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[INTERNET DATING] Adventure Time!

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Posts

  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    I'm tired of doing all the damn work!

  • RisenPhoenixRisenPhoenix Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Forar wrote: »
    I continue to loathe the "maybe you should check out..." list at the top left. Even when it's right, it's wrong.

    I clicked one of the people on the list yesterday, and woah, she had a good picture up, a well written profile and our interests seemed to mesh perfectly.

    She last logged on in January.

    That might make it a wee bit difficult to get in touch.

    That was my latest quiver.

    3 girls, two of which were quite intriguing and not too hard on the eyes either.

    Hammer out two individual mails, send them off. Check last login date...

    1 year 2 months and 6 months respectively. Augh.

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    STEAM | XBL | PSN
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  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Nocren wrote: »
    Then my temp agency calls as I'm leaving the store and says they have work for me. Great! It's wednesday, thursday and possibly friday from 4pm-2am. I text the girl and tell her this. Her response, and I paraphrase, "That's a good excuse when you don't want to meet someone."
    This was in a non-joking manner because when I tried to explain it to her via text (and even offered a make-up/different date on the weekend), I never got a response back.

    So if she's going to act that way, maybe it's for the best...

    And this is why I think texting is generally terrible for this. I know I've been on the receiving end of texts that were a change of plans, only to make a huge deal out of it for no reason. Meanwhile a simple phone call would have avoided the issue entirely.

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  • SpacemilkSpacemilk Registered User
    edited May 2010
    I'm tired of doing all the damn work!
    So what you're saying is - you message the girl, you initiate the conversation, but you want her to do most of the work?

    It's not fair... but at the same time it kinda is.

  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    I'm tired of doing all the damn work!
    So what you're saying is - you message the girl, you initiate the conversation, but you want her to do most of the work?

    It's not fair... but at the same time it kinda is.

    I'm tired of trying to carry conversations, more or less. The one time I found a girlfriend for a few months, she was just as interested in talking to me as I was to her, but I can't seem to replicate that enthusiasm. I find myself doing all of the work and I'm simply tired of it.

    It's like a bad sex metaphor.

  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    I'm tired of doing all the damn work!
    So what you're saying is - you message the girl, you initiate the conversation, but you want her to do most of the work?

    It's not fair... but at the same time it kinda is.

    Or he wants women to message him and come up with interesting questions.

    Which is an entirely reasonable desire, if pointless and unhelpful for this situation.

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  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Justin's problem is he's tired of having the male role in the online dating scene which I can't blame him for. I'm not trying to be mysogenic or anything but commonly with online dating the onus is on the man to send out the messages and woo a mate, we all know this and it's come up a lot here.

    I'm sure several of you ladies do this as well but I'm going to guess this is only done after you wade through/delete the inbox of messages from the plethora of interested guys.

    Horseshoe wrote:
    I've got good news and bad news about 6th level, That Guy. The good news is that Forbiddance spell allows you to prevent enemies different alignment from entering a consecrated area, which is actually useful! The bad news is that the only other new sixth level spell makes lunch for everybody. Guess which one the party is going to expect you to cast.
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar QA Tester -> Game Producer Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    So far the only dates I've gotten from OKC are from the girl initiating and asking me out for coffee.

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  • msmyamsmya Being Fabulous Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I guess that's true, Zen did message me first and ask me out.

    But trust me, girls do send out messages to guys too!

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    Steam Profile / MsMya Stream Channel
  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    msmya wrote: »
    I guess that's true, Zen did message me first and ask me out.

    But trust me, girls do send out messages to guys too!
    the difference here is that zen has the sexiest voice...he probably messaged you with just a link to a soundclip of him talking

    maybe i need to rethink my tactics and follow his lead

  • wallakawallaka Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    wallaka wrote: »
    I like how my quiver somehow had a straight guy in it this week, despite his and mine lack of interest in dudes. Good job, OKC.
    Do you have activity partners/friendship checked as what you're interested in? I do, and I always have female quiver matches, which is OK because I'm looking to meet more friends, male or female. I don't actualy even have relationship options checked.

    Also it may base it a bit off your searches. Occasionally I'll search for girls, and when I do that, I notice my next Quiver email will be half or even mostly girls.

    I think it just did that because of the total lack of women in my area. I've already dated all of the interesting ones that messaged me back. And I haven't searched for dudes...honestly, haven't really been on the site in a month. And all I have checked is dating. It's just funny to me, with the vaunted stats and trends on the site.

  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited May 2010
    OKCupid starts a new campaign: Maybe you're gay?

    Horseshoe wrote:
    I've got good news and bad news about 6th level, That Guy. The good news is that Forbiddance spell allows you to prevent enemies different alignment from entering a consecrated area, which is actually useful! The bad news is that the only other new sixth level spell makes lunch for everybody. Guess which one the party is going to expect you to cast.
  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    So far the only dates I've gotten from OKC are from the girl initiating and asking me out for coffee.

    I want this to happen. It hasn't yet. I can count the number of first messages I've received in the past 10 months on two fingers. Meaning two.

    And I can count the number of responses on two hands.

    And the number of successful dates on 0.

    So what the fuck am I doing wrong?!

  • wallakawallaka Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I've recieved a couple of first messages, but from nobody I was ultimately interested in. I've gone on dates, had 6 week relationship with a girl I met on OKC.

    I think that the main thing the internet dating thing did for me is get my confidence back. I also didn't depend on the site as my sole way of meeting people, just supplemented.

  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    msmya wrote: »
    I guess that's true, Zen did message me first and ask me out.

    But trust me, girls do send out messages to guys too!

    Nobody is arguing that they don't. I've been contacted first a number of times over the years, but that number is a tiny fraction of the number of first messages I've sent out. Probably 2-5% or less.

    But there does seem to be a fairly widespread discrepency in how much messaging the genders do (heterosexually speaking, at least). Annecdotal as it is, every single woman I've talked to about the issue (and we're now up over a dozen) has commented on getting almost constant views and regular (if not overwhelming) mail from people, usually daily. Whereas the men in this very thread (whom surely cover a wide spectrum of personalities and appearances) for the most part seem to be stuck shotgunning messages out, be it a few a week or dozens a day. The problem is at least in part cyclical and self fulfilling, it seems, and I wish there were a better way.

    Or at least a different way. Loathe as I am to agree with Justin on anything (I kid, I kid), it can be frustrating to feel that I'm always the one doing the pursuing. It'd be a nice change of pace to be pursued once in a while, but that starts broaching on societal issues far beyond the scope of this wee thread.

    There are outliers on both sides, to be sure, and huge grey areas in between, but whether it's a difference in the population (I believe OKC has commented on their rough user base, but have they ever broken it down by gender, orientation, age or other such demographics?) or some other factors, that does seem to be how things are for now.

    Edit: also, this thread, the one on porn and the one on "evo-psych" are officially depressing me.

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  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    I know where you live, Forar.

  • wiltingwilting Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    How do I tell the Doctor and Entrepeneur I'm messaging that I'm an unemployed loser? :?

  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Don't.

    But if it comes up, talk about your goals and how you plan to achieve them. It's better to hear that someone has a goal and is actively working towards them than that they are sitting at home jerking off and watching the Price Is Right.

    Hopefully not at the same time.

  • DeaderinredDeaderinred Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Don't.

    But if it comes up, talk about your goals and how you plan to achieve them. It's better to hear that someone has a goal and is actively working towards them than that they are sitting at home jerking off and watching the Price Is Right.

    Hopefully not at the same time.

    but what if the tv and pc are in the same room and you were too lazy to turn the tv off, thats cool right?

  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Don't.

    But if it comes up, talk about your goals and how you plan to achieve them. It's better to hear that someone has a goal and is actively working towards them than that they are sitting at home jerking off and watching the Price Is Right.

    Hopefully not at the same time.

    but what if the tv and pc are in the same room and you were too lazy to turn the tv off, thats cool right?

    Oh yeah, totally cool. Just hit the mute button.

  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    If I didn't want to give up my sig, I would so use that...

    EDIT: So last night at my job I was thinking (which is about the only thing I can do there since the job itself is a boring, repetitive task)... I wounder if I should play up my veteran status and how I recently (about 4 years ago) got out of the service, I am slightly new to the area (sort of, I want to explore more) and looking to make some new friends and possibly build a relationship with someone.

    What brought this on was when I tried to date a girl while I was stationed in San Diego, one mention of the "N" word (Navy) was instead shutdown. So, being the resourceful guy I was, I said that I was an electrical engineer working under government contract (entirely accurate as I was a rated electrician working in the engineering department and had a contract with the Navy to stay in for 6 years).

    But then again... if something were to develop, it's never a good idea to base something on a lie/half-truth.

    newSig.jpg
  • MarauderMarauder Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Nocren wrote: »
    If I didn't want to give up my sig, I would so use that...

    Done and done. Those 3 posts made me giggle.
    EDIT: So last night at my job I was thinking (which is about the only thing I can do there since the job itself is a boring, repetitive task)... I wounder if I should play up my veteran status and how I recently (about 4 years ago) got out of the service, I am slightly new to the area (sort of, I want to explore more) and looking to make some new friends and possibly build a relationship with someone.

    What brought this on was when I tried to date a girl while I was stationed in San Diego, one mention of the "N" word (Navy) was instead shutdown. So, being the resourceful guy I was, I said that I was an electrical engineer working under government contract (entirely accurate as I was a rated electrician working in the engineering department and had a contract with the Navy to stay in for 6 years).

    But then again... if something were to develop, it's never a good idea to base something on a lie/half-truth.

    She could have just had an issue with Navy guys, being in San Diego. My personal belief is to wear it proud...the whole men in uniform, police/firefighter/soldier thing. But dont go overboard with it or youll turn off anyone who is "Meh" on military service or anti-military.

    If it comes up, talk about your goals and how you plan to achieve them. It's better to hear that someone has a goal and is actively working towards them than that they are sitting at home jerking off and watching the Price Is Right.

    Hopefully not at the same time.
  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Oh god, don't sig me. I never post anything worthy enough to sig, lime or report for awesome.

  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Marauder wrote: »
    Nocren wrote: »
    If I didn't want to give up my sig, I would so use that...

    Done and done. Those 3 posts made me giggle.
    EDIT: So last night at my job I was thinking (which is about the only thing I can do there since the job itself is a boring, repetitive task)... I wounder if I should play up my veteran status and how I recently (about 4 years ago) got out of the service, I am slightly new to the area (sort of, I want to explore more) and looking to make some new friends and possibly build a relationship with someone.

    What brought this on was when I tried to date a girl while I was stationed in San Diego, one mention of the "N" word (Navy) was instead shutdown. So, being the resourceful guy I was, I said that I was an electrical engineer working under government contract (entirely accurate as I was a rated electrician working in the engineering department and had a contract with the Navy to stay in for 6 years).

    But then again... if something were to develop, it's never a good idea to base something on a lie/half-truth.

    She could have just had an issue with Navy guys, being in San Diego. My personal belief is to wear it proud...the whole men in uniform, police/firefighter/soldier thing. But dont go overboard with it or youll turn off anyone who is "Meh" on military service or anti-military.

    forgot to type in the "ny" after the "a" there... Seems to me for a Navy town, San Diegians really don't like the boys in blue. And I was born there. Anyway, yeah, I think I need to make an actual mention of my time of service on my OKC profile though. I think I only mention it in passing in a few places, like food and learning my trade skill.

    newSig.jpg
  • ParadisoParadiso Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Forar wrote: »
    There are outliers on both sides, to be sure, and huge grey areas in between, but whether it's a difference in the population (I believe OKC has commented on their rough user base, but have they ever broken it down by gender, orientation, age or other such demographics?) or some other factors, that does seem to be how things are for now.

    I wonder if we might seem some variations in behavior by age. I'm in my late 20s and I know I definitely see a fair number (but still a minority) of women reaching out to me first. Are they always individuals that I am interested in? No, but there are some that are intriguing. This statement is, of course, exceedingly anecdotal.

    It's nice to think that the internet might free up the traditional roles of pursuit, but I wonder how hard it is to shake that stuff.

  • BurtletoyBurtletoy Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Did anyone else get an email from OkCupid recently that tells you how "you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users."

    Cause I think its a pretty weird message to recieve.

  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    There's also that, and the fact that younger generations will have grown up with the net their whole lives, thus haven't got quite the same (often negative) outlook on it (and thus, internet dating) as older generations might. And yet when I try to date women a decade younger, I get yelled at. (note: I don't really try to date women a decade younger than me)

    There could be copious other reasons why the descrepancy/disparity exists. Much of what we discuss is annecdotal. There's a non-zero chance that plenty of guys in my area and age range and of similar interests are being pursued by attractive single women as though their lives were at stake, and perhaps I'm just horribly unattractive to those individuals (in physique or personality). Which isn't to say that I think this is the case, I'm just recognizing that there's a non-zero chance that I (or you, or whomever here) may be part of the problem, as it were. The common denomenator between all the people a given individual makes contact with is, of course, themselves.

    Also known as "Forar's Maybe I'm The Asshole Here? Approach to Introspection".
    Burtletoy wrote: »
    Did anyone else get an email from OkCupid recently that tells you how "you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users."

    Cause I think its a pretty weird message to recieve.

    Yes, it comes up pretty regularly. It's just a marketing scheme and/or recognition that some people have responded favourably to your pictures/profile or something. Which isn't to say that you're not hot shit, just it's going out to lots of people. Except me. I like to think that's because I check reasonably regularly, but, well... Maybe I am the asshole here, and whatnot. >.>

    Edit Part Deux: Well I didn't get a message like BEAST! did, so I guess I'm in the exact middle somewhere. Hooray! I think!

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  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Burtletoy wrote: »
    Did anyone else get an email from OkCupid recently that tells you how "you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users."

    Cause I think its a pretty weird message to recieve.
    I got one that said "you are in the bottom half of OkCupid's most hideously ugly users."

  • ParadisoParadiso Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Burtletoy wrote: »
    Did anyone else get an email from OkCupid recently that tells you how "you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users."

    Cause I think its a pretty weird message to recieve.

    Yes, but I think they could have stood to say, "But seriously, bro. This isn't a gimmick" another half dozen times. Assuring me that it isn't a marketing ploy was a pretty good way to convince me that it was a marketing ploy.

    That said, I did notice my visitors-per-week number doubled shortly thereafter.
    Forar wrote:
    Also known as "Forar's Maybe I'm The Asshole Here? Approach to Introspection".

    My friend, with amazing lines like this you couldn't possibly be part of the problem.

  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Paradiso wrote: »
    Forar wrote:
    Also known as "Forar's Maybe I'm The Asshole Here? Approach to Introspection".

    My friend, with amazing lines like this you couldn't possibly be part of the problem.

    If more people stopped and asked themselves if they were being an asshole in a given situation, I think we'd have fewer assholes in the world. :P

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  • BurtletoyBurtletoy Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Forar wrote: »
    Burtletoy wrote: »
    Did anyone else get an email from OkCupid recently that tells you how "you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users."

    Cause I think its a pretty weird message to recieve.

    Yes, it comes up pretty regularly. It's just a marketing scheme and/or recognition that some people have responded favourably to your pictures/profile or something. Which isn't to say that you're not hot shit, just it's going out to lots of people. Except me. I like to think that's because I check reasonably regularly, but, well... Maybe I am the asshole here, and whatnot. >.>

    Edit Part Deux: Well I didn't get a message like BEAST! did, so I guess I'm in the exact middle somewhere. Hooray! I think!


    yeah, that makes sense because i havent been on the site for a few weeks, so they were probably just sending it to get me to log back in again. kinda like when i got a free week of their premium service or whatever they called it, i guess

  • SmokeStacksSmokeStacks License Number 137596Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I never get confidence-boosting emails or free weeks of premium service.

    I'm just not going to log in for like a month and see what they do to try and woo me back.

    SUP ISORN
    STEAM ME, BABY / PSN: ghjfghdfgcvb
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I get them all the time but then I don't get a lot of crazy cat ladies in my quiver anymore.

    The last two emails I did get are from women in my area that would like to meet me but talk a lot about the guy who killed another that meet each other on craiglist
    Craiglist here is beyond creepy.
    I do log on to see if I get mail in vain

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  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    So I am starting to think the pool of girls I am matched up with in Calgary is getting smaller and smaller. You may remember a few weeks ago (you probably don't) that I chatted with a girl on Facebook after meeting on Okcupid, and she then snagged a boyfriend. Well anyways, we still talk. I notice on her facebook page today somebody writing on her wall, and it's another girl I've been considering messaging on Okcupid recently. Too weird.

    Neither of them knew that the other was on okcupid, it was pretty funny.

    http://twitter.com/#!/dirtylonghair - My Twitter / GT: GreasyKidsStuff / NNID: GreasyKidsStuff / 3DS Friend Code: 4828 5290 8757 / Digital Comics Codes
  • NotYouNotYou Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    MH79 wrote: »
    So I am starting to think the pool of girls I am matched up with in Calgary is getting smaller and smaller. You may remember a few weeks ago (you probably don't) that I chatted with a girl on Facebook after meeting on Okcupid, and she then snagged a boyfriend. Well anyways, we still talk. I notice on her facebook page today somebody writing on her wall, and it's another girl I've been considering messaging on Okcupid recently. Too weird.

    Neither of them knew that the other was on okcupid, it was pretty funny.

    yea, this reminds me, I had a blast looking up various friends and acquaintances who were also on okcupid. It's pretty easy to find people based on knowing their age, location, and interests.

  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Ok thread, since I've had time to think about it (damn 10 hour work shifts), I've updated my profile a bit and I submit to your inspection.

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  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Jokerman wrote: »
    GungHo wrote: »
    I had an an Iron Maiden patch on my jacket and swore I'd be a headbanger for life.

    Then my balls dropped and I decided I wanted to go play with titties.
    Did your balls drop before, or after you joined the Marines?

    Because I'm toltaly picturing you as some metal addict getting off the bus for Basic, all thinking you're bad ass as shit.

    It's an amusing picture in my head, even though I'm sure it has no basis in reality.
    It's half-way true. The Marines did crush the metal bad-ass out... and then tried to put their version of bad ass in. They're weird that way. It's all about branding with them.

    "Adios, mofo" -- TX Gov Rick Perry (R)
  • gjaustingjaustin Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    MH79 wrote: »
    So I am starting to think the pool of girls I am matched up with in Calgary is getting smaller and smaller. You may remember a few weeks ago (you probably don't) that I chatted with a girl on Facebook after meeting on Okcupid, and she then snagged a boyfriend. Well anyways, we still talk. I notice on her facebook page today somebody writing on her wall, and it's another girl I've been considering messaging on Okcupid recently. Too weird.

    Neither of them knew that the other was on okcupid, it was pretty funny.

    I have you beat.

    I was at a party one time and noticed three girls talking. eHarmony had matched me with all three of them.

    Your belief is not required
  • SmokeStacksSmokeStacks License Number 137596Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    So did it turn into a foursome or what?

    Because that is obviously the next logical step.

    SUP ISORN
    STEAM ME, BABY / PSN: ghjfghdfgcvb
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    This girl's list of interests on PoF:
    rugby - music - cooking - travel - live music - zombie movies - art

    Gee, I wonder what we'll talk about :P

    RichyFlag.gifsig.gif
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