My girlfriend is in quite a bad situation... well... in every which way.
Basically she's living with her parents, she's dependent on them for pretty much everything, they're not helping her with stuff that she actually needs, and they're emotionally abusing her.
She doesn't have a car or know how to drive for that matter. She's going to school through loans she's gotten without them. She's trying to find a job, but her parents have given her a very limited area where they'll give her a ride (and as you know, the job market sucks right now).
Add on top of that the fact that she had thyroid cancer, had part of her thyroid removed, and needs to get a checkup to see if she's ok. They refuse to take her. They refuse to help her get her social security stuff taken care of so she can get a damned bank account (she has had her identity stolen on top of all this).
In other words, she's completely dependent on them for shelter, food, and transportation.
And they're emotionally abusing her, and have being doing so for some time. She feels worthless and alone. I've been trying to show her she's not, but it really doesn't seem to be helping. I'm guessing that's because her grandmother (which she was very close to and she considered to be the only person who really cared about her) died a while back, she blames herself. Her parents seem to give and give when it comes to her two older sisters (they've had cars given to them, were taught to drive, were helped with school, ext). She's constantly put down and compared to her sisters by her parents. Her sister who's 25 (she's 19), and still lives with them abuses the situation she's in, taking advantage of her helplessness by having her help with babysitting jobs and paying her like... $10 out of $60.
And now I've entered into the whole situation and I want to help her get out. The way I see it there's 2 real things that need to happen...
- She needs to stop caring what her parents say to and about her and gain some self confidence.
- She needs to move out and become self sufficient.
The only ways so far I've come up with to help with #1 is, well, be there for her, tell her how much I love her, and try to get her to integrate with my group of friends, who all have there shit together relatively well for a bunch of suburban kids.
As for the second one, besides teaching her how to drive, pushing her to start saving up for a car once she finds a job, and trying to give her a ride to anything she really needs to go to, I don't know what to do. If we had been going out for longer than we have, I would be completely comfortable just trying to get her to move in with me... but we've only really known each other since the beginning of September. And it really wouldn't help her become self sufficient. She'd just become dependent on me.
I just don't know what to do. I really want to help her, it hurts to see her stuck like this. And it really worries me. I'm hoping someone here might know what to do. Or at least have some idea of what she should be doing. If anyone needs anymore info, I'll give as much as I feel comfortable with.