You're not that nerdy redhead who totally looks like a girl are you?
    No, that's me.

    And a bunch of others.

    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
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