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[Game On] Soviet Phalla - Game Over: Capitalist Victory

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Posts

  • ElJeffeElJeffe Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    Less furry things, more narration, dammit!

    Guitar Hero 2 awaits!

    Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
    Maddie: "I am not!"
    Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
    Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Adopted by the "farm" maybe!!! :twisted:
    No. Bad polar bear*smacks Sab with rolled up newspaper*

    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Less furry things, more narration, dammit!

    Guitar Hero 2 awaits!

    Bastard why do are the mods/ex-mods have it but I don't!?!?!?!

    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Last SonLast Son Registered User regular
    Senor Fish wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Gnasty wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    People reading this thread are going to be wondering what's wrogn with us.

    There is nothing wrong with kittens and puppies.

    But there's no bunnies or polar bear cubs!!!


    plus its in a phalla game. :P
    I can imagine a kitty and puppy phalla.

    How do I not kill anyone, but remove them from the game?

    ADOPTION! Yes!

    This idea wins so hard.

    /oooooOOOooOOOoo

    steam_sig.png
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    Saburbia wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Less furry things, more narration, dammit!

    Guitar Hero 2 awaits!

    Bastard why do are the mods/ex-mods have it but I don't!?!?!?!

    Tube bought everyone copies.

    Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
    Maddie: "I am not!"
    Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
    Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Less furry things, more narration, dammit!

    Guitar Hero 2 awaits!

    Bastard why do are the mods/ex-mods have it but I don't!?!?!?!

    Tube bought everyone copies.

    Lies!!!!

    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • GnastyGnasty Registered User
    I might have to post some more cute pictures if narration isn't posted soon.

    i just wanna 'be myself'
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User
    I think I might actually sign up for a Kittens/Puppy phalla. I'm not sure how the spies would work, but there would be a high concentration of cuteness in every narration.

    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Less furry things, more narration, dammit!

    Guitar Hero 2 awaits!

    Bastard why do are the mods/ex-mods have it but I don't!?!?!?!

    Tube bought everyone copies.

    So that's why K was playing it competitively in vent

    because he has a rich uncle

    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User
    Senor Fish wrote: »
    I think I might actually sign up for a Kittens/Puppy phalla. I'm not sure how the spies would work, but there would be a high concentration of cuteness in every narration.

    No spies at all!

    We just pick cute avatars and keep voting people to get adopted until we all win!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • UtsanomikoUtsanomiko Registered User regular
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Less furry things, more narration, dammit!

    Guitar Hero 2 awaits!

    Bastard why do are the mods/ex-mods have it but I don't!?!?!?!

    Tube bought everyone copies.

    No way bro, that guy is like a music-hating grendel-man or something.

    hmm.gif
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Senor Fish wrote: »
    I think I might actually sign up for a Kittens/Puppy phalla. I'm not sure how the spies would work, but there would be a high concentration of cuteness in every narration.

    No spies at all!

    We just pick cute avatars and keep voting people to get adopted until we all win!
    YES! That's brilliant. Let's do it.

    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • GnastyGnasty Registered User
    I HAVE FOUND MY NEXT AVATAR. I shall beat Saburbia at his own game!!

    ears_actshon.jpg

    EDIT: Actually it isn't as cute as I initially thought at second glance. I may or may not be my next avatar.

    i just wanna 'be myself'
  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    Visiblehowl, your the reason why I'm going to be so grumpy/tired tomorrow.

    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • ShamusShamus Registered User regular
    seal.jpg

    Kitty/Puppy Phalla would be genius.

  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    Gnasty wrote: »
    I HAVE FOUND MY NEXT AVATAR. I shall beat Saburbia at his own game!!

    ears_actshon.jpg

    Don't make me break out the frog kitty avatar.

    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Visiblehowl, your the reason why I'm going to be so grumpy/tired tomorrow.
    We should all kill him(with cuteness) after the game is over for making us wait for so long on so many occasions.

    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl Registered User regular
    Sascha grimaced. He was almost certain Ilya was bluffing, but the bastard had an uncanny ability to come up big whenever he needed it. Sascha stared at his cards for another few seconds before tossing them angrily on the center of the table. Ilya tucked his cards neatly under Sascha’s and gathered them all into a little pile, shuffling once before handing them back to his opponent. Sascha grumbled and shuffled several more times while Ilya carefully sorted his chips into neat piles. Ilya’s stacks were considerably larger than Sascha’s, a cause for considerable dismay on the larger man’s part.

    Sascha was currently bossless. Two days ago, a bomb had gone off in the chambers where nominees for the General Secretary and Politburo positions were staying while the Committee debated. Gnasty (Sascha's boss) and thorgot had been killed instantly, and most of the others had sustained serious injuries. Most were due to be released today, however, and ElJeffe would assume duties as soon as he was able. Senor Fish had been implicated in the bomb plot, but he’d managed to escape after being convicted. The Committee, not to be denied, had immediately executed EvilBadman, mostly because, “He kept looking at us funny. And also, he’s kind of whiny.”

    Ilya shook his head wryly. The Committee had been on completely the wrong track with Senor Fish, and it was actually pretty amusing that he’d managed to escape. If only Hakkekage and GridSystem had been so fortunate…

    Ilya finished sorting his chips and grinned encouragingly at Sascha. Then he noticed an aide he knew approaching from behind his opponent’s left shoulder. Their eyes met, and as the aide passed, a small ball of paper slipped surreptitiously from his hand to the floor. Ilya began twirling a chip in his fingers, but he fumbled it a bit and the chip clattered to the floor. He bent down to pick it up and quickly snatched the paper ball off the ground. It was on Lemon Chiffon paper, which could only mean one thing: a note from the boss.

    He scanned it quickly, and barely stifled a gasp of horror. He tried to jump to his feet, but ended up slamming his head on the bottom of the table. He stood a bit more slowly, and noticed Sascha looking at him suspiciously. “Um…one second, I need to go to the bathroom.” Ilya turned on his heel and strode out of the room and down the hallway. He knew that bastard Sascha was going to steal some of his chips, but it didn’t matter anymore. He reread the message in his head:
    Ilya,

    It is time. We both knew this day might come. You must go into hiding IMMEDIATELY. Go to the place I told you about, and talk to Olga. She will tell you where to go next.

    It was my deepest pleasure to have worked with you. I wish you luck, and hope you get to see the glorious day when Communist Russia is no more, even though I will not see that day myself.

    Regards,

    DevoutlyApathetic

    Tears stung Ilya’s eyes as he blundered down the hallway and outside. No, Sascha hardly mattered anymore. What mattered was that Ilya was now an outlaw, and the Cause had lost another fighter. But mostly what mattered was that Ilya’s boss and, yes, friend, was now dead, and he barely noticed his surroundings as he ran to his destination.

    --

    Rygar sighed in relief. After what seemed like forever, he and Spawnbroker were finally back on track to return to the city. All that was left was to turn right on the next street, towards the city, and then he could at least get out of the car and catch a cab. He saw the intersection drawing closer and closer, and he was filled with exultation as they approached Lenin St.

    Wait. Lenin St? Son of a bitch.

    Rygar slumped in his seat in resignation. True to form, Spawnbroker turned left on Lenin St. Rygar watched the city grow smaller in the rearview mirror, and resolved that at some point he’d release his frustration by punching Spawnbroker in the throat.

    His thoughts were interrupted when he noticed a figure standing by the side of the road. As they drew closer, he recognized Senor Fish, fist outstretched, thumb in the air. Spawnbroker slowed to a stop, and Rygar opened the door to let the man into the car.

    “Thanks guys!” Senor Fish said brightly. “Man, it’s really cold out. And it’s getting really dark. Boy am I glad you guys showed up, I probably would have frozen to death if you hadn’t picked me up. I mean, I love Mother Russia as much as the next guy but seriously it just gets WAY too cold out here. I remember this one time when I was at the zoo…”

    Senor Fish babbled on for almost an hour. By the time Rygar could get a word in edgewise, night had fallen. “Senor Fish, why were you even out there?”

    “Oh…um…well, you see, the Committee was going to execute me, but I didn’t do anything, so I ran away.”

    There was a brief moment of silence before Spawnbroker slammed on the brakes. He stepped outside, opened the back door to the car, and dragged Senor Fish out of the backseat. Drawing a pistol, he prodded Senor Fish in the direction of the thick evergreen forest looming on the side of the road. “Fine, fine, I’m going, I’m going. Jeez, you guys are no fun at all.” Senor Fish stalked off into the forest, talking audibly to himself the whole time.

    Rygar stepped out of the car and stood next to Spawnbroker, who was watching to make sure Senor Fish didn’t emerge from the woods. “Are you sure that’ll take care of him? I mean, it’s a pretty big forest, but he could find his way out.”

    Spawnbroker shook his head and pointed off to his right. Rygar followed his finger and saw an ancient sign just on the border of the forest:
    Warning: At night, this forest is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

    Rygar looked at Spawnbroker in puzzlement. “What’s a grue? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a—“

    He was interrupted by a shrill scream from the forest. Senor Fish’s voice was clearly audible to the men standing by the road. “OH GOD! PLEASE NO, NOT THERE, OH SHIT WHERE IS MY STOMACH WHY ARE YOU CHOKING ME WITH MY INTESTINES…”

    The former Committee member’s pleadings continued nonstop, and Rygar and Spawnbroker beat a hasty retreat to the car. Even as they pulled away, they could hear the shrieks, but a moment later, the screams suddenly stopped, and they heard Senor Fish’s voice no more.

    "I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it."

    "Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
  • GnastyGnasty Registered User
    Shamus wrote: »
    seal.jpg

    Kitty/Puppy Phalla would be genius.

    I love that picture!!

    i just wanna 'be myself'
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl Registered User regular
    Deaths:
    EvilBadman: executed by General Secretary - Soviet
    DevoutlyApathetic: executed by Politburo - Sympathizer
    thorgot: blown up by rebels - soviet
    Gnasty: blown up by rebels - soviet
    Senor Fish: eaten by a grue - soviet

    Elections:

    General Secretary

    ElJeffe

    Politburo

    Locus
    Lord Cecil Eaglelaser
    Saburbia
    Smasher
    Technicality
    tofu
    Utsanomiko

    Please nobody post in the Poliburo thread until after I make the post telling the old Politburo where to stop reading.

    "I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it."

    "Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    Senor Fish wrote: »
    I think I might actually sign up for a Kittens/Puppy phalla. I'm not sure how the spies would work, but there would be a high concentration of cuteness in every narration.

    Clearly, the spies would be half-dog and half-human. Like this:
    Spoiler:

    EvilBadman: executed by General Secretary - Soviet

    Winner winner, chicken dinner.

    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman MD; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
    Good luck.

    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    Hmmm ... damn. Night all.

    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • GnastyGnasty Registered User
    :(

    Spies, you guys suck.

    Good luck the rest of you, but without me you're all pretty much all guaranteed to perish.

    PS: Senor Fish was innocent! I told you so!

    i just wanna 'be myself'
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User
    ooooOOOOOoooo
    Oh shit...the pain...
    Is this the real life, is this just fantasy
    Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
    Open your eyes , look up to the skies and see
    I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
    Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low
    Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me
    ...to me

    Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head
    Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
    Mama, life had just begun
    But now I've gone and thrown it all away
    Mama oooh... Didn't mean to make you cry
    If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
    Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

    Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine
    Body's aching all the time
    Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
    Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
    Mama oooh (any way the wind blows)
    I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

    I see a little silhouetto of a man
    Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
    Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me
    Galileo (Galileo)
    Galileo (Galileo)
    Galileo figaro (Magnifico)
    But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
    He's just a poor boy from a poor family
    Spare him his life from this monstrosity
    Easy come easy go, will you let me go
    Bismillah! No, we will not let you go, let him go
    Bismillah! We will not let you go, let him go
    Bismillah! We will not let you go, let me go
    Will not let you go, let me go
    Will not let you go let me go
    No, no, no, no, no, no, no
    Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
    Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

    So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
    So you think you can love me and leave me to die
    Oh baby, can't do this to me baby
    Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here

    Nothing really matters, anyone can see
    Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me


    Took you long enough
    /oooooOOOOOOOOoooooo

    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User
    Damn. Eaten by a Grue. Kind of Ironic considering how it took so long to take down DA though, considering that he had only been saved by the manipulator on day two.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ShamusShamus Registered User regular
    Fucking a'..I'm gonna call it a night here, I'll be back tommorow.

  • tofutofu Registered User
    Please nobody post in the Poliburo thread until after I make the post telling the old Politburo where to stop reading.

    We don't get to read the whole thing? Nooooooooooooooooo...D:

    Why did we wait so long to kill DA.

  • Buzz BuzzBuzz Buzz Registered User
    So, TehSpectre was blocked, eh? I have him with two votes, but he's not in the politburo. Does that mean he's innocent? Or is this some sort of scheme on the rebels' part to get us to trust him?

  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    Oh man, that pun is terrible.

  • GnastyGnasty Registered User
    ooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooo

    PS: Spies, I was responsible for bandwagoning an Old Hand and plotting the death of Ardor. I was hoping my talent for killing the wrong people would have kept me alive for a little longer.

    ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo

    i just wanna 'be myself'
  • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
    Current Spreadsheet

    CURRENT DEMOGRAPHICS:
    13 Soviets
    1 Old Hand
    1 Influencer
    4 Revolutionaries

    15 vs. 4 now? That gives us four days to find the next spy. There might be at least one of them on the politburo, at most there may be two - I doubt they would be able to get three in there. But the safer bet may be to go into the crowd to find as many spies as possible. I'll try to take some time later to come up with thoughts, but I'm out for now.

    chirisigtext.png
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic I've Done Worse Registered User regular
    tofu wrote: »
    Why did we wait so long to kill DA.

    Mwa-ha-ha-ha. Frankly this game has been a blast because I've been skating death since day 1.

    Also:
    THANKS FOR FUCKING YOUR TEAM SPAWNBROKER!



    I owe you cookies or something.

    "When you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. When you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

    Borderlands 2 PA Xbox Metatag - Bazillion Guns
  • Buzz BuzzBuzz Buzz Registered User
    Yeah, seriously, Spawnbroker sucks.

    Anyway, MrBlarney, that hardly gives us four days. If we don't find any rebels by the end of three days, it'll be 3 soviets to 4 rebels, and that means we lose.

  • tofutofu Registered User
    I mean seriously, why did we wait so long to kill him. That's just mind boggling.

  • Buzz BuzzBuzz Buzz Registered User
    So, burning questions in my mind:

    -Why are the rebels cool with ElJeffe becoming GS? ElJeffe also grabbed the position away from Tofu through that last minute vote for himself.
    -Do we suspect the people who just barely hopped into the politburo by voting for themselves? Locus, Saburbia, and Utsanomiko?

    I've got a few others, but dammit, I really don't even know how to begin to phrase them. Maybe I'll add some more later.

  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl Registered User regular
    His boss’s intelligence network had finally discovered another revolutionary, and he’d been put in contact with their entire group.

    Crap. That would explain why the trap didn't work.

    This made me laugh out loud.

    "I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it."

    "Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic I've Done Worse Registered User regular
    His boss’s intelligence network had finally discovered another revolutionary, and he’d been put in contact with their entire group.

    Crap. That would explain why the trap didn't work.

    This made me laugh out loud.

    I try, I try.

    Thanks for running an awesome game Howl (you too RBB, where ever you are.) It was incredibly fun because I could have sworn I was going down when I was seered night 1....not so much.

    "When you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. When you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

    Borderlands 2 PA Xbox Metatag - Bazillion Guns
  • Buzz BuzzBuzz Buzz Registered User
    His boss’s intelligence network had finally discovered another revolutionary, and he’d been put in contact with their entire group.

    Crap. That would explain why the trap didn't work.

    This made me laugh out loud.

    I try, I try.

    Thanks for running an awesome game Howl (you too RBB, where ever you are.) It was incredibly fun because I could have sworn I was going down when I was seered night 1....not so much.

    I don't know how the hell you got Eri to trust you. There was no proof of your power, and she flat out told us that you weren't confirmed. Why didn't she call out the bandwagons on you? Instead of me, maybe?

    Ugh, I don't have the slightest idea what's going on right now...

  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    Yeah yeah, quiet you capitalist pig. You got damn lucky spawnbroker went AWOL.

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