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The Monocled Cock: D&D's List of Greatest Historical Figures
Premier kakos
Registered User, ClubPA regular
Registered User, ClubPA regular
Lists. We love them, we hate them, we engage in debate and discourse over them. It is time that Debate and Discourse, this esteemed collection of intellectuals and _J_, craft their own list.
Thusly, I introduce The Monocled Cock, an award granted to those historical figures who most exemplify the human spirit, who have pushed the boundaries of what we were capable of, who have altered the course of human history for the better, who are not Canadian.
This will work in two stages. The first stage is the nomination phase. Anyone can nominate a historical figure for this esteemed award, though I ask you to keep it serious. You can also nominate as many historical figures as you want. When nominated, please enclose it in "<nomination></nomination>" tags and color it lime. This makes it easy for me to search for and find them.
Example:
<nomination>Karl Marx</nomination>
During the nomination phase, discussion is encouraged! Please, discuss these great figures of history, engage in that thing which we are second greatest at (first greatest is, of course, cock jokes): debate and discourse.
After some completely arbitrary length of time, I will gather up the list and give the list to all who are interested in voting. You will rank them and then I will use mathematics to determine the final list! The mods will be used to break any ties, should they arise.
So, my friends, NOMINATE ON!
Thusly, I introduce The Monocled Cock, an award granted to those historical figures who most exemplify the human spirit, who have pushed the boundaries of what we were capable of, who have altered the course of human history for the better, who are not Canadian.
This will work in two stages. The first stage is the nomination phase. Anyone can nominate a historical figure for this esteemed award, though I ask you to keep it serious. You can also nominate as many historical figures as you want. When nominated, please enclose it in "<nomination></nomination>" tags and color it lime. This makes it easy for me to search for and find them.
Example:
<nomination>Karl Marx</nomination>
During the nomination phase, discussion is encouraged! Please, discuss these great figures of history, engage in that thing which we are second greatest at (first greatest is, of course, cock jokes): debate and discourse.
After some completely arbitrary length of time, I will gather up the list and give the list to all who are interested in voting. You will rank them and then I will use mathematics to determine the final list! The mods will be used to break any ties, should they arise.
So, my friends, NOMINATE ON!
Premier kakos on
Posts
I think for obvious reasons.
I'm going to be using the Condorcet method to generate the final list. Condorcet is keen and awesome.
I assume you meant to say
<nomination>Theodore Roosevelt</nomination>
?
It doesn't get better than Shakespeare. It just doesn't.
Pros:
- Ruled the Angevin Empire, England and Half of Modern France, as well as bits of Wales and Ireland.
- Codified the common law system, where law is usually made by court cases and judge decisions, the system used in the UK and United States today.
Cons:
- Got into a massive shitstorm with Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, over whether the church should be subordinate to secular authority. His famous lament of frustration, "Who will rid me of this turbulent priest", was construed to be a royal command by four knights, who went off and murdered Becket, widely considered the worst crime in Christendom.
- Thanks to mismanagement by his sons, the Angevin Empire was a bit of a flash in the pan, and already started to fall apart 15 years after his death.
Honestly, I never got the Shakespeare love. I mean, his plays are pretty decent, but they're not as spooge-worthy as everyone thinks they are in my opinion. Shakespeare sort of is in the same category as the Beatles for me. I don't dislike them, but I don't think they're great and they certainly aren't as great as everyone thinks they are (again, in my opinion).
Anyways, I feel like Gutenberg's achievements would have been realized by someone else, given time, but there could only be one (YES I KNOW ABOUT LIEBNIZ)
<nomination>Isaac Newton</nomination>
Chaucer
Shakespeare is secular scripture. It is, basically, the basis for all great literature after it. Whether through direct influence or deliberate rebellion against
Mostly, just read Harold Bloom on the subject. You'll slowly understand what it is that makes Shakespeare the greatest writer of all time.
OF ALL TIME.
oh okay
<nomination>Theodore Roosevelt</nomination>
I don't actually know that much about him though, I just know everyone on the internet loves him and that he was the most badass president
Chaucer is up there. The Wife of Bath is one of the best characters ever. But Shakespeare at his height is better than Chaucer. Hamlet, King Lear, Macbeth, are superior.
But yeah. Chaucer is the fucking man.
For the modern concept of peacekeeping and end of the Suez Crisis, and thus indirectly giving a role to the United Nations and/or legitimizing its position in the world, even if it hasn't really followed up very effectively at times.
Also as a
<nomination>Archimedes</nomination>
<nomination>Julius Caesar</nomination>
<nomination>Leonardo da Vinci</nomination>
<nomination>Euclid</nomination>
<nomination>Leonard Euler</nomination>
<nomination>Sir Isaac Newton</nomination>
You may want to list nominated people in the OP so people don't inadvertently repeat.
Indeed, that is exceptionally well played.
<nomination>William The Bastard</nomination>
<nomination>Emperor Pedro I</nomination>
<nomination>Simón Bolívar</nomination>
<nomination>Oda Nobunaga</nomination>
<nomination>Otto von Bismarck</nomination>
<nomination>Vittorio Emanuele II</nomination>
<nomination>Mao Zedong</nomination>
<nomination>Genghis Khan</nomination>
<nomination>Julius Caesar</nomination>
fakedit: there are way too many I give up
um Mao Zedong was an evil mass murderer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d79FmF1_YUQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvF1Q3UidWM
<Nomination>George Carlin</Nomination>
Yeah, I'm trying to avoid military figures other than Caesar.
I never even heard of this guy. I fail so badly
Give it time. Right now we're just making with the really big names that more or less speak for themselves. Once you get into more obscure and more questionable names, it'll pick up.
<nomination>Muhammad</nomination> was decent as well
Pros:
- Pretty much the definition of the right man in the right place at the right time.
- Stirred the UK into not folding against Hitler. Also helped steer American opinion to support for Britain, before Japan did that much better than he ever could.
- Charismatic and boisterous, not to mention a master user of wit and sarcasm.
- Gave us the concept of the Iron Curtain, and was I think genuinely sad at leaving his Polish allies in the lurch.
Cons:
- Quite chauvanist.
- Had a bit of the "Mighty Whitey" about him, was determined to "Keep India out of the hands of the Indians".
- Royally screwed up Gallipolli in World War I.
<nomination>Abraham Lincoln</nomination>
If there's nothing against multiple nominations
<nomination>René Descartes</nomination> (Key figure in development of the Scientific Method, mathematics and philosophy (and philosophy 101 courses))
If I was pulling a Mel Kiper, I'd still have John Locke, Benjamin Franklin, Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton, Copernicus, Galileo, Leonardo (huge upside if not as influential as he could have been) and Simon Bolivar high on the Big Board.
QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
There will be an "Artists" and a "Philosophers" list.
A "George Carlin" and a "Martin Luther King Jr." list.
Neither have a lot of people. Used to be that wheat was top-heavy; the seeds were too big and made the stalks topple. Borlaug engineered smaller seeds, which made the grain harvestable.
He's credited with saving a billion lives.
Clearly we need to set up a fantasy league with points awarded based on the voting.
<nomination>Aristotle</nomination>
<nomination>St. Thomas Aquinas</nomination>
<nomination>St. Augustine</nomination>
Edit: I'm going to go into pros/cons for each later. Tomorrow, probably. It's 1AM and I'm inexplicably exhausted.