Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

The Monocled Cock: D&D's List of Greatest Historical Figures

Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited October 2009 in Debate and/or Discourse
Lists. We love them, we hate them, we engage in debate and discourse over them. It is time that Debate and Discourse, this esteemed collection of intellectuals and _J_, craft their own list.

Thusly, I introduce The Monocled Cock, an award granted to those historical figures who most exemplify the human spirit, who have pushed the boundaries of what we were capable of, who have altered the course of human history for the better, who are not Canadian.

This will work in two stages. The first stage is the nomination phase. Anyone can nominate a historical figure for this esteemed award, though I ask you to keep it serious. You can also nominate as many historical figures as you want. When nominated, please enclose it in "<nomination></nomination>" tags and color it lime. This makes it easy for me to search for and find them.

Example:
<nomination>Karl Marx</nomination>

During the nomination phase, discussion is encouraged! Please, discuss these great figures of history, engage in that thing which we are second greatest at (first greatest is, of course, cock jokes): debate and discourse.

After some completely arbitrary length of time, I will gather up the list and give the list to all who are interested in voting. You will rank them and then I will use mathematics to determine the final list! The mods will be used to break any ties, should they arise.

So, my friends, NOMINATE ON!

Premier kakos on
SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
«134

Posts

  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
  • Dr Mario KartDr Mario Kart Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    You should do it like how mcc does his GOTY thread at G&T. Its got all sorts of fancy maths.

  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2009
    Organichu wrote: »
    rand3.gif
    Spoiler:

    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    <nomination>Johannes Gutenberg</nomination>

    I think for obvious reasons.

  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2009
    You should do it like how mcc does his GOTY thread at G&T. Its got all sorts of fancy maths.

    I'm going to be using the Condorcet method to generate the final list. Condorcet is keen and awesome.

    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • Crimson KingCrimson King YOU CAN'T HAVE THE DUFFY WITHOUT THE WYNNRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Or you could just say Teddy Roosevelt and save everyone's time.

    DS: 4742 - 6001 - 2106 add me to your friend safaris
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2009
    Or you could just say Teddy Roosevelt and save everyone's time.

    I assume you meant to say

    <nomination>Theodore Roosevelt</nomination>

    ?

    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • BerenBeren Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    <Nomination>Shakespeare</nomination>

    It doesn't get better than Shakespeare. It just doesn't.

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    <Nomination>Henry II of England</nomination>

    Pros:
    - Ruled the Angevin Empire, England and Half of Modern France, as well as bits of Wales and Ireland.
    - Codified the common law system, where law is usually made by court cases and judge decisions, the system used in the UK and United States today.
    Cons:
    - Got into a massive shitstorm with Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, over whether the church should be subordinate to secular authority. His famous lament of frustration, "Who will rid me of this turbulent priest", was construed to be a royal command by four knights, who went off and murdered Becket, widely considered the worst crime in Christendom.
    - Thanks to mismanagement by his sons, the Angevin Empire was a bit of a flash in the pan, and already started to fall apart 15 years after his death.

  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2009
    Beren wrote: »
    <Nomination>Shakespeare</nomination>

    It doesn't get better than Shakespeare. It just doesn't.

    Honestly, I never got the Shakespeare love. I mean, his plays are pretty decent, but they're not as spooge-worthy as everyone thinks they are in my opinion. Shakespeare sort of is in the same category as the Beatles for me. I don't dislike them, but I don't think they're great and they certainly aren't as great as everyone thinks they are (again, in my opinion).

    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • cyphrcyphr Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Hmm, if we have to choose just one, it's going to be close between enlightenedbum, me, and whoever nominates Jesus (are we allowing figures whose existence is debated?)

    Anyways, I feel like Gutenberg's achievements would have been realized by someone else, given time, but there could only be one (YES I KNOW ABOUT LIEBNIZ)

    <nomination>Isaac Newton</nomination>

    steam_sig.png
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2009
    I should clarify, you can nominate as many people as you want.

    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Beren wrote: »

    It doesn't get better than Shakespeare. It just doesn't.

    Chaucer

  • BerenBeren Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Beren wrote: »
    <Nomination>Shakespeare</nomination>

    It doesn't get better than Shakespeare. It just doesn't.

    Honestly, I never got the Shakespeare love. I mean, his plays are pretty decent, but they're not as spooge-worthy as everyone thinks they are in my opinion. Shakespeare sort of is in the same category as the Beatles for me. I don't dislike them, but I don't think they're great and they certainly aren't as great as everyone thinks they are (again, in my opinion).

    Shakespeare is secular scripture. It is, basically, the basis for all great literature after it. Whether through direct influence or deliberate rebellion against

    Mostly, just read Harold Bloom on the subject. You'll slowly understand what it is that makes Shakespeare the greatest writer of all time.

    OF ALL TIME.

  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Dibs on <nomination>Norman Borlaug.</nomination>

    I have a blog. In the near future, I will also have a Kickstarter to get my club-soccer book up and running. I will let you know when I will start demanding all your money.
  • Crimson KingCrimson King YOU CAN'T HAVE THE DUFFY WITHOUT THE WYNNRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I should clarify, you can nominate as many people as you want.

    oh okay

    <nomination>Theodore Roosevelt</nomination>

    I don't actually know that much about him though, I just know everyone on the internet loves him and that he was the most badass president

    DS: 4742 - 6001 - 2106 add me to your friend safaris
  • BerenBeren Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Beren wrote: »

    It doesn't get better than Shakespeare. It just doesn't.

    Chaucer

    Chaucer is up there. The Wife of Bath is one of the best characters ever. But Shakespeare at his height is better than Chaucer. Hamlet, King Lear, Macbeth, are superior.

    But yeah. Chaucer is the fucking man.

  • AegisAegis Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    <Nomination>Lester B. Pearson</Nomination>

    For the modern concept of peacekeeping and end of the Suez Crisis, and thus indirectly giving a role to the United Nations and/or legitimizing its position in the world, even if it hasn't really followed up very effectively at times.

    Also as a :P to kakos.

  • cyphrcyphr Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Dibs on <nomination>Norman Borlaug.</nomination>
    Well played, well played.

    steam_sig.png
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Nomination splurge!

    <nomination>Archimedes</nomination>

    <nomination>Julius Caesar</nomination>

    <nomination>Leonardo da Vinci</nomination>

    <nomination>Euclid</nomination>

    <nomination>Leonard Euler</nomination>

    <nomination>Sir Isaac Newton</nomination>

  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I should clarify, you can nominate as many people as you want.
    Eh. I'll hang back until others have had a chance and then I'll sop up whoever's left that I think got missed.

    You may want to list nominated people in the OP so people don't inadvertently repeat.

    I have a blog. In the near future, I will also have a Kickstarter to get my club-soccer book up and running. I will let you know when I will start demanding all your money.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    cyphr wrote: »
    Gosling wrote: »
    Dibs on <nomination>Norman Borlaug.</nomination>
    Well played, well played.

    Indeed, that is exceptionally well played.

  • ElldrenElldren 3067-6294-6208Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Phase I: the conquerors, liberators, and uniters
    <nomination>William The Bastard</nomination>
    <nomination>Emperor Pedro I</nomination>
    <nomination>Simón Bolívar</nomination>
    <nomination>Oda Nobunaga</nomination>
    <nomination>Otto von Bismarck</nomination>
    <nomination>Vittorio Emanuele II</nomination>
    <nomination>Mao Zedong</nomination>
    <nomination>Genghis Khan</nomination>
    <nomination>Julius Caesar</nomination>

    fakedit: there are way too many I give up

  • BerenBeren Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Just naming lists of names is kinda boring.

  • Crimson KingCrimson King YOU CAN'T HAVE THE DUFFY WITHOUT THE WYNNRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Elldren wrote: »
    Phase I: the conquerors, liberators, and uniters

    <nomination>Mao Zedong</nomination>

    um Mao Zedong was an evil mass murderer

    DS: 4742 - 6001 - 2106 add me to your friend safaris
  • JudgementJudgement Registered User
    edited October 2009
    <nomination>Martin Luther King Jr.</nomination>

    309151-1.png
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Mao? No. Just no. Great Leap Forward, man, seriously. Some Chinese wound up reverting to cannibalism they were starving so badly.

    I have a blog. In the near future, I will also have a Kickstarter to get my club-soccer book up and running. I will let you know when I will start demanding all your money.
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    historical figures who most exemplify the human spirit, who have pushed the boundaries of what we were capable of, who have altered the course of human history for the better, who are not Canadian.

    george-carlin.jpg

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d79FmF1_YUQ

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvF1Q3UidWM


    <Nomination>George Carlin</Nomination>

  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Elldren wrote: »
    Phase I: the conquerors, liberators, and uniters
    <nomination>William The Bastard</nomination>
    <nomination>Emperor Pedro I</nomination>
    <nomination>Simón Bolívar</nomination>
    <nomination>Oda Nobunaga</nomination>
    <nomination>Otto von Bismarck</nomination>
    <nomination>Vittorio Emanuele II</nomination>
    <nomination>Mao Zedong</nomination>
    <nomination>Genghis Khan</nomination>
    <nomination>Julius Caesar</nomination>

    fakedit: there are way too many I give up

    Yeah, I'm trying to avoid military figures other than Caesar.

  • AegisAegis Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Dibs on <nomination>Norman Borlaug.</nomination>

    I never even heard of this guy. I fail so badly :(

  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Realistically, we should have a bunch of categories.

  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Beren wrote: »
    Just naming lists of names is kinda boring.

    Give it time. Right now we're just making with the really big names that more or less speak for themselves. Once you get into more obscure and more questionable names, it'll pick up.

    I have a blog. In the near future, I will also have a Kickstarter to get my club-soccer book up and running. I will let you know when I will start demanding all your money.
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I mean <nomination>Jesus</nomination> was the best cult leader ever
    <nomination>Muhammad</nomination> was decent as well

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    <Nomination>Sir Winston Churchill</nomination>

    Pros:
    - Pretty much the definition of the right man in the right place at the right time.
    - Stirred the UK into not folding against Hitler. Also helped steer American opinion to support for Britain, before Japan did that much better than he ever could.
    - Charismatic and boisterous, not to mention a master user of wit and sarcasm.
    - Gave us the concept of the Iron Curtain, and was I think genuinely sad at leaving his Polish allies in the lurch.

    Cons:
    - Quite chauvanist.
    - Had a bit of the "Mighty Whitey" about him, was determined to "Keep India out of the hands of the Indians".
    - Royally screwed up Gallipolli in World War I.

  • PantsBPantsB Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Don't get cute, draft your studs in the first round.
    <nomination>Abraham Lincoln</nomination>
    lincoln-memorial-brian-mcdunn.jpg

    If there's nothing against multiple nominations
    <nomination>René Descartes</nomination> (Key figure in development of the Scientific Method, mathematics and philosophy (and philosophy 101 courses))

    If I was pulling a Mel Kiper, I'd still have John Locke, Benjamin Franklin, Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton, Copernicus, Galileo, Leonardo (huge upside if not as influential as he could have been) and Simon Bolivar high on the Big Board.

    11793-1.png
    Spoiler:
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Should we just get all the major religious figures out of the way?

  • JudgementJudgement Registered User
    edited October 2009
    I agree with Bum, we should have different categories.

    There will be an "Artists" and a "Philosophers" list.

    A "George Carlin" and a "Martin Luther King Jr." list.

    309151-1.png
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Aegis wrote: »
    Gosling wrote: »
    Dibs on <nomination>Norman Borlaug.</nomination>

    I never even heard of this guy. I fail so badly :(

    Neither have a lot of people. Used to be that wheat was top-heavy; the seeds were too big and made the stalks topple. Borlaug engineered smaller seeds, which made the grain harvestable.

    He's credited with saving a billion lives.

    I have a blog. In the near future, I will also have a Kickstarter to get my club-soccer book up and running. I will let you know when I will start demanding all your money.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Ann Arbor, MichiganRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    PantsB wrote: »
    Don't get cute, draft your studs in the first round.
    <nomination>Abraham Lincoln</nomination>
    Spoiler:

    If there's nothing against multiple nominations
    <nomination>René Descartes</nomination> (Key figure in development of the Scientific Method, mathematics and philosophy (and philosophy 101 courses))

    If I was pulling a Mel Kiper, I'd still have John Locke, Benjamin Franklin, Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton, Copernicus, Galileo, Leonardo (huge upside if not as influential as he could have been) and Simon Bolivar high on the Big Board.

    Clearly we need to set up a fantasy league with points awarded based on the voting.

  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    <nomination>Plato</nomination>
    <nomination>Aristotle</nomination>
    <nomination>St. Thomas Aquinas</nomination>
    <nomination>St. Augustine</nomination>


    Edit: I'm going to go into pros/cons for each later. Tomorrow, probably. It's 1AM and I'm inexplicably exhausted.

    sig.png
«134
Sign In or Register to comment.